As I Close My Eyes

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Dexnail, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. Dexnail Twilight Town Denizen

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    Well heres some poetry i hope you guys enjoy it :)

    As I lay I wonder was it realy worth it,
    before I say my last words would you remember it,
    would I only be a memory or an heart ache,
    sure I may be gone but if we never met I know my heart would ache,
    so I ask myself why did I risk my life,
    the answer is i wanted to protect my happyness your life
    as I bleed I fell pain and sadness,
    but when I see you by me all I can do is smile from this strange happyness,
    so before I enter my never ending sleep I will say I love you,
    all I need to hear is I love you coming out of you lips,
    I smile as I replay my memories seeing the same lips kissing min,
    clossing my eye lids smiling for all the good times i spent with you.
     
  2. Rainbow~Monkey Gummi Ship Junkie

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    aw, thats a nice poem
     
  3. Dexnail Twilight Town Denizen

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    thanks i was listening to music when i typed this do you think i should enter a poetry contest?
     
  4. Rainbow~Monkey Gummi Ship Junkie

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    of course, billy, thats a really good poem. :)
     
  5. lexamus Twilight Town Denizen

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    I find this poem really deep..I'm not sure why...but it does..
     
  6. Destined Working for WDW

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    Couple problems, this is the wrong section. You want the poetry section of the Original Works.

    Second = spelling errors.


    Also, what is line 6 supposed to mean? That is the one line that I was drawn out of because I don't understand what 'to proctor my happiness your life' is supposed to mean. It feels like this is either multiple ideas coming together or a word or two were missing. But proctor seems out of place for this poem.
     
  7. Dexnail Twilight Town Denizen

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    srry it was suppose to be protect and i tried to delet it since its in the wrong section but it wont let me
     
  8. .:BookWorm:. Destiny Islands Resident

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    That was really sad and deep! D=

    I loved it! <3

    Can't wait for more! >w<
     
  9. Destined Working for WDW

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    Easy fixes, you can just go and edit the spelling errors by clicking edit, and instead of deletion, have the section leader just move the thread.