Are Parents Negative Role Models?

What I am trying to say is though parents care for you, feed you, love you, etc. They also teach you about ‘Good and Evil’ this leads to discussion about how you should like everyone, respect elders, not agree with racism, etc.
But parents usually hate foreigners, talk bad about someone behind their backs, tell you to kill bugs (it could lead to something bigger) and make you hate what they hate, to me it seems that they wish to do something negative but they themselves do it, parents do not seem like the role model many should follow.
Sorry if I have offended anyone, and if anyone is a parent tell me how they teach or taught their children.

 

my parents are great role models imo.they never tell me anything that doesnt make sense.and if i dont agree with them with something they dont get mad or anything.they just accept it.so for your question i think parents make good role models depending on what they tell you and if you can base it on a true fact.

 

When you are young (usually when can first speak) anyone can tell you what is right and wrong and you would believe it because you wouldn't know anything else.
For a moment look at everything that your parents have taught you, then see what you think.

 

It depends on the parent. If they are cruel, then that can be bad. If they are kind, then that can be good. It also depends on what and how they teach their kids. If they hit them for doing wrong, and hate their child for some heartless reason, then their child will grow up hateing and hurting. If they love their child and are kind to them, then the kid will grow up to be happy and kind. Well, this isn't always definate either. There are other influences on a child, lots of them, and they can increase or decrease a child's hate or love as well. It also may lead a child to rebellion, if they hate the way they are treated. It depends on what path the child chooses...and sometimes, they have only one available to them. Sometimes, they can't see another path. Sometimes, they know of only one. And sometimes...they don't get the chance to choose a path. But...they will choose one, forced or free willed. And all their influences lead them down it....

 

I'd have to say that I'm split here. Half of me wants to say that everything my parents have told me is true...but the other half of me is saying that not everything they've taught me is necessarily true.

Think about it. There really wouldn't be as many issues with race if it hadn't been for our parents and their parents telling everybody what to think.

I think you're right, and this is a very interesting little topic...

So totally true. I love this answer.

 

My parents don't hate foreigners. We joke about them sometimes, but they've taught me to be inclusive, and most of the time it's established that none of these 'joke' are taken seriously. So no to that. Sure, I'll admit they talk behind other people's backs, and sometimes we do it together. But I don't consider myself nor my parents perfect, and we do hate some kinds of people, but this bitterness isn't based off race or religion.

My parents don't make me hate what they hate. Instead, they tell me what they hate (or conversely, what they love), and explain why. From there, it's my decision. This system of communication is partly the reason why my parents are traditional Roman Catholics, yet here I am severely agnostic and never go to church. My parents neither blame nor punish me for it, and I don't interfere with their faith either.

While I know the bug thing was sort of figurative, my parents don't tell me to do that either. We kill houseflies and stuff, but I don't think that makes any of us bad people.

I'm sorry if your parents somehow fit your description, but if you think that's the general consensus among the parent demographic, you're sadly mistaken.

At this point in my life, I don't consider my parents role-models--that stopped when I was around thirteen. I perceive them as my care-givers who obviously have much more experience than I do about many things in life, but I will never hesitate to refuse their advice or their opinion on something if I don't agree with it.

The very fact that I'm able to do this, and that my parents accept this differing view of mine, shows that I'm not exactly being modeled after my parents. There's an element of choice that they give me, and many parents choose to do it this way. We learn some fundamentals from our parents, but a large part of our individualism comes from these 'choices' that we discern on our own about how we perceive the things around us.

 

I am talking about the normal parent that tells you to be good, what to do and what not to do but are usually hypocrites.

And thak you!

To Soushirei, parents don't usually openly say 'Hey you should hurt that person over their', usually they do it secretly without you knowing it.

 

I don't think it's wise to label this as 'normal', but instead a 'type' of parent. And in all respects, fine I'll agree that hypocritical parents to that degree should do some rethinking on how to go about raising their kids.

I believe Oblivion was talking about FireNanaki's post.

It's also quite possible that parents also act without knowing what they're doing as well. This may make them 'ignorant', but it doesn't change the fact that they're trying to teach something good, even if they mistakingly went against what they said--out of ignorance.

But I digress, a parent who doesn't intentionally communicate to their child that what they're doing 'is right' isn't forcing the child to follow their ways. It's the child taking the initiative. That's why when a kid randomly swears and says "I heard Mommy/Daddy say it" when asked where he/she had learned it, this isn't an issue of hypocrisy as it is insensitivity to the child's learning environment, and thus is simply a parent being careless, rather than being a hypocrite.

 

Soushirei, do you hate everything I type? I admit that I type things many people don't believe about but could you at least respect my view like I respect yours.

 

I have no kids myself though I am older and look after my siblings kids. I try to teach and present as balanced a point of view as possible and at the same time allow them to form their own opinions. There is however some restrains that may stop them having complete freedom. It's a difficult path to walk. You must remember that parents are human as well and have been influenced by their parents, so some wrong beliefs and teachings are passed down though successive generations.

I think Soushirei has summed this up perfectly. There are types of parents and guardians, and each has their own idea about raising kids. There are no instructions and the 'manuals' are written by so called experts who are themselves human and therefore fallible.

It's a fact that a large proportion of parents now look to the internet for advice.

 

Nope. Not everything. And I'm sure you know full well what it's like to respect someone's view but disagree. That's pretty much what I've done.

Disrespecting your view would probably be somewhere along the lines of calling you Satan's spawn, or pretty much saying you're going to hell (if that exists) and your life is worthless, or something.

If you want to believe parenting is a constitution of hypocrisy, I really couldn't tell you otherwise, however all I'm saying is that you shouldn't label that as 'normal', nor should you think that is the essence of parenting. Your initial post on this thread sure made it look that way. 'Normal' parents couldn't be accurately defined by neither you nor I, so it's probably best to just avoid introducing such a category altogether.

 

Parents teach us many things, but unless they practice domestic violence, alcohol abuse, etc. I don't think they're bad role model. I love my parents and think they are great role models. Unless it's getting up in the morning or getting off the computer at 3 A.M. they let me make my own choices and I really like that they do that. Also, they have more experience than us and we learn off them. So no, my parents or the parents of most people I know are bad role models. I think they're all good. Maybe because you feel yours are, you have that mindset but I don't tihnk mine are bad at all.

 

Fair enough, I am sorry that I put things down that might not make sense but I will try to explain what I mean, when I type normal i mean a parent who sends they children to school in hopes that they will do better than them, though they have restraints and are not told everything, such as sex, drugs, etc.

 

I believe that it is relative. It the parent is a criminal or abusive, then yes, he and/or she is a bad role model. But if not, then no. I believe that parenting should be in two modes. Nurturing and Disipline. I believe that it is the mother's general job to nuture and the father's general job to disipline. Either side by itself is not good. They have to be balanced. A mother has to say "Ok, I nurture and care for and help him, but I need to know when to say that enough is enough and that I'm not helping you this time." And a father needs to know when to say "Ok, I have to disipline and teach my kid right from wrong, but when is the time when I stop being the drill seargent for a while and start being helpful." I believe that my parents are good role models.

 

You are being a little sexist ther but you do have a point that given the right amount of each it could work out, but their are many other factors to consider so the end result could be completely different.
Though if you do have criminal or abusive parent(s) that could also affect your life positively, you could try to fight back aginst the parent or try to be the exact opposite of your parent leading you to a positive result though I said to consider the factors would change it completely.

 

The thing is, most problems in society can be traced back to problems in the last generation being passed down. As parents have such a large effect on children anything they do is quickly lapped up. On the otehr side, if the parent doesn't bother or can't actually cope, the child also ends up bad. It all depends on the parent, some people just aren't meant to have children, and then if they do then their children are less likely to be able to bring up children properly and so on and so forth.

 

The title's really ambiguous and the topic itself completely subjective. Parents mentor us the best they can until we're ready to think, act, do, and be critical for ourselves. Granted no one is perfect, and there are an awfully lot of shoddy and just plain shiet parents out there, but you're trying to lump them all into some category that is only partial to a much larger equation-- rather cynical in my opinion. Of course we develop certain behaviours and mannerisms from our parents simply by observing them (for more than half of our lives we imprent on their actions), and of course we're going to pick up some things that we will realize aren't the best. But 90% of the time our parents are the best role models that we have in front of us.

 

The reson I catergories is to make it easier for certaln people to understand me, I am not the best at getting my point across.

 

you know that not all parents are the same. Some are paranoid about your every move (my mom), and some really don't care about you that much. Some parents also let you believe what you want, and not what they want. And you are not affected by only their behaviour, but also of your surounding, and almost everything else. So parents are neither good, nor bad role models, it all depends which parents they are