note (this is my first ever story so go easy on me) Chapter1 An Unexpected visiter One day Sora and Kiari were sitting on the soft sand of the beach when Riku came along "Hey Sora come over here!" shouted Riku. "Ok" replied Sora and he left Kiari on her own. "What is it?" asked Sora. "Do you remember that Xemnas guy we killed 2 years ago?" asked Riku. "yeah" said Sora. "Well" said Riku "I think he is still alive" said Riku. "What!" yelled Sora. "Thats exactly what i said" said Riku. Then all of a sudden they heard Kiari sream. "EEEK!!" screamed Kiari "Let me go Mansex" yelled Kiari. "How dare you call me that its Xemnas so get used to it!" yelled Xemnas Then all of a sudden Sora and Riku appeared "Let her go Xemnas!" shouted Sora But before he could say another word Xemnas was gone and took Kiari with him "Kiari!!" shouted Sora... and thats the end of Chapter 1 i hope you enjoyed it!
:D That was short, but good. You should try making it a bit more descriptive. I like it though! :D *gives you a thumbs up*
Chapter 2 Chapter two reinforcements After Xemnas (Mansex) had gone Sora and Riku held a meeting at Selphie's house. "All right every body lets team up to kick that bas***'* ass" said Riku. "And who is this bas*** anyway?" asked Tidus. "Who else Xemnas" explained Sora. "WHAT!!!" yelled Selphie. "Its true said Riku. "He's back" said Sora. "So how can we help?" asked Wakka. "Well said Sora if you could join me,Riku and some of our old friends we can kick his big,fat ass "Thats all very good Sora but how do we know were Xemnas is ?" asked Tidus. "Well um er... thats a good point" said Sora. "Come on Sora don't tell me you have forgotten The World That Never Was" said Riku. Suddenly a letter and parcel from Kiari swooshed through the window "Go on Sora pick it up and read it" said Selphie. "Good idea" *opens letter* hmm it says Dear Sora Xemnas wanted me to tell you that he doesn't reside in TWTNW anymore.He now stays at Castle Oblivian lots of love Kiari xx P.S There is also a suprise in the package that came with this letter. "Hmm a suprise"said Sora *opens package* "Wow a new keyblade" yelled Sora. "It's called The Detection Saber" said Sora. Just then the door swung open and in came... Roxas "Hi people" said Roxas "Wat up" "Just in time Roxas" said Riku "We are going to rescue kiari" explained Selphie. "Can i tag along?" asked Roxas. "Sure said Sora" "Were just about to leave" Suddenly a whirring noise filled the room. "The Gummie Ship" yelled Roxas and Sora. Then in came Donald and ..King Mickey "All right Sora" said Donald "Lets go!" and thats the end of Chapter Two :D
too short, there are a ton of spelling and grammatic errors, way too much dialogue and almost no description.
