Okay, here's a story I wrote for my Creative Writing class. CnC is welcomely appreciated :) Here goes; The sun burned brightly in the background, its luminous rays piercing through the soft leaves of the oak trees. Forest lay sprawled out in all directions, appearing as to be walls of a maze. The forest sat silently in the light, occasionally filled with a robin's chirp, or the murmur of a stray fox off in the shadowy distance. For a moment everything stood still, even the raging rivers slowing to a mere stop. A figure stepped out of the dark corners of the woods; their slim build wrapped in a brown rain coat. Their arms hung to their hips, hands clutching the interior of the tan sleeves like a child does a mother’s hand. The figure ambled aimlessly through the trees, the edges of the cloak gracefully brushing against the delicate trunks. The leaves twirled in the bitter air, fluttering like butterflies over a field of flowers. The figure looked up solemnly at these things in flight. Their amethyst eyes glowered in soft wonder and awe, watching the flying creatures in flight. The leaves flew into a ragged path, one falling short from the others. The wind slowed to a mere drift, as the figure silently motioned towards the fallen leaf. They opened their hands slowly, and gently scooped up the leaf, staring at the crisp green color. They moved their hand over the leaf, intrigued by its rough texture. The figure then pocketed the leaf, and walked down the ragged path sprawled before them. The leaf storm swirled over the crescent shaped shells embedded into the ground like stars in the night sky. The shells were a variety of colors and shapes, each one differing from the others. The figure followed closely behind, admiring these lowly shells on the shore. They picked on up, examining it in the same manner as the leaf. The shell was soft in comparison; it’s texture glassy like a crystal. The figure then put this into a pocket, a smile forming on their face. They paused for a while, seemingly waiting for something to come out of the shadows. There was still no movement, still silent. The figure sighed coolly, continuing down the path ahead, the dirt and shells progressively turning into sand. The air smelled of fresh water. The sand crept forward until it reached the shoreline, where water from the seas abroad crashed into it. The beach was empty, except for the bench that rested near the shore. The figure now appeared from the path, absorbing the fresh water scent that brushed the air. Their nose began to tickle, and they sneezed silently. They looked around the beach, gaze falling to the bench. In a moment, they appeared sitting upon the bench, tapping their fingers against the hard wood. They reached up to the hood of their coat, peeling off the mask that shielded them from society. A flurry of blond hair emerged from beneath the hood, standing out in the now pitch dark beach. The hair bounced in front of their face, causing them to growl in irritation, and swept the hair from their face. Beneath the hair emerged the face of teenage girl, whose face was sprinkled with freckles. Her eyes pulsated with disappointment, as she sat sulking there in the darkness of the night. She jumped. Mist began to emerge from the center of the sea. Fear began to well up inside of her. The mist spread quickly, covering the entire beach in a matter of seconds. She rose and turned to face the sea, where a person in a black cloak emerged. They stepped across the water, the water splashing gently with each step. Sweat began forming on her cheeks, heartbeat pulsating louder and faster with each step. Eventually, the figure stepped upon the sand, coming towards her. Panicking, she stepped forward, face firm and set for a fight. The mysterious figure stopped, and laughed heartily, breaking the silence of the dark beach. “You never stop making me laugh, Adrianne†they said in a deep, cracked voice. The figure pulled their hood off, revealing a male with deep blue hair. “Leo!†She screamed, rushing over to him. She attempted to hug him but he moved swiftly out of the way. She looked at him surprised, while he merely gave her a cold, yet sorrowful look. "It's...it's time you came back" he said, gaze fixated on the waters of the beach. She scowled, turning her back towards him. "You know I can't do that." She heard him scoff and turned around to see him still fixated upon the water. "Why not? If you don't', they'll destroy you." he said, voice still as calm as the waters captured in his gaze. "I want to meet-" At this point, Leo turned around at her, fury blasting through his lungs, lunging full force for her shoulders. "Don't you understand?! This isn't kiddie business anymore. We've long since abandoned that role. We're part of the System now. They'll kill you indefinitely if you dare to betray them, let alone chase after that person." he shouted, shaking her wildly. Tears flowed down her eyes, flying upon his raging hands. He gasped, and released her with a look of pity upon his face. He stepped back, Adrianne's head now looking at the shells on the ground. "Adrianne...I'm sorry. I never meant, I guess I'm just-" he fell silent, looking around at the surrounding forest whose echoes called from the distance. He held out his hand, mist surrounding him. He smiled towards her. "Come on! Let's go back-" A explosive crack filled the air, owls flying away from the beach in terror. Leo flew back through the misty portal, barely conscious, cursing silently in the night. The mist cleared, with Adrianne, eyes burning red, standing near the spot in which Leo stood, a blueish sword resting in her left hand with blood dripping slowly down the edge. She put her hood back on, a large gust of wind enveloping her. I'm coming for you she thought, disappearing into the silence of the night.
Very powerfully descriptive piece you have here. The opening flavor you set up really takes the reader to the forest. My one concern with the paragraphs of description is that they are a bit blocky, you may want to consider breaking them up to go with the flow, otherwise, I'm interested in seeing this continued. Good work.
