My darkened state has come across as unwilling Happy I may be but something feels like its missing Air is all around me, but no matter my effort, I cannot breathe My life has meaning now though, I no longer wish to leave There is a cold breeze that will extinguish my burning cause Fear of what it may be: a beast? A ghoul? something with claws? None of these though are the root to my deep stem A history of disappointment is where this story must begin The vision of light would blind, forcing me to adore the moon The sun and its rays would leave me to my doom I had to take precaution by dispersing this blinding light This made me different, which caused me and others to fight “A genius, a boy of talent, something real bright” my seniors said No matter the reason they gave, my motivation was dead Each year of learning started and ended the same First succession, the soon after, a spell would end my fame I grew up with my parents who loved each other, still do But the anger towards me has left a puddle of blue I try to impress and give them some hope for my future As time goes on, that goal goes farther and farther. There was also some past experiences with love A girl I had gotten in trouble from for knowing to much of Another interest had no glue, or tape, or even a stitch My first real love had come to cheat, she was a real ***** Not is all bad in this depressing tale of which I speak I have some happiness still and its anything but weak Where there is tears of sadness and extreme pain lies a rainbow of joys that make me never complain There are those that cherish me as if I were a brother A lucky coincidence was each of us together Whether it was through school or some social networks When I am with them in creates a chain of fireworks There are also little critters to whom will always be there They will always be with me because I know they care They are the colors that follow: Orange, calico, gold, and white When they are with me my heart will always feel right Then there is this new happiness that is in my life A new girl, a new love, someone I can see to be my wife Even though our journey together has just begun I know our passion for one another is eternal as the sun Now this is where I am in this small tale I call the present A gift has made itself clear, a gift so pure and innocent Although my past has been dark and unclear My future looks bright with you beside me here
Excellent work ^^ Spelling and grammar looked a-okay. The emotions in the words come off strongly, as a good piece of poetry will do. The rhyming scheme could use a little work, of course I hold no value to a rhyming scheme. For instance the words "networks" and "fireworks" are similar, yet they don't exactly rhyme. I have to give you props though, I rarely see poems this lengthy anymore. Length isn't always a good thing, but it gives this piece that "edge" that sets it apart. Nice piece ^^
Very well done Myst, but... I have to say this This line right here My life has meaning now though, I no longer wish to leave It confuses me a bit where you say your life has meaning currently though you no longer wish to leave. Was it supposed to be done that way on purpose or did you mean it someway else?
