For a second there I thought you were trying to tell me I'd left a typo in xDx But yesh, j'aime la musique.
I cannot believe I forgot this word: Perkele! It'd just *sniffles* so perfect!
To me it's rarely the meaning of the word, just the way it sounds and rolls off of my tongue. So my favorite words are 'lust' and 'crayon'. They're just so much fun to say for some reason xDx
Hey, I'm gonna be working late tomorrow, so I probably won't have a chance to send the harmonies after all. Hopefully what I sent will be enough ;_;
@Makaze 2:15-2:40 *shudders*
And then there was the clearly unwanted touching D'X
Spoiler I couldn't resist >.<
Wizard angst?
I'll get the rest of the critiques done when I'm done at work, I swear ;.; I am finally done, days late >.< I hate real life sometimes... If anyone wants to talk to me about the critiques, please feel free to PM/VM me. Terra254 Spoiler Okay, I really liked the effort you put in this, I can see that you do want to compete, but there were quite a few things that bothered me. The pacing was a tad rushed, and there were parts I found incredibly unrealistic, for example when the Viking was hitting Alex and Alexis. Unless the sword was the bluntest thing ever, Alex should have lost a limb or two, and Alexis would be very, very dead. And even if it was a blunt sword, the force of a grown, furious man would have broken bones and caused serious concussions, if not worse. You also need to work on characterization, I couldn’t really get a grasp on Alex, and I found Alexis to be an annoying damsel in distress. I’m not saying that you should make her into a super-brilliant Amazonian fighter, and if you intend to make her b*tchy, go for it, just remember to give her depth, and make her contribute into scenes in other ways than to make your heroic male lead look good. I’ll stop my femi-nazi rant now >.< Despite the unrealism in the scene, I did find your way of defeating the Viking very creative, and I liked it a lot. I also appreciate that you were able to get so much done in such a short post, which as you can probably see from this, I’m completely incapable of doing. The colors were pleasant enough for the forums default. You show great effort, so please don’t take this as a discouragement, think of them as tools for improvement. Good luck ;D Firekeyblade Spoiler I really liked your characterization, it was quite strong and clear. You established the relationships with the ‘other’ characters pretty well. Really, my only complaint would have been that you used different colors for the narrations for both characters, or that the tone would have been clearly different. In this case, you practically had to spell out whose point of view we were following. Nevertheless, your post was a good one. I found the way you used brains, brawn and cooperation to defeat the mighty Viking Northman great, and this was overall a fun, interesting and pleasant read, which left me yearning for more. Well done! Britishism Spoiler Well, first of all, MAKE SURE YOU READ THE RULES A GAZILLION TIMES IN THE FUTURE, OR YOU’LL SURELY LOSE THE AMAZING RACE *shot* Ahem, with that out of the way, let’s get into the proper critique. This almost seemed like a scene out of a full-length novel, which at the same time is a good and bad thing. Good, in that it shows great writing skills, bad in that it may not be enough RP-like. And, yes, I’m aware that saying this makes me the biggest hypocrite ever Dx Anyhow, you have some very intriguing, even dark characters. It’s at the point where I’m not sure if I want to root for them, or if I’ll love hating them, but kudos to you for making such a strong impression on me. Also, you separated the narrations perfectly; I probably could’ve been able to say which one was narrating even without names or colors being added to make it easier. I was surprised how violent the resolution was, and how the ending took such a dark turn, although the turtle comment made me snicker. One thing I’ll have to nitpick on, I think you mentioned that Jen was unconscious during the final confrontation with Mr. Scandinavian terror, so I’m a bit puzzled of how she remembered that it was her father who was responsible of his demise. But apart from those few points, and your flub with the rules (thank you for owning up for it, btw), you did a great job. PS. Valhallavator? Pure genious, man xD Midnight Star Spoiler I liked that the characters barely knew each other to begin with, I found that somewhat unique. I also liked how quickly they clicked, and there was some interesting chemistry going around. And again, you had pretty strong characterization, and I liked their complementing personalities. And as I wrote that last sentence, I immediately thought about them being a bit like Aerith and Zack xDx My problem with the post was that it left me a tad under whelmed. There was nothing wrong, per say, but there was that special ‘je ne sais quoi’ missing. I know this next piece of advice is gonna sound like complete BS, but try to find some kinda magic into your writing, find a point you’re trying to get across, make us feel something. But overall, it’s a good start, and I’m sure you’ll be able to improve with the future challenges. PS. WOO, NAME BUDDIES! Miss Me Ni Mienai Spoiler You have a fun, quirky writing style that was easy to read. The wax museum setting was a nice twist. You used both of your characters pretty well, and both had distinct personalities. You managed to make the less ‘active’ Nikki still useful, she definitely contributed to the scene. Nice cliffhanger too, if this were an actual RP I could easily see it continued. Few minor nitpicks though, I think you used a bit too many colors in the post, try to limit it to one/character, or have the narration the default color (white), and every characters lines in their color. Also, why was a Viking using a Greek goddess as his battle cry? master keyblade Spoiler Your characters had a lovely, almost 'frenemy' like rapport going on, and again, both characters contributed to the scene. I found the first paragraph to be a bit clumsy in a way, the writing just didn't flow at that point, so I was incredibly surprised by how engaging the rest was. I guess my advice for you is to make sure you have a strong start. That's what gives the first impression to the writing, and in worst case scenarios some people might dismiss the rest, no matter how good the rest is. Fortunately for you, I did read the rest, and I really ended up liking it. The 'hole in the middle of a room' was a bit unrealistic, but it definitely was creative. In the future, continue thinking outside the box, but do remember to keep things in the realm of reality. I'm definitely rooting for you, though! Marushi Spoiler I'm speechless (errr, typeless? writingless?) This is just perfect! Your characters are amazing, I love the way they interact, I'm practically 'awww'ing at them! Minor quibble here, but I thought the green you chose to represent Tatsuo's speech kinda clashed with the overall color, I'd maybe change it to a darker blue if I were you. But seriously, that was the only problem I had with this. I hope you can keep this standard up, cause you certainly set the bar high for yourself! P Spoiler I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but... This too seems like something out of a novel. And again, like with Britishism's post, it was surprisingly dark and violent, with an odd bit of humor to it. You've created some absolutely odd characters, it's gonna be interesting where you'll take them. You're obviously a very good writer, I'd just tone it down from 'best selling novel' to 'kickass role playing post' if I were you, if you get what I'm saying? Great job! Tummer Spoiler You're a great writer, I could practically feel the tension in the scene. And your characters are very interesting, I always love seeing couples who seem to defy social gender norms. However, I don't feel that you dealt with the danger in a satisfactory way. From how I understood it, they practically hid from the killer, and that killer is still a threat that needs to be resolved somehow. In the future, try to stick to the challenges a bit better. But major kudos for you for being the first person not to use a viking as the killer. FuzzyBlueLights Spoiler I absolutely adore your snarky tone of writing, and how it's still distinct between the characters without losing the edge. You had me laughing quite often, the whole "Is 911 free or not?" probably being the biggest source of giggles for me. I also really loved this phrase: It's probably the music geek in me squeeing, but oh well. I have really no real problems with this. You dealt with the challenge appropriately, your writing is great, your characters are great... Yeah, just keep up the good work, and you'll do great! Ace Sukebe Spoiler Maybe it's because I'm reading this a 12:30 am after nearly twelve hours of work, but I didn't quite get Ruby's thoughts at the beginning. From the way I understood it, it seems that she regrets that she can't ruin other peoples lives without it disrupting hers. Now, if that's what you're going for, I'm all for it, the more sociopaths we have on board the better, if not, you need to choose your wording a bit better, make things somewhat clearer. Chyeze's creepy perv makes for an interesting read, but the repeated accidental boob grab got rather annoying after the second time it happened. It just seems like a cheap laugh to me, and I'd advise to use that kind of physical comedy with discretion. Overall, the overt sexualization kinda bothered me, especially when it happened in Ruby's point of view. I can get when it's from Chyeze's POV, but it's unnecessary otherwise. And the violence was a bit excessive, it seemed so callous in a way. It was definitely a interesting way to deal with the danger, to let someones lust make them do such a dangerous thing. You do have a knack for writing, you just have to be careful how you use it, and make it slightly clearer. Good luck to you!
Drat! He's found the secret formula for every other thread on KHV! EVERYBODY PANIC!!!1
I don't think Glee has done it yet, it just fits the type of songs they do on the show... Btw, can anybody hit that really high note in Joanne's solo? I've only been able to get that high on rare occasions, and it sounds closer to cats being murdered than an actual tune... EDIT: Voted for This is Halloween, in my opinion it's the most fun of the songs in a way.
Green username means you're a 'reporter', you basically just give the latest info on upcoming KH-games (and Square in general, it seems). So pretty much the same as when you left, just now we have a couple more reporters on our hands 8D
Guilty pleasure implies that I actually felt bad for liking this... but What The Hell I FREAKING LOVE THIS WOMAN, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY, NOTHING YOU CAN DO THERE'S NO OTHER WAY WHEN IT COMES TO THE TRUTH TO MAKE IT NOT SO.
What the hay. Just to clarify (cause I forgot last time >.>), I'm a chick.
^This! I could do the Finnish version 8D
Just sent you a e-mail 8D
It's the opposite for me, the melody is a tad low for me, but since I'm a soprano I'll sound incredibly feminine if I make it higher >.<
Hah, nope, luckily it's not revealing, just kinda blurry ;.; Spoiler Is it okay if I send two 'serious' takes, one trying to stick to the melody, one with harmonizing and you chose which fit better?
Is it too late to get a pic?
Eh, light purple I suppose (from the chorus before the acapella?) ... Would a picture of me in drag be appropriate? >.<
