unnfff I think I'm gonna jizz in my pants brb gotta get an extra pair
You didn't misread anything...I'm coming for that virginity of yours tonight. You may give in or fight, but the result will be the same. YOU GON...
You both seem to be saying something similar. Be me and do what the **** makes me happy. Which is what I've been starting to do as of late...it seems to be working. I'll look into that David Choe guy, too. I think I've heard of him. And you can browse around compl3xx.bandcamp.com and hear my ****. Most of it is from last year, but it's still pretty coolio I guess. Some new stuff should be up there in a couple weeks.
Quite fun doing that with a lot of songs actually xD
Hayley stop changing your name. I didn't vote for you in any categories cause I didn't think you were nominated cause I didn't know that you changed your name again ;__; Also DPWolf for the hell of it.
Write in Cin. Wtf how did no one nominate him. ******s.
Zero votes? Well ****...
Sounds like a rave up in dis hea thread yo
That's why I don't want to see a professional. I don't think listening to the whole "No, you're wrong. This is right" method will work for me. Pushing myself has been harder this summer. I feel like skill wise, I've improved a lot but I feel as if success wise, I've been almost standing still. It's just stressful. I don't see myself making it where I want to be sometimes and that's the only thing in life I even care about doing. My fantasies aren't even realistic. If they became real I'd honestly be a bit scared. I go to a christian school, and as much as I have no problem Christianity (It's been extremely helpful with my situation, I've met some great people with great advice for me), at my school people are too judgemental for my liking and I feel like the first thing the counselor would do there is tell me I'm the spawn of Satan and seek professional help. I doubt I'll ever be able to bring myself to looking for professional help. I'm just the type of person that hates asking for help in any way, shape or form. Even in school, in the classes I struggled in teachers didn't think I cared because I didn't ask any questions. I just hate depending on others. And love...I doubt I'll actually go looking for it, at least for now. Too insecure. Can't even talk to the girl I like, which I hate but sometimes I think it's for the best. Takes out the whole risk factor of getting hurt. And about music, that makes sense. I could never not like my music and if I do, I quit listening to it or delete it halfway through recording. I love my music. It's like my friend. Kinda saddens me that you quit, but I understand. I'll never forget how much you helped me out when I was starting.
S/ecrets T/hat D/estroy - Mickey Factz
You make a good point, but sometimes I just doubt myself and my potential. I think it comes from the fact that most people around me doubt me. Especially my parents. My mom in particular. I feel like she thinks I'm just going to be a screw up. I guess you're right. I guess I just have to be more confident about it all. When I am confident in myself things seem to go well, but I'm not confident often enough. I gotta work on that. Done. I've got two whole albums about my crazy fantasies and then some. I guess I've just been worried about if it somehow started effecting reality but as of now it doesn't too much. For now, I'll stay away from professionals. Still too scared to tell my parents, or a doctor or anything like that. Three artists in particular have had that effect on me. One who has become one of my best friends, one who I've had the pleasure of speaking to a few times because we share a lot of mutual friends and what not through music, and one who I recently started listening to. And that is something I'd love. To have that effect on someone, to the point where listening to my songs makes them feel as if I'm one of their closest friends. I know, but I just don't want to see a professional. Can't even say exactly why, I just don't.
How relatives and such would feel is one thing that usually comes into my mind and stops me from killing myself. Usually. And it's not that my friends and family are "cold", it's the fact that I don't care too much about anything and I feel alienated from my 'friends'. Sometimes I feel I have a purpose, and I go through all this for a reason so I can achieve something, but other times I feel like there's no point. Sometimes I think that feeling of purpose is just part of the delusions of grandeur that I sometimes credit my "alternate reality" and cockiness in my music too. I don't trust my relatives enough to talk to them about this and I don't want my friends to worry. And I don't want to see professional help.
Friends and Lovers by Incubus
I barely even know how to start this. I guess I'll start by saying I hate myself. Usually. Sometimes I'm okay with me, but I usually hate myself. I want to kill myself. I've only told one person, but I want to kill myself. Recently, I've started cutting myself. I even tried to overdose on pills not long ago...I ended up not doing this because I found out the exact combination of pills I was going to use can cause serious liver failure and I thought that'd be too slow, and probably painful. As of the past two years it's been reflecting into my choice in music listen and writing/recording habits. I listen to a lot of music about suicide, depression, etc. and most of my music has faint references to how I feel about myself and life in general. I have a pretty low self esteem as well. I have no confidence in myself or in any aspect of my life aside from music, but the lack of confidence in other areas sort of hinders my confidence there as well. I'm afraid to talk to people about my issues. Afraid to the point where I've been wanting to make this thread for two years, maybe more. I just want to die and not have to worry about life. Everything is stressful, and I feel like no one cares about me. All I've ever wanted is to have someone who loves me. Someone I can trust, and who will be there for me and who understands me, down to the insanity that is my music. Which brings me to the fact that I've had my heart broken so many times that its actually effected how I behave and display emotion. I'm apathetic, cynical and sadistic. I don't care about anything. School, communicating with other people, anything. Except music. I feel like I don't need anything except musical success and someone who loves me. And I don't have either of those and I guess that's why I just wish I was dead. I enjoy seeing others suffer, like me. Whether it been in movies or real life. Fiction or reality, it doesn't matter. That brings me to the next part. My sense of fiction and reality is somewhat blurred. I've taken childhood fantasy of being a hero to whole new extreme. In my head, I'm like a God. I've been developing an entire alternate reality in my head since about 2nd or 3rd grade. It's like ****ing final fantasy times a billion with me as the star. I don't know if I'm just immature, insane, or if this is actually normal... And then, back to the whole heartbreak thing. First, it was 7th grade to like 10th grade with one girl. There was a break in 8th grade where I feel for my best friend...that didn't work. I got the whole "you're my brother thing". So then yeah back to the other girl. We were like best friends for a while. I helped her with all her crazy boyfriend issues, and some were really crazy. I was always there for her no matter what. One time she was even drunk and started texting me telling me she wanted to hook up with me and I didn't out of respect for her. But **** it. The point is, I hate myself and I hate my life and I want to die. But at the present moment, I don't want to kill myself. That much. I've been better about that as of late, but for a long time I did. I really feel like all I have is the music I write and record, and the "imaginary friends" of mine, for lack of a better phrase. I've tried the normal things people do to escape their issues like smoking weed and drinking. They're not that great. Enjoyable for a short amount of time, but they don't do it for me. I don't want any pity. Maybe some suggestions and what not but keep your pity to yourself. I just felt it was time to finally vent.
Everyone saying get over her, you're stupid. That's NOT that ****ing easy. With that said... That is the ultimate truth. I know you probably wanna beat the dude's ass, ruin the relationship, and just spazz out but that wont help you. I've been there before. More than once. It sucks, but you have to let her do what she wants. Just be there for her because honestly "being there" is as close as you may get to being her man. Who knows, maybe it'll work out for you but in the 3 times it's happened to me, it didn't. I know how you feel, but don't let how ****** your life is be an excuse for making other people's lives ******. I know you feel like you've got nothing to lose, I've been there too. I've been called all those things you said people called you, I feel the same way about life but guess what? This is your life, that's hers. The line between people's lives is a thin one and if you ever want to hold the position you want in her life, ****ing with her life as it is now will NEVER get you there.
Bamp .
I vote for sudden deathnote
Sudden Deathnote seems interesting...
Sunrise by Mickey Factz
I thought that was the smell of teen spirit...
