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I'm sorry, I wish I could post it but it would be deleted after a while so I ain't...
But to give you a hint, it's a dictionary site... wish you could search your own usernames there too!

A blonde girl is fed up with being treated as though she is stupid by everyone around her and so one day she decides enough is enough. She dyes her hair brown, packs in her job and moves to the country to start a new life where no-one knows her. Her new life gets off to a good start with a good job and nice house in the country where she goes for long walks every day.

One day she is on one of her walks and finds herself walking past a field full of sheep where she sees a farmer leaning against the fence and decides to prove to herself and this stranger that she is not a "dumb blonde". She walks straight up to the farmer and says to him, "If I can guess how many sheep you have in that field can I have one?", the farmer looks at her then looks at the field full with clumps of sheep and figures it can't hurt, "sure, go ahead." he replies.

The woman turns to the field, closes her eyes and takes a breath then opens her eyes again quickly and scans the field. She then turns to the farmer and says, "393". The farmer is astonished and blinks in disbelief not knowing how she could come up with the exact number of sheep so quickly but being an honest man he turns to the woman and says to her, "I can't believe you got that right but a deals a deal, you can go into the field and take whichever sheep you want".

The woman makes her selection and walks out of the field and toward the farmer with a broad grin on her face and a satisfied sense of achievement at her win. Just as she is passing the farmer he calls out to her and says, "mind if I try a wager now?", the woman thinks it over and replies confidently, "fine, a wager about what?". "Well...", the farmer says, "...if I can guess what your real hair colour is can I have my dog back?"

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile phone rang.
It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realised she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful coffee slice complimentary from the last shop She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her Husbands's condition.
The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit!

It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And you'll now be his carer!"
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.
The doctor then chuckled and said, "I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead.
>>What'd you buy?"

Just follow the instructions and Simpsonize Yourself!

[nothing!]

IRRITATING PASSENGERS SEATED NEXT TO YOU ON A PLANE

If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you follow these instructions:

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up.
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes, tilt your head up to the sky & move your lips as if praying.
6. Then hit this link
Here

This 'conversation' is old, and some of you might have seen it and some others might haven't, but I decided to post it and have a laugh with you people.

This is creepy!
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Think of a letter between
A and W
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Repeat it
out loud as
you scroll down
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Keep going
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Don't stop
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Think of an
animal
that begins
with that letter
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Repeat it
out loud
as you
scroll down
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Think of either
a man's or a woman's
name
that
begins
with the
last letter
in the
animal's name
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Almost
there
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Now
count out
the letters
in that name
on the fingers
of the hand
you are not
using to
scroll down
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Take the
hand you
counted with
and hold it out
in front of you
at face level
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Look at your
palm
very closely
and
notice
the
lines
on
your
hand
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Do the lines
take the
form of the
first letter
in the
persons name?
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Of course they
F****ing
don't !
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Now smack
yourself in the head,
and get a life .............

No need for words, just check it.

http://users.telenet.be/leukelinks/flash/queen.htm

The perfect man and woman

click here!