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[Messi fu.cked asses yesterday again? His skills are better than the best soccer players' skills combined altogether!!!]

We fuc-we fuc.k the whores
And when we have no money left
we fuc.k the ARIans mothers.

Hitting stores this summer near you!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SXNAtwYMBw&feature=player_embedded

-Nooo, Nooo
-At Sunday can you?
-Nooo, Nooo
And you people of ARIS go fuck you.

On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to
afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
nearly$1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for the more than
three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied
and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash! and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

http://zetki.mybrute.com/

EFFECTIVE April 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

Are you worried about people snooping on you while you're surfing the web?

Maybe you're at an office and the IT department has locked down your favorite time sucking website. Or maybe you're at the airport, or a coffee shop. Or more so, maybe you're living in China and a site you frequent has landed on the government's list of no-no sites. In that case, what would you do?

Enter Hotspot Shield by AnchorFree. It's a little application that frees you from firewalls and content censorship. It even allows you to watch Hulu outside of the U.S.

For those who already know of HotSpot shield, you may know that it displays a little ad on your browser--but it's easily disabled. However, a small ad is a tiny price to pay to able to reach the content you want, when you want, where you want.

Check out the little app here.

Hotspot Shield (3.24 MB)

A new teacher was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"

"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."

Embarrassed, she drops the eraser when she turns around, so she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out belly from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over

A man, seeking to join the police is being interviewed.

The Inspector says: ‘Your qualifications are good, but there is an aptitude test that you must pass before you can join.’ Sliding a pistol across the desk, he says: ‘Take this pistol, then go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six druggies and a rabbit.’

The applicant asks, ‘Why a rabbit?’

‘When can you start?’ replies the Inspector.

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid", replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."