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this is neat. i like the way you bold your dialouge: it makes it easier to read. good descriptors, great character development. nice job. keep going.

live action: Let's think for a moment; how would a person do Heartless? how about Axel's hair? that sticks up a good foot from his head. and Larxene's got those antenna things.

aminated: Probably best choice out of the three. familiar, popular, common, and all of the characters are pre-designed. no conversions to cosplay or little puppets.

puppetry: I think rho meant puppetry in nightmare before christmas style. that was puppetry. it might work, but i don't reccomend it. the down grade in graphics is equivalent to the downgrade from motorcycle to tricycle.

Chapter 2
Ten Years Away and an Interlude​

Lesumax opened his eyes and stood, his black cloak rustling. Ten years had passed, yet his face was untouched by time, a common fate of those whose hearts have left them. He turned to his equally timeless sisters and spoke, for the first time in quite awhile, for there was nothing to say. “Sisters, the time has come. Master has ordered the Sins to set actions in motion. Darkside is attacking the islands, forcing them into the darkness. The children have separated”

“I see it Brother. One light has hidden within another, while the last has darkened.” Loxare closed her eyes, seeing the past behind her sight. “The one the Sins can't control spoke with one of the children, not but a day ago.”

Laxan turned her still-sightless eyes from the pool and spoke, her voice different than what it had been, slightly deeper with more expression. “Partially. You are right, but the methods will be different than what had occurred. Do not forget, the past may repeat, but the future is always changing.”

“Yes Sister.” Loxare bowed her head to her sister's wisdom.

“We must speak with the Master. He wants to know the status of his plan.” Lesumax opened the door and started down the hall, his sisters following close behind.

“Can he not ask the Sins for this?” Loxare hurried to catch up, for she was always being left behind.

“He knows that they will not be as accurate as us, for they cannot see anywhere, at anytime.” He made a quick scan of the hall behind him. “Is Laxan coming?” he inquired of his younger sister.

“She is coming,” was the reply.

When they reached the Heart Master's room, they nearly ran into -10, Sloth, who was, for some inexplicable reason, the Master's messenger. “Oh, I was just coming to look for you!” He seemed to be slightly frazzled at being preempted and didn't notice that he was blocking the door.

“Which is why we are here now. If we had waited, based on past experience, we wouldn't see you for another three days.” Loxare stated bluntly, “Now move so we may enter the Master's office.”

Silently, Sloth moved aside and the three entered Master's study. The room was dimly lit, with no walls, just bookshelf upon bookshelf of books, journals, research papers and boxes. The counter tops were filled with beakers, test tubes and strange, bubbling, or in some cases, smoking concoctions. The Master's desk was the only thing uncluttered, holding only a lamp and the paper the Master was currently working on.

“Excellent, you're here. I was worried I wouldn't see you for quite awhile longer. What do you have to report?”

Loxare stood up first. “Master, phase one of your plan was successful, except for one thing. The princess lost her heart and it is now residing in the boy, Sora. Riku has fallen to the darkness, as you had predicted. The puppets still think that they will win, but if Sora continues on his present path, they will fall.” She continued on, stating what every one of the puppets had done recently, as well as mentioning seemingly irrelevant information, and finished by saying, “Master, Sora has gained new allies, not five minutes ago, as you anticipated. The path has been set.” She sat back down, finished.

“Excellent. Anything to add Laxan?”

Laxan didn't stand, but rather delivered her report while sitting.“The path is wide and the chances the boy will take it are high, but not total. At this stage, he could still be stopped, for he lacks skill.”

“Fine, I'll remedy that. Any insights to offer, Lesumax?”

Lesumax replied quietly. “No, Master. That is the extent of our report at this point.”

The Heart Master sat back in his high-backed chair, and contemplated the mission he was about to give the Fates. Since the creation of the Organization, both Positive and Negative, the Fates had never left this world; they hardly ever left their rooms. He hadn't let them. “Alright then. I have a mission for you. It is not the usual 'finding something of value that a Negative has lost'. Oh no. I would like you to go to Traverse Town and meet this Sora and keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn't die prematurely.” He smiled. “Do not forget our deal, nor what will happen if you betray me. If you are recognized by someone from your past, it will mean the worst for you. Be careful. Make sure you meet no one from when you were whole. You may have changed you appearances, but not enough to fool someone who has known you for a long time. Do not disappoint me.” His chilly demeanor vanished as he smiled. “Other than that, have fun in your outing.”

The Fate of the Present stood at once and started protesting, at the mission, at the conditions and at the obviousness of their dress. Loxare sat back in her chair, caught in the memory of the time she had tried to escape and what her punishment had been afterwards. Laxan did nothing.

“No arguments. You will go on the mission, you don't have to like the conditions, just follow them and as for your clothes? Talk to -8, Greed. He's gotten into sewing lately, something about the stores not having what he wanted, so I asked him to make you something. Loxare, don't look like that, you won't be punished for leaving, only for being recognized. And Laxan? Next time, warn your siblings. Now go. I need to finish this paper.”

Grumbling only slightly, they went to do as bid. As it turned out, Greed did not have an outfit for them. He had a wardrobe for them; one each. They chose some clothes that weren't too outrageous and noticeable and went into the change rooms that Greed had also made.

When they finished changing, Loxare was wearing a white skirt over top of blue jeans and a red long-sleeved shirt with black edging. Lesumax was wearing camouflage pants, steel-toed boots, black t-shirt and a grey zip-up hoody. Laxan wore a long red dress, a short sweater and a white hat, pulled low over her eyes. They opened a dark pathway to Traverse Town and stepped through.

***​

“Look, look, Lesu! Did you ever see anything so lively?” Loxare, having already adapted to the new mission and the slight freedom it imposed, was having the time of her not-quite life, and had started using her pet name for Lesumax, something she only did on those rare occasions when she was completely, rapturously happy. Or drunk.

“I'm glad you're having fun, Loxare,” Lesumax smiled, sharing his sister's joy, “but keep it down. You're attracting attention.”

Being out of the castle seemed to be good for the triplets. Even Laxan was smiling slightly, caught up in the near future, instead of the darker future that laid further ahead. So far, they had not seen the boy, Sora, but according to Laxan, he and his friends would be coming here soon, to seek advice from a man named Cid. They just had to wait, so they settled down in a cafe and ordered drinks, using some munny they had found in their pockets, a reminder of their creation.

After their drinks were finished and Loxare had started to snooze, Lesumax turned his face to the town gates. “They're here.” Sure enough, a few seconds later, the gate opened and three people entered, whose names, the Fates knew from the mission description, were Sora, Donald and Goofy. They walked straight across the square, chatting happily and entered a building called Cid's Mechanics. As the door closed, Loxare, Lesumax and Laxan stood, walking straight towards the building. They got there just as the door opened again, and Sora and his friends ran right into the Fates, knocking everyone to the ground.

“Are you okay?” Sora asked worriedly, jumping up. He helped Laxan up, while Goofy help Lesumax up. Donald was having a little trouble getting Loxare up, as she seemed perfectly content watching the stars from her new vantage point. “I'm so sorry, we should have been watching where we were going.”
“It's fine,” Lesumax said, smiling, “we're just as much to blame.”

Sora smiled, happy that they were uninjured. “I'm Sora.”

“Donald.”

“Goofy.”

“Nice to meet you. We're Ari, Max and Anna.” Loxare performed the introductions eloquently, using fake names they had decided upon earlier. “Where are you from?”

Sora hesitated slightly, then smiled. “Here and there. We've been travelling for the past couple of weeks. How about you?”

Before one of the three could make up some lie, a tall blonde man, who they immediately took to be Cid, banged open the door to the shop. “What're you doin' standin' around out here for? You're drivin' away good business! Scat!” And then he saw the triplets. Stunned, he stared at them. “What? Hey aren't you...”

Quick as one who knew this might happen could, Laxan opened a dark path below her and her siblings' feet, which brought them too the top of Cid's shop, so that they could see how their sudden disappearance affected the people below. Already, all three could feel a thick seed of dread blooming in their stomachs at the thought of the Master's punishment. They ignored it and listened.

“Where did they go?” Donald said, obviously confused.

Sora asked, “Did you know them Cid?”

Cid was still staring at the spot where the triplets had been standing. He shook his head, as if to clear away his confusion. “I-I'm not sure,” his voice was still unsteady from shock, “I think so. I'm pretty sure that they used to live on my world, before it got destroyed, but that was years ago.” Cid smiled. “What am I thinking? Just because they looked similar, doesn't mean that they're the same person. I do wonder why they disappeared like that though. Not to mention how.”

They parted, Sora and his friends going towards the main gate, Cid going back into his shop. When all were gone, the triplets looked at each other and said, calmly and in unison, “Master is going to kill us.”

***

One week later​

“Glad that's finally over with,” Lesumax stated, his calm exterior belying his real not-quite emotions, as he walked back into the rooms.

Loxare ambled in unsteadily after him. “Why do Master's punishments always take this long?”

Already sitting in her chair, Laxan simply replied, “To make the lesson stick longer, Sister dear.” Her voice was different again, hitting soprano without even trying.

Lesumax leaned against the wall and stared into the corner. “Besides, we were lucky. Remember what happened to Greed when he stole the Master's research papers?”

Loxare blanched. “You're right. I don't think I've seen him for over three months.” She paced to the pool, her brother following. “Now, what did we learn on our little outing? Besides the problems with disobeying Master?”

Her brother answered first, “This trip pretty much confirmed what we already knew from our wanderings through time and all of the reports Master has been sending us. We already knew that Sora was as kind as a person can get, so that was nothing new. Appearance, personality, current strength, we knew all of that already.” He paused, considering the details. “The only thing we didn't know, was that there were survivors from when our world was destroyed. We haven't been paying much attention to it.”

“True. It would probably be a good idea to extend our views, watch more than one thing. It will be inconvenient, and no where near as accurate, but it must be done.” Loxare sat by the edge of the pool as she said this.

Laxan smiled at her sister's thoughts. “Yes, we must watch more than one place at a time. Lesumax should keep monitoring the boy. Loxare can watch everything else.”

“What?! Why me?”

Lesumax answered, as Laxan didn't seem too interested in doing so, “Because, Sister, I can only see things the moment they happen. If I shift from one place to another, I'll lose my concentration and the image will break. I can't be in two places at once. You see things as they have happened, which enables you to watch an entire scene, then watch a different scene that occurred at the same time.”

She agreed, although reluctantly. Then, her head shot up and she said, “What about that Cid guy? When did we meet him?”

Lesumax frowned and thought before replying, “I don't know. My memories as a whole person are hazy; probably due to length of time. It has been over years since we've been whole.”

Loxare turned her face towards her brother, “Wrong. Our Heartless made off with some of our memories when we were created. It doesn't happen often anymore because Heartless aren't as crafty as they used to be. They're all instinct these days.”

“I suppose so.” Lesumax walked back to the wall and slid down it until he was in a cross-legged sitting position. “Let's start watching.”



this chapter was lighter than the others because Sora was featured in it. sora tends to brighten things with his optimism. details about the Negative Organization will come in a few chapters. please be patient.
Story by Loxare.

Wow, you're an amazing writer. i dont know why you said this was unoriginal. nice job with the ven reference. namine's outfit seems interesting. is there any reason why she changed it?
all in all, an excellent read. keep going with this please.

Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Before the Beginning​

Loxare walked quickly down the hall. She could see the things that had just happened, as they were in her realm, and she didn't like them one bit. Her brother would be furious if she dawdled. She brushed a red-brown ringlet out of her currently red eyes back into her hood, which she always kept up. Her round face show none of her usual contentment. There was no room for it behind the tension.

“Brother, have you seen?” She slammed open the doors as she always did, and always will, for the past cannnot change. “Have you seen what Master was doing?”

“I see as he is doing Loxare, you know that. It disturbs me.” His green eyes narrowed. Lesumax's anxiety could be seen in every fiber of his being, from his black boot clad feet to the tips of his straight white hair. He glanced at his other sister, Laxan, sitting in the corner. “My sister, what will happen?” His expression wasn't hopeful though, because Laxan never spoke the future. Even when she did speak, he wasn't quite surprised.

“Things may and may not happen brother, but they are of no importance. The pawns move as we direct, though not for much longer. Things will turn to the worst for the future Positives. They will think that they are winning, but they will be wrong. We should focus more on the past.” Her dull grey eyes, always locked on the future, and shadowed by the same hood that covered her crimson hair, moved towards Loxare. “Tell us sister, what has happened that will be needed?” Her head turned back to the tarot cards she kept in front of her, flipped one over and frowned.

Loxare closed her eyes and threw herself into the vast reaches of the past, the images sorting themselves out to fulfil her sisters request. “An end. A beginning. Searching. Union. Betrayal. Sorrow. Anger. Hope. Victory. Lost. Found. War. Peace.” She opened her eyes and walked over to the massive chessboard she kept in the room. It was a strange chessboard, triangular in shape, with three colors on it. White, black and grey. She shifted some of the white pieces, removed a few grey and black pieces, then shifted the remaining colors until they were right. “It is not yet time for us to join the game. If we do, we will fall, like so many before us. This new creation however...”

Lesumas sniffed disdainfully. “Like I said, I do not like it. The Master should have at least asked before he took a piece of us. And not just us. The Sins and the Balance as well.” He gripped his chest, which still hurt even months after the Master's intrusion. “The Sins probably didn't even notice, and the Balance don't care, but he knew we would notice and care.”

“You know he sees us as tools brother.” Loxare smiled, “As long as I receive what he promised, I have no quarrels.” She looked at the pool of water next to Laxan. “Let us confer.”

The three siblings stood from their places and walked towards the pool.

***​

The Balance of 2, as different as they were, stood holding hands while the Heart Master created his final follower. Kuro, his lightless eyes, turned to look at his darker twin. Shiro's blanched eyes met his gaze. Both pale, Kuro's hair and clothing were white, while Shiro's were black. Simultaneously, they turned back to watch the Master. They watched as he carefully grabbed a few vials, which contained parts of the twelves' hearts; except for the Fates, for they had no hearts. So he had tracked down their Heartless and used those instead. He used them as leverage so that he could gain some of their Nobody essences. He had also managed to capture the essence of the Unversed before they had vanished, just weeks prior.

The twins stood where they were told, as their Keyblades were needed for this procedure. When the Master motioned, they summoned their Keyblades, Kuro's black, Shiro's white, still holding hands. They raised them in one graceful movement and a beam of light came from the tips. They went as directed and unlocked the restrictions on the follower's newly made heart. Slowly, he opened his eyes. As he rose into a sitting position, an unusual symbol showed on his bare chest. It was a combination of the Heartless, Nobody and Unversed symbols, with a Keyblade going crosswise down the center. His staring gold-and-silver eyes held no emotion, a reflection of an incomplete heart. He pulled the shirt Kuro handed him over his black-and-silver hair. He turned blank eyes onto the Heart Master.

“What do you bid, Master?” His inflection-less voice intoned. “How shall I serve?”

The Master bent over slightly and placed his hand on his creation's head. “For now, just learn, and always know.” His voice was warm, but a blind man could have seen the cold, calculating interior his voice hid. He straightened up and smiled. “You shall be known as the Heart of 1, for you have been created from all. Kuro, Shiro. Teach him about the Keyblade and everything else that he might need to know. I shall expect to hear of his progress in three weeks time. I trust that he will be ready for use by then.” The Master then cocked his head slightly, as if remembering something. “Oh, and I shall need to see the Fates in an hour. I need to know if they have seen anything new. That shall be all.” He walked away, barely hearing the Balance's affirmation of his orders.

***​

“Master has finished it I see. This could be troublesome, Sisters.” Lesumax opened his eyes as he released Loxare and Laxan's hands. “Whatever shall we do?”

“Don't lie Brother,” Loxare chastised, “you know you're enjoying the excitement. I feel joyous myself, even if I don't like the way he always uses us.”

Laxan sat back down in her chair next to the pool and gazed into its' waters. “He needs us in an hour. I suggest that we get ready.” She turned sightless gaze onto her siblings. “Do not fret, dear Siblings. The next ten years shall be quite uneventful. We should use this time to prepare for the war Loxare has seen.”

With those ominous closing words, the triplets continued to analyze the past, present and future until they were called to see the Master. However, they only mentioned that which the Master was interested in, which didn't include events of ten years away, nor events of years long past, nor the children living on a secluded island, far across the worlds.


Written by Loxare. Sam didn't help.

this is neat. what is the current condition of docyx's body? does he know? keep going

eragon currently. ive actually lost track of how many times ive read it, but hey, thats short term memory loss for ya. other than that....... naruto, bleach, one piece, psyren, tegami bachi, 07 ghost, d.n.angel, d.gray-man, i.n.v.u, kare:first love, gun hip rose (or something), psycho busters, switch, ect, ect, ect. yes. i actually cant name them all.

yes i am. i just need my story ideas guy to give me the rest of the story. i could probably figure it out on my own, but then hed get all angry ect ect ect. but it WILL BE FINISHED!!!

hey DF. i dont mean to rush you or anything, but its been 6 months since the last post. please dont stop writing.

wow, nice one. i cant wait to find out whos talking in the prologue. oooo keep writing please! this one is good, i dont want it to drop off into forgottenness.

your descriptors are very good. like this part

one thing i noticed:

the first 2 sentences dont quite flow right. im sorry, im being nit picky, you dont have to fix it or anything. i just needed to mention it.

hey, what would be the point of havign an Incredibles world? they're superheroes. couldn't they solve their own problems? i realize that in KH2 Roxas couldn't beat the Dusks without the Keyblade, but if you think of all the allies, none of them had any Keyblades, except Riku, and they pounded the Heartless pretty good.

true, but in kh 1&2, atlantis kept the realism in the fact that swiming is difficult without fins of some sort, even if the magic took that in the most literal form

i dont know if you know this, but heavy suits of armor arent the best things to swim in, what with the water resistance and all

hey, this is cool. a xion diary. sweet. ^-^ i like it. please continue. if you want creative advice, here it is. please try to put a larger space in between diary entries. it will make it easier to understand. thank you.

(yay first reply ^-^)

i am reading the night angel series and OMG!!!!! it is so good. i am addicted to that series. seriously. i read the first one, the way of the shadows, and i was practically vibrating, i wanted the second book so bad. and now that im done that one, i am currently vibrating for the third. its about

Spoiler

this kid, Azoth, whos a guild rat, so hes a thief. anyway, he wants a better life, so he goes to the citys best wetboy (its like an assassin but better), Durzo Blint, who re-names Azoth as Kylar Stern and takes him as his apprentice.

honestly, if your ever in the mood for a good book, read this. its awesome. shutting up now

onemanga has the first 4 plus chapter zero

they probably did, but that's not stopping fan-people from translating it and sticking it on the internet.