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Keep going!!!!! you have a few punctuation issues, and you definately need to finish that last sentence. ^-^ other than that, the sentence structure is good, the plot is interesting and the descriptors are decent, but inconsistent.

i didnt really try to. i mean , i did fight him, and i did try to win, but i didnt try over and over again. if i won, great, if i didnt, oh well.

did they even have double acting in kingdom hearts? i'm pretty sure all of the characters have thier own voice actors.

you dont really have to worry about this too much. the 3DS isnt coming out until next march, which is plenty of time for the DSi to become 'obsolete'. i myself wish it would come out sooner. my L and R buttons stopped working and i dont really want to upgrade to the DSi when im going to have to update it again in march.

for the screen size.

also, i dont know if anyones mentioned this yet but, heres a quote from the new interview about the 3DS.

that kinda says it

Here's the new chapter. Written by Loxare. Ideas by Sam. Once again, I could use some comments on how to improve my writing.

Chapter 5

The World that Never Was​

In the fourth conference room, Xemnas stood, prepared to wait for however long he needed to for an audience with the Negative organization. He had never met any of them, only the Heart Master, but he had heard rumors, passed along from the Heartless, to the inferior Nobodies, to him. From what he had heard, they had all been experimented on by the Heat Master to make them stronger, or smarter. He wasn't sure if this was true or not however. Heartless aren't good sources of information.

As he was thinking this, the room was suddenly filled with door to the dark pathways. The Heart Master emerged first, the other thirteen almost simultaneously after him. Xemnas' first reaction to their appearance was slight shock. He had heard that there were Heartless in the Negative Organization, so where were they. He calmed quickly however. The Heart Master would explain.

The Heart Master held out his arms to Xemnas as the rest of the group sorted themselves into four groups. “Xemnas! How have you been? It's been a while hasn't it? You look just as conniving as ever. Welcome to the Abyss Fortress! Let me introduce you to Negative Organization XIII. Here we have the Fates, Nobodies like your self, Lesumax, Laxan and Loxare. Here's the Sins, all seven of them Heartless, Wrath, Gluttony, Envy, Greed, Pride, Lust and Sloth. Or, if you prefer, Hexst, Rilk, Vera, Gil, Richard the Third, Mai and Kai. These two are the Balances, Kuro and Shiro. And over here is the Heart of One, my greatest creation. You may call him Heart. Ah, it is so good to see you again.” He enclosed Xemnas is a large embrace.

When he was released, Xemnas smiled, a smile which didn't reach his eyes. Here was a Nobody who obviously didn't try to feel his previous emotions. “It is a pleasure to meet all of you. I am Xemnas, leader of Organization XIII.” It was no mistake for him to leave out the 'Positive'. “I hope you have taken serious regard to my request?”

The Heart Master smiled as well, fully aware of what Xemnas was doing. “Of course we have! Do you doubt us? We still have not decided, as you interrupted us just before we did.” This lie was supposed to make Xemnas uneasy, but it didn't work, or if it did, he didn't show it. That could have been because unease was an emotion, which Xemnas didn't have. “Now if you'll excuse us, we would like to finish our meeting. Come along, children.”

He opened a portal and gestured that they go through.

The portal brought them to one of the secret rooms near the fourth conference room, which was wired with hidden cameras and microphones. Those cameras and microphones led to this room. The thirteen watched and listened to whatever Xemnas was doing. Eventually a dark pathway appeared, disappearing to reveal Number II, Xigbar.

“Hey Superior. How have you been? You never told me about this place.” He started examining the room, with it's black floors, grey walls and white furniture. “I've never been here before.”

Xemnas turned to glare at him, but said nothing. After a while, when Xigbar had explored the entirety of the room he spoke, “Now leave.”

Xigbar looked up from the plant in the corner, which a few of the smarter Heartless had been nurturing. “As if! Why would I leave? I want to explore...” He broke off at the expression on Xemnas' face, “Ah... Sure thing, Superior!” And with that, he stepped through a dark pathway and out of sight.

“Time to go children. Back to the conference room” The Heart Master seemed pleased by Xigbar's intrusion.

They decided to walk, as it wasn't too far to go. On their way there, Greed and Pride, who were very good friends, started playing rock paper scissors, while Envy and Lust got into a discussion about stealth. A few steps away from the door, the Master gestured for silence, which was immediate and absolute. He opened the door.

“Xemnas, dear friend! I am pleased to tell you that we have decided to agree to your request. You must go right away to tell the Positive Organization the good news. Go, go! Oh wait,” Xemnnas stopped, as he was in the process of creating a dark pathway, which faded away, “I would like you to take Lesumax, Laxan and Loxare with you. They so rarely get out of the castle. It would be good experience. Oh, and have you heard anything from your other half?”

"No, Heart Master."

"A pity. Carry on then."

The Fates didn't react to this surprise announcement. They just stepped forward and created their own dark pathways to The World That Never Was. Xemnas recreated his and they stepped through, into a grey wedge-shaped room, with large windows filling one curving wall. There were a few couches in the room, as well as three black-cloaked Nobodies. They stood up at the appearance of their Superior and the three strangers. One was Xigbar, while the other two, the Fates knew from their watching, were named Axel and Saïx.

Axel strode forward. “Superior. We weren't expecting you for quite a while. Who're these people?”

Xemnas said nothing, simply warping out of the room. The Fates were left to do their own introductions. Lesumax stepped up, waving an arm to each of them as he said their names. “I am Lesumax, Number -1 of the Negative Organization XIII. These are my sisters, -2, Laxan and -3, Loxare, of the same Organization.”

Axel started. “The Superior never told us that there was a Negative Organization. Oh well. I'm Axel and this is Xigbar and Saïx, numbers VIII, II and VII respectively. Got it memorized?” His tone was incredibly disrespectful, but the Fates ignored it. “May I say, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He caught Loxare's hand and brushed it gently with his lips. Lesumax was there instantaneously, pushing his sisters behind him and preparing to summon his weapon.

Axel stepped back a few steps, holding his hands in front of him in an attempt to levy Lesumax's obvious rage. Lesumax, being the oldest, was very protective of his sisters, and didn't like anyone touching them. He perceived it as a threat and always acted accordingly.

Eventually, he relaxed his guard and uttered a brief apology at his reaction. Axel accepted it, then offered to give them a tour of the castle.

Laxan looked up from the folds of her hood and spoke in a rich baritone, “I wouldn't advise it at present. We should wait for another five minutes.”

Lesumax smiled at his sister. “Then we wait. May we sit?” The Positives shuffled around the couches until all three of the Fates were sitting.

Axel was the first to break the silence. “So what's the Negative Organization? When was it created?”

Loxare looked back to the present, as she had been looking into the past. “We are an assortment of Nobodies, Heartless, Keybladers and one other, who have all been experimented in at one time or another by the Heart Master. I do not know when it was created, but it was definitely before we joined.” She smiled at Axel's expression, which told her that she had created more questions than she had answered.

Axel was confused, but Xigbar got to the questions he wanted to ask first, “When was that? And what did you mean by experimented on?”

Lesumax answered this time. “We joined the Organization about a decade ago and by experimented, we mean altered in some way to make us different. Stronger or special in some way. The Sins, for example, have personalities.”

This information was like a bombshell to the listening Organization members, as well as the ones who had walked into the Grey Room while they were talking. Numbers IX, IV, and XI, or Demyx, Vexen and Marluxia, paused in their doings. The silence broke when Vexen's curiosity flared up.

“Really? How did he manage to do that? What were the effects? Do you know? What modifications did he perform on you three? Are there any other members? Did he alter them too?” He continued to rattle off increasingly scientific questions until Laxan stood.

“It's time to go. Axel, if you would lead the way?” Her voice was an alto again.

Axel stumbled out of his chair, still in slight shock of the triplets' news. “Sure. Now as you will notice as we exit the Grey Room....”

i never saw that movie, and i dont think i want to.

animated or cgi would be the only options that would suit the series. if they make a movie of simply every cutscene mushed together, well, then khv already made that movie.

it could have also been because sora was sleeping in the castle.

Chapter 4

A Meeting​

Sora entered Cid's shop, without Donald and Goofy, who were shopping.

Sora leaned against the counter casually and Cid came over, curious about the blank expression on Sora's face.

“Cid? You know those triplets you thought you knew?” He spoke calmly although a blind man could see the betrayal etched on his every feature.

“Ya?”

“They're immersed in darkness.”

The shop went quiet as Cid absorbed this.

***​

After they reported, the Fates went back to their rooms. Loxare went to her corner of the room, laid down on the floor and started at the ceiling. She was quiet.

An hour later, Lesumax finally went to his sister. “What are you doing?”

“Seeing the past. I'm currently grazing over the sixth Keyblade War. Why?” Her eyes flickered to him for a second before returning to the ceiling.

He sat next to her and, rather than answer the question, said, “It's your own fault you know. You didn't have to tell him.”

She turned to the wall. “Yes I did. Master said I did.”

Lesumax looked at her, surprised. “He did? When?”

“Just before we left, he pulled me aside. I wasn't allowed to tell you, but Laxan knew anyways. He swore her to secrecy as well. You were busy seeing where Sora was at that moment.” Her voice was slightly muffled because she had flopped her arm over her face.

Lesumax stared at his sister for a long moment, then pulled her into a sitting position and leaned her against the wall. “My poor sister. It's hard enough for us to make friends but more so for you, and so it hurts you many times more when you lose one than when we do.” She nodded silently, a few small tears coursing down her face. “Dear sister.”

Laxan went to sit on the other side of Loxare and together, they sat out the eternal dawn, comforting their sister until her tears dried and she faded into sleep.

***

A while later, Lesumax was right in the middle of seeing Sora meet Riku, who then stole control of the Keyblade, when Sloth came into the room in his human form. The Seven Sins were able to do this because, years ago, the Heart Master had tracked down their Nobodies and ripped them apart, body and soul. They then had merged with their bodies and put the detached souls into cold storage; this was done to gain immense power. They were still technically Heartless though, as the Heart Master kept insisting, and no one was stupid enough to say otherwise.

In his human form, Sloth had short black hair, purple eyes and tan skin. While his appearance wouldn't raise any eyebrows, it did draw a certain amount of eyes in his direction. Every time he went on missions, girls swooned and women fainted, but he never noticed. Too lazy.

“Hey guys. I'm here to call you all to a meeting.” His words came from his mouth sloppily, like he was just waking up.

Lesumax came back from the far off present, and came back to the closer present. “And when was this meeting supposed to take place?” Even though Laxan had told him already.

Sloth shuffled uneasily. “Well... Master told me it was to be... yesterday at noon.”

Loxare returned to the present and moved some pieces on her chess board around. “Excellent. We still have a few minutes then.” The Master tended to give Sloth the wrong times, so that everyone would show up on time. “Let's go now, so that we're not overly late.”

They opened a portal to the meeting room, a circular room with grey walls, thirteen black chairs and one large white one, for the Master. It wasn't the same as the Positive Organization's meeting room because all of the chairs were normal height from the ground and the obsidian table in the center was tall enough for the members to put things onto, like notes, the Master's latest experiment or Sloth's black clad boots. The only similarity was that there was no door, for the Master didn't want anyone who was not of the Negative Organization to enter the room. The Positives didn't know the room existed.

The Sins were all in their human forms, displaying their various traits and colors:, for each Sin had a different favorite color. Each of their cloaks was charcoal with trim suited to each of their colors, designed by Greed, who abhorred the plain black style of the usual cloaks. They had also chosen to take names separate from their titles.

Wrath, who took his Nobody name, Hexst, had his cloak buttoned up tight, a shiny silver pin on his lapel displaying his status as Head of Security, and kept his red hair cut short. Being number -4, and head of the Sins had many responsibilities, but many rewards as well.

Gluttony, who was also known as Rilk, kept her cloak loosely draped over her ironically flat stomach, had orange eyes and was the source of the marvellous food placed on the table. She has been known to slip various poisons into the food however, so a not-person must be careful of their meals.

Envy, or Vera, as she like to be called, kept her cloak slightly open to show a yellow shirt, which matched her blonde hair and yellow eyes, kept shyly at the table. She commanded those Heartless whose sole duty in life was to listen and report - in other words, the spies – and was the source of most of the information that flooded into the castle at any time.

Greed, who was also called Gil, was dressed impeccably in a green suit, surveyed the horrendous matching dress of the other, non-Heartless members and shuddered, his green eyes and hair shivering with the movement. As tailor, he had an impeccable fashion sense and distaste for anything that wasn't of 'this season'.

Pride, who was named, in his life as a whole being, Richard III, was sitting tall, his chin up, blue eyes facing forward, silver hair slicked back into perfection. What he was the third of, and where the first two went, he never told, keeping any stories of his past life to himself.

Lust, or Mai, wore a quite revealing, hot pink dress, made by Greed, under her black cloak, gazed at Kuro, whom she had been chasing after for quite a while, through half-lidded, indigo eyes, shaded by long, pink bangs. Despite her name, she wasn't much of a seductress, preferring to stick to her one vice, sadism.

Sloth, who preferred to be called Kai, had his night cap on, a jester's hat with purple pompoms on the end and was sleeping at the table. True to his title, he was the laziest member of the Negative Organization, perhaps even the Positive Organization as well. However, this has never been tested, so any and all data concerning this subject is inconclusive.

Eventually, all of the Negatives entered the room and took their places. It started with Number -1, Lesumax, on the Master's right and ended with Number -13, Heart, on the Master's left.

The Master stood from his chair and addressed the people of various states of completion in front of him, “My children,” for that was what he saw them as, “as you already know, the leader of the Positive Organization XIII has been asking us for several months for assistance. He wants us to share some of our knowledge in combat and tactics with his newer members. I would like to hear your thoughts on this matter.” He sat down and waited for a response.

Mai's hand shot up immediately, bouncing up and down as she tried to get his attention, saying repeatedly, “Ooh!!! Pick me! Pick me! I have something to say!”

Hexst, ignoring Mai, stood up and said, to Mai's complete disappointment, “Which members are we going to train, Master?”

The Heart Master smiled at the comment. “Ah, so you picked up on that did you? Yes, they want us to train Numbers IX through XII. They also wish to send Numbers IV and VI for information about how to gather intelligence. Number I will also come to meet me on a private matter. He wishes to meet all of you, so I expect you to all to behave. That means you Lust. No seducing the trainees.”

Mai stopped in her childish bouncing and smiled seductively. “Oh Master. You know me better than that. I only tease.” This got a laugh from the Nobodies, as they knew she meant torture. Mai's sadism was no secret. She smiled again.

The Master glared at her. “Save it for the prisoners, Lust. Any other thoughts? Fates?”

Laxan looked up and said in an alto, “It is better that we agree. It will increase their chances while at the same time, making things just that much harder for the Keyblade Master.”

Lesumax followed his sisters comment with something the Fates had been discussing before the meeting, “They're close to being ready, they just need a little help to refine their techniques. Numbers XI and XII are especially close. This shouldn't take more than a few weeks. They will have to push themselves though. But because they have heart, it shouldn't be a problem.”

The Heart Master smiled. “Excellent. Then Lust, you will train Numbers XII and XI. Their personalities should work well with yours and I know you can handle it.” Mai smiled at the thought of something interesting to do. “Sloth, you train Number IX. Pride, I want you to train Number X. He's just about as skilled as he's going to get, I just want you to refine his techniques.” He stopped to check his experiment, which was boiling over onto the table, melting it. He turned down the heat then continued, “Numbers IV and VI. I'll leave them to you, Envy, since you're best at information gathering. The Fates will help. Now, the next order of business. The Seeker of Darkness' Heartless. Wrath, Envy, have either of you found him yet?”

Vera shook her head shyly. “My spies have suspicions that he is wandering the darkness somewhere, but due to the nature of his condition, we haven't been able to locate him.” She paused, nervous about what she was gong to say next, for it was a statement of her own opinion, which she never revealed. “Sir, I'm quite worried about him. If we don't find him quickly, he won't stand a chance. He'll try to control Kingdom Hearts and be destroyed in the process.” Vera stopped then and let Wrath take over.

“As Envy has just stated, we are unsure of his position. My warriors have been searching night and day for him. I believe we have a few prisoners for Lust to interrogate after the meeting,” Mai clapped happily, “but there is word that he is heading towards Hollow Bastion. It is unclear as to why he is going there, but it most likely to confer with Maleficent.” Hexst, finished with his report, sat back in his chair and waited to hear the rest of the meeting.

The Master contemplated this. “Good. Sins, send another three units each to Hollow Bastion just in case he does show up there. Pride, what is our total Heartless count as of noon yesterday?”

“Well sir,” Richard III said formally, “As of noon yesterday, our Heartless range in the hundred thousands. The total number is unknown because most were out in the worlds and the Keyblade Master has been destroying them quite fast. The ones in the castle have been counted however and there are ten thousand here, awaiting orders or on guard.”

“Good, now on to the Keyblade Master. Fates, what is his status?”

Loxare answered, “When we last checked up on him, he had arrived at Hollow Bastion and was battling the other Keyblade Master, the one stained in darkness, for control of the Keyblade. He lost that battle and has been using a wooden sword in battle. He has teamed up with the Prince who is a Beast.”

The Master grinned at a planned well executed. “Good. Give him the easier Heartless until he gets the Keyblade back. As for the Prince, ignore him. He is unimportant at this stage. On to more trivial matters, Gluttony, how is our food supply......?”

The meeting continued on for another hour, as was the nature of meetings, and would have lasted longer if one of Sloth's Heartless messengers hadn't arrived, one knee on the ground. “Pardon my intrusion, Negative Organization. The leader of the Positive Organization, Xemnas wishes an audience with all of you. He says he will wait for as long as it takes to see you. What is your reply?” Message delivered, he bowed his head and waited.

The Heart Master smiled and clapped his hands once as he stood. “Wonderful! I believe we shall go see him right away. Come, my children, let us go and meet Xemnas. Remember to behave and for goodness sake, be polite. Now messenger, where is he waiting?”

“I asked him to wait in the fourth conference room.”

“Good choice. Let's go.” He teleported to the fourth conference room, his subordinates following a few seconds after.


Alright. Chapter 4, written by Loxare, ideas by Sam. once again, does anyone have any comments on how i could improve this?

also, if anyone wants, i can put up something to help categorize the Negatives better. titles, names, numbers, colors and the like.

two ways.

-one: finish 100% of the game in normal mode. that all of the reports, get to the highest level in general, as well as in valor, wisdom, master and final drives. go through the gummi routes again until they're donealso, finish all missions. basically, when your journal is full of those mickey mouse stamp things, youre done. you get a report at the end of the game, after the credits, which tells you how you've done. if any of those isnt perfect, no secret ending for you.

-two: finish the game on hard mode. thats it. just finish the game.

and there you have it. your guide to the secret ending.

it would be interesting to see kingdom hearts in 3D, but i also agree with clawtooth. theres too many games on handhelds, not enough on consoles. i suppose it really depends on which kind of 3D it is. is it the old type, which just had things jab out at you periodically, or is it the new type, like in Alice in Wonderland, which had the entire thing as 3D?

im going to see if i can find the rest of the Forgotten Realms by R.A. Salvatore. if not, i'll probably reread all of the books on my shelf......and my brother's. i'll also reread most of the manga series' ive been reading, including the stuff on the internet. maybe some of the fanfics on this site too. very busy reading schedule.

Chapter 3

Watching​

Sora swung the Keyblade at the chameleon Heartless, while Donald and Goofy attacked the hunter..... Locking the Keyhole.......... Underwater; different forms......... Ariel crying...... Ursula......

Cid mumbling in his shop, brooding over a memory.......... Maleficent speaking with Riku, pushing him into deeper darkness......... Kairi, sleeping, who will not wake until her heart is returned...... Leon, Aerith, Yuffie and Merlin planning their next move.......

Riku becoming not-Riku...... Sora falling to darkness...... Roxas becoming...... Ansem losing....... the Door opening....... Riku and King on one side; Sora and friends on other........ Kairi at home........ a castle...... oblivion....... regaining.......... Roxas returning.......waking.........

One by one, Lesumax, Loxare and Laxan watched their part of the story that is unfolding, that was unfolding, and that will unfold. One by one, they took their pieces of the puzzle, and tried to put them together. One by one, the picture came together, but was no clearer than when they had started. Alas, such was the business of puzzles. Never clear until all the pieces fit. So they decided to go and view up close again.

***

“So, where is he now?” The Heart of 1 asked in his gruff, silent voice. Ever since he was created, he had been under the tutelage of not only Kuro and Shiro, but the Sins and the Fates as well. This, and the many missions he had gone on, helped him to create a personality outside of what the Master expected. The Master wasn't displeased however, as Heart's success rate went up. The Master had decided to send Heart to monitor the triplets and make sure that they weren't seen again, even though the world had been scanned many times for people who might know the Fates.

Flicking a ringlet out of her face, Loxare looked back at Heart, who was walking behind her. “Last we saw, he was in the Halloween world.”

Heart looked up at her. “Is that why we're wearing these stupid costumes?” All four of them were wearing extremely realistic Halloween costumes (made by Greed). Laxan had been dressed in a black cloak, different from the Organization uniform, and was carrying a scythe. Greed had taken advantage of Lesumax's slightly pale skin and made him a vampire, while Loxare was a ghost. Heart was dressed as a very convincing Shadow, something he did not take very well.

Greed, who was listening, as they were still in his room, didn't like his insult any better than Heart liked the costume choice, replied, “Hey! You may be only ten years old, but you were created at age six, so you're technically sixteen. That's old enough to not be cute anymore!” Which led Heart to stick out his tongue at Greed like the ten-year old he was.

“Enough,” Lesumax grabbed Heart by the antenna and started pulling him towards the portal, “You two can argue when we get back. We're on a tight enough schedule as it is.”

“Really?” Heart asked as he attempted to pull his costume out of Lesumax's grip. “Why's that?”

Loxare answered, as Lesumax was already halfway through the portal, “Because we're not sure how long Sora will be in this world. He could leave any minute.” And with that, Heart was pulled into the dark pathways, followed by Loxare and Laxan.

***

“I like this place!”

Lesumax smiled at his sister's renewed enthusiasm, his eyes silver in the moonlight. “You always like the places we go to.” He stopped walking for a moment, thinking, then started again. “I can see why though. We don't get out much.”

Heart popped up indignantly beside him, “What are you talking about? This is your fourth outing!”

“Third actually. That one to Atlantis didn't count because we had to come back immediately.” A slight breathing problem.

"Fourth for Loxare."

"That doesn't count either. it was technically an escape." This was true. Loxare had escaped once many years ago, but had been caught and returned for punishment by the Heartless.

The group was enjoying the sights and sounds (mostly screaming) of Halloween town at its best. The guillotines were polished, the skulls were placed and the pumpkins were carved. In a few days, at Halloween, it was rumored to be even better, with Heartless as the main attraction. Which was one of the reasons why the group was here: to investigate. The other reason was to check on Sora again.

“Hey look, there he is!” Loxare pointed him out, then started with her custom greeting style: very loud with lots of spontaneous waving. Both hands. There was no possible way for Sora to miss her, and he didn't.

He made his way through the crowd, dressed in a very interesting, if indescribable costume. When he reached them he asked incredulously, “Max? Ari? Anna? What are you doing here? This isn't...” He broke off, obviously not wanting to disrupt the world order.

Loxare gave a wide smile and answered in her most innocent, carefree voice, “What does it look like? We're enjoying the festivities! Do you like my costume?” While she modelled her ghost costume for Sora, Heart started to get impatient, and moved out from behind Lesumax, where Sora noticed him.
“Who's this?” Sora smiled at the thought of meeting someone new.

Heart answered before anyone else could and, due to the fact that no one had told him to use a fake name, answered honestly. “My name's Heart. What's yours?”

“Cool! I'm Sora. And this is Donald and Goofy.” Donald, dressed as a Mummy and Goofy, dressed as a type of Frankenstein, came up and shook his hand. Sora turned back to Lesumax, “So how did you guys get here? Do you have a gummi ship?”

“No. We do not have a gummi ship. We have a series of portals connected between a few select worlds, only usable by people who have certification to use it. We just happen to have that certification.” The partial lie slipped off of Lesumax's tongue easier than a fire spell off of Donald's staff.

Sora stared up with wide eyes. “Wow! Could I get certification?”

His answer was immediate, abrupt and provided by Loxare, “No. It is very difficult to get certification, and only certain people can qualify. I can tell just by looking at you that you don't qualify.”

Sora thought for a moment, then asked, “What are the qualifications?” He didn't think they would tell him, but Loxare did, if only to judge his reaction.

“Darkness. Lots of darkness.” It was quiet, imperceptible to anyone farther away from her than Sora was, but Sora heard all the same and reacted quickly. He leaped a good ways away, summoning his Keyblade in the process. Confusion, and the feeling of being betrayed, dominated his face.
Lesumax stepped between this new threat and his sisters, Heart standing next to him, both preparing to summon their own respective weapons. Loxare stopped them and walked towards Sora.

“Does being ruled by darkness mean that I am evil? Does it mean that I should be destroyed? Does it mean Riku should be destroyed?”

He flinched at this. More confusion. He lowered the Keyblade and looked at her, “Ari? What do you mean by that?”

Loxare stopped, far enough away that if he attacked, she could react before getting hit. “He's falling Sora. He's falling into the darkness.” She shook her head at Sora's expression, “Just because I know about this doesn't mean I can stop it. That's your job. I just thought I'd warn you for the next time you see him.” She turned away, heading back to her siblings...

...and stopped when Sora grabbed her sleeve, “What about Kairi? Where's Kairi?”

She looked at the boy clinging to her sleeve with a hopeful expression on his face and sighed. “She's sleeping, and she won't wake up for a long while, unless you can figure out what's wrong with her.” She pulled her sleeve out of his suddenly weakened grasp and went to her siblings, where a dark pathway was waiting for her.

She didn't turn around, for, as the Fate of the Past, she could see everything that happened a few seconds ago. When Sora's knees hit the cobblestones, she was seeing him fall. While he was watching the pathway close, she saw him look up at it. A single tear slid down her cheek.

Laxan said nothing for, as the Fate of the Future, she could see that this moment, a moment of lost trust and sorrow, would haunt her sister as is couldn't do for her. She would never see this scene again, but Loxare would, again and again.


Hello. sorry this took awhile. this fanfic was written by Loxare. Sam helped a little bit. i changed chapter 2 slightly. can you spot the change? please comment so that i can make my work better. ^-^

this is intruiging. i know that alot of people have been wondering at what would happen if you removed the soul instead of the heart. keep this up, and as juicy said, watch your sentences. i personally reccommend typing your story on a word processer then copy and pasting it here. it takes more work, but its worth it.

other than that, this is wonderful. i cant wait to hear more about Genservant.

i adore this series!!! its wonderful! the characters are consistent with the games, its interesting, funny and dramatic with just the right touch of mystery. i cant wait for the next one, but dont rush. you dont have a lot of free time, i realise, but finish when you can. i love this!!!! keep going!!

im in level six right now and am going to take my piano exams again in june. according to my teacher, i have a very creative playing style. oh! speaking of which...... bye now!!!

i really like this. i have a few questions though. how many years after the main kh storyline is this? where's Kairi? and Riku? ok, thats all of them. other than that, spelling and sentence structure, but those have been mentioned already. a very interesting storyline. keep going

draw the wolf, okami or ameterasu or whatever she's called. if not, issun

i'm sorry, i dont remember. when did Roxas go into castle oblivion?

try to get behind him as mich as possible, then attack. he tends to have dark sheild up which blocks most frontal attacks. and be careful, because he limit breaks later in the fight, which is a pro/con thing: yes, hes harder to beat, but it also means that hes almost done.