banned for having an a in the username. thats about as stupid as i can think of right now...
hmmm. ive never done this before. seems like fun! whats the time limit?
you suck!!!!! i dont know what day im starting, i just know its in august. *incomprhensible angry muttering* stupid school system.
i agree 100%. wow, you are a really philosophical person.
cool. congrats
well wishes to your dog. no thunderstorms here, but we did have a whole bunch of them about a month ago. im in grade 12 this year but school starts in august. what sort of sadist starts school in august?
ive got a 40foot engine you can borrow. i was saving it for a space ship so i could target all of the DMV's and take them out from space, but personal vengeance takes priority. just give it back after.
the reason why im picking on your spelling and grammar is because youre not improving on it. seriously, word processors, they really help. and stop being so down on yourself. this story has real potential. if i didnt like the story, i wouldnt have commented on it. i wouldnt even have read it. thats just how i am. simply the fact that im here (taking time i could be using to make saskatoon berry pie) typing this, shows that i do care about the story. now, back to that pie.
Right! i cant really mention anything here that i havent already, but im going to repeat this: use a word processor. youd be surprised how much it helps. not just with spelling, but grammar and sentence structure too.
skip the pillow. if you really need something to sleep on, stuff a pillow case with socks or something.
Wow, this is amazing! again, a few small errors. less than last time actually. if you really want me to point them out for you, ill PM you, but really, i had to look quite a bit for them. OO, did i read that right? karian and #16? Karian and Adriana? whats going on with them. ah, i love plot development!
Terraria? are you serious? i love that game! i wasnt aware there was any plot that could be fanfictionalized. anyways, you wanted tips, here they are: 1. use a word processor. i cant stress this enough. grammatical errors and spelling mistakes are the best way to keep readers away from your story. it could have the greatest plot in the world but never get read because you misspelled 'the'. 2. double space you paragraphs. that may not be how its done in books, but your audience is reading off of a computer screen. an extra space in between your paragraphs not only helps them keep their places, it also helps prevent the headache that a wall of unbroken text inevitably brings on. 3. dont use slang, unless the character his/herself uses it. it causes the reader to think lower of your writing. 'he/she cant use proper language? this is below me!' that sort of thing. that doesnt mean ou dont have to be stiff and formal; most readers prefer a bit of casualness in their reading, makes them feel more comfortable. however, how formal/informal you make it is entirely up to you. 4. have fun. if it isnt fun for you to write, it isnt fun for your readers to read. thats about all that i can think of. cant wait to read it!
there was. you havent heard of the 2 Kairis? in BBS, when Aqua goes to Radiant garden and meets Kairi, when Mickey jumps in, theres 2 Kairis in the screen. one beside Aqua, and one behind her leg. heres a screen shot. View attachment 27850 also, correct me if im wrong, but in KH2, Hollow Bastion, when they thought Goofy was dead, Donald says 'im sorry about the ice cream'. but it wasnt until later, when Maleficent sends them through a dark corridor that they find the ice cream and photo that Riku left for them.
I would totally buy a PSP for that game. very worth it however, if you really cant afford it, just watch the cutscenes. there is literally NO important dialogue that isnt in a cutscene, so theres no holes. id also suggest buying a used PSP. chances are, itll still work, its just that someone else played it for awhile. make sure you get a new memory card, or delete the previous owners data tho'.
her personal one. but she didnt really abandon it, she just made it (and her armor) take Terranort back to the world of light. she kept the one Eraqus used.
hm, most of this is common knowledge by this point, but im sure someone does appreciate the spoiler tag. the only way for the other Org members to come back is if someone (most likely Sora) defeated their Heartless beforehand. this is pretty likely, but only if those Heartless were boss heartless. if they were soldiers or something common like that, then the chance the Org members will return is pretty slim. still, if nobody strength is any indication of Heartless strength... about paragraph 2, of course theyll come back! isnt that what BBS was all about, giving us a intro to their return? i think the order will be Spoiler: pretty much nothing everyone didnt know anyways Aqua first, because she can then lead Sora & co. to where she hid Ven in CO. then Ven, then Terra, as a final boss. CO was playable in CoM, but id like it to be playable as if it was in KH1 or 2. the rooms bugged the heck out of me.
Question: is english your first language? i dont mean to be rude or anything, but your spelling, grammar and sentence structure need some work. use constantly use 'two' instead of 'to'. your periods are out of place. actually, most of your punctation is out of place. write out the full word, not the slang, example: 'okay' or ''kay' or 'o.k.', not 'k'. i suggest using a word processor to write out future chapters. if you dont have one, at least use spell check. if your first language isnt english, read some more english language books if youre not sure where certain things go, or write your fanfic in your first language, then google translate it to english. again, not trying to be rude or offensive or anything. still though, its a very good concept. i do like the idea of a Ouran/KH mash-up. they arent done often. you should put the song before the story so the reader doesnt go 'oh, we were supposed to listen to that while reading? oops... oh well.' i actually kinda did that myself... i laughed when you introduced the story. ive always enjoyed stories that break the fourth wall, at least a little bit. good work. id like to know whats on the other side of that cliffhanger.
UGH fine!!!! so needy... WE HAVE ANOTHER DEFENDANT!!!!!!!!! IN THE CASE OF WHOSE BACK THIS IS: View attachment 27826 WE HAVE 2 ACCUSED: ROXAS: View attachment 27825 AND RIKU: View attachment 27827 Honorable Judge Loxare presiding...again... ANYWAYS, TO THE EVIDENCE: Roxas: The evidence has already been given. Riku: The court has found similarities between the figure in the first image and the picture of Riku when he was using Ansem's body, mainly in sleeve width, shoulder width and cloak style. The height of the figure in the first image is unknown, due to differing perspectives. However, Riku's waist when he was using Ansem's body is slightly smaller than the figure in the first image's waist. THE VERDICT Roxas continues to be guilty of being the figure in the first image. Riku is innocent of all charges. Roxas continues to recieve no sentence for his guilt. That is all. You don't like it, get your own court room.
Repliku is dead. at the end of Re:CoM, he fights Riku, loses and fades to darkness. although, i suppose if Nomura can bring Xion back (as so many people are begging him to do) he could probably bring Repliku back as well.
Interesting concept. there were a few mistakes. for example, in the first sentence, you should use "overjoyed" or "pleased" instead of "joyed". question: why did Nine's hair turn blue? Nine is Demyx. i think youre thinking of Six, Zexion.
