[video=youtube;RzJKzk8SCrM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzJKzk8SCrM[/video]
Insert better filler than this here. Perhaps the root of the problem might not actually lie in feeling that I am inconveniencing others with my presence. I can't really claim to know right now. I'll think on it.
Wanting to feel guilty? hrm.. Well it's not a voluntary action as far as I'm aware, unless the desire in unconscious. As for my belief I am a christfag but I'm far from religious. And although it does not strictly atone for anything as that which I'm atoning for is no crime at all it still atones for the transgressions my mind percieves, it is less a matter of paying for crimes than convincing my mind that I have, and thus allowing it to grant me a moment of rest and satisfaction. As for trying to fix my wrongs that would involve removing myself from society completely. Quite frankly I'd love to be a hikikomori. They've been around for a few years, but not permanently, I seem to go through periods wherein I feel like such and periods wherein I do not. And as for cutting not being the answer it is a means to an end, it isa way to remove this feeling of guilt, should I therefore choose to keep it within instead of removing it? It is perfectly acceptable in society for people to cause far worse mental and emotional and on some occasions even physical scars, yet as soon as one turns to doing it to oneself it is deemed wrong, odd. Also I do have a meeting with a counsellor on the 30th, however I plan to raise another issue in it for which getting help involves a very long difficult, and not very surefire process, mentioning this may harm my chances. I should probably start doing that again
why is your sig's cleavage glowing?
you're going on a trip to France with the pure intention of making toast? How superfluous
It would be about as confusing as a 2007 member coming back and calling me "GIL<333"
shush, feenie.
Another problem, one that has bugged me for quite some time recently resurfaced. Guilt. A constant feeling of crushing guilt, for existing, being, pushing my existence onto others. I feel the constant need to apologize and to atone for my existence and for pretty much everything I do. Stand near someone? Feel awful for it, joke around with someone? Feel awful for it, cause someone to feel bad or say sorry? Feel awful for it. This being the reaosn I apologize so often. Due to this an old temptation returns, that of cutting oneself, the pain being a payment for one's transgressions, the blood washing it away or removing it from the body. An undesirable coping mechanism but one which may prove necessary again. Hopefully not. And so I ask you if you have any less destructive methods of coping to suggest.
3><<3l>7 /l/l3.
funsies MtF J0l_ll2 1337$l>34l< 1$ l/l/l=3l210l2.
Dear KHV please long havg, unrelenting animalistic sex with me frum: risk ...BIU
You should. On a related note: I'm off to bed. Night.
........................ Yes.
BIU That one time you did that one thing?
... BIU much more tame these days I see.
Truly you are the master of all things explanatory.
Isn't that ultimately what we'll do anyway, it's highly unlikely we'll let a test such as this define us.. right? If anything it might help one to define oneself but it's pretty flimsy.
But I'm lazy and scribbling is more fun and less effort.
What ails you?
lol'd .
