If judges are switched every month it'll give you a chance to enter, too. :3
...wut John, you ruined the pretty thread >|
Oh dear, I'd avoid gradients anyway, they aren't too gentle on the eye. Make sure I'm online when you post it (remember a grand title ;3) and...
Wow, I can really see you spent time and effort on this o__o Its incredible! :'D You should do the honors and post it, in no way do I deserve to...
What the hell is "Ourn and Ourn". Meant to be a play on words from his name? It just makes it look like you cant spell. First sentence is too long. Good writers use a short and sweet sentence to start, to grab the readers' attention. Honestly, drop the japanese stuff, nobody here will appreciate it except the hardcore weeaboos. I guess the first part was alright. Moving on. P.S- it should be affected, not effected. c: Moving on ~ Should be in speech marks or something, to show its thought and not just normal text. You said "Why?" and yet you STILL didn't actually explain why he bested you at studies. Doesn't make sense. D'aww, this part was sweet. Nice idea. ...what the hell is bento? You could have atleast explained it. The constant reminder that everything is Japanese is sort of annoying. If you're going to do it, make it subtle. Finally, I see some kind of plot towards the end. Final thought- Wall of Text. Although the story so far is short it still needs to be broken down into bitesize chunks, aka paragraphs. Don't be disheartened by CnC, it's a way for you to learn and improve. Keep going with any story if you feel like, regardless of the comments you get- you'll progress and learn by your mistakes.
Im good thanks, you? I brought the short story contest back today, I hope it goes well. Intrested in being a judge? I need experienced writers to...
Torchwood is epic, plus it's set in my hometown, so double win :v I go to the places it's shot all the time, and my mum bumped into John Barrowman just the other day <:
well, its not just drawings on dA, there are many types of art :3 and you can always join just as a browser if you so wish.
aww, thanks (: do you have dA?
...wow, for once a thread has no confrontational posts :v To Zanarkand is like, gorgeous <3
He is awake.
