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I assume you'll be handling the poetry contest once more next month, right? =3

Lol the icecream vans around here are actually notorious for selling drugs on the side xD

MAYBE ITS THE SAME TRUCK

it can fly :v

xDD ****ing lol

wat

Good grief the title is true, this is depressing D:

xD But then one could argue that your poetry is effective.

Thought: why is there a semi colon at the end of My Life? There isn't a reason for it to be there at all. Understanding and Acceptive is my favourite so far. Very basic rhythm throughout all your poems but sometimes simple is best ;D

You're pretty good at this deep and emotional stuff.

no problem, Im here to help (supposedly) :3

sure, consider it done.

Hah, I almost had a heart attack when I saw that you'd updated xD

Flawless as usual ;3 I can tell this is an excellent story purely because I haven't forgotten the plot at all since the last update. I didn't even need a reminder.

Very funny and creative, I couldn't stop giggling at the toilet part.

Loved this xD

I know this is slang, but I was still like "...e__o" when I read this :v

Excellent job ~

Alright Jedininja, don't worry about him.

The beginning is filled with opposites which I am quite fond of, but then you stopped doing that and it kind of lost it's appeal to me. Personal choice, I know, I know, it's just my opinion. Also, why is there a "H" before "where" in the final line? Are you adressing somebody? That's how it felt for me.

This made me chuckle xD Nice and short and snappy. :3

And I'm sure your hair is lovely >3

It was just a reminder not to make excuses when I know you're perfectly capable of making those improvements. I didn't mean to offend, your story is lovely. :3 Now let's stay on topic, kay?

It has potential, but you need to be a bit more realistic if this is a war fiction. Surely if they were injured they would concentrate on escaping rather than stopping to snipe more of the enemy? I suppose you could put it down to loyalty, but you didn't mention that, neither did you mention the extent of the injuries of the soldiers. Also, you said he was "breathing heavily" but also trying to hide the fact he wasn't dead. Surely he would try and calm his breathing if he was playing dead, no?

Your vocabulary is a little simple, for example you've used the word "looked" too many times, when there are plenty of alternatives. There were a few spelling errors such as "out" which should have been "our" but nothing to worry about. My main problem with this is the way it's structured- why have you randomly started new lines in places? It looks messy and choppy D:

I'm glad you're writing about modern war however, since few people here do. Give me a shout out if you want me to change the title to "World in Arms" since all your chapters have to go in one thread ;3

EDIT- changed title and neatened o: ~

I don't even have Word on my laptop, but I manage a spellcheck by using programs like word processor instead. Do you have that or something similar? Only a poor workman blames his tools, remember >3

I felt that we both got too close for comfort as friends when I was in a relationship with somebody, Ill be honest and say that's why I avoided...

Nice, cute idea and I especially liked the italics at the start.

You need to proof read. Even a simple spell checker would have picked up some more obvious mistakes such as the mispelling of "wrist". Proof reading to yourself would help with some sentences that didn't seem to make sense or have words missing out. I'll show you some examples that I picked up on.

^ correction version.

You could also go into a bit more detail where the ladybug is concerned. How can you tell it was looking at you? It's eyes are tiny.

The ending was also slightly anti-climatic. It would have been a nice idea to repeat what you said at the start in italics again at the end. It becomes more of a message then, and the story won't seem like it's ending so... miserably.

Im alright I guess, you? I thought you'd left the site.

Hey .... ahfahgka

dont worry, only with sleepiness xD