That was beautiful, it's structure wasn't too good, but as night said, it isn't how it is read, it is how it is written, and that realy captured my heart, I loved it, I think you did a very good job on portraying Namine, and how she felt durring those hard days in Castle Oblivion.
"Hey, Namine, what's up? I bet you don't have as good a story as me!" Kairi said. Kairi quickly told Namine about the boy with the sharp teeth and weirid eyes.
You just want some yellow effects, thats it? I can do that easy, here you go!
Watching the boy walk away, Kairi had a jumbled mix of thoughts, what was wrong with that boy? Grey eyes, then they turned to bloodshot red, but the thing she was shocked about the most was his speed, and his teeth, they had been sharp!
Radiant Garden -Royal Palace --Merlin's Chambers "Sora! How nice to see you again!" Merlin shouted, "I'm afraid that it is due to troubled times, but it is still a good day when you get to see old freinds!" "It's nice to see you too, Merlin." Sora laughed. "Oh, I also have a supprise for you and your freinds!" Merlin stated, while pressing a button. "Oh realy, any clues to what the supprise is?" Sora asked. "You'll see it soon enough, for now, why don't you go down to dinner, Leon and Arith have some new battle plans to run by you." Merlin said, motioning to the doors. "Alright then, see ya later Merlin!" Sora said as he dashed out the door. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Radiant Garden -Royal Palace --Dinning Hall It was dinner time, and everyone else had started without Sora and Merlin, Riku and Cloud were bragging about their combat feats to eachother. "So, then Sora and I were stranded in the dark realm, and this huge Dragon Nobody comes out! It was just about to kill us both, when I found a hovercraft and-" Riku was cut off. "Hey guys! Why did ya start without me?" Sora said, walking into the room. "Well, lets see, you were up there with Merlin for two hours, we were hungry, and one more thing; we were hungry!" Riku stated, shoving more food in his mouth. "So, Sora, long time no see, huh?" Cloud said. "Yeah, Cloud, so how did your hunt for Sepriroth turn out?" Sora asked. "Not good, he got away, but I have bigger problems to worry about." "The Nobody Invasion." Leon said, speaking up for the first time. "That IS why we're here, right?" Kairi asked, "not just some dinner party." "Anyway, Leon and I have a plan," Airith said, "all you guys need to do is listen."
Hearing a comotion, Kairi turneed and saw another student chasing her, but there was something wrong, his eyes were gray! "What do you want?" Kairi asked, looking at the strange boy in wonder.
as Kairi walked away from the detention room, she caught her arm on a open locker, drawing a little bit of blood. "Oww!" she said, befoere walking off to art, leaving some blood on the locker.
Chapter FiveNakushita starred into the heartless' eyes, the horrible, yellow eyes. I gotta get out of here! he thought, as he doged yet another slash of the claws. As Nakushita made another break for the control panel the heartless began to chase him. Almost reaching the control panel; Nakushita saw a claw reach in front of him. "C***" he said as he dodged it, and ran away from the door. The Heartless ran headlong into the wall, crushing the control panel; blocking any chance of escape from the door. Nakushita ran away, and backed up against the wall, starring death in the face. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Favian rolled the gummifighter out of the way of several blasts of energy, "come on everyone, we're almost there!" he said into his radio, dodging yet another blast. As he and his wingman rocketed towards the enemy ship, a paniked voice came over the radio, "I'm hit! I'm hit!" Kai cried out, her ship spinning out of control towards the icy world below. "No, Kai!" Allan cried, pulling away from the attack formation to folow her. "Allan come back!" Favain said, "We need to stay on target!" "But she is our freind!" Allan said, as his fighter disapeared into the icy clouds of the small world. "D***it, Allan!" Favian muttered, while turning his ship to folow him. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nazomi huddled silently in the corner of the cargo compartment of the shuttle, clutching Leon's spare gunblade. Was it realy worth it? she thought, wondering if she could convince Leon to let her fight when they were on the ground. Then there was a rocking of the shuttle as it took off, headed to clear out any enemies on the icy world. I hope my jacket is thick enough, she thought, pulling at the light jacket she was wearing. If anyone can guess who Leon was talking about a promise for, then PM me what you think, I want to see if anyone can guess it!
Now that was a good chapter, (and by 'good' I mean 'that is totaly awsome!) at first, when you reavealed that Axel had a kid, I though for one second Riku, then another second, Sora, then for one last second Leon(that one came out of nowhere) and then you said Kairi and I was blown away, oh master of this universe! *bows again*
As Kairi walked towards art, she stopped by the detention room, and looked in through a window. Oh, wow, Laxerine throwing kives, Tidus playing hangman with Waka, oh no! Selphie, Sora, and Roxas look scarred! She thought, as she passed by the deteintion room.
"Because, normaly he isn't like that, but it part of the job, all the math teachers have to act geek like and wear glasses, it is part of the rules." Kairi replied, laughing.
"Did you know that I know Leon?" Kairi asked. OCC: think KH1
"I'm Kairi, are you new here? I haven't seen you around much." Kairi replied with a happy tone in her voice.
Vexen They say I don't have a heart and that I am just an old fart, and for that their gonna pay some day, cause they don't know that I can control snow, and that I have a sheild that will make them want to yeild, and they will then know that this Vexen isn't some weak old hen! Sorry about that, It was the best I could do, I got stuck thinking about Vexen for awhile, and this just sorta came into my head.
