Search Results

Well I've made these threads before, but usually for relationships and such.

This is a long drawn out speech on who I am, so if you wanna know my situation, enjoy the 10 mins of mind-fuck.

K so. I'm a very antisocial person. I have never been to the movies with friends. I've never gone to a birthday party, much less host my own for friends to come over. I don't have a reason for what I do, I just fool myself into thinking I have no friends because I'm too mature for them. This has been going on since my age of 13 where I had a traumatic experience and "grew up" ( I was a bit too childish as well as hyper). I'm not like that anymore. I used to be the class clown and hog all the attention. Now I just barely talk in class.

Don't get me wrong, I have tons of friends AT SCHOOL, but they really aren't friends unless I go that extra mile and hang with em after school or at least talk to them at lunch. I sit at a different lunch table every week or so so no one gets to know me.

I have had a crush on a few girls in my school and always miss the opportunity to have them for myself. I've never had a true real life girlfriend before. I don't have any good "friends" that I do stuff with, so I loose the chance. I can only hide behind a false name and avoid social contact with someone. No one has to see my face. No one has to know who I am. I'm free to do what I want.

Today, I had somewhat of an epiphany and realized how fucking pathetic my life is. Just be reading this over, I have come to understand that I actually love it when people talk to me, but act like I hate everyone. I look like I have friends and hang out with people in real life outside of school, but the only real reason anyone wants me around is because I'm the only FUCKING GUY AT SCHOOL WITH A WATCH SO I CAN TELL THEM THE TIME OF DAY! I feel like such a ******bag for being the kind of person I am today and I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. I always expected myself to live a promising life in modern society, but I never saw myself with anyone by my side.

Sorry if you can't tolerate how emo this is, but its not like I cut myself. I'm not depressed and I'm not ugly or anything. No I'm not repulsive in anyway, but I feel like my life is corroding away, bit by bit and I'm not using the time wisely enough. I want to enjoy high school. I want to live life to the fullest. I know the school year is almost over in the US, but I want this advice for when I go to the next grade so I don't fuck it up like I did this year.

Please, I don't want any 1-3 sentence posters posting here. You know who you are.

If you have a GOOD motivating and heartwarming post, I suggest you help me out because I'm getting a bit saddened by this whole thing.

If you have like...a question or something, that cool. I'll answer it for ya.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I **** up most of my erelationships too, so I'm a bit ronery.