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Or rather, it kind of is, except I'm not actually leaving just yet. I always promised myself that if I left, it would either be with a bang, or I would just slowly stop logging in. In this case, it'll probably be the latter, because a) I'm a filthy gossip and I like knowing all y'all's business, and b) I cannot bear the thought of quitting this place cold turkey. I could wait to post this until I really am gone, but by that point, I'd probably be too lazy to sit and type it, or, more likely, there'd be no one here to see it at all.

Let me begin by saying how hard this thread is for me to make. This year marks the 10th year I've been on this site. Let me repeat that, for those of you in the back.

I have sunk ten years into this site.

When I first joined, I was thirteen years old. I didn't have any friends, no outside activities, my mother was depressed and payed little attention to me, and my father had only recently left. I had developed severe depression myself, to the point of considering suicide (don't worry, I never did anything). The only thing I had that was keeping me going was this rad video game that had just come out called Kingdom Hearts 2, that was all about the power of friendship and how the light in your heart is the greatest weapon of all. I quite literally probably wouldn't be here today to type this at you all if it wasn't for this dumb jrpg where I could kick ass with Mickey Mouse.

I probably sound like a melodramatic little shit at this point, but I've been through like four drafts of this post at this point and I can't think of a way to word this that doesn't sound like a soap opera tbh.

Anyway, I heard about this site through Youtube, and I saw all those rad clips and followed the link to this silly little site and I joined up because, well, there were other people! There were other people who liked Kingdom Hearts and other stuff that I liked and they were all so nice and put up with my stupid middle school self! (Side note: I apologize to anyone who knew me back then. I was a little shit.)

Over the years, this place has become my home. I made my first real friends here, I met my first real boyfriend here, I learned how to type and not sound like a complete idiot, and a multitude of other things, and its upsetting that this time in my life is coming to a close.

But I'm 23 now, and I have to face the facts that nothing in life ever stays the same. This place has given me so many things, and I will always, always have a deep love for this site, but the fact of the matter is that I've outgrown this place. A majority of my friends are now gone, whether recently (coughtodaycough) or years ago, and sometimes it feels like I only click that bookmark, the very first bookmark in my top bar, out of habit.

I'm posting this thread in the Spam Zone, because that's where that bookmark takes me. Those who know me know that I rarely venture out of the Spam Zone, and my post count has been more or less the same for years because of it. I have no doubt that if posts counted here, I'd have a bigger post count than Amaury does normally (which is saying something) because I've poured my soul out to you guys in this place. If I posted this thread in the Departure area, the people I need to see this post would likely not see it, not to mention I would feel like I'm doing a disservice to myself.

I've rambled on for quite a bit now so I guess I'll shut up. I'll still be around, friends, but once a week, or once a month, rather than the almost every day I've been here for the past ten years. If you wanna keep in contact, there's some links to my tumblr and twitter and stuff in my sig, or you can pm me for my skype.

Here's some shoutouts that I feel I need to make.

@Plums : My bae, my dear, my bestest bestie Plums Vi Britannia. There are so many things I could say to you, but I don't think I can describe in words how much I absolutely adore you. You've been there for me through some of the shittiest times in my life, and I will always be so, so grateful to you. Talking to you lights up my day, and all other manner of sappy bullshit that I could ramble on about until the sun comes up. Someday, we will gather that kingdom we once talked about, and it shall be the most prosperous one in all the land. Or something.

@Misty : I've said it before and I'll say it again; this site was at its best with you at its helm. We've never been close, per-say, but we've always been friends, and I'm excited to see where you'll go in the future.

@Cat : I know you probably won't see this, but you might, so I'm typing it here. Thank you for being my Whovian buddy, and one of my closest friends on teh interwebs. I'm not the greatest influence on an impressionable youngster like you, but I like to think that maybe my presence improved your life or something. We gotta get back to that AU someday. Neigh.

@Amaury : I pick on you a ton, but in all honesty, I do think you're a genuinely great dude, and I've always admired the fact that you've always stuck to your guns, even when you became a bit of a butt monkey on the site. When I met you, I thought you were an annoying little shit, and now... I still think you're kind of an annoying little shit, but in a fond sort of way. Please don't ever change, bby~

@Dalk : I'm sorry.

@Jayn : Thank you for inspiring me to sing.

@CtR, Xaale, Wolfie, and all our other friends who are long gone : I miss you guys, and I wish you the best.

That goes for you too, remaining members of KHV. I'm sorry if I missed anyone in my shoutouts, but there's no way I could possibly name every single person who's had an influence on me. Post in the thread and maybe I'll post something nice about you. Remember, no matter what happens, I love all of you.

<3

Peace out,
Fearless

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