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Well, I have a ****ing problem: I still love my ex.

I try not to show it, but most of the time I do. I cry at night because I know he hates me and probably wants me to go kill myself or something. I've tried talking to him as a friend, but he's always being an *******. Once I tried talking to him in the lunch line, but all he did was quickly get his food and complain about how the line was too slow (he said that because I was right behind him in line). And he won't even look at me. When he does, he just glares.

I keep making little notes in homeroom and paintings in art, and my friends IRL have given them to him during lunch and break. They said he actually looks at them, then he lets his friends look at them. I told them I was sure he was thinking, "My God, why won't she ****ing leaving me alone? I guess I'll show my friends how stupid she is" or something like that when he passes it to his friends. Speaking of which, whenever I make a painting for him in art, the girls at my table call me stupid and crazy. They also try to ruin my paintings by pouring a bunch of paint on them.

I don't know what to do. Pretty much everyone has told me to move on and quit being a ****ing crybaby. I told them that's so easy for them to say, they don't know how much I loved him (and still love him).

So, um...yeah. It's pretty much the back row and all our wackiness. We actually had a sub that day, so we pretty much wouldn't be doing that when the teacher's there.

So, this will pretty much be my poetry thread.

This is a poem for my crush. He knows I like him, but he only sees me as a really close friend.

I know you'll never feel the same nor will you notice me
But I really beg to differ when you say we're not meant to be
You may be three years older, but age really means nothing
When you're so in love like I am with you, I know there could be something

Age is only a number, such as three, six, or nine
I'm sorry I love you as more than a friend, I just wanted you to be mine
And looks don't show the truth, that's all personality
On the outside, someone's overweight; on the inside, sugar sweet

I'm sorry I'm not perfect, I'm sorry I need you so
I'm sorry that I'll miss you when it's time for you to go
I'm sorry that my crush on you is filling you with hate
I'm sorry that while you leave for college, I simply sit here and wait

Wait for you to someday see that you are my life
The one to hold and cherish until the day I die
(his full name here), although you'll never feel the same,
I still dream about you being my love someday...