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"Never trust a dog to watch your food."

-Patrick, age 10



"When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?' Don't answer."

-Hannah, age 9



"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."

-Michael, age 14



"Stay away from prunes."

-Randy, age 9



"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to."

-Emily, age 10



"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."

-Taylia, age 11



"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment."

-Traci, age 14



"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac."

- Andrew, age 9



"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time."

- Kyoyo, age 11



"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."

-Amir, age 9



"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."

-Kellie, age 11



"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."

-Naomi, age 15



"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick."

-Lauren, age 9



"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."

-Joel, age 10



"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone."

-Alyesha, age 13



"Never try to baptize a cat."

-Eileen, age 8