Keeping a dream journal is a good idea... I just need to keep reminding myself to write something or get up early enough to have time to write in it. My dreams are not really reoccurring, and the themes change out almost every night. And sometimes I have dreams where I think I'm awake, but I'm not. And those are the terrifying ones. Sometimes I don't remember at all what I dreamed about because it's so jumbled and random, but I wake up feeling anxiety, anger, sadness, etc. And I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs outside what my doctor prescribed, so... :/ Those can awaken the very bad side effects in the meds I'm taking now
So after talking with a friend from here last night, I realized I've been trying to ignore an issue for a while, but it keeps coming up in my life. If anyone could read this out and maybe just help me with whatever suggestion you have, I'd greatly appreciate it. Even if it seems dumb or easy, please. I really need a clear direction of what to do. When I was younger, I used to have terrifying nightmares. Like I remember dreams from when I was a toddler and I'm freaking 22 now. A lot of them are so scary and morbid, I don't want to post those ones here in detail. But I would have dreams of my mom driving me down the road, and then suddenly she would vanish and the car would crash or go off the road, dogs and wolves howling outside the car or the house and try to break in and I would be trapped, Bloody Mary coming after me and my family, family getting killed, getting chased, faces popping up in the window at night, being attack by unknown entities, getting into fights, me getting killed, having to jump off of cliffs or roofs to try to escape nightmares, etc. When I was in third grade, I started to stay up as long as I could at night by reading exciting stories, drawing, or writing my own stories. I was hardly exposed to violent video games, TV shows, or movies, but I did have a lot of domestic violence happenings around me. When a family member left because one of those incidences summoned the police, the nightmares intensified and then they started to dissipate after a while. I went to a child counselor, but my mom said that she said I was fine. I was normal, happy as could be, but I was constantly afraid and enjoyed being alone. More things happened in my life that were scary and unusual, but I dealt with them. I learned to just turn on a fan at night, not listen to music because my brain started to warp the sounds to create a scary vibe or image, keep a small light on at night, etc. And then all the sudden it seemed to stop when I was around thirteen to fourteen. Maybe it was because then I started to realize the "demons" in real life were scarier than the ones I dreamed about, or because I would stay up late and just get about 5-6 hours of deep sleep, or maybe it was because I was getting very depressed because of family, peers, school, and just things of the past that weren't taken care of before. Fast forward to when I was around 19, my depression spiraled out of control. It got up to a point where I had to be under close supervisions by doctors, counselors, and therapists. I didn't have nightmares until they started to give me medications. Some of them intensified my nightmares while others seemed to make them disappear all together. I found a good mix that worked for me, and been on them for about a year and a half now. Jump to today, I have really nothing to worry about. Yeah my family is still crazy and dysfunctional, but I'm away from them and that environment. I'm going back to school, have a job I love, getting good grades, got invited to an honor society program at my school, getting asked to sing more often in public, starting to be more at peace with myself and who I am, talking to a therapist who knows my family and me by phone weekly (which is a big deal, because she doesn't charge me and people pay big, big money to see her), going back to church, and so forth and so on... But the nightmares are coming back. They're not what they used to be though. They're now adult themed and creepy, but it seems normal. They happen so often that I don't get scared anymore and sometimes I don't remember them. It's just the feelings I get from them that leave me so tired and groggy in the mornings, like I only get three hours of sleep. I take two medications at night, one of them for depression and the other for PTSD to help me sleep, and after I take them I go to sleep in like an hour to two hours max (or I just get so sleepy I can't physically stay awake) which is like 9pm to 10pm at night. But then I have the hardest time waking up, and sometimes I don't start moving around till like 8am to 9am in the mornings. I do a lot of sitting at my job, so I try to walk around the block or do some stretches and light exercises at my home, but my body is so exhausted. I just feel tired and sore through out the whole day. I don't know if it's because of my medications, my diet or lack of it, lack of rigorous exercise, or what. I'm trying to walk myself through my dreams (lucid dreaming), but sometimes I don't know I'm dreaming until something bizarre happens and then its too late to control it. It just feels like I'm wide awake and that the dream is just a normal day, but it's not. And I'm in my bed sleeping. I used to get night terrors where I couldn't wake up, and I panicked and woke up in cold sweat and pain. There was a dog that used to sleep with me and would lick my face to wake me up, but now she sleeps with her owners because the night terrors stopped happening much after that. Here's what I try to do to go to sleep: Read scriptures Say deep prayers Take my medications Turn off all electronics one hour before bed Drink milk with my medications Do some light stretches Try to elevate my head until my neck and back hurts Write in my journal Clear my mind Listen to relaxing music Turn on my fan for white noise Tell myself I'm going to sleep and what happens will be just cause I'm dreaming I just... I dunno. Any suggestions or insights would be greatly appreciated. I'm just so tired of feeling like I got little to no sleep, and I'm tired of getting these realistic nightmares.
Everything is awesoooome~
OHMAIGOSH!I'VEBEENTACKLLEDAH! *HUGSBACKASBESTASICAN* SORRYFORNOTREPLYINGSOONER,BEENBUSYANDWHATNOT.HOWAREYOU?!?!?!
Keep at it, love! *gives big hug* Behind the clouds, the sun is always sun shining. I am happy that you got your spark back for you music. Really, if your sister is that angry about it, she should have considered the possibilities of her intermediate family having issues getting to her special occasion. I mean, I don't know how old you are, but $3,000 is like a fortune to me as a 22 year old. She can't expect you to win the lotto overnight or foresee her getting married over seas and saving up for just THAT ONE moment. With stresses already so high though, it's hard to see little details like that and consider things logically. Like I said, if people offer help, ACCEPT IT. You so very much deserve it missy, because you've been putting your all into your own life as much as possible. Have you told your parents your stresses? The fight you got in with your sister? That you're worried that you won't be there and then have enough to support yourself after the trip? Write your feelings all down, organize, and please, please, please at least communicate it with your parents. There is so much misunderstandings that get looked over when you do not communicate. I'm just saying it from my own experience of keeping things to myself, no matter how matter small it is, say it. There's just only so much you can keep in and to yourself. The longer you keep it in, the bigger the breakdown, explosion, or meltdown will be. Just give yourself an easy day. ONE easy day out of all this stress. Paint your nails, soak in the tub, read a relaxing book, light some scented candles, play with play-dough, paint, draw, sing, just anything that relaxes you. And be not ashamed of it. Everyone needs that break every so often, and you so need it. Take it.
Um... The news article says they were both captured but the police don't know to press charges or not to the owners. It's in the post I posted.
In summary, "news" flashes like these make my day.
I can't. T~T I'm an Infant Teacher now. Young adult life suuuuucks. (Not really, but some days are really straining) *waves a fan at Real Life* Shoo, get away from Feenie, you pest. Hi Feeniekeenieieieieieieie~ *waves arms in the air* Long time, no chat
That, or real life consumed everyone at once.
Fairy Tail Main Theme by Yasuharu Takanashi (Good studying music)
How To Sleep When Not Tired: Take Melatonin or ZQuil Listen to peaceful music (no vocals or sudden change in speed or sound of music) Download an app called Brain Wave, wear headphones, and turn it on to Deep Sleep mode Keep all electronics off and away from you (no distractions) No caffeine at least 5-6 hours before bedtime Make yourself comfortable in your favorite blankets Read a very, very boring book Try not to have a huge gigantic meal at least three hours before bed Stretch before bed Aaaaaand, that's all I got. lol
Well, from what I learned living in Las Vegas, sometimes people can take an advantage of your kindness. Like if you give a homeless man say like a $10, he/she could tip off someone and have an accomplice come rob you. Or like for instance with Elizabeth Smart, her father offered a homeless man a job and invited the stranger to their house to work on their roof, and then the homeless man came back later and kidnapped Elizabeth from her own room. Or on a lighter note, some people will dress as the homeless, pan-handle, and go back to a fancy house with plenty of food and the comforts of modern life. Or sometimes people are afraid they'll take the kind act and enforce it with something bad, like buying drugs or booze instead of a meal or medical supplies. I think people in general are just afraid of the "What if this goes badly" factor, because our world is so messed up and cruel. Humans start learning and adapting to their environment so some not helping may be a sense of survival or trying to protect themselves from an "unseen evil". Or people could simply be jerks and be turning a blind eye. Or someone is truly suffering and will accept with help with no dishonesty. *Shrugs shoulders*
Personally, I love old fashion/steam punk styles and this show sticks close to the time era it's based in as much as possible. They show things we take fore-granted in our lives when solving crimes, like knowing finger prints to know who did the crime and florescent lighting to show blood splatters. It's pretty much showing as accurately as possible how solving crimes has evolved over time, starting in the late 1800's. It sounds boring, but they keep it really interesting and even bring in famous figures and icons during that time quite well. I find myself on the edge of my seat sometimes because of how they tell the stories. Don't tell me I'm the only one that watches this awesome crime show.
Without watching the video, it looks like an offtone pearly white with ugly beige jumping in to jumble things up, and an altering light skyblue aura about it... Pretty much it's just a big mess of fabric with a design that's screams "I DUNNO WHAT I WANT TO BE, BUT I'LL BE SOMETHING! I DO WHAT I WANT! BEAT THAT, HUMAN EYES! BAWHAHAHA!"
Today I had to go to a training for work... And they pretty much made us make stuff. This Spider Hat was one of them so we can teach kids about spiders and how cool, but dangerous they could be... Spoiler ' View attachment 41481 And then after everyone started to put them on, I thought out loud "... We look like we're in a cult..." Spoiler View attachment 41482 The joys in working in Early Childhood...
Haaa, I have that problem too. Just tell yourself to write one page, or two. Or 15 minutes to one hour of no distractions.
That'll do it! x3
Thank you! Busy, but a good busy that keeps me distracted and focus on other things to be happy. How about you? Thank you! You're so right. I'll hit ya up on that offer.
Haaaa. Pink looks good on ya!
