Thankyou Hales <3 Thanks, I guess Harriet. I suppose you might all have to excuse my aggressive writing, it's the mood I've been in at the moment. Glad you...liked it? <3 Thankyou :3 <3 Thankyou, and yes, I will work on the consistency of beats and rhythm. <3
I enjoyed reading this, and the descriptions are rather...Vivid? I think that's the right word to describe them anyway, but they are certainly well written and thought-out. One thing I must say, is that the ending sentence seems out-of-place, if you understand what I mean. It doesn't seem like it should be on its own, but accompanied by another fragment, rather than being one on its own. I'm pathetic at trying to advise others on how to improve, sorry. I tried.
Gasping, I glared straight forward. The pain. The agonising pain that seared straight through my limbs and body was so immense; it took me to my weakened knees immediately. I gasped, clutching my neck in an attempt to force air out of my throat, to possibly release the pressure that had formed there quite suddenly. I coughed, spluttered, winced, and let my forehead rest upon the ground, with my elbows at either side of my temples. My mouth began to water excessively, making each fastening breath cause a splutter of salivation to spray into the air. Cramps began to seize my abdominal region, and take hold of my torso completely, as if someone was bashing a hammer into my guts repeatedly. Boom. Boom. Boom. I felt myself gag, the acidity of a searing liquid rise and falling from my gut, and burning as it slid back down my gullet in one of the slowest ways possible. The waves of violent expulsions became more frequent and intense; my body had no other route to take but to let it all out. Holding my jaw open with the upmost willpower that I could withhold, a warm shift of liquid spilled from my quivering mouth, and to the linoleum floor below me. My throat burned, eyes streamed as I managed to collect myself again, wiping the residue of acid-based vomit from my dry lips. Perhaps I was so selfish to think that anyone would come to help. To ensure my safety. My health. My well-being. Nobody came, not even the woodlouse perked interest at my scene. Nobody ever did come in this house, this shack of empty hallways and dust-caked corners. This structure, hollow like the lifeless veins of the deceased. Deprived of emotions, deprived of the art that is human nature, deprived of care, tenderness. Love.
Her eyes were vacant. Hollow. She was looking, gazing towards the ocean like a zombie, mystified as the waves roared below the cliff ledge she stood on. It spat at her, taunting her, letting her know that it was far more powerful than her frail body. Far more powerful. She shuffled forward an inch or so, her breath raw and gasping as she took in another lungful of air. It was icy today. The clouds were sneering at her, the cliffs were laughing at her; the sea taunted her, humiliated her, and gloated of its superiority with loud, crashing tones. Wounds on her arms stung as the saltwater spat up again, making the long, thin scabs seem like scorching wax glued to her limbs. Her world span. The wind was blowing today. It was rushing past her, astounding her so quickly. Her ears rang and popped, freezing like the rest of her rigid body as she hit it. Hit it like a bomb. A small, human bomb. Waters were cold today. Very cold.
Lessons like melodies When I first seen, I gasped. When I was alone, I yearned. When I was upset, I rasped. When you hurt me, I learned. As lame as it may seem, my eyes still sting to this day. I remember my first love, although I try to forget. Regardless of the attention you did not seem to pay, You were always my little, lovey-dovey ******. It is stupid, I know. He hurt me, it’s shown. I feel like the memory should go, Yet over time, all it has done is grow. So maybe it was idiotic, to think that it was real. The emotions that flared, I was too young to feel. We were both stupid in our own little way. Then again, That is the lesson we learn at the end of the day.
Chapter two: I state my case. Demyx stared at the rapidly changing numbers before him, his bright eyes blinking in wonder as to why the statistics were so important, and why they had to be inspected by a woman behind the desk. He wanted to ask her why, but due to the threats given by Axel and Larxene about how he ‘had better not mess this up or we’ll kill you’, he decided to keep quiet for now. The woman behind the check-in desk – who had an inch or two too much orange make-up on her face, and her hair practically bleached white – smiled approvingly as the digits settled on a secure 17.00. Demyx smiled back, his white teeth etched out into a nervous grin. Why is she smiling like that? He wondered, swallowing. She looks kinda creepy. “May I see your passport, sir?” She asked in an over-enthusiastic voice. Demyx just looked at her, frightened to turn and look in his bag at the chance the woman may pounce on him or something. “...My passport?” He questioned, scratching the back of his head with a hopeless look painted upon his face. “Yes sir, your passport. May I please see it?” The woman held out her hand, that same insane grin on her face. Oh jeez. Why did Axel have to go through before me? He could have helped me with this... Without turning, and keeping his eyes fixated on the woman’s grin, The Nocturne lunged his hand into his back pocket and threw the all the papers he could grab with his one hand at the girl. She looked surprised, and used one finger to tip the pile on its side to look for a burgundy book-like object. Indeed, under the old, doodled papers and cards, the girl found what she was looking for. “Okay sir... you can go through now.” The woman half-smiled and handed the reddish booklet back to the water mage. “Thanks.” Demyx grinned, relieved. He leant forward, attempting to pick his suitcase up from the belt. Suddenly he froze, startled by a noise far louder than the inane chatter of the airport. He jumped, yelping as he did so, and watched with wide eyes as his bright azure case was carried away through a dark flap in the wall. “...Where did you take my suitcase!? I need that thing!” He demanded, jumping up and onto the moving belt itself. “Sir? What the hell are you doing?” The blonde woman rose from her seat, pushing madly against the Nocturne. She eventually forced him off the belt, and ordered a security guard to ‘assist’ him to the departure lounge. *** Larxene stood, bored of the excited babble that surrounded her. Actually, her bored state was not the only thing that had dampened her mood. Xemnas just had to be cheap. She thought, sighing. Three separate holidays. How pathetic. To top that off, Marluxia and I are lumbered with Axel and Demyx. Axel and friggin Demyx. I mean, sure, Axel is okay to cope with, but Demyx? The guy doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together- “Axel!” A familiar, whiney voice screeched. “get this guy off me!” The Nymph turned, her eyes settling on the mullet-haired musician being dragged through the gates by a large security guard – possibly the same size as Xaldin, maybe bigger. Demyx was struggling against the security guard, making stupid little noises as he failed to run from the bigger male’s grasp. Immediately, Larxene giggled, covering her mouth with her hand to stop her from bursting into hysterical laughter. This was rather amusing to her – watching Demyx struggle against a beefy man would be amusing to anyone, in her eyes. “What the hell?” Axel walked forward, closely followed by Marluxia. “Are you gonna let go of him, or are you gonna salsa all over this place?” The security guard looked at Axel sneeringly, and walked straight past him towards Larxene. “Excuse me ma’am.” He cleared his throat, still clutching onto Demyx. “Are you this boy’s mother?” Silence. Larxene growled, leering icily at the man. “...I’ll kill him.” She lunged forward at the man, only to be intercepted by the Graceful Assassin. “No! Larxene! It... Is not...WORTH. IT.” Marluxia struggled with the vicious girl in his fumbling arms, being careful on where to place his hands on The Nymph’s little body. Meanwhile, the security guard stepped back, letting Demyx go in the process. He managed to separate himself from the four vicious Nobodies, and retreated to the check-in desks, mumbling incoherent curses along the way. “Well,” Axel brushed himself down. “That went well.” He yawned, stretching his limbs out; after a long, detailed, totally made-up explanation of where they took Demyx’s bag and why, he was rather tired. “Where are the others?” Demyx asked, perking up from his worrying-session over his ‘precious flip-flops’ in his ‘precious suitcase’ that he bought with his ‘precious munny’. He looked around, not noticing how Axel and Marluxia had resorted to the Duty-free shop, away from the Nocturne and The Savage Nymph. Larxene looked up from her book, settling her feet neatly on the seat next to her. “On a different flight.” She replied in a monotonic voice. “why?” He asked, edging closer. “Because Xemnas is being cheap and booking three separate, and equally cheap holidays.” “Why are we even going on holiday?” “Because we just are.” “...Why is he being cheap?” “Because it’s Xemnas.” “...Where are the others going?” “I don’t know. I don’t care.” “...Why was I put with you guys?” “Again, don’t know.” “You don’t know much do ya, Larxy-OW.” Demyx shouted, clutching his head. It throbbed, feeling the full force of Larxene’s book being brought down upon it. He whimpered slightly, and looked back up at her. “What was that for?” “Being annoying.” “...Sorry...” “...Did that hurt?” Larxene smirked, giggling at the over-dramatic Nocturne cradling his head on his knees. “Yes. It did.” He scowled in return to her giggles. “That’s okay then. Learn to not ask as many questions, and you might survive these two weeks.” “...Where are we going anyway?” “Demyx... We are going to a little place called Ibiza.”
Gang bang. It's rather enjoyable if you involve fire ;D
“...We could have a walk through the streets. Look for the others there.” Larxene suggested, her eyes reopening and averting themselves up at Demyx again. The residue of a smile still tingled on her lips like pins and needles, forcing her to smile a little again. She felt slightly shy at this point, but prepared herself for the abrupt moment that the shield would return, and she would morph back to the aggressive girl she usually was. Perhaps that wouldn’t happen. But the odds were that it would, so why not enjoy herself now? Even for a moment? They could look for the other members, but walk and talk at the same time. Yeah, that sounded alright. “Come on.” She urged, now pulling him by the hand. “We might be able to find Xigbar or someone in a pub or something like that... We’ll have to look around.”She added with a grin.
Wow, you're so witty. harriet....CALM :lolface: I know him. S'all happy shit. And yes. >| Art, music composition, music scripture and tabliture, IT and English lit. ...Why do you ask? :3
Exams years start tomorrow. ...Wow, I feel like shit.
What do you think of me?
What a delightfully nice profile picture.
I think I smell a winner already. >:3 Anyways, this sounds pretty good. It's a good motivation for writers, and it's certainly something that will get me off my ass to write. Are our short stories posted here in this thread? I'm assuming so. <3
Hahaha, oh my, I've never thought of it that way. I actually really laughed at the aspect of a child jabbing a fork into it's mothers eye when her...
Larxene nodded. She turned to Demyx, giving her version of an actual smile, which in reality, was very rarely - if at all - expressed. Her white teeth glistened as she let out a small laugh, bringing her right hand across her chest to lay it on his. “I think I figured that out already, otherwise I wouldn’t be as calm as I am now.†She gave an unusual smile again, and closed her eyes, a sudden bout of tiredness striking her small body. She licked her lips and sighed, feeling a release as her body had chance to relax for a moment. She couldn’t be bothered to listen anymore, and just wanted to block out the world for a moment and rest her eyes. She got bored of the emotions such as anger and frustration, although the need to feel them was so compulsory that it was almost consistent in all situations she was lumbered in.
“How nice.†Larxene giggled, walking forwards slowly towards the cloaked member. “You claim to have a sharp mouth, eh?†She stopped, leering forwards with a slightly amused pucker on her lips. Her arms remained folded as she raised an eyebrow in speculation at the supposedly “sharp†member. “You’re mouth won’t be so 'sharp' when I blunt it.†She smiled angelically, sensing the anonymous building for an oncoming fight. Oh, how I love entertainment like this.
...Lovely.
“You guessed it.†Emzy sniffed, gripping her dripping nose as she pushed open the door before her. She scanned the toilets, heading immediately for a cubicle to grab some paper. She did so, returning from the compartment with a white scrunched piece of toilet paper shoved up to her face. “...it stings...†she complained, wincing as she took a quick look at the red splodge on her paper, and put it back to her face.
Reading the felines thoughts, Vanessa rolled her useless eyes and sighed. “That would be such a good idea if I weren’t hated by almost everyone here, and I doubt little miss pain and flowers-for-brains have any contacts, and it’s gonna seem a little bit strange seeing us four haggling to buy an air ship or whatever.†She sighed and tapped her fingers on her pale face – of which was mostly darkened by the shadow of her black hood. Her red lips curved into an unsatisfied scowl as she thought the best she could. “...Although I hate to contradict myself, I may know a person in Zontan – a few miles from here – who could build us one fairly cheap.†Now a satisfied smile lightened her shadowed face, showing her pointed, white teeth in full bloom. “He was a friend of the family and-†slowly her rough voice faded, ending her fragment of a sentence with an abrupt sigh. “...We can go see him, anyway, if you wish. It all depends on the money we have.â€
“My apologies if I don’t jump around like a hyperactive idiot.†Larxene retorted, removing her fingers from the searing hot glass to turn around. She looked back at the new member, who was still stood there like the stupid kid sent to stand at the back of a filled classroom or something. Wow, he didn’t talk much, did he? “...You have a name?†She questioned, cracking her knuckles loudly. She looked the new member up and down again, and sighed from his lack of response. “...Or a tongue? Speak, idiot. It’s a little thing called communication.†She rolled her eyes and turned away again, looking back at the sky. The lightning had ceased and the clouds hung solemnly and lifeless again. Now it was boring. Her entertainment - which did not involve the pain of others - had stopped, and things seemed to come to an immediate halt. Urgh.
