Search Results

It is *Deep breath* really really really really really really really goooooooood! *Collapes because of lack of Oxygen* I'm... Okay...!

Chapter 5: Jobs, Cameos,and Blackmail.

Lets us say... I know how he feels. =_=

Yes Master! *Salutes*

Sorry this is a bit late. Blame writers block and homework. =_= *Tries to shoot writers block* *Tries to shoot homework*
WARNING: This chapter goes on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Its is also my least favriote out of all of them.
HOWEVER, I have got an excellent idea for the next chapter, so hang on in there. *Gives you cookies*
To clear up confusion, Italics and Bold is Sora in Roxas head, speech marks mean he's talking, Italics and Underlined is Sephiroth.
NOTE: I know this isn't well laid out, but I did my best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“HES FAINTED!! OH MY GOD! NOBODY PANIC!! FOR F***S SAKE ROXAS DON’T PANIC!!” Demyx yelled (still high on sugar, and, obviously, panicking.)
“Demyx, YOU’RE the one who’s panicking you baka.”
“BAKA! WHAT THE HELL!? OH, ITS ALL SO CONFUSING TO ME!!” Demyx began to bang his head against the wall.
CRACK!
“Uh, Saïx, was it really necessary to knock him out?”
“Believe me, it was.”
“It’s just, he could’ve been useful.”
“ICOULDHAVEBEENUSEFUL?HAHAHAINYOURFACESAÏXCANIHAVESOMEBEER?” Yelled Demyx at light-speed. His years of falling over and hitting his head against walls had given him a very hard skull, hence his quick recovery. That, and the fact Zexion had shoved a potion down his throat.
(Look, I don’t know where half these people come from. They’re nobodies, so they randomly portal about.)

“I’m scared.” Whispered Roxas, backing away from Demyx.
“Ur, why?”
“I actually understood what Demyx was saying. That and I see dead people.”
“You understood what Demyx was saying. That IS scary.”
“Demyx! Wake up Xigbar! Please!” Yelled Axel. “Marluxia, get off my coat. I don’t care that you’re hung-over, I’ve been hung-over more than half my life.”
“Oh right. Um, wait a second.” Demyx pulled a piece of paper out of his coat pocket. (I presume they have pockets.)
“Demyx? What are you…?”
“If a person faints, check that they are breathing… Right…”
“DEMYX! AS YOUR SUPERIOR, I ORDER YOU TO THROW AWAY THAT PIECE OF S*** AND CHUCK WATER ON XIGBAR’S HEAD NOW!! IF YOU DON’T I WILL BURN YOU SO BAD THAT YOU WILL WISH YOU NEVER EXSISTED!”
“I’m a nobody, so I don’t exist anyway—“
“DEMYX!”
“OKAY!” Yelled back Demyx, throwing the piece of paper away, and grabbing his sitar. “DANCE WATER DANCE!”
“DHFAJHDGKJSLGGGAKKHH!” Screamed Xigbar as a torrent of water hit him.
“Xigbar! Why did you faint?”
“What was in the letter?”
“I AM HYPER!”
“Demyx SHUT THE HELL UP!” Xigbar yelled. He breathed out slowly. “The letter… Wasn’t a letter. It was a bill.”
“We get bill’s all the time!”
“Yeah, well, this one is different.”
“How so?”
“It was the bill… For Mansex’s phyciatrist.”
Everyone in the room, i.e. the whole of the Organization at this point, was silent. Then they all spoke as one:
“Oh S***!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How much was the bill again?” Roxas was hanging upside down from a ceiling lamp, and rolled his eyes at the question.
“Demyx, that’s the 8th time you’ve asked that question in the last minute!”
“Its not my fault I have a short attention span!”
“Yeah it is.”
“’Isn’t!”
“Is!”
“ISN’T!”
“IT IS!”
“What are we arguing about?” Demyx asked looking confused.
“Never mind.”
“Oh crap!” Larxene marched into the room, carrying a piece of paper, swearing loudly.
“Um. What’s wrong?” Demyx asked. Demyx was the only one who was dumb enough to talk to Larxene when she was in a bad mood.
“I’ve been paired with AXEL for god’s sake! And we have to find work in Agrabah!”
Let me explain what’s going on (I skipped the boring meeting where nothing happened.) The bill was 100,000 munny. The organization does not have that kind of munny, due to numerous law-suits they are in. So, to raise the munny, the organization is being paired up, and have to find work in various worlds.

Everyone read the list. There were many moans and groans.
“Oh crap.”
“I hate that world!”
“F*** this!”
“Why is there blood on this list?"
“…You don’t want to know.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dammit! Why the hell did I end up with Mr Hung-over? Moaned Roxas inside his head.
HA HA! YOU ARE SOOOOOO UNLUCKY!
Sora… What the hell are you doing in my head?
Cameo. The author couldn’t think of another way to get it to work.
Right. Are you planning on staying long?
Depends. What are you doing?
Raising money to pay for Mansex’s phyciatrist bill.
What! Mansex has to go to a phyciatrist?
Yes.
YES! BLACKMAIL MATERIAL HERE I COME! I HAVE GOT TO TELL RIKU THIS!
Does that mean you’re leaving?
Yes, for the moment. See ya Roxas.
“Phew!”
“Roxassssss! Shut up you ******!” Whispered Marluxia. This guy has really long hang-over’s.
“Right!” Roxas stopped himself from killing Marluxia with his bear hands. “This is what we’re going to do—“
“Who put you in charge?”
“You, when you got drunk over your F****** flowers!”
“How dare you befoul my flowers with your ill-bread mouth!”
“I’ll befoul whatever I want, Flowa Powa!”
“Shut up stupid key of whatsit!”
“Nice comeback.”
“Really?”
“NO!”
“Shut up Number XIII! I’m in charge!”
“Yeah, right Mr Flowa Powa!”
And it went on like this… For hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Right. Lets get one thing straight.” Larxene growled as Axel and she stormed through Agrabah.
“What’s that?”
“I am not, nor will I ever be interested in you.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m NOT! And flirt with me again… You see that wall?”
“Yeah.”
“Your guts will be all over it. And I won’t be picky how I get them out.”
“O-okay…”
“Good! Now lets find some bloody work to do in this boring place.”
“Uh, Larxene…”
“What?”
“Do you like Demyx then?”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY!!?” Screamed Larxene, summoning her Kunai.
“Yu-oh…”
And Axel was badly singed. Idiot…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Demyx shivered as he and Saïx walked through the underworld.
“Stop shivering Demyx. Do you have any idea how annoying it is?”
“No, should I?”
Saïx shook with barely repressed rage. He didn’t get on with… anyone in the Organization when it came to it. He got on well with Mansex (Is bashed over head with claymore) I mean Xemnas, Vexen and Lexaeus. And that was pretty much it. So there was no chance in hell that he and the optimistic (If naïve) musician were ever going to get on. Ever.
“You’re shaking too Saïx!”
“With rage, not fear.”
“I’m not scared!”
“Of course not, waterboy.”
“Why do people call me that!?”
“Well, now. That’s a good question isn’t it?” Came a new voice from the shadows.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Screamed Demyx, whereas Saïx just looked bored.
“Who’s there? Demyx, get out from behind my leg NOW! If you don’t I will go berserk on your butt!”
“I want my mommy!”
“It is I, Lord Hades, ruler of the underworld!”
“How nice for you.” Saïx said, emotionless as usual. “If you don’t mind, we’re just passing through.”
“I do mind!” Yelled Hades, stepping out from the shadows, “This is MY Underworld, and YOU’RE not allowed IN!”
“MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMYY!” Screamed Demyx, as he ran out of the underworld as fast as possible. Saïx held his head in his hand. This was going to be a long day…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Flowa Powa!”
“Stupid key of whatsit!”
God, this is so boring.
Sora, get out of my head now.
No.
Yes.
Whatever!
IT’S MY HEAD!
Don’t you want some help when it comes to Flowa Powa?
Huh? How are you going to help?
Watch.
“Hey, Marluxia, is it true that you grow weed instead of roses?”
Sora, what did you just do?
I controlled your mouth!
So that came out of my mouth?
Yes.
And that’s why Marluxia is about to kill me?
Huh?
Roxas pointed to the enraged Marluxia who had raised his scythe and brought it down… Right down on a garbage bin. There was a pause, as Marluxia realised he had just assaulted a garbage bin, and Roxas started to burst out laughing. Marluxia snarled and raised his scythe with the bin still attached.
“THIS time… I shall not miss!”
Roxas leapt out of the way.
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT SORA!!
Whatever. I have to go. The Yaoi fan-girls have found me again.
I hate you Sora… AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the meeting room at the castle that never was, there were 4 seats empty.
“Where are numbers IV, VI, VIII, and XIII?”
“Um. Well there were some… issues when it came to the fund-raising.”
“What kind of issues?” Xigbar asked, with that sort of worried curiosity that you get when you work in Organization XIII. Larxene snickered.
“Larxene, you shouldn’t be laughing. Axel got badly hurt when you electrocuted him.” Said Demyx, glaring at her.
“Larxene, why did you electrocute Axel?”
“Too many reasons to go into.”
“O-kay. I’m gonna move a little bit further away from you…” Luxord looked really scared. With a ‘Pwsh!’ (Well, that’s how I’d describe the noise a dark portal makes.) Axel, Vexen and Zexion portalled into the room.
“Where is Number XIII?” Inquired Xigbar.
“Still unconscious. We asked him if we could leave, he didn’t seem to mind.” Replied Zexion, his voice absolutely soaked in sarcasm.
“If he was unconscious, how could he have replied?”
“Demyx, you know when I said never to say anything again? Well, I meant it. Just. Don’t. Say. Anything. Ever. Again. As. Long. As. You. Don’t. Exist. Now then, how much munny did we earn?”
“Well” said Luxord, the Organization’s accountant. “All together, we made… 2 munny.”
“Right. Well, we have a massive problem.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered!” Axel pulled out his mobile phone. “Hello? Is this the Twilight Town council? Oh, crap! It’s a bloody call centre!” He listened for a minute. “I DON’T WANT TO COMMENT ON THE WAY TWILIGHT TOWN HIGH IS RUN YOU B*TCH! Right!” He pushed a button. He listened again. “I’LL SHOVE YOU IN A BLOODY YELLOW SUBMARINE IN A MINUTE!! Right! No I do not have a bloody appointment! Why would I? This is a seat-of-my-pants thing! Right! Hello, is that the mayor of Twilight Town? Yes,” Axel paused, and put on an official sounding voice. “I represent the council of The Wold that Never Was. Well, we need 99,999,998 munny. No, because if you don’t give us the munny, I shall insert a large Garden Gnome in you, and shall make up a story that you have several ex-wives, and I shall burn down the river. I can burn down rivers.” Axel paused and then look pleased. “Yes, I am threatening you, I’m pleased you caught on so fast, I thought you looked a bit thick. You’ll give it to us? Thank you very much. Goodbye.” Axel hung up. “Done.”
“Well done Axel!!” Everyone looked seriously impressed, even Larxene.
Oh my god! I think she’s impressed!
Yeah right!
Wait. Who the F*** are you?
It is I! Sephiroth!
Who?
You are Cloud Strife, aren’t you?
Nope, sorry!
Damm! Sorry to have disturbed you.
Well… That was seriously weird.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See what I mean? Ah, well. Don't worry. At the moment, I am INSPIRED, so I may actually get another chapter up tonight! We'll see. Keep smiling! :)

Demyx, I feel the same as you. My mum is always saying "TIDY YOUR ROOM!" I can walk in it, ITS CLEAN!! Well, the celing is clean. Great chapter. Poor Demyx and Zexion.

Hmm... Who is the girl? *Thinks hard* Editor, editor... DAMM! I Don't know any editors... *Thinks very hard*
DAMM YOU BRAIN!!

THE ALMIGHTY CODE! *Gives you cookies* Well done!

Disney is what makes Kingdom Hearts different from other games series. It gives it a sweet and comedic side. Also, if you took the Disney out of Kingdom Hearts you would have to change the design of the Kingdom Key. It would be totally different, and wrong. I think that they've got the Disney factor just right.

Very good. Poor Sora, hit in the face by a microwave. *Pats him on back while trying to control the giggles*
There there Sora, there there... *Bursts into hysterics* XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
*Is wacked over the head with Kigdom Key* OW!

*Joins in* Yay! Can't wait for new chapter!

Kara eyes slowly peeled open. She coughed out some blood that was in her mouth. Yuck. She glanced upwards and saw her dad standing there, looking very unimpressed. Oh sh*t...

Uh-oh! Who could that girl be? Why is every plan these people make a failure? Although, now that I think about it, the boys earlier plan of getting drunk, PROBALY would've worked, knowing the strange world whick these people live in...

Chapter 4! I'll give this one a title: Hangovers and e-mails.

*Is pleased you liked it* Ah, what Axel said to Larxene... That will all be reveled in a later chapter...

*Is encoraged* I will! :)

*Is worried* Uhh... Breathe in... and out...

*Gives you all cookies*
Here is chapter 4!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xigbar had an e-mail:

Axel punched me.
Demyx.

Xigbar just stared, before receiving another e-mail:

Whatever Demyx said I did, I didn’t do it.
Axel.

And another:

He did.
Roxas.

Then even more:

No I didn’t.
Axel.

Yeah, you did.
Roxas.

My stomach hurts.
Demyx.

Shut the hell up Roxas.
Axel.

No, you shut up.
Roxas.

I wonder why my stomach hurts?
Demyx.

Nice comeback blondie.
Axel.

Shut up, pyrohead!
Roxas.

Now, either my stomach hurts because Axel punched me in the stomach…
Demyx.

Shut up!
Axel.

No, you shut up.
Got it memorised?
Roxas.

Or because of all the sugar I just ate.
Demyx.

YOU DID NOT JUST USE MY CATCHPHRASE!?! >.<
Axel.

Yeah, I did, Pyro!
Roxas.

-.-;
Axel.

I like sugar.
Demyx.

“Oh, I’m Axel, I’m happy when Larxene slaps me!â€
Roxas.

CAN IT!
Axel.

SUGAR RUSH TIIIIMMMMEEEE!!!!!!
Demyx.

That’s it!
Roxas.

Western Style Showdown in the garden?
Axel.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Demyx.

You’re on!
Roxas.

Xigbar read this for a while, trying to wrap his head around what was going on. Then there was a series of yells from the garden:
“BURN BABY!â€
“CAN IT!â€
“My money’s on Roxas.â€
“Nah, I think Axel will scoop it.â€
“20 Munny?â€
“You’re on.â€
Xigbar stuck his head out of the window.
“Please do not kill each other!â€
“Oh, why?â€
“Yeah, Xigbar! It’s not like he’s important!â€
“CAN IT!â€

The door flung open, and an angry Larxene stood in the doorway.
“I’VE HAD ENOUGH!! FIRST I KEEP GETTING HIT ON BY AXEL!! THEN, I FIND THIS†She held up a hung-over Marluxia, “IN MY WARDROPE! AND THEN FINALLY, DEMYX FLOODS MY ROOM BECAUSE HES HIGH ON SUGER!!â€
“Demyx did WHAT!?â€
“Not so louuuudddddd…†Moaned Marluxia, pulling out of Larxene’s grasp and curling up on the floor.
“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Demyx screamed, sprinting into the room.
“Oh crap.â€
“LET’S SING A SONG!â€
“Demyyyyyxxxxxxx… Shut uuuuuuuppppppp!â€
“I’M REALLY SPECIAL ‘CAUSE THERES ONLY ONE OF ME!â€
“Not this one.â€
“LOOK AT MY SMILE I’M SO DAMM HAPPY OTHER PEOPLE ARE JELOUS OF ME!â€
“CAN IT!â€
“Roxas, Axel, what are you doing here?â€
“We got bored of trying to kill each other.â€
“WHEN I’M SAD AND LONELY I LIKE TO SING THIS SONG!â€
“We’re just ignoring each other now!â€
“…Good for you?â€
“Thanks!â€
“IT CHEERS ME UP AND SHOWS ME THAT I WON’T BE SAD FOR LONG!â€
“Is he high?â€
“Yes.â€
“I’M SO HAPPY I CAN HARDLY BREATHE!!â€
“On sugar.â€
“Who gave him sugar?â€
“PUPPY DOGS AND SUGER FROGS AND KITTENS BABY TEETH!â€
“Don't know. Don't care.â€
“Mails here!†Yelled Lexaeus from downstairs. (He can YELL?!)
“FWEEEEEEEE!! MAIL!!â€
“At least that distracted him.â€
“ROXAS!! COME HELP ME GET THE MAIL!!â€
“Do you need help?â€
“YES!â€
“Let me think about it. I’ve thought about it. NO!â€
“WAAA!!â€
“Roxas! As your superior, I order you to help Demyx.â€
“F*** you.â€
“Roxas!â€
“All right!â€
“YAY!! LET’S SING ROXAS!!â€
“No.†Growled Roxas, storming out of the room.
“DON’T YOU WANT TO SING!?!â€
“No.â€
“I HATE YOU ROXAS!â€
“ARGH! DEMYX! DON’T HIT ME WITH THAT… What is that?â€
“A SUGER JAR!â€

Xigbar breathed out.
“Right. This is what we are going to do. Axel, you are going to drain out Larxene’s room.â€
“YAY!â€
“Larxene, you are going to lock Marluxia up somewhere that is dark and quiet, and shove some sleeping pills down his throat. Who else is in here?â€
“No idea.â€
“Well, whoever else is in here, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!!!â€
“MAIL CALL!!â€
“Oh joy.â€
“WEGOTTAPOSTCARDFROMMANSEXTWOLETTERSFROMTHECONUCIL
ZEXIONSFREETHINKERMAGIZINEANDAREALLYBORINGLOOKINGLETTER!â€
“Wow, Demyx. That was very clear and to the point.†Groaned Saïx, who was standing in the doorway.
“He said we have got: A postcard from Mansex…†Roxas began.
“Don’t call him that.†Snapped Saïx.
“FINE! We got a postcard from Saïx’s boyfriend…â€
“WHAT WAS THAT!†Bellowed Saïx, who had go into full berserker mode.
“I have to run for my life now.â€
“Good luck with that.†Offered Larxene, as Roxas ran out of the room quickly followed by Saïx, who was yelling out his vocal cords.
“Right,†Xigbar picked up the pile of mail that Roxas had dropped, “We have got a postcard from Xemnas. It says:
‘I’m here. Glad you aren’t.’â€
A slight pause followed.
“Well, we also have a 2 letters from the council. One’s for Saïx, and one’s for Axel.â€
“That’ll be about me burning down the kid’s playground in Twilight Town.â€
“Do we want to know?†Asked Larxene.
“No. Gimme.†Replied Axel, grabbing the letter.
“My heeeeeaaaaaaaddddddddd!â€
“Was this a plan to impress me gone horribly wrong?â€
“Depends. Are you impressed?â€
“No.â€
“It was a total accident.â€
“LIAR!†Screamed Roxas.
“Aren’t you meant to be running for your life?â€
“Oh. That’s why Saïx is stabbing me. See ya.â€
“Yuck. Oh Saïx, there’s a letter from Radiant Gardens council. Something about mass assult.â€
“F*** that Squal-I’m mean Leon.†Snarled Saïx.
“My name’s Xigbar you ******.â€
“I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU!â€
“And here’s Zerdy/emo magazine. And this… What the hell is that?â€
“Open it!â€
“Yeah Xiggy! Open open open!!â€
“Shhhuuuuuuuutttttt uuuuuupppppp!!†Moaned Marluxia from the floor.
“SOMBODYS HUNG-OVER!†Sang Demyx sugar-sweetly.
“Well let me read this… OH MY GOD! HOLY S***!!â€
“What is it Xigbar?†asked everyone at the same time. But Xigbar couldn’t answer.
He had fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun! Oh, the Drama! Oh, the freaky e-mails! Oh, the hangovers and sugar highs! Oh,- Okay, thats enough brain. ^-^
P.S. In case anyone is interested, the song Demyx is singing is "The Happy Song" by Liam Lynch. It seemed to fit Demyx perfectly...

Kara glanced around her, before leaping forward to attack a dusk. Suddenly, somthing knocked her out from behind.

Chapter 3. I know, I havn't got a life!

Wait no longer! It is here! Yes, I have no life!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone ran outside. Roxas was giving thanks to whatever had happened, as he shoved another bandage on himself while running. They reached the castle gardens and stared. The Garden that never was… Wasn’t. Well, not anymore.
“Whoa!†Breathed out Demyx. Then a bundle of insanity and black coat threw itself at Axels feet (He was nearest.) and burst into tears.
“It’s all gone!â€
“Get off!â€
“Every last one!!â€
“Piss off!â€
“What cruel world is this!?â€
“It’s the world that Never Was, get off my coat NOW!â€
Marluxia clung on even tighter, sobbing worse than Demyx when he lost Mr Blue Bear. All of his greenhouses were blown to smithereens; bits of glass had stabbed all the flowers that had survived the blast.
“ITS ALL GONE!!†Screamed Marluxia, who was slightly blue in the face.
“Um, Marluxia, maybe you should try to breathe.â€
“MY LIFE IS SO EMPTY WITHOUT THEM!!â€
“Um, you’re a nobody, so isn’t your life already empty?â€
“Not helping Demyx.†Said Luxord, his arms crossed, frowning at Marluxia.
“I just want to die!!â€
“Oh god, a second emo, that’s all we need!â€
“Shut up Roxas!â€
“Somebody stab me!†Yelled Marluxia, who was searching the ground. “Here,†he held up a large piece of glass “This is big enough!â€
Larxene stepped up.
“My time to shine.â€
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
“He should be sane now.†Commented Larxene, stepping backwards. There was a pause.

“IT’S SO EMPTY WITHOUT THEM!!â€
“Well done Larxene!â€
“Shut it Shorty!â€
“I AM NOT!! SHORT!!!â€
“You know, you are short now that I think about it…â€
“Shut up!â€
“NOBODY LOVES ME!!†Screamed Marluxia, still yanking on Axels Coat. There was another slight pause.
“To stop us from having to answer that question, perhaps we should try to find the culprit.†Suggested Luxord. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
“That’s a good idea Luxord. But first, I’m gonna need to borrow Vexen for a while.†Chirped up Roxas, who was standing towards the back of the group.
“What for?â€
“Saïx just stabbed me through the back with his claymore.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You okay?â€
“Yeah, I’m good.†Roxas stood up and stretched. “Any blood spilling out?â€
“Nope.â€
“Then I’m clear!†Roxas grinned. Luxord and Demyx stumbled into the lab, looking rather sheepish.
“Well, did you manage to calm down Marluxia?†Asked Xigbar. Oh, please may they have managed to calm him down…
“Well. Sort of.†Admitted Demyx, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. There was a pause. “IT WAS ALL LUXORDS IDEA!!â€
“It wasn’t you idiot!!â€
“Wait, what are you talking about?â€
“Well. We really couldn’t calm him down. He kept crying. And then we… We passed one of Luxords stashes.†Everyone stared at the pair as this sank in. Lexaeus was the first one to speak. (ZOMG!! HE SPEAKS!!)
“Oh, you didn’t?â€
“Yeah. We did. It was all Luxords idea!â€
“Never mind who’s F****** idea it was!†Yelled Xigbar, pulling on his ponytail. “How much did he have?â€
“Well…†Demyx’s answer was cut of by loud drunken singing.
“TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME!! TAKE ME OUT TO THE BAAAALLLL!! THEY’RE ALL IN HEVEN NOW!!†Sobbed a distant Marluxia.
“…One glass of watered down beer.â€
Xigbar face-palmed. S***!
“Well, we better get searching. Now we have choice: We can take Marluxia with us…â€
“Hell no!â€
“Are you out of your mind?!â€
“I’d rather get slapped by Larxene!â€
“HEY!â€
“Or…†continued Xigbar “We can stay here and look after him.â€
“Let’s take him with us!â€
“They are his plants, after all!â€
“Some fresh air might do him good!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone marched across the Garden that no longer is.
“Hey, where Zexion?†Asked Xaldin. “I thought he would be out here with his nose going sniff sniff sniff.â€
“The further away he is from me the better.†Muttered Saïx. It was no secret that they didn’t get along.
“Whatever. Let’s get going. Look for anything that is suspicious.â€
“Is the fact the garden has been blown up suspicious?â€
“Demyx, only say something if it makes sense or someone else said it.â€
“MADNESS!! THIS-IS-SPARTA!!â€
“Demyx.â€
“Yes?â€
“Just don’t say anything. Ever.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Axel picked up a piece of glass. He turned it back and forwards. He was lost in thought.
“Hey Roxas. What do you think I should do? About Larxene.â€
“Why should I give a s***?†Axel spun around.
“Oh don’t go emo on me Roxas.â€
“I’ll do whatever the hell I want! You told Saïx that I ate his last Ice-Cream bar.â€
“Your point?â€
“You said you wouldn’t!â€
“Yeah? Well you said you wouldn’t grass on me!â€
“At least I wasn’t doing something illegal!†Roxas looked incredibly pissed off.
“Show me the law where it says you can’t kidnap a teddy bear! Oh, I forgot. There isn’t one!†Axel snarled. Roxas opened his mouth, but then shut it. He had (For once) a brilliant plan.
“Okay, fair enough. And, when it comes to Larxene, perhaps you should just tell her how you feel.â€
“What? To her face?â€
“Yep.â€
Axel pondered this for a moment.
“Great plan Roxas!†Said Axel. He patted his friend on the back, and walked over to Larxene.
“Oh, there you are Roxas.†Drawled Demyx, strolling over.
“Shush! Look over there!†Roxas pointed to where Axel was, who was talking to Larxene.
“What is it?â€
“Just shut up and watch!â€

Xigbar watched as Marluxia fell over, for what must have been the 67th time.
“THEY’RE ALL GONE!!â€
“I’m sure that must be very depressing. But… Perhaps you should try to breathe. I heard it’s quite healthy.†Saïx muttered as Marluxia passed out from lack of Oxygen for the 156th time.
“I found something!†Yelled Luxord, waving something in the air.
“What is it?â€
“A feather!â€
“A WHAT?!â€
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
Everyone turned to see Axel, with an extremely red face, partly because he was blushing, MOSTLY because Larxene had slapped him across the face 6 times.
“Perfect.†Muttered Xigbar.
Roxas and Demyx were having a laughing fit, Demyx had actually fallen over.
“I’VE WORKED IT OUT!†Yelled Luxord. “What did we have in the castle that was highly explosive and dangerous?â€
“Axel.â€
“Larxene.â€
“Pretty much EVERYTHING in Vexen’s lab.â€
“In fact, everything in the castle is highly explosive and dangerous.â€
“Yeah. Well, I’m being specific here. The Chicken, remember!â€
“Zexion!†Xigbar turned around to face Marluxia. “Marluxia, did you piss off Zexion again?â€
“He ish shuch an emo!â€
“That’s a yes.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Zexion!â€
“Can I help you? I’m sort of busy, drying out my Lexcion. You do realise, it’s not good for it to be chucked down the toilet.â€
“Zexion, did you blow up the greenhouses?â€
“Well, technically, the Chicken blew up the greenhouses. I put the Chicken in the greenhouse, if that’s what you mean.â€
“Why?â€
AHAHA!! LOOK! IT’S THE EMO BOY! Y’KNOW!! HE’S SO EMO! AND HE HAS THIS WERID BOOK!! AND THEIR ALL DEAD!!â€
Everyone just stared at Marluxia. Zexion rolled his eyes.
“Need I say more?â€
“Fair enough.â€
“Who got him drunk?â€
“IT WAS HIM!†Yelled Demyx and Luxord at the same time.
“Jeez… That was really helpful…â€
“Right!†Proclaimed Xigbar “Lets all carry on as normal, only, could someone PLEASE lock Marluxia in the cupboard?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Huzzah for randomness! Lots of pain in this one. And Roxas was quite calm through this, considering he was stabbed with a claymore. *Winces* Sorry Roxas... *Nearly gets head chopped off by Oblivon* OH THAT IS IT!! WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! *Insert Hysteical Laughter here*

Kara glanced up to see 5 white things making their way towards her. Nobodies? When have there been nobodies here? Before she could react, she was surronded. Oh crap...

OCC: Can I be Cloud and/or Tifa?

Its really cool!

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Life is like a video game. Whenever I finish my homework, I sing the victory fanfare! Same when I pass a test!

Chapter 2!?! What the hell is wrong with me?! >.<

Thank you! ^-^*Gives you cookie*

Well, I had a fit of randomness, and made another chapter, INSTEAD of working on my homwork. I really need to stop doing that. >.< Huzzah for randomness, Christmas Holidays and suger!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zexion walked out of the bathroom, his face tinged pink. He calmly breathed out.
“WHO THE HELL THREW MY LEXCION IN THE TOILET!?!?†He screamed, red in the face from yelling so loud. Marluxia shoved his head in from the library.
“Oh that was me.â€
“Why did you do that?â€
“It’s funny! Why else?â€
“Marluxia, I shall get you for that.â€
“Yeah. Sure you will, emoboy!â€
“Don’t call me that!â€
“Whatever.†Shrugged Marluxia, before wandering back into the library. Zexion paced the corridor. They don’t call me the clocked schemer for nothing. Now, how to get revenge… I could replace his fertilizer with weed killer… No, too childish, pitiful...

In another part of the castle, Roxas was confused.
“Wait. Run this by me again.†He said, his nose wrinkled in concentration. Axel sighed.
“We have been through this 20 times already! Look, I kidnap him, we keep him hostage.â€
“What is this gonna do? I don’t understand!â€
“Roxas, what you don’t understand could fill several librarys! The ransom is that Demyx breaks up with Larxene. Got it memorised?â€
“But…â€
“Enough already! Let’s get going!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Demyx shuddered, and spat out his 127th mouthful of mouthwash. That should get rid of any cooties or stuff like that. He wandered over to his computer. He had an e-mail! Yay! Quickly, he opened it. Oh, it was from Axel. He started to read.

Demyx,
We have got Mr… Whathisname? Oh yeah, Mr Blue Bear held hostage. Unless you break up with Larxene, the bear shall suffer the consequences. He shall have his ears cut off, and have the STUFFING REMOVED FROM HIS VERY BODY!! MAW HA HA HA MAW!!
Have a nice day.
Axel.
P.S. Roxas is here too.
P.S.S. Yeah, but I don’t want to be here! Axel threatened to tell Saïx what happened to his last sea-salt ice-cream bar. And if he found out, I would be in deep s***.

Demyx read the e-mail again. He raced over to his bed and chucked the covers away and searched his entire room, but to no avail.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! MR BLUE BEAR!! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!?!?!?!?!?â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xigbar held the chicken out at arms length, which is the correct way to hold a chicken if it has been fed 5kg of dynamite. Saïx, Xaldin, Luxord (complete with a black eye, courtesy of Roxas) and Vexen were all staring at it.
“Why did you feed it dynamite?†asked Saïx, looking as if he would very much like to kill Vexen,
“To see what sort a reaction it would have on its heart of course!â€
“Well, whatever happens, we have to get rid of it Temporary Superior.â€
“Stop calling me that Saïx!â€
“A-hem.†Everyone turned around to see Zexion standing in the doorway. “I can take care of it.â€
Xigbar breathed out a sigh of relief. “Okay, but be careful, there’s 5kg of dynamit---WHOH!! WATCH OUT DEMYX!!†Screamed Xigbar as Demyx ran head-first into him. Saïx growled, grabbed the chicken from Xigbar, and started waving it about in Demyxs’ face.
“THIS-CHICKEN-HAS-5-KG-OF-DYNAMITE-IN-ITS-FICKEN-BELLY!! WERE-YOU-NOT-PAYING-ATTENTION-WHILE-YOU-WERE-GETTING-BEATEN-UP-BY-AXEL-YOU-REATARD!!†Bellowed Saïx, swinging the
Chicken backwards and forwards in front of Demyx’s face. “Uh, Demyx?â€
Demyx had a hazy look on his face.
“I must eat 5kg of Dynamite…â€
“Oh, great, you just managed to hypnotize Demyx!†Snapped Xigbar, as Demyx began to bite his leg. “OW! ****!! STOP THAT DEMYX!!â€
“I am a chicken…â€
“NO YOU ARE NOT!! VEXEN! HOW DO YOU UN-HYPNOTIZE SOMONE?â€
“Well… Hitting them hard over the head with something usually works.â€
Axel portalled into the room.
“Allow me.†He grabbed Zexion’s Lexcion (Zexion yelled “Hey!â€) and thumped Demyx over the head with it. Several times in fact.
“Ow… My head! Oh, hey Axel. Wait a sec… Oh yeah. I’M GONNA KILL YOU AXEL!!!†Demyx leapt up, and the similarities between him and a bull were astounding. Zexion took the moments of confusion (And mild swearing. Okay, heavy swearing) to wrench the chicken from Saïx’s grasp, and ran off with it.

Demyx started bashing Axel over the head with his sitar. Xigbar moaned.
“Okay guys stop. Stop. Seriously, stop right now. RIGHT!!†Xigbar grabbed Demyx and Axel by the back of their necks.
“What the hell is going on?â€
“HE’S GOT MR BLUE BEAR HOSTAGE!!â€
“Cry-baby!â€
“Who the hell is Mr Blue Bear?â€
“My Teddy Bear! I’ve had him since I was a little nobody, all small and innocent. And now HE has kidnapped him!â€
There was absolute silence for a minute in the room, as for the second time today, everyone stared at Demyx. It was Xaldin who started laughing, quickly followed by everyone in the room. Excluding Demyx and Axel, who were giving each other death stares.
“Demyx, here is your bear.†Said Roxas, who was standing in the doorway, a look of boredom on his face and in his hand…
“MR BLUE BEAR!! YOU’RE SAFE!!†Yelped Demyx, running over and snatching the bear out of Roxas’ grip. Axel snarled, then grinned.
“Hey Saïx… Did you ever find out who ate your last Sea-Salt ice cream bar?â€
Saïx spun around and snarled.
“ROXAS!â€
“S***!â€
Saïx grabbed hold of his claymore and started to bash Roxas with it.
“Saïx! Stop this ice-cream related madness at once!â€
“MADNESS!! THIS-IS-SPARTA!!â€
“Oh, stop nicking lines out of films.â€
Saïx swung his claymore, in a way that would have taken Roxas’ head of but suddenly:
“AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DUN-DUN-DUN-DUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!
Shock-a-dodles! ZOMG! What happens next? Why am I insane? Why does everyone pick on Zexion? Well, lets wait and see. Oh, and since it was there: :sparta:
Again, comment, post, or whatever else you call it! That is, if ya want to. I have to go now, cause I will have an irate mum on my toes in a few minutes...

Kara groned. This place sucks! Either its deadly boring, or its packed with fricken Heartless! I mean, what the hell?! She contined to attack the heartless. Man, I've never seen this many before...

Larxene and Riku? Excuse me for one moment. *Walks off and has a laughing fit* BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Okay, now thats out of my system...
This is so funny! "What are we meant to talk about, who's eyes have you poked out lately!?"
"WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!?"