my self-destruction has begun yet again i havent slept in so long it isnt even funny ive been swallowing glass i tried to OD with as many pills as possible the other day i tried to stab myself today no one seems to notice or if they do they dont seem to really care is it all in my head am i just crazy i dont know how much longer im gonna last i dont know how much longer ill even care if i do last. soon ill just fade away remember me for how i once was and not for how i am.
that eating glass makes your tounge bleed unless you grind with your teeth a lot
well i havent been on here in a while so i decided that what the hell i would wait until not a lot of people were present and i would see what was happening? so go.
what exactly is it? and why do i feel a sudden lack of it
faked a smile so hard that you started to bleed? so hard you wanted to cry..ive been doing this for a month now and i let that smile go and i cant stop my emotions from pouring out...it almost make you want to smile again...
My blood is black? just saw ep. 20, if kinda failed..hope 21 is much better
i never wanted to dance with nobody but you...yes ive been driven to quoting MSI songs.. ohh just thought id let you people know according to like 4 doctors that ive seen now, im not a skitzo, they just think i suffer from extreme paranoia, ya stupid right, i mean im paranoid too but they just keep looking past that fact. sigh i guess im just doomed to suffer as a prisioner to my own mind
ok if there was ever a zombie attack and you could only take five people from this site to survive with you who would they be? CTR sabby muffin angelsneedflight burnitup and and and.. Dr. evil just so he could be our sacrefice man lol
ya im a ****ed up ******* i know get over it.
i was looking at deathnote amvs cause im bored and i came across this.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK5_QP-ZOJ8&feature=related
please go join there and find me, i want to play tetris with some one but everyone fails worse than i do
im just not sure anymore, normally i wouldnt post this but its getting bad. im not sure if im him or if he is me. im not really sure where to begin with my problem so ill start from the beggining. at the beggining of summer i suffered from a major injury to my eye and i had to be put on a lot of medicine. for a while i was fine and once my meds ended strange things began to happen, i started hearing voices in my head all the time when no one was there, i would wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and be in different places, destruction always was close by. at first i thought it was lack of sleep and that when i did sleep it was just sleepwalking. but then the voice started to call itself by name, it called itself V. He didnt talk to me much at first but then it came more and more and eventually he carried out complete convos with me. i thought i was crazy and for a while i didnt tell anyone. once i did tell some one he told me that if i said anything more he would hurt me and everyone around me. soon i told more people as i was starting to worry, but then i started to wake up in the middle of the night and i wasnt able to conrtol my body, it was still moving and breaking things all through out the house I could see everything but i couldnt do anything to stop my body. When i told my parents what was happening they thought it was just a cry for attention and ignored it, but then it began to happen more frequent my night rampages. so i talked to them and they took me to see a docter and they put me on pills that were supposed to help me. of course they didnt because all docters are just ****ing crackpots. so around a week or two ago V never shut up he told me what to do, i was scared to sleep because he had complete control. and normally i would just let all of this fester but lately even when im awake he has been taking control forcefully, its not major but every now and then i lose control to parts of myself a finger or toe here or there, and now im not sure if he is me or if im him or if he exsists and i never did and stuff way too deep for me to handle. ive told people the meds arent working but no one believes me. so now im really depressed and he tells me to kill myself he tells me to let him have his turn and that i should just go to sleep forever. im worried, i mean really worried, im starting to listen to him more and more im just not sure how long im going to be able to hold on. sorry to bother i just need this fixed and i mean now i dont want to hear the voices anymore.
I know ive been here for like evers but i realized that i never introduced myself so here is my intro thread even though i really shouldnt. of course i dont really need this, but i need more posts so im going to post whore in the introduce yourself section like everyone else does. And you know if you are one of the people im talking about. God that is just one thing that really pisses me off, its late/extremly early and some people just spam the intro section with hellos and whatnots just for more posts. ya i know ill most likely be yelled at by a lot of people here but frankly i just dont give a damn. MV out.
guess the song if you feel like it "theres nothing to lose when no one knows your name, theres nothing to gain, and the days just wont seem to change" Hint Billy Talent
And SHAKE IT SHAKE IT SHAKE..... FER SURE MAYBE FER SURE NOT FER SURE MAYBE FER SURE EH FER SURE BOMB ...this is your brain on drugs...
for the past few nights ive been havign a weird dream about this site. it starts where, Me, CTR, Burnitup, RVR, Cin, Misty, and Kitty are all online debating on whether or not ghosts are real right. so after a while we all got frusterated with each other and decided we should all meet face to face in order to solve this problem right. so we all meet up in some weird cafe in London. (weird thing is that you were all fuzzy but i recognize you all somehow in the dream). so everybody but Cin and RVR have arrived and we are all at a booth arguing the same thing. so like Cin walks in and has a kid with him and its his kid Marcus. so we are all suprised then RVR walks in with a freaking shotgun and shoots Me, Kitty, and CTR of us and tells the rest of you to wait and we will rally see if ghosts are real or not. ..i think ive been spending a wee bit too much time here lol.
yes im back again i guess.... im still majorly depressed. and CTR...Sabby..you are still the only people ive told about my condition..and i think its getting worse and worse...im not sure who is control anymore...i dont want help i just wanted to warn you both ok....to the rest of you. ya i may talk to you but it may not be me M it may another me V thats all im saying. end of story.
miss some of you i still want to beat the **** out of most of you though. i dont really have a reason. guess its cause ive been depressed lately like really really depressed and this is one of my problems. Burnitup: man ill miss you we had some good times with our Pms. Dont let anyone give you any **** ever man you are just as smart if not smarter than these shitholes. just forget about annon and that whole thing, those guys arent really worth it anyways. and that other problem dont worry about it the guy is just some wacko who belongs in an insane assylum. dont worry you wont get in any trouble because of this. ....wow this is sad i dont have a lot of other people to say good bye to. angelsneedflight: well i guess so i dont know you very well but we had some laughs i guess, i had fun being your stalker, just dont go down any dark allies ok. Sabbymuffin: one thing, dont listen to any of the **** i told you on msn ok its all just me being an ass ok done. and lastly CTR: ya you knew it didnt ya, well we may not always get along but you really are one of my only friends and no matter what i hope you know i care for you along with everyone else. you are a great person and a great leader and i hope that soon the dumb ass staff will make you head admin. the dark may be coming but i have faith that you will be able to keep it away. just make sure to takea break everynow and then ok. love ya all that i mentioned and im sure im rather fond of a lot of other members but cant really think of ya right now kk. going going good marrow to all.
this is an example of a thread whilst the member is on heavy medication children watch and learn ok im just wondering who on this site can resist my sexy charm i mean really, at first you hate me but then i get to know ya and next thing ya know you love me and have to wait with in line with all me other lovers just to say ello. so far i know only a few people who can resist me for a long time. ohh and whats the deal with fallen leaves by billy talent its a great song right but now its getting deleted everywhere i look for it what the hell mate? ok im done rambling for now
ok im bored so we are gonna play a game ok kiddies. Rules: write a PM to everyone on your buddy list who is online and say tag your it. then if they are cool and they play along then they pm everyone who is online on their own buddy list. so lets see how far it goes....ohh and lets just post down saying you have done it kk. ok i have started
