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Speaking of Japan, we watched The Forest today which is about Aokigahara Forest at the base of Mount Fuji and just went into theaters last month and although the story is a work of fiction, the details about the forest itself is factual and I hate scary movies because I had terrible nightmares as a child and even though I watched it 8 hours ago in the daylight and know it's fake, the fact that people actual go to a forest to kill themselves or because they are horror enthusiasts and then get lost and go mad and die anyway, has me utterly freaked out and I can't go to sleep because my husband fell asleep on the couch.

Holy run on sentence. // deep breaths // this is the extent of my fear right now. If you haven't heard of the movie, just look up Aokigahara Forest in google. Or don't. I suggest not looking up the Suicide Forest if you don't want to have the same problem that I am currently facing....

I think that falls under 'Talented'. Like, "it's a talent to look this good." Hurka.

♛ Gerard Butler wearing a skirt playing a bad guy in a movie about Egyptian gods. . .




// faints //.

♛ Thanks Amaury.

Below, I think this is the first time I am seeing your face. ~(// ^ 3 ^ //)~

♛ Your sempai needs kind words today.

Work at the restaurant has been virtually nonexistent, so after two months of holding out, waiting for it to pick up again, I decided to start applying for other jobs. We have more bills to pay now, so this just isn't cutting it. The other day I updated my resume and emailed it to various ads on Craiglist, one being for an assistant position for the Realtor woman. She emailed me back yesterday (addressing me by the wrong name and having to send a second email to apologize for doing so) asking if we could meet this morning. The time she scheduled didn't work for me, as it was 15 minutes before my shift started and the job is in Madison, almost a half hour away. I asked if it could be rescheduled for 9:45 instead of 10:15 to allow for the necessary time to make it to work. She never responded so I told my boss I would be late coming in. After getting up early and working hard to appear sexy yet sophisticated, I dropped my husband off at work and headed to the city. I was there 15 minutes early and stuck outside in the cold. The building it was located in was mixed-use. It had businesses on the lower level with outside entrances, but the offices on the second floor had a hallway you were required to enter first, but the outside doors for those hallways were locked. They had doorbells, but no one answered. I tried calling the woman's office number twice, but it just went to voicemail. I went back to my van because my fingers felt like they were about to fall off and waited until it was almost 10:15. Then I tried going back upstairs again and still no one would answer. So I peaked into the large window by the door and saw the receptionist at the desk and waved her over to let me in. Then she told me that the woman I was meeting with wasn't in the office and called her cell. She put me on the phone to speak with her for me to find out that she was at home sick in bed, because she didn't think I was going to come in today. I told her that since she never emailed me back, I came in at the designated time anyway, because I didn't want her to think was standing her up. She said that because she was sick, she forgot to email me back and apologized again, asking if we could meet some time next week. So I wasted gas driving to Madison and back for no reason and then hurt my arm shortly after arriving at work and now I still have 4 hours left of my day before I can go home and not be angry. =/

♛ The tail makes that cat look a lot more like a rat than anything.

♛ The Rainbow Days anime just started and I am just:

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Fox recently announced that they are going to make a new season of Prison Break.

♛ So while we were back in Minnesota for the holiday, we went to Pawn America and looked around. They had a 3DS in the clearance case for $30 where they put all the damaged electronics. We asked what was wrong with it and the guy said it was missing the power cord and the parental lock was set. 2 minutes on google told us it was an easy fix. So we got a 3DS for $40 after buying it a cord and had it reset within 2 minutes of getting home.

♛ I got a bed for Christmas. For the first time in 6 years, my husband has outdone me.

♛ I leave for Minnesota in four days and I'm having a really hard wrapping my head around it. I haven't been home in over a year and I'm excited but it just feels like it's happening so fast. Where did all the time go???

Spoiler: RILAKKUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

♛ LOOK AT THS MOTHER FUCKING ADORABLE ASS BENTO BOX. OMF //WHEEZES // So excited that it came today! Can't wait to use it tomorrow.

To answer your question, it doesn't necessarily make things easier. I am still who I am and I will still have issues in the future, but it allows me to have a better understanding of myself. I don't care about labels, and it's not like I had set out on a journey of self discovery or anything, but it gave clarity in a sense. I don't understand all the fancy new sexuality terms that people identify as these days, as I have not taken the time to read up on every last one of them, but I've been familiar with the concept of asexuality for years, I just never thought much about it. I had originally thought it was a step forward to acknowledge being bisexual, and that never even felt quite right. Idk. I guess it makes it a little bit easier, since I no longer feel like there is something wrong with me, but at the same time it doesn't since I'm still me and now I'm just repeating myself so I'll shut up now...

♛ So, I've come to the realization that I am probably asexual. It feels kind of weird announcing it, but it also feels like something I need to say in order to validate my realization. I know people talk about being asexual and I got the general gist of it, but it weirdly wasn't until I read a tumblr post about asexuality that I understood why I feel so different. I know khv is a pretty open and understanding forum, but some people might find it strange for me to come to this decision when I'm married and whatnot, but you can love someone without wanting to have sex and a lot of people don't understand that. I know I like guys and to a minor extent, i also like women, I even enjoy having sex, but I don't desire it. I never have. If I wasn't married and in a relationship, I wouldn't go out of my way to seek out sex. I just have no desire for it. It's an issue in my relationship that we have dealt with for six years and will have to deal with for the rest of our lives and I always felt like there was something wrong with me for not ever wanting it, but now I fully understand that there are other people out there that relate and even desire intimacy without intercourse and I just feel really relieved somehow. Sorry, this was really out of the blue and ranty and deep, I just needed to get it off my chest.

TL;DR

♛ Koibana! Koiseyo Hanabi
The main character has a male phobia, but she has no justified reason to dislike men. There was nothing traumatic in her past. It was literally the stupidest ****, like "this boy in middle school was belly dancing shirtless and I can't deal with this." But she falls in love with the popular guy by chapter three when he did nothing her earn her affection and is all "you don't like me? Impossible! All the girls like me so I'm going to make you fall in love with me too." He's a dick with no redeeming qualities. He even has a really pretty, sweet, understanding girlfriend yet he does all this stupid stuff with the main character. He then breaks up with the wonderful girlfriend, making you think that he has acknowledged some repressed feelings for the main character and wants to go out with her, but doesn't. He continues to be a dick and just says he doesn't like her, so now he's alone. I think that was the point where I gave up on it. The only good about the manga was a couple of the side characters, one of them being the gay guy I had been looking for - Sasa Yoh. The other side character I really like is this sweet chubby girl (I don't remember her name) that happens to tragically fall in love with the Sasa.

I probably won't go back to reading this. I really wish the manga I had been trying to find was something worth reading. This manga is still ongoing, the translation is at 45, but from what I saw, it ends at 68. That's a lot more garbage to endure just for some side characters.

♛ Good news everyone [insert futurama GIF here]:
Someone on tumblr finally helped me figure our what manga I was looking for and now that I realize why I didn't remember it, I am disappointed because I want nothing to do with it.

♛ I posted my convention photos in case anyone cares. . . not that I would expect you to.

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