I hate you. You just made me spit all over my new monitor.
*flips coin* The coin says truth. EDIT: ToDttB?
oh jesus what I just came in to dare someone to explain how this system thingy works I see Jayn's wall of I-don't-know-what suddenly everything I know is mush
Even though I find it mildly amusing, you may like to know that your current signature has a typo.
Scooped into the pocket of the teen, KHV-tan was jumbled about as her benefactor fought through the crowd, each step threatening to throw her out and towards the unforgiving floor. As Iona forced herself into the writhing mass of shoppers, the pocket closed in on KHV-tan, the struggle between Iona's desperation and the resistance of the laws of gravity crushing her. Every so often, Iona would slip and stumble on the water-coated floor, causing KHV-tan's stomach to lurch. Combined with the blare of the sirens and the growing dampness of the water soaking into Iona's pants, all her senses were assailed. She heard only sirens; she saw only darkness; she felt only walls of dank fabric closing in. Yet despite the deafening noise, despite the lack of sight, despite the tumbling turmoil, she wasn't afraid. She wasn't afraid, because in Iona's face, in her smile, she saw something. It wasn't a perfect smile. It was tinged with worry, uncertainty and a hint of fear, nothing like Faust's confident grins. Even so, it had one thing all of Faust's well-practiced grins couldn't hope to match: sincerity. It was that sincerity, that genuine kindness that won KHV-tan's implicit trust. They burst through the ocean of people, the store alarm adding a further ringing to the cacophony of noise. Light burst into the pocket as Iona's face looked in, her smile reassuring KHV-tan, banishing the horrors of the clothes store to the past. The sheer fact that she checked up on KHV-tan, and actually cared astounded her. Faust took care of her, but, as even KHV-tan had begun to notice, everything he did seemed tinged with malice. The family heirloom aeroplane labelled 'made in China', abandoning her on the roof of an internet cafe, the cancellation of Christmas, and the most recent fight of the shopping mall. Individually, she could brush them off as mistakes, errors or lapses in judgement, but when added together, an unbearable image of her caregiver formed. Only now, when he was contrasted with this girl, did KHV begin to suspect the truth. This brief moment of lucidity would have probably passed. She would have found ways to explain away the bad, and embellish the good. She'd reimagine the face, strained with anger and hatred, pulling at the tree. She'd overlook his look of elation at the chaotic mall. The Christmas cancellation would become a pensioner trying to make ends meet. The abandoning would be a moment of forgetfulness. The plane crash would be a family heirloom after all, or an honest-to-god mistake, or an innocent lie to dress up the truth, or ANYTHING. She'd reinterpret the past, pushing and pulling the facts as much as necessary until Faust could fit the image of the kindly old man she desperately wanted him to be. This could have been her future, had Iona not asked what she did. Inadvertently striking at the moment of insecurity, Iona's question pierced her and forced the petite girl to confront the Faust of reality. "H-h-he's Faust. H-h-he c-c-cares about me and m-makes sure I'm s-safe..." Her voice stuttered and broke as she fought back the tears welling up. "H-he loves me! He has to!" "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Christmas tree fell, and three different voices made themselves heard above the din of screams and shattering glass: Iona's cry to Ryan, Faust's cry to the heavens, and KHV-tan's cry to Faust. Paying no heed to KHV-tan, Iona dashed towards the point of impact, all of her being focused on the one she loved, even as branches, globes, lanterns and life-sized nutcrackers pelted down like meteorites, exploding into flames on impact, igniting shoppers, foliage and freshly-bought clothes alike. Ironically, the lucky ones were those who were in the clothes shop earlier. They had already been soaked, and were thus safe from stray sparks. Others were less fortunate, having purchased woolen pajamas, aerosol sprays and in the worst cases, half-price tanks of gasoline for barbecuing. Within moments, the false fire-alarm had become all too real, and was threatening to engulf the entire store. In that instant, KHV-tan made up her mind: none of them matter. None of Faust's flaws mattered, because he was the only one she could rely on. As he'd always said, he was the only one in the world who'd bother to take care of a freak like her. With anyone else, she'd be locked up and put in a cage in a zoo, or she'd be cut up and studied upon, or she'd be wrapped by a peddler-file. He alone could protect her and give her a normal life. No matter her suspicions, no matter his actions! His arms were the only place she could truly call home. That was the choice she made. The ceiling decorations creaked and groaned; now that their support was gone, only thin wires held them up. One by one they plummeted, colossal planets in comparison to the smaller meteors. Initially hanging just over the tip of the Christmas tree now dangling off-centre by a few threads, the largest decoration of all, an enormous angel, was suspended, its wings extended, its arms crossed, its torso widening out to a hollow dress filled with hundreds of pinpoints of lights, some from modern electricity, others from traditional candles. It was under this ceiling that KHV-tan half-leaped, half-fell from Iona's pocket. Whereas Iona ran towards the tip of the tree, KHV-tan made a stumbling run towards the base, towards her only friend, towards her future. "FAUST!" A wire holding the angel snapped. Three remained. Laughing to the heavens, his arms spread wide, the man turned his gaze from the winged saint and looked at KHV with a sneer. "Oh. You're still alive." Another broke. Tears running down her cheeks, KHV-tan forced a shaky grin. "Yeah. lucky, huh?" The penultimate wire gave way, giving Faust just enough time. "I was thinking more... Boring." In tandem, the final wire and KHV's heart tore and fell. For what seemd like an eternity, over and over, the angel turned, its end blazing. Then with a thunderclap it landed directly over the minute girl, flames licking up from around the edges. The old man stared at what, moments before, had been KHV-tan. His eyes widened, and he took a step back, mouth half open, hands limp at his sides. Slowly he began to process what had just happened. A bitter, stinging feeling he'd almost forgotten began to well up inside of him; a feeling of deep loss. He relished it. After a long while, he snickered, and steadily resumed his maniacal laughter. But ever so often, he'd feel it catch in his throat.
Username: P I am here to: Pay a bribe. B| Anything Else: No. A small glowing ball descended from the clear sky in a spiral motion. It alighted on the concrete, and grew into an undefined, humanoid figure, before rapidly contracting and solidifying into a small, ferret-like creature with large ears, which gained a pink tint. The glowing reduced, leaving only glossy white fur, and two unblinking red eyes. The creature tutted and said to no one in particular, "I know this is supposed to be a hybrid RP, but is this sort of thing really permitted...?" Shrugging, it continued, "I guess I'm about to find out." Kyuubey, or rather, the forumite who had assumed his form, darted behind a bush, re-emerging in the foyer of the chapel. It effortlessly leaped onto the lobby desk, past the sign saying, 'Staff Wanted', landing next to the wooden application box. "Let's see here... Priest, Wedding Planner and Choir Co-ordinator. A priest has a holy contract with God, right? And he also forms two people into a union, and acts as facilitator of the contract of matrimony. The religion thing kinda bugs me, but it's better than anything else this RP has to offer. "Now let's see. How does one contract for this again? Ah, right. The forms." PQB opened a new tab in his browser and highlighted the contact. "Copy and paste." "Filling out..." A sheet of paper materialised mid-air, and text started appearing on it. "Well that was easy enough. Qualifications? Hmm." "That'll do!" PQB smiled; that is to say, his expression did not change. The paper folded and deposited itself into the applications box. "Now to wait for a reply~"
Yes. It is my one true desire. I can only ever marry someone who is in the habit of murdering others with cruel and unusual methods.
I hear you allegedly kill people with rusty pillows. Assuming this is true, will you marry me?
If you give us a week-long extension for the RP Idol final, I will sign up for and regularly post in Heart's Content.
Faust stood agape as the kid not only dodged the trolleys, but also evaded the cascade of displays triggered by the stampede of customers. More importantly, he had absconded with Faust's cane! A low growl escaped the old man's throat. Without thinking twice, he sent his final trolley into a large gathering of mannequins, and without stopping to admire his handiwork, in an instant he was hurtling out of the store, hot on Ryan's trail. Heads turned as a battered and bloody old man ran through the crowd, chasing a teenager fleeing in earnest. "That boy mugged me and stole my cane!" He yelled, as he ran full-tilt after the boy. In return for his efforts, he received a few incredulous looks, as though they couldn't believe that the same man running at the force of a small rhinoceros could need a cane. Cursing loudly, Faust hurriedly readjusted his plan of attack to one independent of others. He eyed the boy's distance to the exit; if he got outside, it'd be game-over. He'd have to start again from scratch, picking a fight with someone else, wasting the preparation that went into this. Normally Faust would give up at this point. He'd take a step back, say he had a good run, and let his prey go. The amount of effort going into keeping it would be far too much. That is, normally. This time was different. This time, the prey had his cane. Faust couldn't make it in time. Ryan would escape if he didn't do anything. Unlike the clothes shop, people were too spaced apart and too skeptical to step in. In a last ditch effort, he altered his course for the central Christmas tree. Getting behind it, he dug his heels in and pushed it towards Ryan. Nothing happened; the tree stayed exactly where it was. Glancing down, he could see the reason: a few feet of the trunk were embedded in the floor, anchoring the botanical behemoth. He gave another push, to no avail, only succeeding in catching a glimpse of two blue-clothed security guards approaching from the other side of the tree. Then, to top it all off, he heard the sound of the sliding doors open. In a last-ditch, all-or-nothing attempt, he gripped the entire trunk in a bear hug, and lifted. Most people have heard tales on the news about how mothers summon super-strength to lift entire cars off of babies in their time of need. Few people believe such stories, and most just write them off as poppycock. There are, however, some believers. But not even these people could guess that the same law of nature that granted a mother super strength in her time of need would also apply to an old men fighting for his cane. But it did. For a long second, the tree didn't move, then as if in slow motion, it rose up. It tottered in Faust's arms for another tick of the clock, giving the security guards just enough time for their faces to dawn with fearful realisation. Then it fell. The tip gracefully descending towards the doors, Christmas balls and other decorations rained down upon the mall. As per laws of fair trade and equivalent exchange, what the tree gave up in decorations, it claimed in people, flattening the two guards against the trunk as a new, grotesque decoration. The tip, however, was still descending towards Ryan, threatening to completely crush him under its five-storey weight. - - - KHV-tan eyed the soaked dress suspiciously. "No thank you. You can have it." she sullenly refused. Likewise, she turned her nose up at Iona's offer of companionship. "I can manage on my own." So saying, she marched out to investigate for herself. The large gathering of mannequins in front of the changing rooms burst apart as a rogue trolley skidded and smashed into them, sending body parts rolling about the floor. When mingled with the blood dripping Faust's face, they painted a darkly horrific scene. KHV-tan tried to call out to him, to state her relief, but her voice caught in her throat. He didn't even notice her, and instead dashed out of the store, leaving KHV-tan to choose between Iona and paraplegic mannequins. KHV-tan turned around and tottered back into the changing room, her face significantly more pale than thirty seconds ago. "A-actually, I'd quite like to come with you.." KHV-tan said shakily. "I'll just hide away in your pocket, okay?"
Well, how else are you supposed to reasonably friend-zone someone? I'm trying to think of something, but my mind's drawing a blank. "Me go out with you? Not a hope in hell." "Sorry dude, but you're forever alone." "No offence, but on the scale of one to ten, you're a negative-four. "Don't worry; you can always adopt!" "I appreciate the gesture, but you might have better luck with a blind chick." "I would go out with you, if you were anyone but you." "Lolno. I can do better." "I'm nowhere near drunk enough to consider you." "The answer is either yes or no. I'll give you a clue: it isn't 'yes'."
Protip: Don't stay up until 4am doing RP Idol entries. You'll gah.
I keep meaning to work out, but it's so easy to procrastinate from it. :/
The crowd let out a collective groan of sympathy as Faust's cane hit home, burying itself in the gut of the teen. "Not so tough now, are ya? Looks like you need that dress more than she does!" Faust stared down at the boy smugly, towering high above him. To the onlookers, it was as though the cripple from a few moments ago had been miraculously transformed, now standing fully upright and prepared. Many of them blinked at the sudden reversal of roles of man and boy. Just a few moments ago, Faust had been on the floor, but no more! Now it was his victory, and a triumph for seniority over the inexperience of youth. The shoppers blinked again, and all of a sudden the positions changed once more. Faust let out a surprised, "Huh?" as he was pulled off his feet, towards the boy. CRACK The old man at once changed velocity as he lopsidedly spun away from the boy, blood spewing from his nose, a gold-plated tooth bouncing on the floor. The crowd gasped as Faust slammed into the opposite wall head-on, leaving a red stain on the off-white plastering. They turned back to see Ryan holding the old man's cane triumphantly, a trophy his victory. High-pitched sirens pierced the air; the crowd's whiplashed back to Faust in an instant. There he stood, clutching a small red box embedded in the wall, giggling. At his feet were shards of glass, in the box, the toggle was flicked down, and on the rim, the word 'FIRE' was engraved in a blistering white. Then the sprinklers hissed, and a thin layer of mist started dispersing throughout the complex, coating the floor with a thin layer of water, steadily soaking everyone to the bone. Shoppers scrambled every which-way, some trying to protect their goods from water-damage, others abandoning their trolleys in favour of making a swift escape. One such lady made a mad-dash to power off the switch, but it did no good; no matter how many times she flicked it up and down, it didn't stem the flow of water. Faust watched her feeble struggle, and guffawing at her efforts, shoved her out of the way, sending her toppling and sliding onto the floor with a sickening crunch. Leaping forward through the chaos, he seized her trolley and launched it towards Ryan. Laughing, he darted from trolley to trolley, sending each one skimming towards the boy, the water granting the carts both speed and madness. - - - KHV-tan pottered away at her creation, oblivious as water began to hiss from the sprinklers outside the changing room. She had just finished putting the finishing touches on her empire, when she noticed a familiar face peering in. Trying to recall where she'd seen her before, KHV-tan said, "Hello, I'm KHV-tan. Who are you?" The fourteen-inch girl offered her hand to the considerably larger one, still trying to clear up the case of deja vu. Then the penny dropped. At once, the entire incident in the shop came rushing back to her, and she remembered why she was there, and who that girl was. Recoiling, falling backwards in indignation, she shouted, "You're that mean girl!" Then, as she felt her rear getting wetter from water leaking under the door, she slowly connected the dots, and the look of anger changed to with one of perplexity. "What's going on out there…?"
I'm sorry dude, but ironic-demunitives>hair. On the other hand, if you have Kamina shades, everything changes. Do you?
Well, my view of anyone when I see them at first tends to be 'who's this guy?' I don't really get impressions of most people unless they do...
Tumblr allows you to ask anonymous questions without signing up, silly. :p Funnily enough, I already have my impressions for you lying around in...
Silly Bushy. You can bombard me with questions any time you like. (Also, I have a tumblr. whenthepikachucry. You can ask on there. Give me some...
Spot on with both. I hang about there so that there's always at least a semblance of activity. And yes, I'm the guy currently running it.
Faust frowned at the boy's words. Things weren't going according to plan. The boy was supposed to take the first strike, and start a brawl, vindicating him. He most certainly wasn't supposed to try to be the bigger man and give some speech. Who did he think he was – Obama? Even now, Faust could hear the whisperings of the crowd evening out, equal amounts of praise and condemnation being given to the boy. In particular, the youth of the store were emerging like lice from woodwork, directing their support to the boy standing up to the old man. Faust seethed, his hand gripping his cane tightly. A small portion of his mind registered that KHV-tan had vanished. He made a mental note to find her later; his life would be considerably more dull if he were to lose his favourite toy. But the portion of his mind processing this was small. Far more important was the obnoxious boy right in front of him, swaying the crowd. He opened his mouth to rebut, then promptly shut it again. The crowd was already set on its decisions. Just like the boys scampering about the Gamestops, proclaiming superiority for their chosen console, there was no way anything said could sway their choices; the teens would support the boy, and the adults would believe in him, no matter what. Faust scoffed at the simplicity of it. He relaxed his grip on the cane, his body sagging, drawing all viewers into the deceit of old-age. He was just a senile old man, eccentric, but ultimately unable to hurt anyone. "Have it your way, boy." he spoke, his voice laced with the tone of one who had realised his folly and surrendered. Then, like a viper, he struck, the end of the staff lashing out towards Ryan's exposed chest. - - - When she'd first entered the changing rooms, KHV-tan had been inconsolable, only wanting to hide away from the world. Somewhere along the line though, 'find a hole to crawl into and die' had become 'create a fort out of pilfered clothes', which led to the situation she was in now, in which the bottom sixteen inches of her stall had some form of garment hanging from it. from wall to wall were XXXXL shirts, forming the roof of her tent, and the floor was made from a rather stunning red towel she'd taken from the gentleman in the stall-one-over. The inner sanctum, on the other hand, was constructed from a stool with a pillowcase placed over it. By the time she was done, she'd almost completely forgotten her turmoil, and was instead humming away to herself as she constructed a monument out of rogue coat-hangers.
