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I think I might go to hell for this one. That is all.

Dedicated to my good friend Rosey\Princess Ariel.

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Photo Shoot​

Zexion chuckled evilly to himself. This was going to be too easy. He'd timed it just right so that there was virtually no way his plan could fail. Everything – from the full moon shining outside of the castle to the absence of all of the other members on their idiotic beetle hunt (he didn't dare to even ask) was just so... perfect!

He rapped on Saïx's door three times, carefully concealing the pocket watch in his robe. He won't see it coming... The full moon always brings him unmeasurable power, but at the same time it severely impairs his mental capability. Exactly what I need on both ends.

The door swung open. The man growled as his sharp yellow eyes narrowed on the smaller male's form. “What do YOU want?!” he demanded.
“I just wanted to say hello...” Zexion chuckled, reaching into his robe inconspicuously. “Is that such a crime, dear Saïx?”
“'Dear' Saïx?” The man sniffed suspiciously. “You're up to something – I just know it.”
“Now what could make you say that?”
“Never mind – just get OUT before I get my BEATING STI—!”

Zexion whirled around, holding up a golden watch attached to a chain. He swung it back and forth slowly and murmured in a quiet, hypnotic voice, “Huuuuushhhhhh, my chiiiiild...” He grinned as Saïx instantly relaxed and stared at the clock, expression blank. “Yoooooou are geeeeetting veeeery sleeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyy...”

“I am... getting... very... sleepy...” Saïx replied.

“Yeeeeessssssss... Feeeeel your eyeliiiiiiids getting heavyyyyyyy...” On impulse, he did a little funky dance – just because he could, making sure to keep the clock waving in front of Saïx's face. “Look into mah eeeyez and what do ya see? Nahnahnahnahnaaaaaahnahnahnuh!”

Silence. Saïx continued staring blankly at the boy.

Zexion rolled his eyes. “What? No applause?”
Saïx began clapping mechanically.
“That's more like it. Now, when I snap my fingers, you'll go into a deep trance and will become anything I tell you to be – got it?”
Saïx nodded dumbly.

Zexion grinned evilly.

Let the games begin...

“Now, listen closely... I want you to become...”

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Xemnas sipped some tea in his study, reading some important-looking documents, suspecting absolutely nothing.

Suddenly, music began blasting around him. He jumped, looking around with wide eyes. “What the...?!”

“To be be, or not to be... NOT!”
The music grew louder.
“Hold up!” The music stopped. “Bring the beat back!”
The music began again, and then shut off once more. “Stop! I ain't ready yet!”
More music.... off. “Wait... Let me fix my hair...!~ Yes!”
The door burst open and someone with their hood pulled up strutted into the room. “I think I'm ready...” they purred.
Xemnas could only blink.

Saïx danced around the room, his hood still drawn and stopped at the open window, posing as if he were a super-model. "Soon as you saw me... Turned on by how the dress was fitting right!~ Short and backless... See my silhouette in the moonlight!~"
Xemnas blinked. “N... Number VII...?” he called out weakly. “I-Is that yo—?”

“Such an attraction...!~” Saïx continued, grinning as he stroked Xemnas's chin in a particularly unacceptable manner. “Keep telling me how my outfit's so nice!~ Little did he know... Heh... You're gonna take it off tonight!~”
Xemnas blinked again – his expression slowly evolving into one of horror. “I-I'm going to WHAT now?!”
Saïx ignored him once more as the music sped up, and he began unzipping his cloak. "(Oh...~) Cause when he acts up... (Oh...~) That's when you put it on... (Oh...~) Been on him up tight...! (Oh...!~) This is your song! (Oh...!~) Hold out your back! (Oh...!~) Time to impress! (OH!~) Pull out your frea-kum DRESS!~"

With that, he flung the two halves of the robe apart, grinning. Xemnas visibly flinched, rolling the large swively-chair back to the wall, feeling as if he was going to throw up. The "Freakum Dress" was little more than fish-net, leather, spikes and belts which was, yes, very revealing, but at the same time, pretty tasteful... for a stripper, that is. Saïx, obviously taking the reaction was a good one, jumped up on the desk, and began swinging his robe above his head, singing joyfully.

"OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ Put your freakum dress on!~ OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ Put your frea-kum! Dress! On!~ OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ Put your freakum dress on! OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ Put your frea-kum! Dress! On!" He dropped to his knees, flung all of the papers off of the desk, and began swinging his hair around to the beat. "OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ Every woman got one!~ OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ Shut it down when the time's come! OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ Pull out the big gun! OOOO-OOO-OOOH!~ And put your frea-kum dress on!"

Xemnas jumped to his feet, his face an alarming shade of scarlet, teeth bared with anger. “Number VII!” he roared. “What has gotten into you – you cut that out THIS minute!”

Saïx smirked up at him, deftly slid off of the table and pushed him back into the chair. He quickly removed one of his belts (thankfully not the ones covering his you-know-whats) and sat on Xemnas's lap forcefully, grinning as he began to strap Xemnas down, against all of his protests and shouting. When he was certain the Superior was held adequately, he gagged him as well.

By now, the music was growing with intensity once more. Saïx began singing again, this time putting some soul into it. By the looks of it, he was giving Xemnas a rather-impressive lap-dance. Xemnas was still infuriated and confused beyond all measure. "All the laaaadieeees, (Oh!~) you wiiiith thiiiis (oh!) and you're dreeeessed up (oh!) in your dreeeeesseeees (oh!), and you're BEEEEST-eeeeest (oh!) with no REEEA-SON? Get REEEEEEEA-DY to FREA-KUM-DRESS-UM!"

He jumped up again and began dancing energetically. "When you put it on it's an invitation!~ When they play your the song get on up and shake it!~"
No comment on what he did at this verse.
"Work it on your man – you don't have to waste it!~ Spin it all around then take it to the ground!"
Again, no comment.

He repeated the dance moves again, singing the exact same verse, and ended up on top of Xemnas grinning slyly. Beyonce's voice rang out behind him as his eyes stared into Xemnas's.

"Ladies look here, when you been with your man for a long time... (oh!~) Every now and then you gotta go back in the closet and pull out that freakum dress... (oh!~)"

Saïx chuckled a bit, trailing a daring finger down Xemnas's chest.
Oh, god... If he even ATTEMPTS to do what I think he is, I swear – I'm neutering ALL of the Neophytes...! Xemnas thought, cautiously eying it.
“I got mah frea-kum dress on...” Saïx cooed idly. “I got mah frea-kum dress on.... (Oh!~)” He then began leaning forward for what seemed to be a kiss. "I got mah frea-kum dress on... (Oh!~) I got mah frea-kum dress on...!~ (Oh...~)"

FLASH!

Oh, thank Kingdom Hearts... Xemnas thought. I've gone blind...!

Unfortunately, Xemnas had not gone blind – the sudden white flash had not come from the disintegration of his eyes but from the flash of... a camera...?

Oh no...

Cackling filled the quiet study as Zexion placed the boom-box delicately on the nearest filing cabinet, and walked over to the two pseudo-lovers, grinning wickedly. “I have to say, Xemnas – that's quite a look for you!” he taunted, pearly whites flashing in the moonlight.
If looks could kill, Zexion would be six-feet under every time Xemnas blinked. Saïx had frozen, a blank expression on his face – probably a part of Zexion's subliminal commands.
“If you're wondering why I did this, well... Hmmm...” Zexion struck a thoughtful pose. “I... Don't really have a reason. I guess I just like having an extra blackmail in file juuust in case the need arises, and I'm running a bit low in your pile...” He shrugged, grinning again. “I guess I might as well stock up wile I'm over here! C'mon, Saïx-Baby – show your Sugar-Daddy some LUV!~”

Saïx sprang back to action again, shoving Xemnas's head to his chest and posing for the camera, a huge grin plastered on his face.

Zexion snapped pictures of the various poses, cackling gleefully as he mentally went over all of the riches he'd most likely score off of this heist. Xemnas could do no more than glare angrily at the camera.

Finally, once Zexion was done exhausting the camera, he yawned and stretched. “Ahhh... Man! It's getting' late!” He grinned once more. “Okay, Xemnas – I'll let you off easily, this time! You! Slave!” he snapped.
Saïx stood up to attention. Xemnas tried his best not to stare at the man's butt (pretty difficult considering that the man was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM with virtually NO pants on!).
“Act out all of the songs you hear on this CD until the batteries run out, and then you may awake from your slumber,” Zexion ordered calmly as he switched the Beyonce CD with one that was marked "Meaningles Internet Songs". He put it on “repeat: ALL”.

He pressed play, and waved to Xemnas daintily. “Byyyyyye, Superior...!~” he cooed, shutting the door behind himself.

Silence for a while.

Suddenly, the radio crackled to life, with a horrid, “TROG-DOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!”

Saïx began head-banging and strumming an air-guitar as he screamed along with the song, his light-blue hair whooshing all over the place.

Xemnas groaned. It was going to be a loooong night.

The End!~

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Um..... I can explain.

Remeber "THAT Time of Month Again?" Remeber the picture mentioned in the first part...? .... Yeah. This be the picture, I guess. XD

This is basically an excuse to give all of my XemSaï watchers a bit o' fanservice... Lolz - IDK.

Songs I used: "Freakum Dress (Saïx starts singing on the second verse.)
"Trogdor (The Burninator)"

That's all. X'DDD

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.