Search Results

Well, I think I've just realized that I am one of those poor saps who falls in love with someone online after having a broken relationship with someone in "real life."

Here's my story...

I joined KHV almost a year ago and, around the beginning of the year was taken in by the [KHV] 358/2 Days Fandub Crew. I stuck with them through thick and thin, making friends, supporting my new friends, contributing to the dub, coming up with solutions to problems... You get the picture. But, I got one thing that I didn't bargain for.

As many of you have probably been witness to, relationships can suck. I mean, MAJORLY BAD times, right? So, I think that it goes without saying that any guy in his late teens who has any charisma or assertiveness can go out and attempt to get a girlfriend. Apparently, I'm more physically attractive than I thought, because a girl who I had met once or twice saw me at a cafe/market on my computer, playing MapleStory and decided to come over.

She wasn't the picture of my "perfect partner." Heck, she was a ways away from that! But, as I was 18 and, (gasp), had never had a girlfriend before, (I lived in a group home for 90% of my life, so you can't blame me), I started getting a little giddy when she started hitting on me. I kept blushing and giggling like an idiot as she kept brushing her knees against mine. We hooked up a little less than a week later. That was in August of 2008.

In November, we broke up. She had her issues, and I had mine. Thing was, I felt fine about it. The relationship had been growing more and more distant for the last few weeks and we both decided to separate. Two weeks after we broke up, I started really feeling the hurt. At the end of those two weeks, I was in a crisis house and she was in a mental hospital. We had both gone slightly insane after we went our separate ways. So, the week of Thanksgiving was spent in a crisis house for me. I got out the Saturday after and stayed at a friend's house. Then, I went home. Done. I was still hurt. But I was fine. I would live.

In January/February of 2009, Mike, (Reporter/Video Producer for KHV), started a project that piqued my interest. It was a fandub group that would dub the Japanese scenes from the then upcoming release, Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days. I joined, as I pride myself in being able to act fairly well. I met all kinds of people. Mike and I, as well as several others, starting chatting and planning right off the bat. It was great!

Then, near the beginning of summer, some things started happening, not only with the dubbing group, but in my life, as well.

I had been single for going on six months. I had jokes with people about how I'd get my "perfect partner" as my next girlfriend.

I didn't.

I had known a girl for a while who was going out with someone who I thought was a friend, (please, don't ask). They had been going out for a while, but, like me and my first partner, this girl and her first partner were starting to grow apart. So, they broke up. Then, as I had hung out with the guy for a while before the two had been together, I started hanging out with the girl. We fell in love and are still together.

But, even in love there might be problems.

I, apparently, am a little too flirtatious. I just realized a few days ago why it was that I hadn't been updating things on my forum accounts and MySpace/Facebook, etc. I have a crush on someone who doesn't come on much anymore. She was fun to talk to and I'm starting to realize that I am obsessed with her. It's not like I'm going to track her down, or anything creepy. She's fascinates me. I don't know how many of you have seen the movie "American Beauty," but I feel a lot like Ricky must have felt about Jane. Minus the creepy video recording crap. Hell, take the camera out, completely! At one point during the movie, Jane confronts Ricky and says, "You were the creepo who was video taping me last night." Ricky just smiles and says something like, "Don't take it personally. I find you interesting." And he walks away. That sums up how I feel about this girl. It sometimes comes across as, "Whoa! What the hell? That's creepy!" I can assure you -- it's not.

So, I have three questions that I'd like to leave open to you, the forum-goers of KHV:

1.) How can I keep from getting into harmful relationships? I want to meet new people and maybe become close to some of them, but I don't want to get hurt again. My very first girlfriend was kinda, shall we say, "unstable." I don't plan on dating a nut-case again. Unless they're lovable. *glances at current girlfriend*

2.) How can I deal with the emotional spiral downward after breaking up with someone with whom I've just had a really intimate/emotional relationship? Once again, I don't want to get hurt that badly again, if I can help it.

3.) What should I do about my "crush?" I know that crushes are natural, but what about when you're already with another person? I want to be faithful to my girlfriend, but I have feelings for someone else! I have so little experience with this kind of feeling that it's like being lost in the woods on a moonless, starless night with no map or flashlight.

By the way, I refuse to tell who it is to anyone I don't trust, so keep these things in mind before you ask:

1.) Are you in my friends list?
2.) Did you know me in March of 2009?
3.) Do I talk to you on a regular basis?

That should about do it! If I have anything else, I'll just either post it in this thread or edit this post!

Discussion opened!

- Ol'Sephy