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OH MAI.

AMBER'S INTO THE RAUNCHY STUFF, YA'LL!

*boot'd to the face* X.x;;;

Can't you just make one for me...? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE...? *uses hypno-eyez of dewm*

Your new name scares me for some odd reason...

Anyways, thank you, Megatron! ;w; It's a pleasure and an honor getting a personal comment from you. And, don't worry. I am... fairly certian that this is as bad as it gets. X'DDD If I'm not banned by now, then I'm happy. Thank again, grl! ;w;

No. =C I can't download things on my computer because Vista is teh sux.

Well, it's not like there's a rule saying that I can't do that. ._.;

People to hetero pairings all the time. Why can't I pick on yaoi and\or mpreg, as well? XD

Cursing? =3

Yeah... If I'm not banned for it first. X'DDD

Oh fuk not another one.

Lolz... You guys are funny. I kinda feel like a jerk for not replying to the comments people left afterwards, but I was actually gone, off to DeviantART without the slightest intention to come back. Like... At all. But, yeah... As I said before, it's a lot easier to upload stuff on here and then DA, and it'd be stupid for me to skip over KHV just because of a bruised ego, so, yeah... I'm back, more or less... If only for uploading stories.

Whatever.

Um.... If it's at all possible... The second part will be even more disturbing than the first. X'DDD So, kiddies, avert your eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sinking In​

Luxord collapsed back on the bed, panting with delight. “Hehheh... Love... Ya know, if you just wanted some alone time with me, you COULD'VE just asked...” the blonde chuckled softly.
“I know...~” Xigbar purred innocently, drawing circles idly on Luxord's stomach, feeling extremely pleased with himself...
“... This still doesn't change anything, though...” Luxord sighed, shaking his head as the two pulled on their clothes once more. “I still remember the way you threw Marluxia and his little mate out of here! That wasn't nice at all!”
Xigbar laughed. “Well, ya know what WOULD be nice? The breakfast I didn’t get to eat because SUUUUUM-body had to get all touchy-feely with a dude’s stomach!”
“Oh… Yeah… That…”

Luxord’s stomach lurched. “I’ll… get the peanut-butter and mayo ready…”
“Mmmm…” Xigbar struck a thoughtful position. “I… Don’t think that I’m in the mood for peanut-butter and mayo right now, Luxxy…”
The blonde blinked. “You’re NOT?!” Oh thank heavens…! He grinned. “Well then, what’ll it be, Xigbar?”
“How about instant Ramen-noodles and syrup?” The Freeshooter chirped.
“SAY WHAT?!?!?!”

Xigbar went on, not quite noticing the horrified look on Luxord’s face. “Yeah… That’s what I’m in the mood for… Ya know, I’d rather have blueberry, but I think I can settle for maple!” He grinned a little.
Luxord smacked his forehead, and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Whatever you say, honey…” he grumbled.
“I knew you’d find it appetizing!~” Xigbar sang with a laugh as he grabbed Luxord hand and portalled them both off to the kitchen.

************************************​

Xigbar raided the refrigerator once more, his butt sticking in the air. “Ya know, Luxxy, I actually can’t make up my mind about what I wanna eat… I’d have to say it’s a tie between the Ramen and noodles I mentioned earlier and cereal with ketchup.”

Luxord felt like he was going to hurl. “Ugh…!” he groaned, pressing his hand to his mouth. “J…Just pick somethin alright?”
“But I can’t CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE…!” Xigbar whined.
“FINE, FINE!” Luxord snapped at last. “J…Just go with what you had before, alright?! The Ramen and syrup.”
Xigbar smirked, pulling out some leftover Ramen from the fridge. “What – don’t like ketchup?” he cooed, searching through the pantry for syrup.
Luxord rolled his eyes. “Not on my cereal…” he grumbled to himself.
“What was that?”
“Nothin’…”

Xigbar was busying himself with pouring water into the bowl of Ramen noodles, and then stuck it into the microwave for six and a half minutes. He was idly singing, “Cooking is so fun...!~ Cooking is so fun...!~ Now it's time to take a break, and see what we have done...!~”

He turned back to Luxord, arms crossed as the microwave hummed peacefully behind him. “Well, if ya ask me, it—DAMNIT!!!”
Luxord flinched as the man smacked his hand on the counter, snarling. “THIS IS TAKING TOO ****IN’ LONG! I want the food NOW!” He turned on Luxord suddenly, his eyes blazing with insane fury. “MAKE IT GO FASTER!!!”
“YES, HONEY!” the terrified blonde replied, ducking as if he were afraid he might get smacked. Using his powers of time, Luxord sped the microwave up by at least twelve times. The seconds flew by rapidly around the little microwave until—

Zing!

Xigbar squealed a bit. “YAY! It's ready!~”

He pulled open the microwave, took his noodles, and ran over to the sink to pour out the liquid. Then, he dumped the flavor package all over it, and topped it all off with a thick, blueberry syrup. He mixed it a bit, and shoved a forkful in his mouth. “Mmmmm-MMMM! DAMN – I should have my own cooking show!” he exclaimed, a huge grin plastered all over his face. He looked over at Luxord. “It's good! See? Try some! I like to have second opinions before I jump into major career decisions.”

Luxord laughed nervously. “Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – no, no, no, mate. I'd better leave it all for you... A-After all, you ARE eating for two... Er... Carbohydrates and protein and all of that rubbish—”
Xigbar's eyes narrowed into slits. “I SAID, ‘Eat the damned food’!” he growled. “It'll make me feel like less of a fat *****.”
Luxord whimpered a bit, and gulped. Well, looks like there's no getting out of it... he thought glumly to himself. Might as well get this bloody over with...

The man took the fork, shuddered for a brief second, and then shoved it into his mouth. Suddenly, his eyes bulged and his face began turning all sorts of alarming colors.
“I know!” Xigbar cried. “THAT good, right?!”
Luxord swallowed forcefully and shot him a queasy thumbs-up sign. “Um... Yes, love. It was... Erm... Outrageous.”
“RIGHTEOUS! Hey – where're ya goin'?” Xigbar asked as the blonde quickly began ducking out of the kitchen.
“Oh, erm... Uh... I-I just need a minute or two in the bathroom to throw u—I-I mean, uh... Well... Yeah – so that I can throw up.” He quickly sprinted off. “BYE!”
Xigbar gasped. “Don't tell me you're pregnant, too!” he cried after Luxord.

Luxord pretended not to hear. He dashed down the hallway, plowing down Roxas, who was randomly wandering down the halls with a, “Move, *****!”
Roxas stared after him. “What the…?!”

Back in the kitchen, Xigbar shrugged and continued wolfing down his meal. It wasn't long before a portal opened up behind him. The man grinned and turned around. “Hey, Lux! You're back already?”
A laugh. “Wrong blonde.”
Xigbar rolled his eyes in a good-natured fashion, and went back to chowing down. “Oh. Hey, Larx. Good to see ya, girl.”
The blonde waltzed over to the fridge and popped it open. “Hey, Zebra-Head. I just came back from a freakin' Heartless-killin' binge, so I am STARVED! What do you recommend?” she yawned as she idly poked through the items inside.

Xigbar grinned. “Well, how about some of this kick-assed Ramen noodle and blueberry syrup stuff that I just made? It's TOTALLY wicked.”
Larxene blinked, and turned around, her expression incredulous. “D...did you just say... Ramen noodles and SYRUP?!”
“Blueberry syrup. Want some?”
He's pulling my leg. He's GOT to be. The blonde rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sure. But first, how about a batch of nachos and some chocolate? My treat.”
“Mmmmm... That sounds GREAT!” Xigbar laughed, much to her surprise. “Buuut, I don't wanna let myself go TOO much...”

Larxene made a horrified face. “.... EW!” she cried. “Dude, what are you ON?!” she cried. “That is DISGUSTING!!! Do you need to get checked up by Vexen or something?!”
Xigbar was stunned. “What? What's wrong, Larxene?”
“YOU! What – did you fall down a flight of stairs or something?! I mean, look at what you're ****ing eating!”
Xigbar looked down at his food, then back up at Larxene, his expression akin to the calm before a storm. “.... What? This...?” he asked quietly, nodding down at the plate.
“YES, that! Ew – it even smells GROSS!” Larxene pinched her nose. “Honestly, Xigbar if you're going to—”

A resounding crash echoed through the kitchen.

************************************​

Demyx swayed to and fro as he walked through the corridors of the hallway, bobbing his head and doing a little jig as he listened to his iPod. “If I could escape... I would – but, first of all, let me say...~ I must apologize for acting stank an treating you this way...~ Cause I've been actinglikesourmilkallonthefloor!
It'syourfaultyoudidn'tshutthere-frig-er-a-tor; maybethat'sthereasonI'vebeenactingso COOOOOOOOOOLD?!~”

He began twirling a bit with his song. “If I could escape...~ (Escaaape...!~) And recreate a place as my own world!~ (Own wooo-ooorld...!~) And I could be your favorite giiiiirl, forever!~ Per-fect-ly to-ge-ther!~ Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet? (Sweet Escape...~) If I could be sweet...~ (Beee sweeeet...~) I know I've been a real bad girl...!~ Bad giiiirl...!~ (I'll try to change...) I didn't mean for you to get hurt...!~ (Whatsoever...) We can make it better... Tell me boy, wouldn't that be sweet?~ (Sweet Escape...!~) Wooooo-hoooo... YEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOO!~”

Suddenly, something whizzed past his nose. The boy gasped and automatically dove underneath a table. “Wh-What the—?! Was that a wasp or something?!”

He took out his ear-plugs, but instead of hearing the ominous buzzing sound, he heard screams and objects whistling through the air at impossible speeds, and guns being fired and plates being smashed...

“...The heck...?!”
“DEMYX!!!” someone screamed.
“Larxene?!” the boy squeaked. One of the tables at the far-end of the kitchen as turned over. He could faintly make out her blonde antennae poking up from behind it. He could see Xigbar's bullets scattered all about, but if the Freeshooter was around, he was sure doing a better job at hiding than Larxene was. There was also a huge, dark-greenish stain on the wall next to Larxene's fort.
“No – it's Elvis. YES it's Larxene! Now get over here if you wanna live! And stay DOWN!”

The boy scrambled over all fours almost like a spider-monkey in Deep Jungle as the woman continued glancing around for signs of trouble. When he was finally relatively safe behind the table-fort, he whimpered, “Wh-What did you DO, Larxene?!”
“I didn't do NOTHIN'!” the girl snapped, making Demyx wince even more.
“Then how'd he get so angry?!”
“Look, Demyx – all I did was inform the guy that Ramen noodles and blueberry syrup does NOT go together in Larxene land!”
Demyx blinked, eyes wide. “R...Ramen noodles and WHAT, now...?”
She sighed, shaking her head. “Just do NOT ask. Please.”

Suddenly a plate crashed on the floor right beside them, and the two pressed themselves on the wall, looking scared stiff. “You little *****!” Xigbar ground out from the ceiling, a stack of plates held in his hand.
“**** – he's on the ceiling again...” Larxene sighed.
His red, puffy eyes made him sort of seem like he'd been crying recently. “I ****ing HATE you!!!”

CRASH!

Larxene was barely able to dodge that one. “Xigbar, you ******-***! STOP ACTING LIKE A WHINY ***** AND GET DOWN HERE!”
“I don't think you're helping!” Demyx cried meekly.
Larxene huffed angrily.

“What are we supposed to do, though?!” Demyx cried, shielding his head from the rain of plates smashing all around them. Luckily, Xigbar was too upset to notice his aim was wildly inaccurate. “He won't listen to us!!!”
Larxene smirked. “That's where YOU come in handy, dear Waterboi,” she giggled maliciously.
“Wait – wha—AGHHH!!!”

The boy gave a panicked squeal as the woman suddenly rushed up behind him and snatched him up by the hair, holding a fistful of kunai at his throat. She grinned up at Xigbar viciously. “Yo, Xig! Hold your fire or else the Waterboi won't live to make another composition!”
Demyx gulped a bit. “L-Larxene, what are you—?!”
Larxene tightened her grip. “Quiet, you...” she ground out between her teeth.

There was silence for a while. Finally, Xigbar teleported to the ground, scowling. “Holding hostages? That's low, even for YOU, Larxene...”
“Don't flatter yourself,” Larxene chuckled cordially as she shoved Demyx away. “I wasn't GOING to hurt the twerp. I just figured it'd be the only way I could get you down without frying your ass MYSELF.” She clicked her teeth together smartly, to emphasize her point.
“Let's see you fry THIS!” Xigbar howled, flinging another plate at her.
Larxene's instantaneous response to blast the plate to bits was more instinct than a conscious decision. She blinked as she realized just what'd happened, and growled angrily. “Why, you little—!”

“No! Stop!” Demyx cried, scrambling between them. Suddenly, he took out a random, green hat with a light blue plume hanging off of the top, held it right below his chin, hunched over, and gave the cutest, saddest, most INNOCENT little pouty face the world has ever known. “C...Can't we all just get along...?” he whimpered softly.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~”

Suddenly, Xigbar dropped all of the plates with a loud CRASH
and rushed over to the blonde, immediately wrapping him up in an EXTREMELY uncomfortable hug, and squealed, “Awww – he's so CYUTE! 'Course we can get along, lil' dude!”
“Y... Yay!” the boy squeaked as best as he could with Xigbar nearly squeezing him to death like that.
Larxene blinked, and scratched the back of her head with a kunai, completely baffled. “What the... Weren't we in a bloodthirsty fight-to-the-death just a second ago...?” she wondered aloud.

The two didn't have any time to respond, because in the next split second, Larxene found herself pinned on the wall by five VERY sharp spears with a strangled, “ACK!”
Xigbar and Demyx gasped, and Xigbar immediately let the boy drop back to the floor harmlessly.

Suddenly, a portal opened up in the room, and Xaldin stepped through, looking around anxiously. “What was that? Did I hear Demyx scream just now? What happened?”
“XALDIN, YOU IDIOT!” Larxene roared like a feral beast. “Do you ALWAYS have to stab first and ask question later?!”
“Apparently, yes,” the man replied, rolling his eyes and heading straight over to his precious Waterboy. He bent over and began examining his face for any bruises. “What happened? Are you hurt? She didn't hurt you or anything, did she?”
The boy giggled pleasantly. “No, no, Xaldy – I'm fine. Really!”

Larxene finally managed to pull herself away from the lances pinning her to the wall, and growled with anger. “Okay – I have had ENOUGH of this crap. Obviously, you guys are drinkin' some kinda PMS juice or somethin' today, so, as my pals, I'll let y'all off with a warning. But I wouldn't push my luck if I were you, the next time.”
Xaldin rolled his eyes, and helped Demyx up so that he was giving the younger boy a piggy-back ride. “Wouldn't DREAM of it, Larxene,” he replied, knowing good and well that she'd NEVER try anything with him.
The girl huffed, and portalled off.

By the time the last wisps of darkness had gone, Luxord came back in the room, queasily rubbing his stomach. “Sorry that took so long, love...” the man sighed. “Couldn't find the bloody mouthwash... What'd I miss?” He blinked, looking around the wrecked kitchen. “… What the bloody hell…?!”

“Long story short, Larxene came; she made fun of me; I got angry and started throwing things; Demyx popped out of nowhere; she held him hostage; he acted really cute; I stopped fighting; Larxene was confused; Xaldin stabbed her to the wall; she got mad and went off; and now they’re confused,” Xigbar answered helpfully.
“Yup. That’s about it,” Demyx added.
“Uh-huh.” Xaldin nodded.
“Ah.”
Xigbar sighed, rubbing his head. “All of this freakin’ excitement is giving me a ****ing headache, too. I need a drink…”

He opened a portal to Port Royal, grinning at Luxord. “You comin’ with, Lux?”
Luxord gaped at him. “A… A DRINK?! What the HELL, mate?! You’ve got a ****ing baby on board! You can’t drink alcohol!”
Xaldin and Demyx shot each other confused glances as Xigbar tried to comprehend what Luxord had just said. “… No… RUM?!” he exploded. “Why the **** NOT, damn it?!”
“Xigbar, think of our CHILD!” Luxord cried, standing his ground. “I know that nine months of rum will be a… a struggle, but—”
“Nine months without RUM?! Oh, no. Oh HELL no!”
“Xigbar, do you want our child to DIE?!” Luxord cried, exasperated. “Now, c’mon. I’ll fix you up with a milkshake if you want.”
“B… But…! BUT!”

With a pitiful wail, Xigbar threw himself on the ground, whining about how great rum was and how much he WANTED it, and how he’d freaking jump off a BUILDING if he didn’t get his rum, and… so on and so forth.
“NO!” Luxord cried. “I am PUTTING my foot down, okay! I can handle the… ‘unique’ cravings, and the mood-swings, and even the rather painful kicks to the face, but THIS is where I draw the line!”
“But I WAN’ it…!” Xigbar whined, basically a skip, hop, and jump away from bursting into tears. “C’mon, dude! The kid is practically gonna be freakin’ BORN with a rum bottle to his lips anyway!” The man clinged to Luxord’s foot, grinning nervously. “Why not just save ourselves the struggle of trying to be a good example?”
“Be. Cause. We. Will. KILL it! No. No rum. End of discussion. Now, Xigbar, would you like Strawberry or vanilla?” Luxord chirped, changing the subject abruptly.
“Awww…!” Xigbar groaned, slumping on the ground. He sniffled a bit. “Oh well… I guess I’ll have Vanilla… Ooh! Extra pickles, please?”
“Er… Coming right up.”
“And I want strawberry!” Demyx piped up, grinning, the entire, bizarre conversation apparently gone from his mind.
“And I want an explanation!” Xaldin apparently wasn’t as distracted by the promise of the milkshakes.

Luxord sighed, scooping the ice cream into tall, slender glasses. “All will be explained in due time, Xaldin – don’t worry yourself. Now… Which flavor do ya want?”

************************************​

Xigbar lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. “So… I guess I really AM pregnant, huh…?” he asked softly.
Luxord shrugged, smiling at him. “Well, it seems like it… You have all of the symptoms and things… It’s obvious! Why deny it any longer?”
Xigbar sighed. “Yeah… I guess…” A pause. “So, uh… Who tops tonight?” he asked with a sly grin.
Oh, **** yeah! Luxord was already getting hot at the very MENTION of a dominance fight. “Well, I AM your baby’s daddy…!~” he purred. “C’mon, luv – let’s not spoil the mood by puttin’ up a nasty ol’ fight…!~”
Xigbar’s eyes flashed with malice. “Lux, you know good and well that I never give up a fight…”
Luxord purred a bit, grinning slyly. “Just the way I like it…!”

After a while of deep, hungry kisses and desperate touches, and even a bit of rough play, Xigbar suddenly sat up with a gasp, clutching his stomach. “OW! Luxord, you BAST—Have you FORGOTTEN that I’m with child here?! You can’t go punchin’ me in the pseudo-ovaries like that!”
Luxord gasped as well. “S…Sorry, mate – I don’t know my own bloody strength, I suppose! Don’t even recall hittin’ you there—”
Xigbar was pouting slightly right now. He folded his arms. “Luxord, I don’t think this is going to work…” he sighed.
“W…Wait… I… Wha’… WHAT?! Wh-why NOT luv?!” Luxord shrieked. “I-I-I… We’ve already begun… But WHY NOOOT?!”
“Duh, dude. It’s like, basic knowledge. To have sex, we have to have a dominance fight. Our dominance fights are WAY too rough, and the kid, or whatever, that’s inside of me will probably get, like, brain damage or… something. I ain’t no ****in’ *****, so it’s not like I’m just going to roll over and let you top me, but it’s not like I could expect you to do it, either… I mean, later on when I have, like, ACTUALLY, like, a huge stomach and stuff, and I’m trying to **** you… Yeah. That’d totally be awkward.”
Luxord shuddered at the very thought.
“Plus, it’s just no fun without a fight,” Xigbar finished.

“S…So what are we going to do…?” Luxord whimpered.
The Freeshooter shrugged, and began reading a magazine casually. “It’s simple. No sex.”
Luxord was a skip, hop, and jump away from gouging his own eyes out. He sank down on the bed like a deflated balloon. “N…No SEX?! For how long?!”
“Oh… Iunno, dude… Nine months or… however damned long it’s gonna take for this lil’ dude to finally drop out…”
“But, love, that’s IMPOSSIBLE!!!” Luxord shrieked. “How the hell are we supposed to bloody SURVIVE?! How am I supposed to survive?! HOW?!?!”

Wrong. Thing. To do.

Xigbar was upon him in a second. “I can’t ****ing BELIEVE this!” he exploded suddenly. “I’M the one who’s having a ****ing baby right now – or have you forgotten that?!” He waved the magazine around mockingly. “Ohhhh, BOO-HOO! Luxord has to go nine months without sex!” His voice rose to an ear-piercing shriek that literally seemed to shake the rafters of the castle. “I HAVE TO GO NINE MONTHS WITHOUT SEX, TOO, YOU ****ING BABY! The only ****ing difference is that I’M not throwing a ****ing ***** fit about it like SOMEONE else in this room! And need I remind you that I am the one who has to have the ****ing baby in the FIRST place, you *******?! It’s all about YOU, isn’t it?! It's ALWAYS been about you!”

“I’m sorry, luv – please calm down…” Luxord squeaked, fearing for his testicles. “Just please – calm down and come back to bed – I-I won’t mention it again.”
“Damn straight you won’t…” Xigbar huffed, throwing down his magazine, and pulling the blanket up to his chin. He rolled over, and glared at the wall, smirking a bit as Luxord gave a small, heart-broken sigh, turned off the lamp beside his bed, and sank back under the blankets as well. THAT was for the rum, *****.

Silence for a long while. Xigbar was about to nod off due to the eventful day, when Luxord asked out of nowhere, “Hey, um… Xigbar…?”
“Hmmm…?”
“… Just… to be certain… You’re not planning on breast feeding… Right…?”

A sharp squeal as Xigbar’s foot “accidentally” planted itself in a rather sensitive area of Luxord’s body.

************************************​

Xigbar woke with a start, his breathing raspy and irregular. “Oh, ****…” he gasped softly, stumbling out of bed as quickly as his sluggish mind would allow.
Luxord stirred a bit. “Huh…? Xigbar? Where are ya off to, luv…?”
Xigbar ignored him completely, rushing to the bathroom as fast as his legs could take him with his hand pressed to his mouth franticly. He kicked open the bathroom door, just barely making it to the toilet in time, and began retching dreadfully.
Luxord winced slightly as he heard Xigbar’s hysterical gasping for breath and muttered, “Oh, God… Oh, God… Oh, God…” before another wave hit and he began spewing yet again.

He climbed out of bed, stood by the door awkwardly, and knocked a bit. “Um… Ah… Xigbar…? You okay in there, luv…?”
Another stomach-churning retch, and then a weak, “L…Luxord…? That you, dude…?” A cough.
“Y…Yeah…” Luxord stepped inside, trying not to let the smell of vomit get to him. He was always admittedly kind of a lightweight, and sometimes it didn’t take much at all to make him start hurling. He was pretty sure that vomiting along with Xigbar wouldn’t help much, though. Since the blonde couldn’t imagine the smell being much better for Xigbar, he decided to turn on the vent. Then, as kind of an afterthought, he began rubbing Xigbar’s back. “It’s… It’s okay… Everything’s going to be okay, alright…?”

Xigbar jerked away from him, frowning bitterly. “N…No…” he protested weakly. “You need to go. Like… Now, dude… I don’t want you to see me like this…”
Luxord couldn’t help but crack a tiny grin at this. “What? Bent over a toilet puking your bloody guts out? I think you’re forgetting all of the times you’ve stumbled in from the bar, mate…”
“Not LIKE that!” Xigbar insisted, wiping his mouth with a wad of toilet tissue. “… This is… different… At least, all of those times in the bar, it was worth it – more or less… At least, I could make a freakin’ choice, and every time the hangover could come around, I could say to myself ‘Ohhhh, Xigbar, you idiot, what were you thinking? You got wasted and ya have to pay the price’… But… THIS?! Why the ****ing hell do I have to DEAL with this?! I didn’t DO anything wrong – it was never my choice to have all of this crazy **** happen! Why do I have to go through all of this for a ****ing kid I didn’t even want to have?! A kid I SHOULDN’T have…?”

Luxord sighed, and gently rubbed the older man’s back as he retched again, sobs racking his body. “****ing DAMNIT, Lux…!” he sniffled as he flushed the toilet. “I… I’m too old for this ****…! Damnit, for all we know, this kid won’t even ****ing come out right…! I… I don’t know how much of this I can take…”
“Xigbar, listen to me,” Luxord interrupted, staring into the Freeshooter’s eyes. “Listen to me… you don’t have to do it all alone, okay…? I’ll be here with you every step of the way… And, luv, if anyone could pull this stunt off, it’s you. Screw your age – you are the strongest out of the two of us, okay?”
Xigbar nodded weakly, and held onto Luxord tightly. “You really think so, dude…?”
“I know so… Now, come on – if you’re strong enough to stand, I can help you over to the sink and we can brush your teeth, and then we'll go to bed…”
“L…Luxord…? Thanks a lot, dude…”

The Gambler of Fate grinned. “No problem… My baby’s momma.”
Xigbar rolled his eyes and smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Told ya. Eee-yup.

...I have to say, I'm not entirely pleased with this one. I kinda had to SQUEEZE it out instead of it just... flowing. Aaaand I might've gone over-board with some parts... It just isn't funny to me. then again, my own stuff rarely makes me laugh, so I'll just leave it for ya'll to decide.

Also, yes. Before anyone asks, Xigbar was never planning to actually have sex with Luxord. He just led him on like that, and then faked the punch to the stomach so that he'd have an excuse to stop abruptly because... Ya know... He's a lil' beestird. XD I wouldn't count on the no sexin' thing, though. He'll probably hold out for about 2 day and then crack.

But, I digress - no more fake sexin' scenes, okay? XD I promise. Or at least, I promise for now. X'DDD

Gr...GRADIENTS?! How u do those? DDD8>

;~; *cries and slits wrist*

Lolz request 2b friends plz. :) Liek ttly.

... H...How'd you get your profile page so awesome?! ;~;

Well, in my fandom, the excuse for him being all stoic-faced in CoM because he was worried about what would happen to Demyx when he found out that he wouldn't come back (he kinda has an insight about people dying, and he knew someway that going to Castle Oblivion would doom him, too.) That's my story for it.

But, look at it this way - if he were a psycho killer, they'd never call him "The Silent Hero", now would they? =\

And, if you couldn't tell, I was in no mood for joking when I wrote this.

Thanks for the compliment... In this, everyone's a bit out of their element, so things are a bit skewered... Much like how I was feeling when I wrot it... But I'm a bit better now... Still confused, but better.

Yeeeah - there's a HINT of slash in there, but in my (official - RPs don't count, and neither does my Xilord story. XD) fandom, there are no real pairings in the Organization. So don't worry too much. XD (But, yeah - XalDem is one of my huge guilty pleasures\weaknesses, though it's never really been articulated before... At least not on KHV.)

Thanks for the compliment, though! ^^

Ehhhhhh.... I kinda cheated... This was something I was going to write for a friend a while ago, but I just kept putting it off... Just couldn't get in the mood, ya know? And then, life threw a huge freaking curve-ball at me, and... I just KNEW I had to do it. But I'm kinda mad at myself... It was so much better in my head, but I just needed to freaking get it OUT there - I couldn't do anything much with the quality... *sigh*

Whatever... Life moves on... I'd be thrilled to do another, but, like I said, I've been kinda hesistent to do anything now that 358\2 Days is out now... I think I'd lose it if some random person went up to me and said, "HAY! THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE <BLAHBLAHBLAH> AND <YADAYADAYADAXIONYADAYADAYADA>--"

Ooh... OOH. I'd lose it. I would. I don't want ot have to go through that. Not now. >.>;;;

Yeah - I can't say that my life is as hard as Demyx's was in this fanfiction - not by a long shot - but I do feel like... everything I've ever loved it spinning out of control. My father figure has died in my eyes, and all that's left over is maddening silence that I try to fill with music, but there isn't a song in the universe that can accurately describe what I'm feeling right now.

Thank you. XD If i could be arsed, I'd change my bio, buuuut... I really don't give a damn. XD

Wow... That's different. X'DDD No one's ever been confused about that before. X'DDD