k .
Thank you for the sentiment. If it hasn't already been established I think that you're a very respectable person, and I believe you should be on this poll.
If that was allowed I would love you forever. However there is a ridiculously small window of staff letting this happen, and it makes me sadfaec. I don't write much more than poetry anyhow, so I sort of saw this coming. Thanks though.
It seems as though I'm not on this poll. It looks like that's... ...all she wrote.
Gonna have to go with Wolfie on this.
Who the hell knows.
GUYS LET'S MAKE A POLITICS THREAD AND MAKE ANGRY CLAIMS AT ALL NEWS CASTS BASED ON THE ONES WE'VE BEEN WATCHINGa
Brool Story Co.
The line "but also the beginning" messed with the entire rhythm you had going throughout the entire thing. There were a couple other lines that did that in the poem but it's generally a good idea to try and not do that.
I saw "game", "finish" and "Fayt" and got excited. I leave disappoint.
Not a lot, man. What about you?
Knowing that you're new to poetry, this was handled very well. It was basic and you didn't try to do too much with it and make it perfect in everything (as a lot of people here tend to do (myself included)). It was carefree and simple and it succeeded in being what it was trying to be, or at least seems to, which is just as good.
Not sure if I should be offset or flattered. >>
When I saw this I had to check if it was the necklace that I bought you. xD;
Because they drop rhymes like bombs in the Middle East
But I'm not sure what to write What do?
Cyclical Spring is blooming with the flowers, And love cannot be constrained. It all starts with words that sing like the birds And feelings that I will never be the same; And everything's changed. Spring intercesses to Summer, And love will forever remain. Hearts beat to the rhythm of laughter and glee; Lying down in the grass in that beautiful plain And nothing has changed. Summer gives way to the Fall, And with it our love starts to change. You gave it all up and I fell with the love; I fell into sadness, despair and disdain, All in your name. Fall intercedes into Winter, And the frostbite reminds me of pain. Your whispering words that sing like the birds Are gone with the Fall, and nothing remains. And I feel the same. Winter leads back to the springtime, And love cannot be constrained. It all starts with words that sing like the birds And feelings that things I will never be the same; And everything's changed.
Okay, the first thing I noticed was OH MY GOD WALL OF TEXT. I usually add an extra line break between each paragraph to stop this, and a rule of grammar is that you start a new line break every time a character speaks of dialogue; it helps very much so and is easy to implement. While we're on the subject of rules of grammar, you seem to have missed a lot of them and it makes the story difficult to follow for myself. Of course, this may be the way you handled it, I didn't like how it flowed at the beginning with "no one understands me" and then immediately afterward "well except these guys but they don't understand me either. Overall I like the concept, but you could work on your delivery and it would help beyond all belief.