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I'm, taking this from an actual site, can't post it, it's got inappropriate adds on it... or can I? XD Well, I'm sure the ones who like Hentai will be all over it... >.>; Anyways! Anyone who's a true fan of JRock will find this hilarious,. as well as anyone who hates it. And i Quote:

J-Rock (also known as Japanese Rock, butt rock, "HA HA oh what the ****", or "holy **** that was a man?!") is really bad "music" from Japan.

The History of J-Rock

Many years ago, when the earth’s crust cooled a small part of it invented tentacle porn. This really squicked the rest of the crust so the small ****ed part was forced to split off into the ocean. This island became… Japan

In Japan, after all the people crawled out of the ocean, lost their flippers and developed society, the crossdresser was invented as a way to both keep women in their place and satiate the need for ancient lulz.

After everyone got sick of dinner theater, all the cross dressers needed work so they began to form bands to cover Beatles songs. Thus J-Rock was born.

Though not as popular as its ******* third aunt tentacle porn, the influence of J-rock can’t be denied. It has the power to make people repeatedly humiliate themselves in public (especially in azn restaurants), pay 50 dollars for ****ing audio cd's on YesAsia (because nothing makes you more HARDKORRRRRE™ than paying out the ass for music with lyrics you can't understand), and learn up to 6 words in Japanese, all while switching the region on their DVD player roughly 923480384203 times.

Visual Kei

Visual Kei is the most popular of the genre because it's so FABULOUS. Visual Kei bands (which are completely interchangeable) usually consist of clusters of **** who run around playing air guitar while looking like Ronald McDonald after he got run over by a Hot Topic truck. These bands make a big show of being all "dark" and ****, much like any and every 16 year old girl who's ever been near deviantART. Songs can be recognized by laughably awful vocals that are either over-the-top, tuneless BLAAARGH metal constipation, or over-the-top crooning that would put Morrissey to shame. At its heart, Visual Kei is just an ugly rehash of '70s glam rock, but with far less credibility. The majority of the bands have French names for some lame reason. Sometimes they also have obscure Japanese names that the Japanese don't even use and never use them in their lifetimes. Visual Kei bands tend to have the largest followings of sadsack, sexually frustrated fangirls, as they have the most ample opportunities for slash.

Bands include:

* X Japan
* Nightmare
* the GazettE (spelling it any other way will result in BAWWW's from teh srs fans)
* Dir en grey (also known as Durr im gay. Despite the fact they've become "westernized" and "non-visual" according to their fans, they're still complete **** and might break into some ghey yaoi fanservice at any moment. Also, one of the bandmembers is a Nazi)
* Lariene
* Psycho le Cému
* G.H.O.S.T
* Miyavi
* Rentrer En Soi
* Phantasmagoria
* Alice Nine
* Kagrra,
* Vidoll
* 12012
* Malice Mizer

Oshare Kei

Oshare Kei, an even more puke-worthy outgrowth of Visual Kei, is the newest of the ******ry. Oshare Kei consists of a bunch **** that look like they stepped out of a bad LSD trip through an all-gay Mardis Gras and have a lot of piercings. They pretend to play instruments during some of the most horrifyingly garish music videos you'll ever see. They pose like ******s and make stupid expressions all the time, probably because if they showed that they took themselves even the slightest seriously they'd be laughed right out of existence. The music sucks 100% of the time and their fanbase consists of ADD-ridden 13 year-old girls who think they're hot when they just have Internet Disease IRL.

They also have blogs in which they play yaoi-bait and pose with teddy bears and talk about how much they want to buttsecks their other bandmates. They come up with some ******ed names such as "Antique Cafe", but since the fangirls can't pronounce or spell them, they give them even worse ones like "AnCafe".

Bands are:

* AnCafé
* SuG
* Irokui
* Panic*CH
* HeaRt
* Lolita23q
* Clavier
* Buns Mercy

Wannabes

Wannabes are the annoying sellout bands that write all their songs in Engrish and think they're cool AMELICAN STYRE, but the music still sounds like ****, and the idiot singing still sounds like he's speaking Japanese. These bands are popular amongst 13 year old boys, and thus, hated in the general J-Rock wankdom.

Such bands are:

* Ellegarden
* UVERworld
* Heartsdale
* Beat Crusaders
* Orange Range
* Pay money to my pain
* Any other Japanese band that did a song for an anime in Engrish