I once had a wet dream where I strangled you to death with your own intestines, Mike
No, I'm talking through the god damn internet
My MSN is borked for some reason and I can't sign in help what do I do is this the krusty krab
You shut the fuck up with your words I'm talking here
So today I built a fence
hey guys so my vagina was really dirty from all that loose unprotected sex with many guys that I was having, and I was wondering if anyone had something I could clean it wi-- oh wait no, I see HyabusaZero is here, that'll work thaaaaaaanks
it's okay, I like lame people you know "lame" is only 4 letters away from "sexy"
idk my bff george lopez
so today I painted a bathroom painting bathrooms is not fun well actually if you break it down painting is not fun and bathrooms aren't fun so I could have guessed from the beginning that I wasn't gonna get right into it and be all like OOOHHHH MY GOOOOD THIS IS AMAAAAZIIIIING but you see I was promised sandwiches delicious delicious sandwiches have you ever had someone offer you a sandwich? no you fucking haven't don't you god damn lie to me you son of a bitch I swear to god I will murder your dog ... so anyway my bro guy home boy slice ham and cheese omlette du fromage g grizzle phat homey from the hood was all up in my hizzous like YO DWAG YOU WANNA GET PHAT BEATS AND THEN BE BUMPIN ALL UP IN MY CRIB AND THEN WE GET DAT WHITE BUNNY YU KNO WA M SAYN?? and I'm all like "yo g i know yu wan me to get awl in there and splat splat with my gat gat" (that's slang for a gun for you guys who aren't hardcore like us) "but mang, yu kno how i rol n ima gon need som o dat green stuff yeah yeah" and he's like "o yeah it coo I've got a lot of lettuce we can make sammiches" "...." "dear god I love you yes let's totally do that" and then we have bro grabs *bro grabs* ... lol i'm just kidding we're a bunch of nerdy white guys and he just asked me to do it also we made lunch afterwards and played Dragonica (supa supa kawaii mmo) (sugoii neeeee~~~) but still I get the feeling like more manual labor should be compensated in the form of sandwiches because 1. it's a gat dam sammich and 2. that's probably all the mexicans want anyway to get a nice flatbread pita (that's what I ate) (with my mouth) (digestion followed) (mastication) ... (penis) and I mean if the mexicans are happy we all get tidier lawns :\ which is good for everyone so wait I just figured given my wording, I think it's been left ambiguous what was actually taking place in the phrase "painting a bathroom" and I'm sure that atleast a certain percentage of people (dumb people) were mixed up as to what I was referring to *****s be wonderin like did I find a bathroom prolly do some business (I just got done digestin after all) (poop jokes) (who knows maybe I touched my penis, you don't know, don't judge me) and then did I proceed to paint the walls of said bathroom for the sake of it being a more aesthetically pleasing environment in which to touch your penis too? or you have to consider was I struck with the great desire the burning passion within my roaring fist telling me to grasp victory my love my anger and all of my sorrows shiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing god damn painting of a bathroom? like if I just got really into it got a canvas read a book on how to be a buddhist pray to buddha so that when I kill mahself I get reincarnated with cool as fuck painting abilities and motherfucking paint like a fist of the north star? 8 straight days of painting stopping only to eat delicious sandwiches and to bang hot chicks (all the hot chicks ever) (I'd probably stop often then) (....might be why it took 8 days) but still when I'm done you are left with the Mona Lisa of bathroom art just a bathroom so beautiful it brings a tear to your eye which is questionable because given the setting my painting would probably contain a man reading a newspaper taking a dump or a 13 year old boy locking himself in there at 7am trying to masturbate while his sister is banging on the door telling him to hurry up because she needs tampons and it's almost time to leave for school and what the hell is taking so long and he's just shouting at the door "shut up I'm brushing my teeth" but we all know he's not brushing his teeth because brushing your teeth doesn't sound like skin slapping against other skin ... my childhood aside, you would still totally cry woman tears also if you were wondering it was totally the first one lol we just painted the walls and stuff because idk I guess he needed a better color to shit to it was blue before and I dunno, maybe blue reminded him of hmm whale penis? definitely whale penis so he's like we need to paint dis and I'm like *sunglasses* awwwwriiiiiiiiight so we had to pick a color and the first thing he pulls out is "Egg-Shell White" and I look him directly in the eyes and say "I dun like eggggs on mah face :|" so fuk dat shyt, we decided to go with uhh I don't know what it was called but when it was done it kinda looked brown so I guess it was appropriate we were gonna invite our other friend over to help (see: do most of the work) but ***** got his wisdom teeth taken out you know, like a bitch does real men will their teeth to stay straight cause we ain't gay on that note, the new slang word for describing when a sort of illicit substance is particularly enjoyable is now "gay" feel free to mix it up with some enhancement words like "mad gay" some prospective scenarios include conversation such as "dooood, chad, brooooooo, this natty ice is mad gay, you gotta butt chug this maaaaang" or "oh god I'm tripping balls over this LSD it's so gay, I can see forever" umm what was I talking about again oh yeah so we also had to repaint the ceiling cause his ceiling was ugly as **** and ***** needed to get cleaned up so we gave it a new coat of white paint (not egg-white though) (remember) (i dun like eggggsss on mah face) you really should have seen this ceiling though was so white, it was like God came down in a golden chariot bearing Billy Mays (good night, sweet prince) and Billy Mays just oxy-clean'd the everloving fuck out of this ceiling like God just blew a huge load on it was like "oh my bad" but we're like "no it's cool God, we wanted it white anyway" you know what happens then? Bro Grabs. God tries to grab my ass and I can't have none of that so I get out my de-sexing stick and I wave it around most un-sexily and God backs the fuck down de-sexing stick never fails to kill the sexiness in any moment I need it sometimes because I arouse the ladies so much and sometimes I just gotta be like BITCH PLEASE I AM TRYING TO PLAY PERSONA 4 HERE CHIE-SAMA-SEMPAI IS LOW ON HP AND MY KUKURI-HIME NEEDS TO USE MADIARAHAN YOU AND YOUR STUPID VAGINA CAN WAIT *de-sexing stick* man women and their clown-car vaginas amirite men? they're always like whine whine whine whine PERIOD why don't we ever talk do you think my labia looks like a blooming cherry blossom NO WOMAN IT LOOKS LIKE A PITBULL ATTACKING A JAR OF MAYONNAISE I WILL PRAY TO BUDDHA AND REINCARNATE MYSELF AS A YEAST INFECTION SO THAT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP and then she'd make me a sandwich ... oh man I never told you what my sandwich was, did I? ohmegawohmegawohmegaw so, it was a sesame ginger chicken sandwich with romaine lettuce and string carrots on a whole-wheat toasted flatbread *****, you would sell your balls for this god damn sandwich hell, I would turn gay for it like if that sandwich just... had a big 'ol man-ass I would be all up in that because it would just be so effin good I wanted to motorboat the contents of that sandwich but I was so busy eating it with my face it was totally worth it in the end and I would do it a thousand times over for the same reward in the end and you know, I just might because tomorrow.... the same friend asked me if I wanted to help him build a fence :]
oy there ickle pawpet, don't be faffin about like a ittle babby, boy howdy struth
what is it that you are talking about, Willis.
nigga what the fuck is this shit
If it makes you feel any better I could go ahead and let you know that I plowed your mother the other night and I loved it
I actually did thoroughly enjoy your PM, but I've been really busy with real life stuff and haven't been visiting KH-Vids with any serious intent...
It'd be cool if there was a selection process in place so that I didn't have to experience, in the all-likely event, that what's "on members minds" happens to be absolutely batshit ******ed.
