Search Results

OTTAWA (AFP) - A Saudi businessman has purchased what is being described by the Canadian seller as the world's most expensive adult novelty item -- a solid 18-carat gold penis enlarger worth nearly 50,000 dollars.

X4 Labs, a Canadian manufacturer of medical devices, received the unorthodox request and recruited a Montreal custom jeweler to help with its design and construction.

"This male health accessory is the most expensive traction device ever produced and will likely become a historical benchmark for the adult novelty industry," the company said in a statement.

Little is known about the buyer, except that he lives in Jeddah.

His glitzy new penis enlarger, however, is being encrusted at his request with 40 diamonds and several rubies and is to be delivered by armored car in October, said Rick Oh, X4 Labs co-owner.

Saudi law bans the import of adult sex toys, but the company insists its product is a US government certified medical device.

Such devices normally retail for less than 400 dollars. But this custom order is expected to cost about 47,000 dollars US, Oh said.

"It's an unusual request," Oh told AFP. "We didn't take it seriously at first, but once he sent us a deposit, we had to agree to it."

"Obviously, there were giggles initially when we presented our project to a jeweler and asked him for help."

But the seemingly lavish device was actually conceived for a practical purpose, Oh explained. "We were approached by the customer who insisted on a solid gold version of our product because he claimed to have a severe skin allergy to stainless steel."

Later, the buyer asked to add diamonds and rubies to it.

The company intends to now offer all customers custom designs for their male novelty devices, although it states it is "uncertain as to whether this will become a trend."

Product coordinator Matt West said he "is convinced that there is a demographic that is willing to pay for lavish medical devices for their private areas... to pay good money to spoil themselves."

"There is something tremendously selfish about the male ego, and subsequently 50,000-dollar orders may become the norm for companies like X4 Labs," he said.

A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says: "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You bastard!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"

A blond farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening. She was knitting and he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looked up from the page and said to her: "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"

She looked at him wistfully, smiled, and replied: "Oh, yeah? Prove it."

The blond farmer frowned for a moment, then said: "OK." He got up and walked out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face. About a half hour later, he returned all tired and sweaty.

"Well," he said: "I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't orgasm, but the way that pig is always squealing, how can I tell?"

The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable, when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored.

"Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I'm frightfully sorry about that."

"It's quite understandable," said the Archbishop: "As a matter of fact, I thought it was the horse."

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them is playing as well as they would like, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says: "No, no, no -- you are gripping the club way too hard!"

"What should I do?" asks the man.

"Hold the club gently," the pro replies, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight down the fairway. The next day the wife goes for her lesson. After the pro watches her swing, he says: "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What should I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway, about 35 feet.

"That was great," the pro says, "Nice and gentle. Now take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're supposed to."