I'm glad you shared this, it's really good. Perhaps the third stanza was a bit too mushy for my taste, but it didn't subtract from the general emotional intensity in the poem. I hope you will post more.
Voted for Jayn. The wolf-girl piece was especially impressive. While I won't deny the public secret that the second cycle of awards is as much a popularity contest as the others, I think it would satisfy the contestants that there is at least someone who actually looks at the pictures before they vote. Spoiler Yeah, I realize the hypocrisy of calling Makaze out on taking the awards too seriously. I enjoyed trying to sound artsy though, so it was all in good fun anyway.
[pretending to know stuff about art] An admirable attempt to create art with minimal tools, but the proportions seem way off. The arms of the first girl seem more flabby than they should be, and is it just me or does the girl in the second drawing have huge hands? I like the honest simplicity of Cherry Berry's work, but this could have benefited great from some extra tweaking. Interesting style and clean execution. As with Cherry, a more differential dyad of entries would have given me more to elaborate upon. There aren't many things I can note here, except that it just isn't my thing. Recalling Wolfie's pieces from last year, I see yet again that she is a very versatile artist. I don't know whether the first piece is based off an anime or a game or whatever, but I found it interesting and creative regardless. I like how she contrasted the dunes to give a shading effect, and the way she portrayed far-off mist in the first piece. I couldn't think of something to say about the second piece. I guess it's meant to be some sort of scythe? Why isn't it assembled? I always have high expectations of Taffy, and she doesn't disappoint. One marvels at what someone can produce with just a pencil. Her first piece is bright and summons images in my head of sunny summer days. No idea what the shape is meant to represent. It reminds me of tattered cloth. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing; it just crossed my mind. These sketches are certainly not bad, but the level of "sketchiness" is often inconsistent. Perfectly fine if this is the case between pieces, but I'm not keen on it if it happens within a piece. Case in point: the skirt of the girl in the second piece is way more roughly sketched than the rest of her body and clothing. This is also the case with the...thing in the bottom-right corner of the first piece. I would have liked a general idea of what I'm supposed to be looking at there. I could almost say that there is too much going on in these pieces, but Dinny knows where to draw the line (no pun intended). The result in both entries are excellently detailed works of art that are nevertheless easy on the eyes. She may have went a little overboard with the multicolored hair on the pigtails girl, but it's forgiven. There are, after all, a lot of good things to make note of here, from the immaculate pattern of the wings in the first piece to the questioning eyes of the girl in the second. Both entries are stunning pieces of art (although the first one is my favourite). Rat's first piece is remarkably fascinating. I was actually looking for clues about the setting and story behind this work. The grim coldness of the face demands the viewer's attention in a compelling way. So compelling even that it almost drew away attention from its only (minor) flaw: the strand of lighter brown hair behind the character's ear looks more like goo than actual hair. That being said, it is an intriguing piece and definitely among the best works of all these entries. Perhaps the asymmetric proportions left and right of the tiger's nose are to blame, but that second piece didn't have the same effect on me. Speaking of which, the asymmetric glare of both its eyes water down the fierce look the creature is supposed to give. I can imagine that symmetry is incredibly difficult to achieve, but I'm just throwing out there that the impact would have been greater if his left eye looked exactly like the right one. Nevertheless a swell piece of art that I wouldn't mind having in my room. Love what he did with the headband in the first piece, not so keen on what seems to be his boobs on the right side. The clothing was exceptionally well done and coloured. The second piece, however, is the better one. Proportions are realistic, her hair is superbly coloured. May not be the very best of the lot, but there is no question that he's skilled. I've seen plenty of terrific pieces, honestly, but I think Dinny outshines them all. She definitely has my vote. [/pretending to know stuff about art]
Just so you guys know, the last two aren't mine even though they seem to appear under my name.
[pretending to know shit about art] A more conspicuous background would have helped the first piece a lot in my opinion. The text is barely legible, which is kind of a shame. I like the colour scheme of the second piece. Perhaps it would have been even better if she had chosen reddish colours on the right as well. This is good artwork, but it doesn't blow me away. The colour transition in the first piece is somewhat sudden. Chev chose a fitting image to soften the contrast, and this may work for some, but it didn't quite cut it for me. Love what he did what the text though. Very nice. The second one has a neat concept and a lot of potential, but the left image should have been edited more to make it look less...ripped. It looks crude now. Editing out Vincent (who is barely visible anyway) would have been a good start. The colour fade-out in the first design wasn't even necessary. In fact, I think it hurts the piece more than it does it good, because I really dig the vividness of the colours in the drawing. The second one is a masterpiece, and perhaps my favourite entry of them all. If I may nit-pick, I think a uniform skin colour on the girl would have made it perfect. Her face looks differently coloured than her legs now. Nevertheless, it is an outstanding piece of art. The comments I had on Chevalier's first piece could be inverted for Plums' first entry: great colour transition here, but the text and what has been done with it is downright primitive. I like the second entry quite a bit better. Very well-crafted with great attention to detail. The diagonal blue line should have been ditched though, or at least make it somewhat softer. It kind of messes up Aigis' face now, but I admit that I was too awe-struck to even notice it at first. A brilliant second entry completely overshadows the mediocre first. I like the form of the first piece quite a bit, with its circular centre and periphery. It seems to contain some "impurities", for example a strange green streak on Thanatos' left hand, and a brown one on his body, but overall this is a very solid work of art. Minato's facial expression of determination, courage and a hint of fear flirts with perfection. I'm less enthusiastic about the second piece. That's to say, I think Lightning turned out great, but she deserved more than a bland background. I don't know...It feels unfinished. Colour scheme and transition done completely right, in both works but especially apparent in the first. It's hard not to fall in love with the background of that piece. I applaud the choice of character: Evangelion deserves more love. The flame-shaped blot covering up part of Asuka's image is the only minor eyesore in the piece. The second piece is probably even better. The colours are dazzling and vivid yet warm and soothing at the same time. There is a lot of detail to be enjoyed there too. I think the girl could have been completely centered, but whatever floats the artist's boat. The first piece did everything right to make Roxas look as badass as possible. I'd imagine any Roxas fan would want that as their wallpaper, and it might even give Roxas haters a run for their money. Replace "badass" with "childish" and the same can be said for Sora in the second piece. Is that Destiny Islands to his left? It's too hard to tell. Whatever's next to Sora should be more conspicuous and perhaps more distant from him. Good pieces...Not jaw-droppingly so, but solid all the same. The first piece has an in-your-face, almost violent feel to it. Unlike anything I'd expect from a piano, but then again Amethyst's work is unlike anything I've seen here so far. Her art is refreshing and bold, and that's a huge plus in my book. The second piece confirms the suspicion that she's full of surprises. If I had that as my wallpaper, I'd organize my desktop files in such a way that it wouldn't mess up the art. The band-aid looks a bit out there as opposed to a part of a whole, but that's the only qualm I have about her work. Very good indeed. What? also surprised me in a good way: I didn't know he was such a good artist. There's more to the background of that first piece than first meets the eye. Inspiring a second or third glance is always a good thing. I didn't like the way the bubbles were "filled up": the borders should have matched what was in the bubbles, rather than all being the same colour. I still like the piece though. For some reason, I find it hard to rate the second one. Maybe I'm missing something but did he choose the shape of that piece at random? I aapplaud his break from the overused rectangular box but the actual choice of shape could have been more thoughtful. As much as I dislike its shape, I absolutely love its overall style. The vintage look combined with modern techniques makes it a highly likable package. The characters in the first work look like they're on a football field. Not sure what to think that. Why is the left side so empty? That doesn't seem right. I like how this piece lives and breathes piece and happiness. Not bad at all, but I've seen better entries. The second piece is by far the superior one. It has that same tranquil vibe to it, with an added flair of mystery. Sublime use of many shades of green. Splendid. Speaking in olympic terms, I believe Jayn, beezygee and Amethyst deserve the gold, silver and bronze medals. In what order, you ask? I honestly have no idea...yet. Maybe I should view some of their other work before I make a choice. [/pretending to know shit about art]
That would be someone else: I didn't even have it last year.
I have never nominated anything. Heck, I didn't even know it was time for the user awards already. I would have nominated you if I had known...
The first one, i.e. Dune itself.
Queen & David Bowie ---Under Pressure
Your Bene Gesserit skills are infallible.
Not demolishing your body.
Spoiler The goat did it.
You win some, you lose some.
I'm not saying it's wrong. If anything, I was saying that memes are the best thing that happened to equal chances since the prosthetic leg. People who never had it in them to be funny before can be funny now. Ain't that beautiful?
My hardware goes to places you've never heard of. Yeah, that's my social life in a nutshell.
Can't we all just agree that memes exist to give people who couldn't rely on wit a chance to be funny?
I like how intricate your poems are, both within each piece as the links between them. You experiment even while telling a story, making every read worthwhile. My favourites thus far would be "Love And Seashells" and "Playing Royalty". Enjoyed reading!
Road To Nowhere Dead men tell no tales, but if they did, they would revolve around this place: a canyon shaped like a demon's grin, a rock-solid brown embrace. Every thud of the hooves I command seems to stir another curse. To me and my only friend, I'm sure, this crag will be our hearse. Arid heat scorches and fries my noggin' but my sins flicker all the clearer. Why is it that I think of her while my doom is sprinting nearer? A tavern wench rife with youthful folly, who shot winks like twinkling rays. My personal gold rush finished, convinced to spend with her the rest of my days. But the vastness of the west still impressed me more than a woman possibly could. I saddled my partner in the canvas of the night, escaped my barless prison for good. I'm certain she cursed my unborn son since then, from the minute that she bore him. "Men and women will despise him alike, but bullets will adore him." I knew not where to look or turn when guilt is my opponent. Hence I follow the road to nowhere hoping to lead me to atonement. Indeed, drifting isn't what it ought to be. Freedom is but a term, no more. I sense various twitches underneath me: my companion's legs are sore. "I'm sorry, loyal friend", I say "I'll walk with you on foot." Though he still quakes as if hit by bolts, kneels in the desert's burning soot. Exhaustion legible on his face, his neighing reduced to a feeble tone. With a heavy stomach I understand: from this point on I roam alone. At least the sands of the wastes are courteous to shield me from the tragedy behind. Perhaps I should have stayed with him: What is it that I have left to find? Remorse beats me, batters and harasses me This raging sandstorm has woes to sell. These doomed joints click into place for one more leap into farewell. The images of everyone I ever wronged, like ghouls they enter my throat and choke me. But it's not my love, son or deceased comrade 'Tis I and I alone who broke me. Comment: Wrote this for a poetry challenge somewhere a while ago. Had trouble meeting the deadline, which hasn't given me the best. I've written better.
The change in tone in the last stanza was too abrupt in my opinion. Free verse doesn't bother me, but the last line was too long regardless. There are simple tricks to reduce the amount of syllables in a line: replacing until with till, over with o'er etc. Then there's the hurricane metaphor. A metaphor is essentially a comparison between two (seemingly unrelated) concepts. This is important to remember, especially when you extend your metaphor over several stanzas. Does your hurricane represent rage, confusion or merely a headache? What are the waves and the winds? Describing your metaphors too literally is a common trap, and admittedly a difficult one to avoid. I myself am probably guilty of the same things I'm warning you for.
I have to agree with Rainshine as far as basicness is concerned (don't see a problem with the I's and you's though). There are some readers who prefer that style, but it wouldn't hurt to aim higher. I'm glad you tried rhyme in these last few poems. Credit where credit is due though: sometimes you rise above yourself. At times you deliver gems like these: A few more clever lines like these per piece could take your poetry to a higher level. Either way, I encourage you to keep writing!
