✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » HAPPY ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » GR8 OUTDOORS ≛OOC ✌ The red head was very excited about the hike. The company of everyone put him in such a chipper mood as he followed after Erik who took the lead up the path. Maria was by his side, which was very nice. He was carrying a backpack he quickly packed with some extra clothes and any emergency stuff if ever needed while she held the bottle of alcohol Lennox had given them. He took a quick drink as they started but knowing his limits with the happy juice, he decided to save it for when they were finished with the hiking and maybe when they rested somewhere. They hadn't been walking much but he hadn't been talking much either. It was like there was a nervous lump in his throat - yet, he couldn't find himself happier. He's been in a good mood all morning and as he glanced down quickly at Maria, a smile crossed his face. He knew it was only going to get better. A sudden nudge on the shoulder, caused him to quickly snap his head to the other side. She slid up next to him and poked him on the cheek, causing him to shoot her a weird look and then a quick laugh. Lennox was as playful as ever, it reminded him of the times he would spend with her back in the old days. He was tempted to remind her to be nicer to his brother on the trip, since he knew Erik was only looking out for his younger sister but judging by how they were speaking earlier that morning he knew that she was already being nice. Besides, what she said next caught him too off guard. She pointed to Maria on the other side of him, ⌈ She's a cutie. ⌋ Tucker quickly shot her another look and before he could even shake her off or tell her to shoo away, she was off and back to Julius. He could feel his cheeks flush, his chestnut eyes quickly glanced toward Maria but then their eyes both met and they both just as quickly turned away. His heart was beating faster. It was just like Lennox to tease him like that - just like before! But come on, they were older now. Wasn't that a thing of the past? Besides, he didn't need her to tell him that anyway. He cleared his throat as the group stopped and looked up at the, rather steep hillside. It wasn't anything too insane or death-warning looking but it was much steeper than the hills they had been walking past. It had big rocks that were angled and in weird places and walking upright didn't seem like it was possible. It looked kind of like an inclined beginners level at rock climbing or something. There was bound to be something cool, like a great resting spot, up ahead. Erik, as always, took the lead after warning everyone to be careful. He looked down at Maria, getting the bottle of liquor from her. "I-I'll hold onto this so you can climb properly. You can go ahead so if you slip I'll... uh... I'll be.... right behind you." he half muttered the last bit, realizing how lame and cheesy that must have sounded but really it was for her own safety! He could still feel his cheeks flushing a bit as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head with his free hand. Then, he looked up at her and after an awkward exchange of smiles, they followed to the hillside. He made sure to help her out, reminding her to be careful and directing her where to step or which rock to grab. He began to climb after her.
✿ OUTFIT| MUSIC | OOC |MOOD ↝ EXCITED ✿✖ LOCATION ↝ ROOM ✖ Her morning went from the-lazy-wake-up-routine to oh-my-glob-girl-talk in the beginning of her conversation with Pierce. She honestly couldn't believe the words that came out of the timid girl's stuttering lips at first because she never thought of hearing it from her but then a second later she just felt so happy for her! She's never seen the girl do much... really... but it was nice to see herself out there and better yet, with a boy! Elisa's heart felt like it was filled with pink and blue cotton candy along with fairy wings and rainbows as she heard Pierce tell her story of the magical moment she shared with Oliver. But then, she was quickly overcome with concern as the younger girl went to the later parts of her fairytale as she looked up at Elisa, hopeful. ❝ You have a boyfriend. So um, I g - guess I was just wondering if you might - you might know ... what it means? ❞ A warm smile appeared on the turquoise teen's lips paired with concerned eyebrows and she gave a determined nod. She stuffed the rest of her unfolded clothes quickly into her bag then swiped it off of her lap and onto the floor. She ignored it completely and folded her legs so she was kneeling on the bed as she sat on the balls of her feet. She looked at the girl in front of her, "Well, er, this is like my first relationship kind of like... yeah, so I'm not sure if I'll be super great at giving advice but I do know: Boys are strange but they're magical." It probably didn't make sense, huh? She bit at her bottom lip, thinking. "It could mean many things. Like, it could just mean he wanted to think about it first...? Or maybe, he just went whoa-this-is-too-fast! Or maybe like, he's just kind of shy about it too and he wants to make sure everything goes right for the two of you!" She gave her an excited grin and a thumbs up, then relaxed back down again before inquiring curiously, "Has he said anything else, though? Have you talked to him since then or anything like that?"
✿ OUTFIT| MUSIC | OOC |MOOD ↝ CALM ✿✖ LOCATION ↝ ROOM ✖ The turquoise teen exited the bathroom of their little hut in a bikini top and shorts with a towel over her bare shoulders. It had been her default outfit at the beach resort since she was going out so much and it seemed appropriate. She hummed a soft tune as she walked over to her bed, took a seat and grabbed her strawberry and cream scented lotion that she began applying all over her exposed skin. Her blue hair was about a shade darker while it was wet, and it was still dripping at the ends. As she continued to apply the lotion on her body she turned to Pierce, her sleeping buddy for the trip. "I won't be going out 'till later tonight. Ry and - that's Ryder, by the way - I agreed that we'd spend tonight together but catch up on other things during the day, but I can't really think of what to do - so I hope you don't mind my company." her tone of voice was as sweet as the strawberries that kissed her skin. She paired it off with a warm smile as she looked at the timid, brown haired girl. She got up for a moment and put her towel outside the hut to dry and went back inside, closing the sliding doors behind her. She sat back at the bed and grabbed her bag, as she started folding some clothes and fixing some things. The other girls from their room seemed to have plans of their own so it was just Pierce and herself. She looked up once again at her, "So, anything interesting happen to you lately?"
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » HAPPY ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM ≛OOC ✌ Chestnut eyes opened as the sun beat down at their hut through the glass sliding doors in the morning. He squinted and rolled onto his back as he stretched an arm out and let out a yawn. He stared up at the ceiling of their room, confused. Everything seemed a little hazy. He couldn't seem to recall how he got himself to bed but not really in the mood for thinking so early in the day, he sat up. "Are you feeling better?" The red head turned to face his older friend who stood by the bed. He looked at him with a confused expression, raising an eyebrow, "Um, yes...? I feel perfectly fine?" was he not supposed to be okay? Erik crossed his arms over his chest, his voice showed exactly how concerned he was, "You looked like you were holding onto your last shred of life yesterday. Maybe you should go get checked out." It confused him even more. Perhaps it was about that time in the morning that he woke up his brain. He took to account what his friend just said and tried his best to remember. That's when he recalled that sudden physical assault his body experienced yesterday while he was with Maria. Ahhh, right. Yeah, that was pretty weird. He couldn't recall how badly it hurt anymore - if it did - but now he felt alright so it couldn't have been too bad. Maybe Erik was just exaggerating. Besides, he felt okay, isn't that what mattered? "Oh, nah, pfttt. I'm fine. Really Erik, the heat probably just got to me or something." His friend didn't look so pleased by his answer, "The heat gives you internal chest pains?" Tucker's lips pressed into a line and he fell silent. Now what was he going to say to that? Erik was always better at comebacks than he would ever be. He let the silence linger for a moment as he tried to think of something clever enough to answer his question. Sadly all the cherry red head could come up with was, "Look, bro, I'm fine. Really. Like super fine, well except I need a shower so I'm going to get to that." he gets up, puts his hands on Erik's shoulders and repeats slowly, "I am perfectly fine." then with a laugh he goes to get some new clothes from his bag. As he stood with a new set of clothes in his hands, he heard his friend mutter "If you say so..." Tucker let out a small sigh, it was kind of flattering how concerned Erik was but it was also a little tiny bit annoying int he morning that he wouldn't believe him. He put a smile on his face and patted him on the shoulder before heading to the bathroom, "Maybe staying coped up in the hut's making you worry so much. Go out and have some fun today, man, you deserve it." He took a quick, refreshing shower, got dressed and exited the bathroom. He placed his used clothes back into his bag then looked back at his dark haired friend. He hoped he didn't take what he last said offensively because he meant it with the best of intentions. "I really mean what I said man, you gotta put the books down and go out into the sun! These kids aren't your students today they're your friends!" he said, complete with excited hand gestures. Before any of the two could speak, there was a knock on the door. Already on his feet, Tucker decided to go and get it and once he pulled the door open his heart fluttered blissfully and a dorky grin ran across his face, "U-uh, hey! Good morning, Maria!"
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BETTER ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » RESORT ≛OOC ✌ The walk had been excruciatingly quiet. He really tried to keep the chipper mood he had started out with in the morning but he couldn't seem to keep a conversation with her. He could barely find himself to start one. Now, they were seated by a big rock as Maria asked for a break. He agreed and rested his back on one of the trees. He looked around at the forest. It was truly beautiful. These were the types of places he loved the most. Surrounded by greenery, secluded, far away from human beings - far away from those who could hurt him, or rather, those he could hurt. ❝ Tucker,❞ He snapped his head back towards he at the call of his name. He wore a small smile on his face as their eyes met. ❝ I'll always be a better actor than you. If you still don't feel well, you should have said something.❞ He was about to laugh, amused by her first statement, but he worried that she actually noticed that he still wasn't feeling well. Tucker had tried his best throughout the entire day to hide the weird shivers he felt. ❝ What were you going to say yesterday? Before you started to get sick? I don't really think we can be friends again until we've acknowledged what I told you.❞ His smile quickly disappears and he looked elsewhere for a moment. He knew what she was talking about. Right before he finally openly complained about the attack-ish pain he felt from yesterday started, he had said "I don't know about that." That being Freya. To be exact, how Freya made him happy. It slipped from his mouth before he even realized it but that was because he was true. At that moment he just didn't know if he believed what Maria said about her. For some odd reason there was this feeling of... feeling of incorrectness. For a moment, thinking about Freya in that sort of way made him feel awkward. It made him feel wrong. It made him feel- "Ow." Pain. The sudden pain he felt again in his chest caused him to slip up once more. He quickly cleared his throat, hopefully she didn't notice, "Um, yeah..." he started blindly. He didn't know what to say. He was caught off guard. To buy him some time, he walked over to her slowly and stopped in front of her. He looked from side to side to make sure no one was around. Though this didn't help on buying him time at all apparently because he still had no idea on what to say. 'I just I don't know. Like, don't don't know.' his chestnut eyes made their way to her blue ones. Despite how icy and cold they seemed in the warm climate, he felt a strange but nice feeling. It was weird but the good kind, it was a very familiar feeling but he couldn't remember where he had felt it before. It was like he knew he could tell her anything and everything. It was quickly accompanied by the painful shiver but he continued to try and ignore it and before he could stop himself yet again, his thoughts became clearly audible. "I-I don't know what to feel anymore Maria... about you... about Freya-" his chest tightened painfully, but ignoring it, he squatted down to meet at Maria's level, "E-everything is just beginning to... to turn upside down or something. Even if it hurts, I can't forget a word you've said to me. I can't ignore it. I'm waking up terrified but I can't remember any of the nightmares as I usually do. I've broken my phone and I don't even care! The only reason I brought it was so I could text Freya and even though Erik offered me his to text her, I haven't. I don't... I don't really want to talk to Freya." Another sharp pain ran through his side, as if someone had punched him quickly in the ribs. It made him shut his eyes for a second and wince but he looked back up at Maria and kept going cause he suddenly couldn't seem to stop, it was probably the pain the surged in him that gave him the adrenaline, "It just feels wrong. I don't even want to send her a t-text- ahh, but all I can think of is you. I want to spend time with you here at the resort a-and when we're together I know it's awkward but for me, right now, it feels right." The pain grew around his torso. It felt like long needles were being pushed through him. From squatting, he dropped on a knee and sat, propping an arm on the raised knee to try and keep himself up. "And I-I just don't get it. I know how I am. You know how I am. After that first day I would have probably caught a cab back home if I had to but here I am- with you! And I swear I didn't force myself to be here. I wanted to." his fist clenched tightly as he winced again, groaning after as his chest felt so tight he swore his heart was beating so fast and air wasn't going into his lungs properly but he didn't stop, "A-and something feels missing and I know it's not Freya- uuurgh, I don't know what it is and I want to know what's making me feel so empty-" his head began to spin, he hd to put a hand on the ground now, "-and I feel like the answer's with you. I don't know what's telling me this but when I'm with you it just feels right. I-I don't know what's happening, everything is just so hazy and confusing and weird. I can't ignore it. I really can't - expect for today, when we were at breakfast-" he coughed, "and walking-" he coughed again, "I didn't think about it. I-I didn't-" and once more, "have to because-" another cough, "it suddenly didn't feel empty."
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BETTER ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » RESORT ≛OOC ✌ ❝ But Tucker, we don't have to avoid all bodies of water. What's there to be afraid of when I have such a great lifeguard on duty? ❞ A laugh escaped him. He didn't even realize how he phrased the last thing he said a while ago, he was just worried she didn't want to be near water after that incident during the first day. He put his hands up in a surrender then added jokingly with a small grin, "Sorry, sorry. I'm just not taking my chances, you know? With how much of a clutz you are?" After a bit of another laugh, mostly to conceal another weird shiver that attacked him, he finished up his pancake as he took the last piece into his mouth. He swallowed and cleared his throat, "But okay, I haven't been able to look around much either. Walking sounds good! Whenever you're ready." he smiles and leans back on the chair a bit. His insides felt like they were aching slightly. Maybe he should have gotten the toast just like Maria, perhaps the pancakes or the syrup were a bit off. He shifted in his seat as he waited for Maria to be finished. He really hoped he wasn't coming down with something, that would like, totally ruin the whole point of this beach vacation thing. Caught up in his thoughts and distracted by the weird pangs of pain he would feel suddenly, he didn't realize that Maria had already called for the bill and when the waiter came over with it, he sat up straight and got it before she could. He gave her a wide grin as he kept the bill away from her, "I'm paying! Least I could do to make up for all the time we haven't spent together." he tried to keep his voice sweet and without the hint of pain as he recalled why and how they haven't spent time together. He took enough bills to cover their payment and tip from his wallet and he placed them inside and left it at the table. He placed his wallet back into his shorts pocket, then as he prepared himself to stand he looked at her once more, "Ready to go?" and with that they both stood, left the buffet and walked out into the sun.
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BETTER ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM/LOBBY ≛OOC ✌ Before he could even think of any other possibilities for what they could do today, he spots Maria approaching him. He immediately stood up, pulling down on his navy shirt. He smiled at her as she waved at him timidly, ❝ Hey there, ❞ "Hey." he said with a small smile. He originally worked out a very enthusiastic good morning up in his head while he was in the shower. It was to be paired with a bright grin and an ecstatic expression as he was very eager to be friends with Maria again. Since things were suddenly going a bit alright between them, he really didn't want to take chances. Though, obviously he choked up. All his preparation went down the drain because the moment he saw her, his chest tightened and his muscles tensed. He was actually surprised he got himself up to his feet but really, if it weren't for that split second of uncomfortable pain he suddenly felt that broke through the awkward freezing of pretty much everything in his system - he knew he wouldn't have moved at all. Didn't think those weird painful shivers he's been getting since yesterday would be any help - but looks like it did today! ❝ So, what did you want to do today? ❞ Tucker's eyes immediately met with Maria. It was nice not seeing them so sad anymore. There was still something that was a little bit off, but compared to yesterday, she really did look happier - it made him happy too. Alright. This was it. It was time to bring out the enthusiastic-I-am-super-friendly Tucker! The time they were going to spend together today would hold no tears or sadness of any sort. They were going to reconcile completely and become friends again. But hey! Back to reality. Back to reality... He pressed his lips together, "Hmmm." His eyes left Maria's for a moment as he looked around, trying to keep his composure as he desperately looked out for some sort of sign to give him an answer. It only took seconds but Bingo! A cart of room service packed with a family breakfast meal passed down a hall by the distance. He grinned and turned back to Maria, "B-breakfast!" he said suddenly. He must have been too excited about finding that answer because a second after blurting it out he realized that he may have made only little sense. "U-um, b-breakfast! We should eat. Yeah. Food is... food is good! Especially here... at the resort. Yeah." Wow, awkward, but thank golly she had agreed. With a small sigh, he reached to put his hand on her shoulder to lead her towards the breakfast buffet but that weird shiver had attacked him again, and for a second he winced at it, but then recollected himself quickly and pointed to where they were headed. "Let's pass over here." he dug his hands in his pockets and walked ahead for the first few steps until she joined him and he walked beside her. When they got there, they got a table then proceeded to the buffet. He made sure to stay beside her and occasionally helped her get some food on her plate. By the time they had circled around it, they returned to their table and began to eat their meals. It was quiet, and sometimes Tucker would glance up at her before sticking his spoon in his mouth but couldn't find himself to say anything. How long has it been? Had they just sat down or had ten minutes already passed? It felt like the latter but as he looked down at his plate, it only looked like he took two bites. He suddenly got scared that Maria felt like this was awkward and dragging too. That was like a blinking red light on his road to friendship. He swallowed the food in his mouth nervously then took a sip of the juice he got for the morning, before clearing his throat, "So uh, Maria, is there, uh, any places you really want to visit around here? I'm pretty sure there are cool stuff away from the ocean that the resort provides... I think..."
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BETTER ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM/LOBBY ≛OOC ✌ "Can I borrow your phone? Since you know, I broke mine." It probably was a very odd thing to wake up to for his older, dark haired friend. Tucker was already out from a shower, dressed for the new day and ready to leave. Erik, who was still in bed and in pajamas and barely opening his eyes, understood what he was going to do - as they talked about it before sleeping last night - and pointed to the desk where he left it. The red head whispered a quick thank you and then walked over to his friend's phone, picked it up and began to type up a message for her. To: MariaMorning Maria! This is Tucker, um, myphone is weird so I borrowed Erik's. Anyway, I'll wait for you at the lobby. No rush or anything : ) He hit send and then placed the phone back down. After which, he gave a small tap on his friend's shoulder before heading out of the door as he made his way to the lobby just like he said. Tucker had woken up abruptly earlier that morning, terrified again but with no recollection as to why. He tried not to bother himself with it though, as he remembered that today was the day he would spend some time with Maria - since they finally got back on a good note... or at least, he hoped. It seemed like it was going well. Maybe it was because she was a little out of it yesterday morning but he was really, really telling himself not to think that. He reached the lobby moments later and took a seat by one of the lounge chairs. He looked around, trying to think of some things they could do because he slowly started to become nervous. He licked his upper lip, what activities did the beach resort provide that didn't involve water?
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BETTER ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM ≛OOC ✌ The red head watched her leave outside the glass sliding doors as she disappeared towards her own hut. He barely believed that he had asked her to join him tomorrow, especially after yesterday but for what? Hell, he had no idea! What were they going to do? He really wasn't sure, it just... it felt right. It felt like it was the right thing to d- A sharp pain hit his chest, causing him to inhale sharply and bend forward slightly. Thank goodness he stopped himself before ramming his head onto the glass sliding door in front of him. One bump on the back of his head was enough for the trip, thank you. His head continued to throb and he slowly turned to face back into the room. He saw Erik, sitting there with a small smile on his face. The red head put a hand to the side of his head, and walked forward slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Y-yeah, I talked to her. I'll tell you about it later but god, I feel awful. I think I'm going to pass on the hiking. Sorry man." It wasn't the awful feeling he had earlier that morning and yesterday, it wasn't as painful but it sure was annoying. It was more physical. It wasn't the familiar demons that relished in his guts and muscles and mind and heart. This felt invasive and alien, as if it were fighting off all the little happy feelings he started to have concerning Maria. It was very odd. Tucker brushed it off as he lied in bed and tried to ignore the pain. He pretty much stayed in the hut the entire day, had some food courtesy of Erik leaving the hut and coming back and played some video games on Erik's phone, since he broke his own. It was the chill, break he finally needed to just get things together. Who knew it would take a lifesaver moment at the pool with the girl he was so hesitant about for the past few months, a terrible trip to the darkest areas of his mind, a broken bathroom, a brave conversation with Maria in the morning and an entire day coped up in the hut to make him feel appropriately relaxed in a beach resort?
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BEYOND REPAIR ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM ≛OOC ✌ He could hear shuffling from inside of the hut. The others were probably starting to wake. It caused him to release a shaky sigh. Everything still really hurt: the side of his knees because he bruised them yesterday, along with the bump in the back of his head, but more so all his messed up insides like his knotted stomach, needly pricked lungs and the heart that was ripped out of him. He wasn't sure if he would be able to put a proper smile on for them to be fooled by. The man put his knees together gently then rested her forehead on top of it. How could he make it stop? His mind was going haywire - the voices were mumbling about and the flashbacks - from yesterday, times with Freya, Erik and Maria and even back when he was a child with his father - were blurred but present. He was tempted to ram his head at the wooden pillar of the hut beside him but he knew that would cause more of a stir between anyone who was awake inside. His fingers made their way up to the locks of his hair, which he gripped as tight as he could before releasing them again and looking up. He gazed out to the distance. It was like the ocean was calling to him, telling him to get lost in it. That the pain would go away as he returned to the water with the promise that the ocean would never bring him back to all this pain and sadness. His muscles tensed, probably fooled to wanting to get up but that wasn't the reason. The voice of the waves shut up as a figure walked along the shore. Tucker didn't even have to look twice. It was her. The short brown locks that replaced her long blonde hair was unmistakable. It felt like a strong chill had frozen him completely. Maria hadn't once looked his way, which was good. He finally brought himself to get up on his feet. That's right. He was going to run. He was at the sliding door when he curiously glances back, seeing Maria head off towards the farther end of the beach. It caused him to raise an eyebrow. What was going on? She couldn't swim and he was pretty sure there was absolutely nothing left on that side but th- "If you're this upset, she's gotta be this upset too and things won't get better until the two of you really talk." He stopped, still watching the slowly disappearing Maria. He had no idea why that thought came back to him suddenly - nor why on earth a new, absurd thought came to his mind: He should follow her. He just didn't understand. It was like a battle in his mind and with a rather exasperated and annoyed grunt, he turns back, puts on some flip flops and hopped off of the patio to follow her.
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BEYOND REPAIR ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM ≛OOC ✌ The cherry red haired man woke up gasping. His eyes darted open as they focused on the blank wall in front of him. He had expected something else. Something horrible, which made him release a small sigh of relief as he realized it was all but a dream. Visual aspects of his nightmares just moments ago couldn't find its way back to his memory. All what was left - and all that Tucker knew - was that he woke up terrified. Part of him wanted to know why but he was glad it was over. It felt like he was having chills under the covers of the bed, despite the warm, sunny climate of the beach resort. He felt like he was going to be sick. It took moments of trying to stay still to catch his breath before he could think things clearly. Still shaken by the abrupt morning mini-panic attack, he slowly peeled the covers off of him and pushed himself up. He looked around the room. Julius, Evan and Erik next to him were all still asleep. He looked outside to the view past the glass sliding doors and he let out a deep sigh. Inhaling deeply, he placed his palms over his face and dubbed the crystals of dried tears out of his eyes as he let out a shaky exhale. He still couldn't remember anything from the dream but fear was still looming over him. As he pulled his hands back from his face he realized that he could still smell an air of chlorine. That's right. He hasn't showered from yesterday…. yesterday. He shook his head quickly, as if trying to protect himself from the flashbacks that was ready to crawl back into his scared mind. He quickly got out of bed, grabbed clothes for today and walked off to the bathroom. Tucker stopped before entering, as he realized that the door was broken and wooden chips were mixed with broken phone fragments on the floor. He stared for a while, remembering how it happened. How he had locked himself in the bathroom. How he sulked and sobbed. How Erik burst into the bathroom, hence the broken door, and helped him out. How he realized and remembered just what kind of a person he wa- he shut his eyes tight. No. There had been too much pain and tears already! This was a new day. This had to stop. He stepped into the bathroom quietly, placed his clean clothes on the counter and then bent down and began to pick up the pieces of wood and metal. He worked quickly, wanting to dispose of the evidence as quickly as possible. He there them into the bin and once everything was cleaned up he shut the door as… well, properly as he could then stopped off of his pajamas and hopped into the shower without glancing once at the mirror. He showered quickly but couldn't find himself to get out. Everything was still hurting inside. His stomach turned and his lungs still seemed to be malfunctioning. He wondered where his heart had been taken away because his chest still seemed to hurt the most. He stood there for a moment, almost unaware that his tears had mixed with the cold water rushing down from the shower head and onto his body. He blinked his eyes, rubbing his face with his hands a bit and then finally got himself to turn the shower off. He wiped himself down with his towel and put on his patterned shirt and washed out denim shorts. He gave his head a shake to dry his hair and then opened the bathroom door carefully, placed his pajamas back into his bag and then walked outside to the patio. He hung his towel on the chair outside, under the sun to dry and then just took a seat by the steps. He needed some time alone right now. He needed to get the fear out of him and try and smile. Ignorance was something he probably should grow out of - especially with what Erik said - but right now, he just couldn't handle it. What if someone had seen the pool incident and asked about it? What if Freya suddenly called up - what could he possibly tell her? What if the nightmares from a while ago were just a warning? What if there was something worse? What if... What if he saw Maria again today? He just wanted to be alone but Erik wasn't going to let him - that was for sure. More than that, he wanted to stop existing because the pain was all too much. He wanted to walk out into the ocean ahead and let the waves swallow him up and disappear forever.
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BEYOND REPAIR ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM ≛OOC ✌ The things Erik was telling him wasn't new but just as always he had an incredibly hard time in believing it. Though, it did ease him up a bit - probably because someone was actually talking to him and he was listening to that voice instead of the ones in his head. He didn't want to talk to Maria though. He really didn't. He wouldn't know what on earth to say! What could he say after hearing the words she had to say for herself? He had no idea on how to fix it - part of him didn't even want to. He wanted to forget about it and put. It in the past and ignore it but Erik, who was usually correct, was probably right again. if he didn't do something soon they were bound to have a conversation that would be blown out of proportion once again. He also didn't want to talk to Freya. He didn't exactly know why but part of him was glad he had broken his phone, it gave him an excuse not to. Of course there was the offer from Erik but he couldn't possibly take it. He didn't want to. He coughed. Everything still hurt inside. It still felt like vultures were ripping and pecking at his organs. He hugged the pillow he got even tighter. Things were getting very uncomfortable. Very painful. He groaned at the pain and dug his nails into his arms as he shifted on his side slightly. The red head just wanted to be alone but he knew Erik wouldn't leave him. Not when they both knew what kind of state he was in. A hike or something outdoors-y did sound very nice. If others were coming he knew he had to really ignore all of what he was feeling and smile. He shifted once more as the pain felt like it was throbbing everywhere. He took a sharp intake of breath before a shaky exhale escaped him. This was too much. He needed to stop thinking and stop hurting. He didn't glance at his friend but muttered a small "thank you. Good night." And then forced himself to sleep. He only pretended to sleep at first because it took a while before the nightmares took over.
✿ OUTFIT| MUSIC | OOC |MOOD ↝ EXCITED ✿✖ LOCATION ↝ RESORT ✖ "We could play a game or something." suggested Ryder, in which she hugged him tighter and nodded excitedly. That was a good idea! They were in a beach resort - there were bound to be plenty of games or sports they could all play together! "I wonder if this place has a game room or water or outdoor activities planned out for their guests to use..." she thought out loud as she detangled her arms around Ryder and placed them on his shoulders instead, straightening her back as she placed a hand hovering over her eyes as if she was looking at the resort's huts at a distance. It was no use trying to look that far off to spot if there were such activities since they were not very close to the shore. After a small discussion on what they would do next, Elisa hopped off of Ryder and the three raced back to the resort in order to search for games they would play. Of course, Ryder got there first and then Richie and finally Elisa. She panted, holding her dry clothes and towel in one hand while the other gripped on her sun hat and sunnies. They all dried off quickly and Elisa tied her towel around her thin waist before they entered into the resort. Luckily, just as the turquoise teen hoped, there were lots of fun things to do! in which the trio enjoyed to the fullest. Time passed far too quickly and they were already headed back to each of their rooms. it was really nice of the twins to walk her to her room. she gave Richie a tight hug goodbye and Ryder a sweet good night kiss. The day had been as magical as she hoped. When she entered the room Pierce was already there. She gave her a tired smile and wave then quickly apologized for not being around. She took a quick shower and once she got out she got ready for bed. She wanted to ask about Pierce's day and exchange with her stories of her own but she was much too tired. She grabbed her stuffed rabbit and hugged it tightly as she slept in her comfiest pjs.
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BEYOND REPAIR ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » ROOM ≛OOC ✌ He was almost oblivious to Erik breaking through the door but the wooden splinters that scattered on the floor along with the loud cracking sound brought him back to a less hazy reality. After that ruckus, it was really quirt for him again. He blankly gazed in front of him. He was still trying to catch his breath and man, did it hurt. "What happened? Did someone see your scars again?" The red head did not budge. The only noises coming from him were sobs that he was trying to hold back. Why did Erik bother with him? He didn't get it. What was the point? Wasn't he trying to be against him... or was Maria right? The older man kneeled down in front of him and their eyes met. He grabbed Tucker's wrist, in which the younger friend looked away and weakly struggled to get away. "Talk to me." Tucker shook his head, keeping his head low and not meeting Erik's gaze. He tried to pull away from his grip but I seemed like along with hid motivation for life, his strength had depleted as well. Erik let go of his wrists, finally, but moved in for a hug. Tucker squirmed, trying to get away. Little sobbing and whining sounds would escape his shut lips. He was wheezing and really trying to push away with no success at all. His hands were on his friend's chest, trying to get away. "No." He uttered, but it was barely even audible. He just wanted to be alone! He needed to be alone! It was better for everyone! Why couldn't anyone understand that? "Don't touch m-" "Tucker you can talk to me. You know that." Everything fell silent again. He gulped down a sob as memories from about a decade ago rushed back into his mind. Erik was always there - back when all the kids in junior high was afraid of him and doing horrible things to him. He was there when Tucker didn't know what to do at all and he would be unstable and violent. He knew how to handle the mess of a person Tucker was and the red head knew that very well. He was right. He knew he could talk to the only older man who had never tormented him. He fought hard not to burst into sobs. The empty cavern in his chest that used to hold his heart ached even more. His arms fell limp to his sides and he was shaking far more than before. Erik let go of him and helped him to his feet. "Let's get you dressed and you can lie down." Tucker nodded slowly, setting his hand by the wall as he tried to keep himself up. He looked around. Oh, god. The door needed repairs, so did the wall and he actually broke his phone. Was he that upset? Wait! How was he going to contact Freya now?! ........did he really want to? "Come on, Tuck." Erik said, handing him his dry clothes. He took them.from him and the older man exited the bathroom briefly but not going far. Tucker got dressed, truing his best to not look at the mirror because he had no intention of looking at himself. He knew how disgusting he was - ever since he was a child. He was filthy and no matter how many showers and pool saving episodes he had, nothing would rid of the scars. He ignored the mess all over the bathroom for a moment as he exited it. With guidance from Erik, he got to the bed. Tucker curled up on the side, facing the wall with his back on Erik. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly against him. God, he felt so drained. It took him a while to open his mouth without sobbing but finally he was able to speak, "I'll pay for the damages." He muttered. Swallowing a gulp once more he didn't wait for a reply from Erik, "I-I'm horrid, Erik. My father was right. I'm worthless. I only deserve punishment. I'm a monster." His breathing got more and more erratic as he spoke and his eyes stung, tears forcing themselves to appear once more. "I don't know who to trust anymore. I don't know who is telling the truth. I understand why they would lie. I just keep hurting everyone... I-it's my fault! Why I won't be able to call freya anymore. Why we've been in odd terms. Why M-maria has been hurting! Hurting so much! I... oh god-" he couldn't continue. What gave him the right to speak anyway? What gave him the right for anything?
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BEYOND REPAIR ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » POOL/ROOM ≛OOC ✌ He didn't watch her sprint off when she did. How could he? All the words she uttered - or rather, passionately yelled - kept him completely petrified. ❝ How dare you Tucker Knowles. ❞ ❝ I can't be your friend. ❞ ❝ You want me to be around you while you put me through pain? ❞ ❝ I resent you for picking her over me. ❞ He stayed still, his blurred vision glued at one wet tile on the floor. The only obvious movement he was making was blinking and if someone noticed breathing in an uneven manner. However, inside - it was all over the place. All his guts - his heart, his lungs, intestines, stomach, and even his muscles all felt like a bunch of clawed fingers had pierced into them and began stretching them forcefully as they tore apart from his body. The confused, hurt, angered, guilt-tripped and depressed cherry haired man stood there completely dumbfounded. His mind was erratic. It was like all the different things Maria spurted out were flashed in his mind for less than a second at a time. He had no clue on what to focus on. He was lost. ❝ Do you have any idea how badly it hurts me Tucker? ❞ ❝ I thought with time we could be friends again, but we can't. ❞ ❝ You have chosen a child over us! ❞ ❝ I. Love. You. ❞ Tucker could feel his lower lip trembling and the tears from his eyes not stopping. He reached up to gently wipe his tears away - which was useless since they kept falling - and he looked down at his dampened salty fingers and breathed out as if he couldn't believe he was crying. He finally looked up from below and glanced around. People were staring at him. Some with faces of concern, others some kind of smirk and others - heck, he didn't even know what that expression was. He blinked a couple times and everything was still hazy and quiet but then a second later it was like he could hear the people's murmurs as they watched him. "Did you hear that girl, she said child!" "Man, that was one break-up. Should have got it on my phone." "I don't care, he's cute!" "That felt like reality television but you know, like, real." "Is he crying? Ohmygod, how pathetic." It was as if he just got zapped into reality. He felt his entire body shaking and his eyes darted from one person to the next until he finally felt his stone-like limbs begin to move. He took a step back, followed by another and then another. All those horrid words were still echoing in his ears and he just wanted to stop hearing them but even as he placed his hands tightly onto his ears and closed his eyes tightly he could still hear them. His breathing became very heavy and completely unstable and before he could register it into his chaotic mind, his legs had carried him off to a sprint back towards his room. He dodged on going people, not even bothering to say excuse me or stop and be polite. He didn't stop running. He couldn't. It was like he was being chased by the voices in his head and he just wanted to ignore it and forget about it completely but they were hot on his trail. The disoriented man finally made it to the door of his room, practically crashing into the door before he was able to grip the doorknob, turn it an stumble into the room. He shut the door behind him quickly and an alarmed Erik greeted him. The older man had previously just been lying in bed, enjoying himself over a book but once his younger friend noisily entered the room it was clear that something was wrong. How Tucker looked probably left the dark haired man speechless. He probably looked really pathetic and broken - which was actually, really appropriate because that's how it felt. The two men stared at each other for a couple seconds, as many different things began to come into Tucker's mind. Part of him wanted to give Erik a shove - not the friendly one he usually did, but a proper shove that would cause him to slam against the wall and allow Tucker to throw some punches. He didn't exactly know why he felt like doing it but everything was so confusing and instinctively all Erik beeped now in his head was bad ne- ❝ Erik hasn't betrayed you. He's looking out for your best interests. ❞ His hands balled into fists, letting out an annoyed sigh as he looked away from Erik.To believe it or not? …Did it matter? He bit down at his bottom lip and then quickly got onto moving again. He grabbed the phone he had left on the bed and some clothes to change into, went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut without a word. Tucker made sure he locked the door and he immediately started playing some loud rock music on full blast on his phone to guise the sounds Erik might have been making for him to get out of the bathroom. Before any of his thoughts could go any further, he noticed that the last thing he did on his phone was text Freya - because their conversation was up on his screen. For a moment he just stared. Blinked. Waited until he felt some emotion out of it but when nothing came, Maria's voice came blundering into his mind again. ❝ Freya, pushed me up against a wall, held her arm to my throat so that I could barely breathe, and threatened me to stay away from you. ❞ The sudden adrenaline from running away from the murmuring voices quickly drained and now there was nothing to distract him from the internal pain. The cherry red haired man slid down to sit on the floor with his back onto the wall as he began to sob. He crossed his legs together and placed his elbows by his knees as he slammed his forehead into his palms. He choked on his sobs, beginning to cough out and feeling like he was going to vomit. Breathing was a struggle because every breath was just another exhaling sob and it felt like his lungs were lined with needles. He swore his heart had been ripped out of him because all he felt in his chest was excruciating pain while his stomach also threatened to twist and turn incredibly uncomfortably. It was slowly crawling up to him that everything: all of the hurt and pain he was feeling - all the hurt and pain Maria was feeling - this was all his fault. All of it. He hadn't felt this much pain for a very long time - knowing that he had caused someone to go through something so awful and tormenting? He thought that was all in the past. But it wasn't and just like while he was growing up - he never realized it and when he finally did, it was all too late. He began to dig his elbows deeper and deeper into his skin, hoping that the physical pain he began putting himself would ease the other. He could feel his ankles grinding against the tile floor of the bathroom. He grabbed his cherry locks in his fingers and began to pull at them, squeezing his nails into his palms until it hurt so much he wanted to stop but he didn't. How could he have not seen it again? The pain of others - especially the one caused by him. It would be a lie to say he never knew how Maria felt. He just didn't remember because he ignored it. He purposely did not commit it to memory - it was just something he did. He never expected their dwindling friendship to be blown so out of proportion. He didn't want to stop being friends with her in the first place and now… now that was all over. ❝ I thought with time we could be friends again, but we can't. ❞ … ❝ Do you have any idea how badly it hurts me Tucker? ❞ Shut up. ❝ I can't be your friend. ❞ Shut up! ❝ You want me to be around you while you put me through pain? ❞ "Shut up!" his fingers gripped his hair even more tightly as he pressed his elbows deeper into his skin. It was already bruising. The voices wouldn't stop. It was like a broken record. Stop it already! Couldn't they understand? He was in pain too! He hoped that every ounce of his body would die in a second. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He couldn't feel. He couldn't. Everything just felt like it was getting worse and worse and worse. He wanted it to end. He didn't want this anymore. All he did in life was cause people problems and grant them misfortunes. The demon of guilt that lived inside him finally took over. He couldn't handle it anymore. He just wanted everything to stop. His phone lit up suddenly. He didn't know for what reason but the moment it did he lashed out. He wanted everyone to stay away from him! He was dangerous! He was a living curse! Why did people still want to speak with him?! His hand reached for his phone quickly and with one swift notion he threw it against the wall in front of him. The loud rock music immediately got cut. He exhaled heavily, then with another burst of self-hatred, he threw his head back. The wall made contact with the back of his skull with a rather loud thud. Everything was hazy from there. He probably hit himself harder than he should have but he didn't care. It seemed to have worked. The demons and the voices and the vultures seemed to have died down along with everything else. It sounded like it came from a great distance but there was loud knocking at the door. Heh, were they worried about him? He hoped not. Tucker was enveloped by only a single thought now: ❝ You are destroying me Tucker. It hurts so much. ❞ and she was completely right. It was wrong to be with him because that's all he could do well. He obviously wasn't keen on keeping friendships or remembering things or knowing who were the villains and the heroes. He was a destroyer. ❝ I. Love. You. ❞ Loved him? What on earth was there to love?
✿ OUTFIT| MUSIC | OOC |MOOD ↝ EXCITED ✿ ✖ LOCATION ↝ BEACH ✖ The blue haired teen squealed as Ryder wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up in the air. "Hey there," he said before giving her a kiss - in which she wrapped her arms around his neck but when they broke off and her feet found its way back to the sand beds below she slid her wet hands down to his shoulders. She smiled up at him, gazing into his deep, blue eyes that sparkled like the waves hitting the sun. Her body was still pressed against his, she could feel their bare skin touching and it made her blush. She immediately covered it up with a grin and took a step back from her boyfriend and turned to Richie. She kept the happy expression on for her best friend and ran up to him giving him a hug. When she released the boy she took a couple more steps to stand in between them and speak to them both. She cleared her throat for a moment, then put her fists by her waist before pumping one into the air, "It's beach time!" Excited as ever, Elisa bent down and cupped her hands together. They gathered water and then she began splashing them to both Ryder and Richie. Giggles and laughter escaped her as she tried to run away from the splashes they would throw at her. As they played together, they slowly started to veer off from the shore. At first, the water would stop by her waist and it would be easy to splash everyone! But as she continued to run away, the water was already by her chest and soon she could barely touch the floor below! She had to keep jumping up and down - but hey! It was all good! Feeling a little tired from all the splash sparring the trio had, she swam over to her boyfriend, wrapping her arms over his shoulders and staying close to him. She locked her legs over his torso and pressed onto his back - like a piggy back ride! She was wanting and still giggling after all that fun. She looked at the twins, they seemed to be having a good time too! She licked her salty lips, and tucked wet, blue locks behind her ear, "So, we've got this whole resort to ourselves for the next couple days. Any big plans you guys want to do?"
Oh wow, girl power! We actually won one heheeh 9
Do your school work if you have any. If not, do school work anyway. (I should be telling myself this)
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » POOL ≛OOC ✌ She wasn't looked at him and was completely silent as well. He didn't take his eyes off of her. Not for a second until she answered his question. It was a long silence and Tucker wanted to shake her or wave a hand in front of her face to check if she was even paying attention. He glanced to his side for a second as he released a sigh and decided it would be best to repeat his question as he was afraid she had forgotten it - but just as he turned back to her and was about to part his lips to speak she shook her head, ❝ You picked Freya, ❞ He couldn't help but pop an eyebrow up and looked at her with a completely confused expression. "Wh- excuse me?" You picked Freya. What did she mean by that?! What did it have to do with anything? He tried his hardest to find a connection about the words Maria just spoke - even diving deeper into his twisted mind haunted by all the hurt and pain. Unfortunately, he really couldn't find anything. Maria and Freya never seemed to be on a bad note - not one that he could remember at least. Erik, sure. But Maria? What? How come? Why??? Getting lost in his own thoughts he was brought back by the unstable and loud voice of Maria, tears were rolling down her cheeks. It made his heart sink. Why was she crying? Everything was so confusing. ❝ Things were changing between us. After such a long time, things were becoming great between us ❞ What did she mean? They were friends for a long time - always had been until just recently - things were always great between them! ❝-- the kiss, ❞ A shiver ran down his spine and it felt like an iron rod had shot at his chest, hitting his heart. He thought he had forgotten all about that completely. He didn't want to remember it. Not one bit. ❝your confession about your dad. ❞ He bit down hard on his tongue a his eyes widened. How dare she? Was she trying to use this against him? Why was she mentioning this? He thought he had made it clear how secret and personal this was for him. ❝And then - and then you picked her! ❞ When she pounded at his chest, he swore she had knives in her hands because everything inside of him felt like they were wringing together and squeezing against each other so tightly that they were about to burst. He could feel his own eyes tearing up as he looked down at Maria, who was already sobbing, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was mostly taken aback by the things she was making him remember - all those weird, strange and horrid things! ❝ It didn't make sense. I still don't understand. ❞ Heh. She could say that again. He was certain he had never been so confused in his life before. ❝Freya came out of nowhere and she's a kid. I couldn't take it. Everything was falling apart. I was attacked, and Bryan died, and Stephan was being super sketchy, and the apartment was ransacked, and then when I turned to you for help you just -- you didn't look at me the same. You were giving Freya the look you gave me. ❞ The look? He knew which one she was talking about. Sean and Erik teased him about it before, got a good laugh out of it, and Freya did mention it saying she thought it was cute. But that, admitingly, dorky look he had towards certain girls - he did not recall ever looking at Maria like that. Why would he? They were just friends. ❝ Then when I tried to explain on the voice mail, you never replied. I know I was the one to say we shouldn't be friends anymore, but that's because I can't sit by and watch you flit around with some seventeen-year-old Tucker. She threatened me! ❞ "Hey!" he couldn't stop himself. Sure, he felt a little sympathy and a lot of guilt when she mentioned the attack and him not responding to her voice mail but when she started speaking about Freya like that - that drew the line. "You've got it a-" ❝ When we were at Erik's and you and him were working on the video editing, she slammed me against the wall and threatened me to stay away from you! You have no idea what kind of person you're even dating. I can't handle the idea of just being your friend. ❞ His heart ached more than ever. He sniffled, feeling tears fall from his eyes which he quickly wiped away with his thumb. He looked away from her. He couldn't look at her right now, but noticed she had taken a seat. How could she speak about Freya like that? Freya would never, ever do such a thing. He wanted to consider the other things she had said, knowing that his blissful ignorance didn't help anything between them at all, but after speaking like that about someone he really cared about and who really made him happy just hurt too much. He licked his upper lip, taking in a shaky breath as he opened his mouth to speak. No words came out. It felt like his throat had been stitched together after his voice box had been smashed. Heck, breathing made his chest hurt. Physically, nothing was wrong with him but the emotional intake this situation was taking on him was too much to bear and everything just hurt. He cleared his throat in an attempt to speak again but nothing happened. Tucker wiped more tears from the corner of his eyes then finally got himself to look back at her. He kept quiet for a while, trying to stabilize his breathing. He still didn't get it. Not completely, maybe a bit. He understood Maria was upset with him and Freya - not separately, but as a whole. Apparently them dating was not a good thing. He couldn't see why it was. Shouldn't she understand? That she should be happy for them! That he finally had the confidence to step up and change from his old ways about the whole relationships kind of thing. He was finally trying to evolve from that broken and messed up side of him - and Freya was helping out! She was good! She was one of the best things that had ever happened to him in a long time. He took in a shaky breath once more, "Y-you're wrong." he breathed out, feeling the tears he had just wiped away roll down his cheek again. "I don't- I don't even want to think about how you got that s-story about Freya in your head... Was it Erik? Are you both trying to do something to me? How can you be so mean to Freya? I-I feel like all my friends are turning their backs on me. B-betraying me and I just don't get it!" he took another deep breath in, raking a hand through his wet hair and looking elsewhere for a moment before returning back to Maria, his mind went all fuzzy by this time. He had no train of thought about what was going to spill out of his mouth whatsoever. It was all just reflections of all these messed up emotions and confessions. "And I'm angry. I'm angry! But for some odd reason, no matter how hurt and pissed off I am, I can never let go of any of you! I never wanted this to happen! I want to be your friends, Freya makes me really happy but I still want my friends by my side too, and if-if you don't like that idea... then... then... I- I just don't know anymore."
✌ CLOTHES ≛ MOOD » WTH ≛ TUNES≛ LOCATION » RESORT ≛OOC ✌ "Thank you," she said softly, "for worrying about me, and for saving me. I really appreciate it." He only nodded again, still not being able to look at her. He tried not to think about what she just said, he always tends to overanalyze everything - but he couldn't help it. As tender as her voice sounded, he couldn't help but feel it was not genuine. He was still brought back to that voice mail he got from her and that really hurt. It was hurting to be next to her right now and trying to strike up a conversation. "I really hate the way things are between us," He turned to look at her immediately. He stared at her blankly as she turned away. What? Was he hearing things right? Did she just say "I really hate how things are between us."? Yes. Yes she did! Tucker's gaze went back to the clear waters of the pool and he had to play her words in his head again like a broken record and blink his eyes a couple times. She hated how things were between them? What was she talking about? She had started it! He thought everything was going alright and then suddenly she drops a bomb like that - and he didn't even have a clue on why. Why would she be hating on what was going on between them if she was the one w- "Sorry, forget I said anything." Water dripped down off her dress as she started to rise to her feet. "Thanks again Tucker." He snapped his head up at her and watched her begin to walk away. He licked his upper lip nervously, feeling his chest tighten and his muscles tense. His heart was beating faster and every beat made it hurt more. His emotions were running wild inside of him and all of them were pain, guilt, confusion and hurt. It was driving him crazy and oddly gave him confidence too. It happened quickly, he grabbed his towel, draped it around his neck and down his shoulders and put his slippers on as he got to his feet. He jogged up to her, leaving water footprints as he did and stopping in front of her to make sure she wasn't leaving until he answered his question, which he said immediately as if he had been keeping the words locked right at his throat for the longest time as they fought to finally come out, "No. We're not dropping this. Not this time." he breathed out, "Wh-What happened between us? Maria, you have to tell me. You were one of my, a-as I considered it, best friends and then- then you just got rid of that. Why? Why would you do that? What happened?"
