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As long as the whipping cream is light and fluffy, it goes great on anything sweet.

Glad to be back. :)

Wow! I've been wondering how you've been doing!

Pizza? :p

How could I forget you? ;)

Not if the paper has to be typed, printed out, stapled and handed in before the beginning of class. :sideways:

​

Mwa ha ha!

Ahem. :p

To be honest, promising not to come back until the updates were done was a constant pain. I really wanted to come back earlier, but because the...

It's like I've been saying recently, cookies and pie can coexist peacefully.

They don't matter once you've consumed them. :3

Warning: This poem is PG-13

Spoiler

Placebo: A Sonnet​

In there is where the sense of wonder lies;

untold untruths of the past go rushing fast,

but hope of heart in which it never dies

by lust and love. I’m shocked the dice are cast.

No pain or sorrow breaks the sound of mind

unlike romantic, erotic dreams of Sex

in naked glory. “Shine!” I shout, inclined

to strip off her clothes. But stupid patience wrecks

my dreams and sense of the present keeps me sane.

Can there be hope in darkness or truth in light?

I wonder why her panties can’t be obtained

by easy methods. Coming out to fight

the wrong from the right and nothing will be spared.

This sonnet makes no sense. Who really cared?

Yup. I'm back, baby. ;)

Ouch. Death by cannibalism. And yet, ironic considering Pac-Man eats ghosts for a living.

Unless he changes into Super Pac-Man. Then it's just weird.

With his jaws pried open like a giant yawn?

Now back to what I was originally doing and getting my homework done at the last minute that's due in an hour. :p

Hometown Buffet says otherwise.

And I love you too.

The Reckoning...(2 of 4)

"When he's fighting Xemnas, his Majesty reminds me of someone..." Through Sora's eyes, Roxas was observing King Mickey as he was locked in a deadly dance of clashing blades with Xemnas.

"Really?" Curious to where this was leading to, Naminé and Kairi looked over in the King's direction. "Who?"

"It's so obvious!" Roxas chuckled. "Pointy ears, wrinkles, mental powers and you know who he'd be a dead ringer for?"

"You don't mean..." Naminé gasped.

"Yes! He'd look just like Spock from Star Trek!"

"Well, duh!" Naminé did a double take. "Wait...Spock? Are you serious?!"

"Yeah!" Roxas couldn't miss the disbelief in Naminé's voice. "Who'd you think I was going to say?"

"Now that you mention it..." Sora couldn't help but picture the King in a Starfleet uniform. The image almost made him laugh.

"Uh..." Kairi gave Sora/Roxas an incredulous look. "A small guy going against someone wearing black leather and wielding lightsabers. Doesn't that remind you of something else?"

Sora thought for a moment. Then he shook his head. "Nope. Nothing rings a bell."

Kairi facepalmed. "Incredibly hopeless is what you are."

"Hate to break up your lover's spat," Wakka interrupted, "but we ARE in the middle of a fight right now!" Along with Sora and Kairi, he and Pence found themselves facing none other than Axel and the black-cloaked Roxas.

Axel readjusted his grip on his right chakram. "To think the Organization's been reduced to taking out a bunch of kids." Then he glanced over at the Roxas doppelganger. "No offense."

Roxas' doppelganger didn't even break a smirk. "Let's just get this over with." Org Roxas pointed his Oathkeeper at Pence. "I'll take the fat one."

"The name's Pence, you Blonde-Haired Kook!"

"Hey! I resent that!" the Roxas inside Sora objected. "BHK stands for 'Blonde-Haired Kid,' not-" Before he could continue his complaint, Sora had to quickly bring his Keyblade forward to deflect Axel's strike.

"Axel, why don't you recognize us?" Sora pleaded. The Flurry of Dancing Flames hesitated for a moment, looking unsure as if he were struggling to remember something.

"I...I'm not sure. Why do I feel like I know you?"

"The Organization must've removed any recollections of us from his memory," Naminé said. But there was something nagging in the back of Kairi's mind. Something that was important.

"Didn't you..." She tried to collect her thoughts. "Didn't you mention something from the Ansem Reports? Something about..." Kairi knew she was onto something, but the answer eluded her.

"Axel! Remember the mission!" Org Roxas' words shook Axel out of his memory-hazed fog. Before the doppelganger could say anymore, Wakka rushed in and slammed his right palm fully into Org Roxas' face like a linebacker with the football. He kept his weight on his free arm to pin his enemy to the ground as he raised his Blitzball with the intention of shoving it in so hard that the black-cloaked teenager would end up with his face imploded.

"Memorize this!" Wakka cried as he prepared to smash his Blitzball into Roxas' visage. Unfortunately, this left both of Org Roxas' Keyblades free. The Blitzball traveled only inches before the Keyblades stopped it in a scissor-like vicegrip. Before Wakka knew what happened, the ball was twisted out of his grip and flung out of reach before he ended up with Roxas on top of him, the Keyblades crossed over his throat and ready to cut his head off.

"You know, these Keyblades can slice through almost anything," Roxas' doppelganger said as he began to close the gap between his blades and Wakka's neck. "I've had to live without a heart. How would you like to live without a head?"

"BACK OFF!" Kairi shouted. Her silky, smooth leg smashed into Roxas' stunned facial expression, snapping his neck back and sending his body flying. Wakka's eyes widened in surprise.

"That was a nice kick!" he complimented. Wakka flipped up to his feet and chased after his discarded Blitzball.

"You could've just hit him with the Keyblade," Naminé observed.

Kairi couldn't help but smirk. "Where's the fun in that?"

"Kairi! Behind you!" Sora shouted. While her attention was focused on Roxas, Axel had taken the opportunity to jump backwards through a portal only to pop out from behind Kairi for a sneak attack. The girl whirled around and managed to parry one of his chakrams, but the spiky, redhead was able to get under her guard and slash with the other. His arms whirled as his weapons sliced a chunk of fabric from her outfit, revealing her bare midriff for the umpteenth time that day.

"You know, I'm starting to feel like I'm in one of those perverted animes," Kairi muttered as Axel leapt out of attack range before she could retaliate. "Just not complete without some girl's clothes flying off."

"Enough!" Pence aimed Cid's flamethrower at Axel, cranked it up to full power and pulled the trigger. It was as if he had just ignited a rocket booster as a massive river of flame burst out of the weapon's nozzle. The force was so great that Pence was knocked back a few steps from the explosion.

Axel couldn't help but chuckle as he saw the flames shoot toward him. With just an almost lazy flick of his wrist, the stream of fire sharply turned away from him and straight toward Sora.

The sudden burst rocketing toward him caught the Keyblade master off guard, causing him to get nicked by the blast. A sudden jolt of pain caused Sora to wince as he realized that some of the flame's embers managed to fly inside the sleeve of his outfit and burned his right shoulder. As Sora instinctively patted the burn in an attempt to cool it down, Org Roxas had managed to recover from Kairi's kick and flew towards Sora with Oathkeeper and Oblivion at the ready.

"Watch out! I'm...I mean, he's coming!" the real Roxas warned. Sora whirled around and parried Org Roxas' Oblivion with his good arm. Unfortunately, Sora wasn't used to wielding the Keyblade with his left arm and he felt a sharp, fleeting pain in his wrist. Taking advantage, Roxas smashed Oathkeeper's handle into Sora's burned shoulder, causing Sora to cry out in agony.

"Pathetic," the black cloaked boy taunted in a quiet voice. "And you're supposed to be my original self?" He pulled back his Oathkeeper and prepared to stab at Sora's heart.

"Drive!" Roxas shouted.

Without hesitating for an instant, Sora tucked his arms and legs in and cried out, "GIVE ME STRENGTH!" The crystal-like sphere enveloped his entire body, shielding him from his opponent's deathblow. As the sphere shattered, Org Roxas was blasted back from the explosion of light and landed on his feet, staring at Sora's Limit Form outfit. Completely healed, Sora rushed at Org Roxas with his Keyblade at the ready.

* * *

Meanwhile, Pence was smacking the flamethrower with his palm in frustration. "Come on, you stupid piece of junk!" Pence was so focused on his malfunctioning weapon, he didn't notice Axel gliding in with his chakrams raised back to strike.

"Oh no you don't!" Wakka yelled. With the Blitzball tucked in the crook of his elbow, Wakka shoved Pence out of Axel's range with his free hand, ducked underneath Axel's outstretched arms and body-checked the flaming redhead.

As Axel massaged his stomach, he winced slightly out of reaction more than pain. His eyes narrowed at Wakka. "Kid, you don't want to make me mad!" In response, Wakka twirled around and chucked his Blitzball straight towards the redhead's face.

Without flinching, Axel slammed his chakrams into the ground. A pillar of flame erupted in front of Axel, deflecting the ball's trajectory back to its owner. Wakka managed to catch the rebound before he realized a body-sized circle was appearing underneath his feet. Seconds later, he was blasted skyward by another flame pillar, effectively incapacitated for a few seconds. Those seconds were all that Axel needed to finish what he started. Tightening his grip on his weapons, the Flurry of Dancing Flames made a mad dash towards Pence again.

Panicking because he finally noticed the incoming threat, Pence heaved the nozzle towards Axel and pressed the trigger in the hopes that flames would protect him from his assailant. Unfortunately, instead of embers, oil began to stream out of the nozzle. At an embarrassing angle, it almost looked like Pence was leaking onto the moist, brown ground. With nothing to protect him but a broken hunk of metal in his arms, Pence almost felt like taking a leak for real.

"Sorry, kid." Axel shook his head slightly. "You just weren't hot enough." If Pence were thinking clearly, he might've thrown the broken flamethrower in Axel's direction in the hopes that he would've survived for an extra few seconds. Unfortunately, it wouldn't have made a difference. With a snap of Axel's fingers, the oil instantly burst into flames setting Pence ablaze.

From his bird's eye perspective, Wakka was helpless to protect Pence from Axel's fire manipulation. However, the ball player realized that he had a perfect shot at Sora's opponent. A few moments later, Org Roxas' head was smacked upside the head by a Blitzball, followed by a full-grown human body that landed on top of him with a thunderous crash. As the dust cleared from the impact, Wakka coughed up some dirt out of his lungs and pointed Sora and Kairi's attention towards the flaming Pence.

Kairi quickly aimed her Keyblade and shouted "FREEZE!" The spell managed to abolish the flames from Pence's body, but the damage had already been done.

Sora whipped his head toward Wakka. "Get Pence away from here! We'll cover you!" Wakka wasted no time in picking up the injured boy and dashing for safety on the other side of a nearby rock.

Org Roxas used Oblivion to heave himself back to his feet and began closing in on Sora and Kairi. Axel appeared on the other side of the fated couple, effectively sandwiching them in a pincer formation. Both single wielders stared down the dual-wielders that surrounded them.

Circling the engaged couple like lions, Axel couldn't help but chuckle. "Two on two? Doesn't seem fair now does it?" Axel mused.

"The Organization owes you two for destroying Kingdom Hearts and the opportunity to become whole beings again," Org Roxas said coolly. "In the end, it doesn't even matter. We had to fall to lose it all, but in the end-"

"Linkin Park?" Sora interrupted. He couldn't help but give the Roxas clone a look of disbelief. "Seriously, the least they could've done was update your references."

"Geez, was I always this..." Roxas couldn't think of the word.

"Irritating?" Naminé suggested. "After the way your clone shoved his face into my..." She shuddered at the memory. "Let's just say that it's going to be a long time before you even get to second base with me."

"Aw, Naminé. And here I thought you liked me," Roxas teased.

Kairi scratched at her bare midriff. "No matter how many times my body gets exposed, I feel dirtier every single time someone sees me naked." She glanced over at Sora's Limit Form-clad body out of the corner of her eye. "By the way, love the classic look."

Sora licked his lips and gulped. "And you look, uh..." He was slightly stunned that even in the weariness of battle, Kairi's looks made him speechless.

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Just say it already, Romeo."

"You look pretty nice," Sora blurted out. He could hear Naminé and Roxas letting out pitying sighs.

"Out of all the compliments that you could've come up with, that was the best you had?" Roxas shook his head in the back of Sora's mind. "When this is all over, you and I are going to have a little talk."

"Face it, tiger. You hit the jackpot," Kairi teased with a wink. Sora was about to reply, but the sudden flash of movement from their opponents signaled that the time for talk was over. Without missing a beat, Sora dived at Axel while Kairi blitzed toward the Roxas clone. The Keyblade wielders were locked in a deadly dance with dangerous, dual-wielding dynamos.

As Axel swiped and slashed with merciless intensity, Sora couldn't help but feeling a sense of deja vu. A boy in rodent-shaped shoes among a palace of ivory...

"You lost before, kid!" Axel taunted. "What's so different this time?" Outmatching his opponent in speed, Axel circled around Sora and let loose his chakrams, embers flaking off through their path. Unfortunately for the redhead, Sora and Roxas had the advantage of remembering every single bout they've ever had against each other. Knowing Axel's fighting style by heart, Sora whirled around and managed to execute a perfect Guard, nullifying any damage.

Axel's eyebrows rose in surprise, a sight that made Roxas smirk slightly from the back corner of Sora's mind. "Last time it was five-on-one." The Keyblade spun around in Sora's hand. "I know it's not your fault the Organization erased your memories of us. But if you're the Axel I remember..." There was a tinge of pity in the teenager's tone. "...you'll forgive us."

Sora thrusted the Keyblade with great force that his feet seemed to glide effortlessly across the rocky terrain. "TAKE THIS!" Sora's body was a blur as his form darted back and forth across the battlefield. With each pass, the Keyblade smashed through Axel's defenses and connected with multiple hits to his upper body.

Because of Axel's own memories being purged and rewritten to not include any familiarity of his opponent, he was completely helpless with shock that his trademark speed wasn't fast enough to counterattack Sora's Sonic Blade. Axel doubled over from Sora's final blow, clutching his stomach.

"You got me..." he gasped. Sora turned to face Axel, half-expecting him to dissolve into data bits to confirm his defeat. Unfortunately, this turned out to be a fatal lapse of judgment. "Psych!" Before Sora could put up his guard, Axel hurled a chakram into the Keyblade wielder's face.

"Sora!" Roxas cried as Sora's body flew back in a high arc. Time seemed to slow down for the Keyblade wielder as his reflexes kicked in. Without even thinking, Sora jammed the Keyblade into the ground to stop his body in motion and managed to twist himself back upright. As Sora shuffled his feet back into position, Kairi was having problems of her own.

The Org's Roxas was pursuing Kairi relentlessly, Oathkeeper and Oblivion slashing after her. With every swipe of his Keyblades, Nobody symbols appeared overhead shooting lasers straight into the ground and shot themselves outward, their beams trailing across the earth.

"Dontgetstrippeddontgetstrippeddontgetstripped..." was the mantra Kairi kept running in her mind as she evaded Org. Roxas' assault.

"I thought you were going to face me," the black clad Roxas taunted, "not run away like the stereotypical hero's girlfriend that everyone thinks you are." Kairi stopped to a dead halt and whirled around at her attacker, her red hair shimmering across her shoulders.

"You did NOT just call me a damsel in distress!" Kairi's eyes flashed at him angrily as she sidestepped a stray laser. "Husband-in-law or not, your clone butt is going down!" The Princess of Heart leapt into the air, heaved the Keyblade above her head and swung it down toward her opponent's head with enraged force. Reacting quickly, Org. Roxas jumped backward out of range and hurled his Keyblades at her. They flew like sawblades in outward arcs before swooping in at their target.

"Duck!" Naminé yelled. Kairi instinctively threw her body forward into a Dodge Flip. She could feel the wind being generated from the spinning Keyblades as they rushed past her ears, mere centimeters from both sides of her head. Although her quick reaction was able to dodge the attack, her body (namely, her outfit) didn't go unscathed.

As she righted herself, Kairi's shoulder straps suddenly came neatly apart and hung loosely like wet noodles, leaving her top to slide slightly downward to reveal some embarrassing cleavage. "Geez, haven't you guys seen me naked enough already?!" Kairi yelled as she shimmied her top as high as she possibly could.

"Apparently not," Naminé sighed.

"Couldn't you just, I don't know, Mind Crush him? From what I heard, you were able to do it with Riku's replica."

"Repliku's a different case. I was the one who personally implanted his memories, so I was the only one who could undo what I did. This Roxas clone they created was given selected memories through artificial means. In other words, I'm pretty much locked out."

"Well, it'd be too easy if you WERE able to do anything about it," Kairi muttered darkly.

Org Roxas twirled a Keyblade in each hand and very carefully placed them on the hard, earthen ground. Kairi couldn't help but have a feeling of deja vu as his weapons began to scrape across the ground as he charged toward her, a killing glare etched on his face. Kairi readied her stance.

"Why did he pick you?!" Org Roxas suddenly cried, raising Oathkeeper. Kairi blinked in confusion.

"What?" She jerked her foot back as Oathkeeper smashed into its former occupied position. Drawing her arms back in a circular motion, Kairi swung at her opponent's exposed shoulder. A sickening crack reverberated through the air as her weapon made contact with its target. Org Roxas grunted in pain, his Keyblade clattering to the ground from his numbed fingers.

"Out of all that he could've chosen, why'd he pick you?" Undaunted, Org Roxas retaliated by swiping Oblivion across her legs, causing her already short outfit to easily expose her panties. Kairi's face matched the shade of her hair.

"You pervert!" Her foot smashed Org Roxas across his face, sending him flying back through the air. "What are you talking about? Do you mean Sora?" Her opponent twisted his body upright and landed back into position. He massaged his aching jaw with his good shoulder.

"You have no idea, do you?" Kairi had the nagging feeling that she was missing something, as if the words seemed to have some sort of importance.

"...why he picked me..." Kairi lowered her Keyblade as she echoed what she had just seen. She closed her eyes, tuning out everything else.

"Kairi?" As the black-cloaked Roxas lifted his Oblivion and charged toward her, the redhead stood rooted to the spot in thought.

"Part of me..." Kairi knew she was onto something, but the day's events were keeping her from concentrating. Her face was taut with focus.

"Um, Kairi?" Naminé repeated, a slight panic in her voice now. Org Roxas was mere feet from the girls when he leapt in the air, Oblivion raised.

"Disappear," was all that he uttered.

"KAIRI!" Naminé screamed. Kairi's eyes snapped open and in one fluid movement, stabbed the Keyblade in her opponent's direction.

"GATHER!" Without warning, Org Roxas' body seemed to snap backward through the air as Kairi's Magnega spell caught him in its pull.

"What?!" he yelled in surprise. As the teenage blonde orbited in the air, Kairi Aerial Dodged up to his level and as soon as he floated into range, she flipped her Keyblade around and smashed its handle across his face.

"I realized that since they've been gathering data on me, they know my fighting style by now, right?" Kairi explained to Naminé. "So I figure that if I change my battle strategy, they'll have a harder time to adapt."

"So what you're saying..." Naminé began.

"In other words, less worrying about getting stripped and more getting down and naughty...I mean, dirty," Kairi quickly corrected herself as her cheeks reddened. "All this pervertedness must really be getting to me," she muttered darkly. Kairi grabbed a fistful of leather of Org Roxas' cloak with her free hand and yanked him out of the spell's fading orbit and crashed her knee into his face. While he was stunned, Kairi kicked her right leg over his head and spun around until she could clamp her thighs around his skull.

"Didn't you do this move with Xemnas?" Naminé asked. As Kairi reached down for the teenager's legs, Naminé added, "You know, after this is over, you should totally think of getting into professional wrestling."

"You want to see my underwear that badly, you jerk?! Fine then!" One extreme close-up of Kairi's panties and the hooded Roxas lost his icy-steel composure.

"Not again!" he cried. Org Roxas started to struggle, but it was already too late as the duelists hurtled towards earth. And with a spectacular crash, Kairi piledrived her opponent mercilessly into the rocky floor, causing chunks of dirt to fly everywhere.

As Kairi released her hold, she couldn't help but smirk slightly. "You've got to remember, Naminé: This may be the serious, job-oriented clone of Roxas, but he's still a typical teenage male."

"Well, at least it wasn't my underwear that he was ogling at this time," Naminé replied with a sigh.

* * *

"Just hold on, man," Wakka huffed with a critically injured Pence in his arms. "Just hold on." With every Organization member busy dealing with their own personal group of Sora's allies, it almost seemed like a miracle that the boys managed to find some refuge behind a tall rock formation without opposition. As Wakka got down on one knee and laid Pence carefully on the ground, the slightly rotund boy let out a small moan.

"Am I dead?" Pence looked up at Wakka's concerned face and gave him a weak smile. Wakka could only shake his head in amusement.

"Believe me, the Underworld probably couldn't be any worse than whatever messed-up dimension we're in right now."

"I'm thinking I should've stayed outside and monitored the rest of you instead of trying to fight." Pence's body shivered slightly. "I mean, who am I kidding? I'm a computer hacker, not a brawler! I'm only good for supporting roles."

"Don't worry about it. The fact that you're still alive means you're a survivor. You haven't rolled up and died. Besides, all supporting characters are allowed to equip some means to defend themselves." When Pence still didn't look convinced, Wakka reached for his back pocket. "Here." He pulled out a bottle of Mega Potion. "This'll probably heal all those burns of yours..."

"But I'll still feel like crap?" Pence joked.

"At least you'll be on your feet again." Wakka stood up from his kneeling position. "After you heal, stay behind this rock. It's the safest place for the time being. Try to think of some way for anybody else here that can't fight to escape."

"From the inside? That's impos-" The Blitzball player could see the gears turn in the computer geek's head. "If we can find a control panel or something of the like in this room, I just might be able to create a back door." Pence gingerly sat up. "What about you?" he asked. "Where are you going?" Wakka confidently spun his ball on his finger.

"To help some star-crossed lovers live long enough to reach the aisle."

* * *

Kairi stood up and waved away some dust clouds that were hovering in front of her face. As her field of vision cleared, the dust clouds dissipated to reveal a wobbly Org Roxas propping himself up with Oblivion.

"How..." The girls almost felt bad for seeing Roxas in a messed-up state. Almost. "How can I lose to someone like you?! You're not one of the Keyblade's chosen!" Org Roxas coughed out some gravel bits. "I'm supposed to be the Key of Destiny!"

"Yeah? Well, I'm Hayden Panettiere!" Kairi shot back sarcastically. Org Roxas only stared blankly back at her. "You know? That girl from Heroes?" she clarified.

"You mean Hiro?" Naminé chirped.

"Yeah, that's the one." Kairi's brain did a double-take. "No, hey! Do I look Japanese? Wait, don't answer that."

"What exactly are you trying to prove by fighting us anyway? You're no hero!" Org Roxas continued as he struggled to stand back up. "Look at you. You're supposed to be a Princess; some girl that waited on her butt for years expecting her Prince Charming to return and ended up getting herself kidnapped not once, not twice, but three times! Just what do you think you're playing at?!"

"I didn't know Roxas felt this strongly," Naminé murmured.

"I don't think that's it," Kairi said. "He's a clone, right? Something tells me that whatever personality or memories he was implanted with is starting to break down."

"Think the flashing did it?" Naminé replied rhetorically. By this time, Org Roxas managed to catch his second wind and stand up from his hunched over state.

"All you'll ever be is this helpless, little girl that easily succumbs not from pain, but by being tickled!" Org Roxas gave an un-Roxas-like smirk. "Seriously, I think your weakness is pathetic." He pointed Oathkeeper at the girls with a flourish.

"Are you just asking to get your butt kicked?" Kairi snapped. "We've already been through all of this with Larxene, with Zexion..." She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. "By Hades, we've been putting up with this crap ever since you people kidnapped me!"

"And that blonde-haired bimbo dresses like gutter trash," Org Roxas added.

"Okay, that does it!" Naminé quickly responded. Without thinking, she subconsciously tightened her grip on the Keyblade using Kairi's fingers. "He's SO getting a Mind Crush."

"But I thought you said..." Kairi began.

"I meant I'm going to crush that thick-headed mind of his with this Keyblade," Naminé clarified. She was so focused on her opponent that she failed to notice Axel aiming a chakram at Kairi's red-headed skull.

Sora swiped at the projectile in a desperate attempt to deflect it, but he reacted too late. As his Keyblade passed through the space where the chakram used to be, he whipped his head toward Kairi and began to cry out a warning. "KAI-" Unfortunately, Axel spun with the momentum and slammed his other chakram into Sora's stomach, sending him crashing to his knees.

Hearing Sora's grunt of pain, Kairi took her eyes off of Org Roxas, giving her opponent the opportunity to lunge at her. Her eyes went wide as Axel's weapon flew straight and true toward her battle weary face.

The projectile was just inches from its target when all of a sudden, the chakram was intercepted by none other than Wakka's Blitzball. The impact caused Axel's weapon to deflect into Org Roxas' path, knocking Oathkeeper out of his hand. Kairi whirled back around at him and swung her Keyblade in an upward arc, slamming her blade upside Org Roxas' chin. She finished up her combo with a spinning back kick into the solar plexus, sending her opponent flying.

The reappearance of Wakka's smiling form gave Sora a chance to knock Axel back a few yards and regroup with his friends. Wakka's body twirled in a mesmerizing spinning motion as his hand effortlessly palmed his ball back from the rebound. As he glided to a stop like a figure skater from a triple axle, the Blitzball player grinned. "Back in the game, ya?"

"Is Pence okay?" Kairi asked.

Wakka gave her a quick nod. "He'll survive, but he's not going to be fighting again anytime soon." As Axel and the Org's Roxas recovered from their attacks, Wakka's eyes narrowed in concentration. "Been meaning to use this move for awhile." With that said, he began to spin his body on the spot. Wakka spun around faster and faster until he was nothing more than a blurring top of motion kicking up dust. An endless stream of Blitzballs began flying from this human tornado, bombarding both Axel and Roxas in a merciless onslaught.

Sensing that they needed some space to recover, Axel grabbed Org Roxas, leapt backward and disappeared through a portal of fire.

"Where'd they go?" Sora said, ruffling his bushy hair in confusion. Sora and Kairi looked around in slight bewilderment when they realized that the two Org members had only teleported to the other end of the battlefield to give them a chance to recover from Wakka's Overdrive.

"How exactly did they do that?" Kairi wondered. "If they could've portaled away like that, why didn't they just teleport out of this area?"

"My guess is either they can't or they won't," Naminé replied. "Other than Roxas' double, there seems to be something weird about Axel other than the memory shift..."

After a few more seconds, Wakka's body finally slowed to a stop. As the dust cleared, he was seen tossing the ball to himself with one hand.

Sora blinked. "Where did all those Blitzballs come from?" he asked with an air of curiosity.

"How do you hide a giant metal door utensil in your pants?" Wakka responded.

"Touché."

* * *

"I miss Patrick," Demyx said gloomily, his voice cracking. "The tummy rubs, our nightly Skittles runs, the Pokémon marathons..." He blew his nose into his sleeve. "I miss my pet Heartless!"

Larxene rolled her eyes. "You're still crying about that? For the last time, he shouldn't have been playing in the hamper while I was doing laundry!" The Melodious Nocturne threw his arms around her and began sobbing. Larxene's body tensed up and said in a steely tone through her teeth, "If you're not off me in five seconds, I'll dice you into little, bite-sized pieces and feed your remains to the Heartless." She gave him an insincere smile. "Then you could make many Heartless happy all at once."

"You'd do that..." Demyx sniffed naively, "...for me?" Larxene shoved Demyx off of her with disgust.

"Do you two need a room?" Yuffie asked. "Because we could always come back and kick your butts later." Although it had been awhile since they had fought together, Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith had decided to team up against Larxene and a reluctant Demyx.

"You know, now that I think about it, some of these guys sound awfully familiar. Take that redhead for example..." Aerith motioned towards Axel who had just diverted the flames of Pence's flamethrower. "Is it just me or does he sound like Reno?" Yuffie waved her hand dismissively at the remark.

"Nah. All red-headed guys sound like that." Yuffie tapped her chin thoughtfully. "But this blonde-haired chick could pass off as a spokesperson for a burger joint."

Larxene let out an impatient sigh. "Typical. I get paired up with all the women."

"But I'm here!" Demyx pouted.

"I stand by my statement." She crossed her arms in front of her chest in an X-shape. The kunai sparked menacingly between her fingers. "The only thing I hate more than whiny, teenage brats are giant-chested prostitutes that think they're better than everyone else!"

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with having small, perky-" Aerith wrinkled her nose. "Why am I talking about this?"

In a flash of lightning, Larxene disappeared from her spot. Next moment, Larxene clones swarmed the fighters in typical berserk fashion. It was a jumble of chaos as electricity ripped through the sky. Larxene afterimages bombarded the girls from almost every side.

Demyx only stood there holding his sitar tightly.

"Maybe if I stand really still, I don't have to get involved," he reasoned.

There were so many targets dashing about that it was hard to focus on any one Larxene. Tifa smashed her fist into a Larxene's chest, ducked underneath a swipe from behind, and whirled around with a spin kick only to be countered with a kick of Larxene's own resulting in a stalemate.

"You're a martial artist too, huh?" Tifa observed. Larxene lashed her arm out, backslashing her kunai across Tifa's voluptuous chest.

"Shut up and die already!" Larxene snapped. "You know how annoying it is to be the only registered female in an all-male group?" Tifa interrupted her rant with a boot to the head. Undaunted, a Larxene that was fighting Yuffie continued as if nothing happened. "Always having to deal with all the testosterone, everyone stealing your bras so your chest has no support, all the complaining after you threaten to make salsa dip in their carved out carcass whenever they poke your chest to check you're not a guy..."

"Yeah, well I got news for you, blondie." Yuffie stabbed Larxene in the gut with her giant shuriken, causing the clone to disintegrate back into nothingness. "There are no women in the Organization. Just girly-looking men." Yuffie glanced over at Tifa and winked. "Let's see...multiple enemies that look exactly alike grouped together and disappear in a flash of light after they take a certain amount of damage."

"Just like old times, huh?" Aerith chimed in, swiping her staff at another Larxene.

"I don't know. It feels like that Dead Fantasy about me," Tifa muttered. She began concentrating her power into her fist.

"When did you die?" Yuffie asked. Tifa's fist exploded with energy as she unleashed Final Heaven on a couple of targets. She gave a sideways glance.

"Don't ask."

"Wasn't it Aerith who died?" Annoyed slightly, Aerith pounded her staff into the earth.

"For the last time, it was my twin sister, Aeris!" She was starting to feel frustrated that her attacks kept missing their mark. Unlike Tifa and Yuffie, she wasn't much of a front-line fighter. It was by sheer luck that Larxene's defense-piercing attacks barely missed the neck straps that kept her top up.

Tifa suddenly sneezed and glanced around. Her eyes focused onto Jack Sparrow who looked to be having a private conversation with Sora's Heartless form. It made her feel slightly disconcerted that they seemed to be talking about her.

"What's that pirate doing?" The rumors of his lady-playing, pervy-romantic tendencies crept suspiciously into her mind. "He wouldn't..."

Larxene turned her glare toward Demyx, who decided to stay back all this time and out of the combat zone. "Are you going to stare at these big-breasted bimbos all day or are you going to actually fight?!"

"Are you crazy?!" Demyx whimpered. "It was one thing fighting against Roxas! And I could handle fighting Kairi..." He took a couple of steps back. "But fighting against Amazon she-males is out of the question!"

In a flash of light, one of the Larxenes appeared in front of Demyx, grabbed him by the collar and held her kunai under his nose threateningly.

"If you don't get out there and help me, you're going to find yourself suddenly bald." Demyx shrieked in horror.

"You wouldn't!" But her icy glare said it all. Demyx let out a defeated sigh. "Oh, alright." Satisfied she got through to him, Larxene let go of Demyx and disappeared in a flash of light. He double-checked his sitar's strings and began strumming. With each note that played, water clones materialized out of the molecules hanging in the air. "Dance, water, dance!"

Tifa, Aerith and Yuffie backed into each other, completely surrounded by vast numbers of Demyx and Larxene clones. They were cut off from any outside help since everyone else was occupied with their own personal battles. To an observer, this scenario would look oddly familiar...

"Anyone have any ideas?" Tifa asked. "Or at least some Materia?" Aerith's eyes lit up. She turned to Yuffie.

"Do you still have that Materia you stole from Cid earlier?" The ninja girl's cheeks began to burn as brightly as Axel's hair.

"I didn't steal it!" Yuffie lied awkwardly. "I just...held onto it for a moment just like this." Aerith held out her hand and waited patiently. With a guilty look, Yuffie plunged her free hand into her outfit and rummaged around for a few seconds before pulling out a shiny, red crystal orb. Tifa gasped.

"You had a Summon Materia all this time?" Tifa couldn't help but be amazed that a relic of their past would be their salvation in their time of need. "Which one is it? Knights of the Round? Bahamut?" Aerith shook her head.

"I think Cid lost those ones years ago. This is the only Summon he had left." Grasping the Materia between her palms, Aerith closed her eyes and concentrated her inner power to unleash their trump card. "I summon the Deathblow of divine justice! Come to me...Chocobo!" Tifa and Yuffie blankly stared at her.

"What are you doing?" Tifa asked.

"What? I thought this situation called for an incantation or something." Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Right. Next you're going to be dancing with your staff to send the dead away."

"I think you're mistaking me for some other brunette in a frilly dress. Now hush, I'm trying to concentrate." Energy seemed to ripple off of Aerith in waves as the red orb in her hand pulsated with light.

Tifa kept a weary eye on the mass of enemies around them. To her it looked like a moving pile of life-sized living water balloons peppered with the occasional black-cloaked blonde chick.

"I'm surprised that they're not attacking us yet." It was slightly unnerving to have so many enemies that could easily gang rape the girls, but all the water clones did was swish whimsically on the spot.

The Larxene that was closest to Demyx growled in frustration. "Will you get your damn clones out of the way?! You know what water does to me!" Indeed, the Larxenes were pulling their limbs closer to their bodies, desperately trying not to pop a single water clone. The Melodious Nocturne couldn't help but sigh.

Without taking his eyes off his sitar, Demyx said, "First you're telling me to fight and now you're telling me not to?" He chuckled lightly. "I don't know Larxene. You could always use a shower every now and then." Larxene could only stare daggers at him, knowing full well that using any lightning attacks would cause a water popping chain reaction that'd be hazardous to everyone in the vicinity. It wouldn't have been a problem for a fearless woman like Larxene, but she knew the difference between causing pain on others and inflicting pain on herself.

"When I get my hands on you," Larxene began, "I'm gonna-"

"SQUAWK!"

"What was that?"

"Kupo!" A headband-wearing, Moogle-ridden Chocobo appeared out of nowhere and began bowling through the hoards of clones with no care for its own personal safety. If it wasn't chaotic before, the hundreds of Demyx clones exploding would cause anyone to panic...

If you're vulnerable to water, that is.

Gallons of water gushed everywhere, soaking everyone in the vicinity. A symphony of screams pierced through the air as all but the original Larxene shorted out into electrical ions and Tifa learned the importance of why it's not a good idea to wear all leather clothing.

"You know..." Tifa squeezed some water out of her top, annoyance etched all over her face. "If I didn't know any better I'd think that you only control water to make girls feel soaking wet."

Demyx's gloved fingers ended his solo abruptly on a sour note and glanced up from his playing. He flinched at the sight of the dripping wet Chocobo staring curiously at him with its beak inches from his face. The repulsive smell of wet bird feathers filling his nostrils, Demyx let out a tiny girlish shriek and instinctively swung his sitar at the overgrown canary. The bird quickly ducked its neck, causing the Moogle on its back to take the hit instead. The poor creature was sent flying straight into Larxene, her soaked antennae drooping like limp noodles. It landed softly into her chest with a soft floomph.

Larxene's eyes flashed with extreme anger and annoyance at being personally violated. With extreme prejudice, she punted the tiny Moogle above everyone's heads and over the edge of a cliff. The Chocobo's head snapped up, forgot completely about Demyx and chased after its former passenger. And without another sound, it leaped over the edge as well.

Aerith narrowed her eyes at Larxene.

"Okay, that was just cruel and uncalled for." The Nymph tilted her head to one side.

"They were ticking me off," she huffed. Although she was still damp and powerless, it didn't make her any less dangerous. "But since you're the one who summoned them in the first place, that makes you responsible."

Before Aerith knew it, Larxene had covered the gap between them and started attacking wildly again as if the past few minutes had never happened. Demyx decided that it would be a bad idea to get any more involved than he already was and took a couple strides back.

"Larxy can handle this," he said to himself. But Yuffie spotted Demyx and began moving toward him.

"No backseat fighting!" she yelled. Leaving him with no choice but to fight, Demyx began strumming his sitar again. With each chord, pillars of water erupted from the ground, homing in on the Materia hunter's position.

"I'm not backseat fighting!" Demyx retorted. To prove his point, he summoned a geyser to propel him into the air and began riding across the field on his water pillars. Yuffie charged with unflinching determination, her weapon at the ready. Before Demyx could even cover 20 feet, Yuffie sliced through all of the water pillars in one smooth swipe, forcing him to the ground with a giant crash. "Ow!" He looked toward Larxene with a pleading look on his face.

Of course, Larxene couldn't care less about what was happening to her "partner." Even through the berserk fighting style she was currently implementing, she was clear-headed enough to know to aim for any weak points in her opponents. In this case, the combatant who wasn't physically strong enough.

Aerith swiped and rotated her staff as quickly as she could manage, but the constant speed of her opponent was proving it almost impossible to counter-attack. Tifa ran in to help her friend from being completely overwhelmed, but Larxene was ready for her.

Although it was a two-on-one fight, Larxene fought with the same intensity and stubbornness that her clones did. She constantly flitted back and forth between Tifa and Aerith. A punch here, a spin kick there...

It didn't occur to the women that there was a reason for Larxene's overcompensated movements. They found out the hard way when her kunai began to spark faintly at first. But the spark became more definable and stronger until finally Larxene managed to slash Aerith's bare shoulder with her kunai. The flower enthusiast was surprised to find that not only was she bleeding, but her skin was slightly burnt as well.

"I should thank you for helping me dry off," Larxene chuckled. "But that would mean that I actually respect you." Tifa took another swing at her, but with Larxene's element restored, her attack hit nothing but air. The Nymph suddenly appeared behind Tifa and scored a powerful kick into the center of the poor girl's spine.

As Tifa clenched at her back and attempted to will the pain away, Larxene turned her attention back to Aerith. "You know what I like most about your weapon?" With a toothy grin that would've competed with the Cheshire Cat's, she snapped her fingers. A bolt of lightning ripped through the sky and struck Aerith's staff. "It makes a great lightning rod." Aerith couldn't help but let out screams of agony as painful electricity rushed through her body. The sight of seeing her enemies suffer by her hand instantly put Larxene in a good mood and she let out squeals of delight as Aerith collapsed to her knees.

"Aerith!" Yuffie abandoned the pouting Demyx and rushed over in an attempt to save her friends. Her boots padded against the damp earth as she got her shuriken ready. Larxene never turned her head as Yuffie swung her weapon across, only to be slicing through nothing but electrical trails as the Nymph disappeared in a flash of lightning.

Yuffie stayed rooted to the spot, bracing herself for a surprise attack. She looked toward Tifa, who was just starting to get back to her feet.

"Tifa! Are you two okay?"

"Nothing that I haven't felt before," Tifa assured Yuffie. "I don't know about Aerith, though." The martial artist made her way toward the collapsed Aerith, the leather fabric shifting uncomfortably against her body. "Yuffie, I-" She froze. "Look out!" The words barely escaped her lips when a bolt of lightning came rocketing through the sky and blasted Yuffie dead center. Sparks of electricity tore through her entire body and the ninja girl spasmed sporadically before she collapsed to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

Familiar sadistic laughter tinkled through the air as Larxene reappeared, landing next to Yuffie's head. She crouched down and giggled as she stared down at her fallen opponent. "That's what you get for playing in my element, hentai girl." She caressed a kunai against Yuffie's cheek. "I'd almost feel bad if I weren't known as a sadistic, beautiful, sensuous..."

Yuffie's eyes snapped open. "And to think I'm supposed to be the immature one." Taking advantage of Larxene's astonishment, Yuffie spun her back against the dirt and whirlwind-kicked the blonde across the jaw. Larxene staggered back trying to recover from her shock. To her surprise, Yuffie was able to flip back to her feet and stand without a single burn on her body.

"What?! That's not poss-" She stopped in mid-sentence as Yuffie held up her wrist, showing off a jewel-encrusted bangle.

"Elemental and Lightning Materia. I don't even feel it." Larxene's eyes sparked dangerously as she realized that the elemental power that she relied on so much wasn't going to be enough to take down the Materia Hunter.

"You're REALLY getting on my nerves!" She crossed her arms and summoned two clones on each side of her, bringing the total of opponents up to six...

...if Demyx hadn't decided to sneak away through the confusion.

"Forget this! I'm going to go see if Zexy needs help!" Before Larxene could stop him, he summoned a water pillar and surfed his way out of range. Knowing a lost cause, she gave up on her reluctant partner and decided to finish the job herself.

"Fine then! I don't need anyone else anyway!" Each Larxene had a menacing grin plastered on their face. "This just means I get to kill you the old-fashioned way!" Yuffie glanced over at her friends.

"Tifa?" She was relieved when Tifa gave her a thumbs-up.

"She's unconscious, but alive." The black-leathered brunette took up Aerith's body and set it aside. Taking a stand next to Yuffie, she raised her semi-clenched fists and got into her battle stance.

Yuffie sighed. "So much for this fight being easy."

Lights, Camera...

"And that concludes the Evening Gown portion of our program! Our judges will now determine which of these lovely ladies will move on to the next round as the group is reduced down to the top ten! Again, let's have another round of applause for these dazzling beauties!"

Sora was about to let out a sigh of relief, but Naminé knew better than to let their guard down. "They're still watching us, Sora! Wait until we're off-stage first!" The past fifteen minutes had been a blur of motion as the girls had been ushered back to the stage, quickly reintroduced to the crowd and the judges, went through all their posing and smiling like anime fanservice before walking back to their original position and allowing the next contestant to take a turn.

"What's that noise?" Sora pondered as the sound of metal hitting metal started becoming more loud and frequent. He glanced around at the other contestants and noticed that he wasn't the only one who had heard it. Some of the girls were looking around in confusion.

"Sora! Above you!" Sora's head snapped up to the ceiling. His pupils contracted slightly at the sight of giant metal planks began raining from the rafters. Shrieks of terror erupted from the stage, causing the audience to panic as well. Without even pausing to ask permission, Naminé quickly took control of Kairi's body and started to summon Sora's Keyblade...

"No!" Sora shouted internally. "If people see Kairi summon the Keyblade, they'll know something's up!"

"But..." Naminé started, but she knew that Sora was right. Sora instinctively threw himself forward and tackled the nearest contestant to protect. He braced for impact...

...and felt nothing. Sora aimed his gaze upward and was stunned to find that the metal planks were stopped in midair by a dome of green energy. The planks slid down off the curvature safely out of harm's way. As soon as the last piece of debris touched down, the mysterious barrier disappeared as quickly as it came. Sora let out a sigh of relief.

"You can let go of me now." Sora did a double take and realized that the girl that he had just attempted to save was none other than Natalia. Kairi's body leapt back as if she had burned herself. The blond girl brushed off her outfit and gave Sora a quizzical look. "I don't know what you're playing at, but this doesn't change anything!" And with a suspicious purple twinkle in her angry gaze, Natalia walked off in a huff. With an unconcerned shrug, Sora turned his attention back to business.

"How in Merlin's pants did that happen?!" With everyone still shook up, no one noticed the contestant known as Kairi talking to herself.

"Merlin wears pants?" Naminé giggled. "That's news to me."

"Especially that green barrier. I've never seen anything like that before." Sora looked out toward the restless audience and tried to find his friends. "Maybe Kairi and the others noticed something..." But Naminé couldn't help but remember the purplish tint that she had noticed. "What's wrong, Naminé?" Sora asked. The memory witch temporarily forgot that Sora could sense her emotions, but not her exact thoughts. Apparently, the gender-swapped youth had noticed nothing suspicious. Naminé was about to tell Sora what she saw but stopped herself. She could've just been imagining things. Sora had enough to worry about.

"Nothing, Sora," she finally responded. "I guess I'm just a little..." Her voice trailed off. Before Sora could dwell on her acting suspicious, the announcer's voice began booming out.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the pageant will continue after taking a brief intermission! Please rest assured that everyone is safe and unharmed!" Before Sora knew what was happening, the stage curtains began to quickly close, blocking his view. As soon as the curtains draped themselves closed, the girls were immediately rushed backstage to their dressing rooms.

"The contestants that qualify for the next round will be notified via loudspeaker!" the director shouted. "In the meantime, everyone return to your dressing rooms while we prepare the stage for the next event!" When the girls continued to mutter, the director added, "We will take every precaution to make sure nothing of this sort will happen again! Thank you for your cooperation!"

"What's the next event?" Sora asked as he headed back to Kairi's dressing room. Naminé pretended not to hear. "I take it by your silence it's the swimsuit competition."

"I think we're being followed," Naminé said suddenly. Sora slowed his pace.

"Are you sure?" He glanced over his shoulder finding the hallway mysteriously empty. The usual din of the hustle and bustle could be heard faintly.

"Listen to your footsteps." Sora strained his ears and was shocked to hear an echo of his own footsteps as if someone were shadowing him. "Sora, be careful." Kairi's hand instinctively clenched as Sora prepared to defend himself. He counted silently in his head.

One...

Two...

At three, Sora whirled around, halfway into summoning his Keyblade.

The last thing the teenage boy saw was a flash of purple before the entire world plunged him into darkness...

* * *

No one had noticed that the hat-wearing judge in the sunglasses had managed to conjure up the giant lime-colored dome made of plasma that shielded the contestants from the debris. Duke quietly cracked his knuckles under the judge's table, his hands sparking dimly.

"If this keeps up," he said as he shook his hands loosely, "I'm going to get early arthritis."

Michael crossed his arms and gave his friend an envious glare. "Easy for you to say. My powers don't work here."

"Other than that anime invincibility you get when any fanservice occurs," Rachel chirped half-jokingly.

"Can you guys save it for later? We still have a job to do," Rebecca reminded them. "Right now we have to figu-"

"We have to figure out who'd sabotage the contest like this," Michael interrupted. "It's not possible that was an accident." He began to stand up out of his seat. "I'm going to go and search for clues. Rachel, you-"

"Wait a minute!" Rachel snapped. She had never liked being one to sit around and wait. "Why do you get to go?" Her eyes narrowed into an accusatory glare. "You're not thinking of going backstage and searching all of the girls' dressing rooms, are you?" Her hands balled into fists. "If you think for a moment that I'm giving you any more opportunities to strip a poor, innocent girl..."

"If he won't do it, I don't mind taking his place," Duke said with a sly grin on his face. Rachel shook her head impatiently.

"No way! You're just as bad as he is!" Before Rachel's temper could spark any more arguments, Rebecca slammed her fist on the judge's table, silencing her friends.

"Will you let me finish? I wasn't talking about that!" She held up her judge's scoring sheet. After clearing her throat, she said, "We have to figure out who's going onto the next round." She raised an eyebrow. "What'd you think about that Kairi girl?"

* * *

"Oh my goodness!" Kairi couldn't help but gasp using Sora's hands to cover his mouth. "That was too close." Her friends were taken back by her reaction.

"Please don't do that in Sora's body," Wakka said, cringing. "It makes him look really..."

"******ed?" Kairi suggested.

"Well, I was going to say sissy, but sure. Let's go with that."

"If Sora had gotten crushed..." Kairi couldn't help but shudder from the possibility. "Would I even have a body to go back to?" Roxas couldn't help but laugh.

"Your body's been raped by Heartless, turned into a playing card, survived countless worlds being blown up and dived off a three-story balcony and landed on its feet without so much as a sprained ankle. I think Sora will manage just fine." Kairi smiled, but something else was bothering her.

"Where are Donald and Goofy?" Olette nodded toward the empty seats next to her. "Riku should've gotten them by now." Pence stood up.

"I'll go check on them. I need to use it anyway." Pence clutched at his middle. "Those All-Natural Paopu Fruit Juice drinks don't seem to be agreeing with my stomach." As if to push the point further, his stomach made a loud, gurgling noise that emulated boiling chili. The others cringed.

"Uh, T.M.I.?" Kairi could almost feel her stomach doing somersaults just imagining what was taking place in Pence's innards.

As soon as Pence left, Kairi finally realized what was bothering her.

"Where did Hayner and Tidus go?" she wondered out loud. It took a few seconds before Olette and Wakka realized the same thing.

Olette sighed. "I think I can take a guess..." Kairi pursed her lips and jumped up from her seat.

She grabbed Olette's arm and began dragging her through their row. Kairi glanced over her shoulder and said to Wakka, "Watch our seats, please. We'll be right back." And before the Blitzball MVP could protest, the girls were gone.

Wakka took one look at the eight empty seats he had to guard and groaned. "Isn't Tidus usually the one who gets himself into these situations?"

* * *

"Come on, Tidus. You really expect all of the girls to be sharing one dressing room?"

"You ever see those Miss World pageants? The girls all share a big locker room where they get changed in front of each other!" Tidus' eyes glazed over as the thought of semi-nude girls pranced around in his head. Hayner chuckled at his "partner's" dream-like expression.

"You know, I envy you sometimes," Hayner said.

"Huh?" Tidus' expression changed from fantasizing to confusion. Hayner stopped in his tracks with Tidus doing the same.

"I never would've imagined that there would be a place that seems like pure paradise." Hayner smiled sadly. "I mean, when the others and I first came here to the Islands, I'll admit I thought this place looked kinda..."

"The boonies?" Tidus suggested.

"Well, yeah," Hayner agreed. "But now, I can't believe how lucky you guys are to live in a place like this! Girls, beaches, blue skies!" He shook his head and gave Tidus a wistful look. "Twilight Town may have its share of tourist attractions, but the sun never rises or sets. It's just endless twilight." Tidus placed his hand on Hayner's shoulder and gave an understanding squeeze.

"Believe me, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. The downside to living on an island is that you have to use a boat to reach any of the interesting places. Monsoon season and floods happen periodically. And don't get me started on the school uniforms..."

"You have to wear uniforms?" Hayner felt internally relieved that he went to a public school.

"The point is that any place outside of your world is fun to visit, but it's not as fun to live in." Tidus gave Hayner a searching look. "I never took you as a sentimentalist, Hayner."

"Hey, I have my own insecurities too." Hayner shrugged. "It's just I can't exactly share this type of stuff in front of Pence or Olette."

"Don't want to tarnish your rep?" Tidus teased. Hayner grinned and gave a playful punch to the arm. Suddenly, a tall figure rushed past the duo at superhuman speed before disappearing around a corner, giving the guys a quick glimpse of a streak of silver.

"Hey, didn't that chick look familiar?" Tidus lamented. It took a few seconds before the boys realized that only one person would have such unforgettable shiny locks.

"That's Riku!" they shouted in unison. Unfortunately, their outburst caught the attention of the guard with a purple tattoo on his neck who had been in close pursuit. The sight of the two boys made him forget all about the intruder and switch his focus onto them.

"Hey, you kids aren't supposed to be here!" He began running toward them, reaching for his communicator.

"Oh crap," Hayner said. Not knowing what else to do, the would-be peeping toms made a break for it in the other direction with the guard hot on their tail, calling for backup. If any of them had bothered to look up, they would've found a teenage fugitive with remarkable abs hiding among the rafters.

"What are those two doing here?" Riku wondered from his perch. "I guess this stealth and recon is now a rescue mission." He started to make his way through the shadows of the ceiling. "Who do I look like, Raiden from Metal Gear?"

* * *

"What the..." Pence couldn't help but frown as he realized that he had stepped in a growing puddle of water that trailed all the way to the men's restroom. Being very careful to step slowly and lightly as not to get the inside of his sneakers wet, he made his way to the restroom door, pushed it open...

...and ended up catching the handle of a plunger with his face. His eyes rolled back in their sockets as he collapsed into the pool of toilet water in an unconscious heap.

Goofy and Donald exchanged worried looks. "Uh-oh." One could only imagine what a stranger's reaction would be to see a duck with his butt lodged in a toilet bowl with the suction cup of a plunger stuck to his head. In classic comical fashion, Goofy had managed to crawl underneath the locked stall door, accidentally bust it off its hinges, grab a plunger, shove it onto Donald's head and made a futile attempt to yank his friend out of the toilet only for the handle to fly off, ricochet off the tiled walls and smack into Pence's poor, unsuspecting face.

"G'well, at least it can't get any worse," Goofy declared with a confident nod. Before the last word even left his mouth, a dark yellow liquid began to overflow from the other bathroom stalls and urinals only to swirl in with the already exposed toilet water. As the disgusting mixture reached the unconscious Pence, Donald couldn't help but palm his beak in disbelief.

You and me both, dude. You and me both. :p

Old enough to get into a university and wait for the fall semester where I can live in their on-campus housing so I can basically abuse their precious academic resources like any good student should. :p

Yup. It's a definite sign that pigs will start to fly and hell will freeze over when there's a video with your name on it appearing in related videos. :sly:

And no. I'm not dead. I'm just waiting until I actually have unlimited internet again. :3

Since I'll be out for the summer, whoever still has lines or audition files can still upload them to Mediafire and PM me the links and I'll download them as soon as I can.

Other than that, nothing new to report.

As long as I'm not X. :p

He's actually doing research for "Spam Wars." And he's given you the honor of having the Castle as a strategic plot point in the entire fabric of events. :p

*goes back to studying for finals*