Search Results

I don't know... but thank you both for your responses. I have no strong desire to be with anyone sexually, in a romantic nature or otherwise, but do want to feel connected to people. I'm looking to be able to have that deep communication with someone where sex does not play a part.

But I do wonder, why is sex placed at such a high premium in romance? Consummation? Reciprocation? Trust? Now I'm imagining that it can go both ways: The person who allows their partner to have sex with them because he/she understands their partner's needs, and the person who leans off sex because they understand that their partner does not have a desire to do it. It would all seem much more easier if it was all mutual. The bottom line is I don't know if sex is important, or even honest. The only scenario I can imagine myself having sex with someone I'm close to is if we both agreed that it's just sex. I don't know if I can be compelled through emotion alone to do it.

But then again, I've never been in love.

I didn't mention this in my previous post, but I'm still in contact with that person I met the other day. We chat online but he has toned down the sex, which I am quite happy about. He is still has the many of the qualities of a person I try to avoid, but he is still interesting to talk to.

There is indeed a pressure for people to pair up, not just societal, but in our bodies too. Sexual attraction, that guiding force that supposedly provides us with an end and thus gives our lives meaning. There's also loneliness. How many individuals from couples would have approached one another if there was no sex involved? I too feel that to have a relationship start with sex and end up being about sex, is superficial. Though falling in love with someone you're not sexually attracted to is not something I think many people can imagine.

I was approached the other day, as a target of a booty call. One of the first questions asked of me by him was if I was into men. I told him, "Yes. Not joking." I did not lie. He then proceeded to hit on me, and after I gave him a definite "No," as my answer to the offered sex, we finally started to have a conversation. This person I met I did find interesting, but he never did stop trying to get me away somewhere. In our conversation I asked if I had answered "No," to the question about me being interested in men if he would have even continued talking to me; he told me he would have not. Imagine my shame. I did not "connect" with this person like in something I can easily imagine in my fantasies, but it did provide me with an experience that will now forever make me wary of the superficiality of our ambitions when it comes to sex and romance. Why have someone have sex with you when more truth can be found about someone in other ways?

I realize I'm on the subject of love instead of sexual preferences. I've never been in love, and I'm not sure I believe in love (An old movie cliché, I know.), but I know sex is not love, and sex is not, strictly speaking, required.

Writing this up, I'm reminded of a film I've seen, Lost in Translation, a romance film that's about a relationship and not about sex. A film with real feelings and real emotions, with events that play out naturally, instead of how we would expect. I now realize this is my favorite romance film, or perhaps my favorite film. My only hope in life is to have encounters or relationships (Not necessarily romantic.) as true and real as this.

I am fully aware that my attraction to people of the same gender is the result of a base instinct. Platonic relationships somehow seem purer than ones that are not. Sorry that I've gone on like this, but your post about your asexuality made me think about my own sexuality and relationships.

Look at the dates for the rest of the series. Looks like they'll be re-releasing each of them to theaters for a single day.
If you click the link for the year you will see Battle Angel, with a $200,000,000 budget, Star Wars: Episode VIII, and Robocops.

With Google pushing Web apps, Google's trying to make the OS you run underneath hardly matter. Hence Chrome OS, with its speedy boot times which never slows down. Apple discontinued support for PowerPC applications in 2011; basically killing any legacy software that's more than 5 years old. It forced vendors to update their software for them to continue to work on updated Macs. The selling point for Windows is, "All your apps simply work," and not, "It's lightweight and fast." Microsoft's refusal to start fresh reminds me of Web developers that still make sure their code works in Internet Explorer 6.

I learned about it from the message his wife left on his blog that I subscribe to. A couple days ago he posted about how his health wasn't too good; it's still an unexpected shock. I always try to look up Roger Ebert's review of a movie after I had seen it. Not to see if he approved it -- I agree with him 99% of the time anyways -- but for his thoughts. Many of the times they reflect my own, but many of the times they also bring out insights about a movie I hadn't noticed. Reading his reviews enhanced my viewing experience just as talking about a movie afterward with friends would. Through his reviews he introduced me into the world of good cinema and helped shaped the way I view them, and art in general. I loved Roger Ebert and will continue to do so as long as I can "go to the movies."

Today I have decided to become either a writer or a filmmaker. Before I always thought I would become a computer programmer or engineer, things I know I'd be good at, where everything makes logical sense, safe. Though I think these professions are admirable, for me, entering into the world of art is much more scary, much less predictable, and much more challenging.

I haven't seen many of Roger's video reviews, but I did love the one where he talks about Magnolia. I've seen that TED Talk and yes, it was truly inspiring.

EDIT: A link I happened to come across about Roger Ebert today. A nice read.

I go around feeding on people. I'm able to get a few bites off here and there. It's so hard being so slow. Wait, I have an idea, I'll lay down still for a while. Someone's coming. They're getting closer... LUNGE. YES. A kill. Victorrrrry! It's good that there's plenty of dead bodies around to act as red herrings. I could do this all night.

Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles. I picked being a zombie because everyone imagines they'll be alive when the apocalypse comes.

I'm sitting at a table. I call. I raise. I fold. I buy drinks for other players. They buy drinks for me. But it's all to coax me into not feeling bad about them taking my money. I get spammed about buying chips with real life money. I get harassed when I win. I get harassed when I lose. Women get harassed and are bought expensive drinks if they're anywhere near attractive. The dealer accepts tips and pretends she's nice but is essentially a gold sink. Everyone is looking to take my money.

Zynga Poker.

Get a boombox.

...

I have no funny stories, only painful and shameful ones...

My idea of a relaxing time is not staying at home, but without telling anyone, stay at a Las Vegas luxury hotel suite by myself, watching pay-per-view movies and reading books, all while laying on the bed all day and night. I'd take a hot bath using up all those tiny shampoo bottles and soaps. I'd wear only my underwear and maybe try to get drunk on whatever's in the mini-bar, because no one is there to judge. The only human interaction that would take place would be calling down for room service, which from I'll only order pasta and ice cream. I pay no mind to the cost of my stay because I pretend it's the last day on earth.

An alternative would to be to go swimming and sunbathing with a few strangers at a private beach on a small island. We'd explore nearby surrounding islands using a motorboat, and at night, light a bonfire. Then light floating lanterns into the sky. After, we'd retire to a solitary stilt house, watch a movie on a portable DVD player, and sleep on mats or in sleeping bags. We'd wake up in the morning and each go our separate ways.

Extinguish

At least you didn't think it was your mind that was dying. Try to imagine how mindf*cked I was when I typed "do a barrel roll" into Google Search without anyone telling me to do so beforehand.

I hope no one thinks they've become dyslexic.

If anyone is having a problem with this change, it will only last a day (I hope), otherwise you can add a custom user stylesheet to disable it if you can't wait.

Add or edit a user stylesheet to include the following:

Code:

* {
 -o-transform: none !important;
 -moz-transform: none !important;
 -ms-transform: none !important;
 -webkit-transform: none !important;
}

Tip taken from: http://dev.webonomic.nl/how-to-disable-css-transforms-transistions-and-animations

I'm using this now. The location of the text file that needs to be edited to apply this varies depending on operating system and browser. Here's a link that might help: http://brugbart.com/Articles/custom-style-sheets

Now it looks like my avatar has people having sex in it.

The Dark Knight Rises Winter's Bone. Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night.

There Will Be Blood.

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You.