Catch the Rain

Sure. xD

Gah, at least you're home now, right? D:

Yea that never works at all. We even went to therapay. And they said all these things, but its like it never happened.
Most of it is my older sis, my mom, and her mother. They treat my sis like a god the rules alter for her. Its so serious my mom, and gramother are in la la land. So clueless about how they treat her compared to everyone else.

Well basically they stick you in a hole in the ground, stay there for a little bit and see if you can handle it.

Thank you. <3

Oh, perhaps you misunderstand. I still get the adrenaline, but none of the fear. I actually enjoy the adrenaline, and it does make me more effective, but I am not afraid. You could say that I look for fear if that is the case. Fear, as I define it, is any kind of negative feeling about a future event. Worry falls under that.

I worry that, in the future, what might seem good to me at the time might seem bad soon after. Like killing someone. I can see it happening under several circumstances.

Mmm... I have had relatives die, and many pets. I make a practice of thinking about my life as a dream, so, if even my best friend dies, we had good times together, and that's alright. Time has to go on. No need to pity the dead. It would different if it were murder, but that would still have little to do with their death and more with the act of the murderer. I guess that I have a way of easily accepting the things that would otherwise crush me as a defense mechanism.

Mmm... Here is the list. I am not sure about the times, but they should be in order from way back them to now.

*GaiaOnline - http://gaiaonline.com/ - phpBB; banned for trolling, among other things, on two or three separate accounts
**87 - InvisionFree; banned by Bobby for extrapolating my powers to admin
*Bittersweet - http://z8.invisionfree.com/Bittersweet/ - InvisionFree; banned for both extrapolating my powers and deleting the forum
*OYAN Forums - http://oneyearnovel.com/forum/ - Simple Machines Forums; banned for condescension
*Inheritence Forums - http://inheritenceforums.com/ - Invision Power Board; banned for insulting an admin
*Anime Apocalypse - http://jazzmess.com/forum/ - phpBB; banned for being an *******
*The CARA - http://z7.invisionfree.com/the_cara/ - InvisionFree; member for at least one if not two years with over 650 posts; banned for spamming a thread with bump images and then sage images after having it nominated for saging; an overall epic run that I do not regret but wish had resulted in fame instead of my being given the electric chair

Yeah... and if there is someone in a wheelchair its just someone at the hospital who is either never given a name or only has a few lines. Never really thought about it until now. xD

Exactly. :B Also if I remember correctly you like The Cure? I downloaded this album full of covers of their songs, mostly because of this one:

Kaki King has other really interesting stuff, so if you like it defs check her out. ;D She is an amazing guitar player.

That's fine, sometimes the best songs are the simple ones. <3 I do the same thing with my blog, haha. I have so many entries from middle school where I'm like complaining about my mom and stuff and I'm like "was I really this whiny? .___." I always want to delete them but that was who I was, I guess. I can't just pretend it never happened. And most definitely, I know I would not be anywhere near how I am if it hadn't been for some of the things I went through to get here.

Uuugh I procrastinate a lot too. I have like two weeks worth of US History homework to do. xD Luckily my teacher doesn't care so long as we have it in by the end of the quarter... though that's probably why I procrastinate so much, heh.
And I have honestly only been to one concert! In I think 2006 (oh god, that long ago?) I went to see Rise Against, Circa Survive, and Thursday. I missed most of Circa Survive though, I only really went for Rise Against, and we left halfway through Thursday's first song--they had this loud siren thing going off and I'm like "yeah let's leave ._." Last year I wanted to see Los Campesinos! + Johnny Foreigner for my birthday but unfortunately where they were playing was 16+. The next date was in Connecticut which isn't that far, but we'd have to like take a ferry and it was just way too expensive. D:

I was much the same. :P
I blame things like Chad Vader and Darths and Droids etc lol (all found on the internet)
I also found this huge rant about how Obi-wan is the true villain of star wars :P

I will be sure to take pics and send it to you once its done :'D Ooo you write too? awsome! and lol wow. It's easy to get distracted with other things I guess XD

And more often it will keep you from doing something and make you less decisive. Worrying is also a form of fear, you know. I do not fear the loss of others, either. If they die, they die. I try not to get attached to any notions of permanence, because permanence does not exist in this world. So, the things that I fear most are my own actions, however little that fear may be. Avoiding a breaching of my own conscience is what I care about most in this world right now.

No. This is over the years. Many years now... Something like five years, give or take a few months.

lol, I can hear my parents watching it downstairs :P
I know the feeling, I can no longer watch it without laughing my head off either. :P

LOL

"Mommy?"
"That's right"
"No you're not..."
*organs and blood everywhere*

Yeah... creepy. I can't think of any other animu characters in wheelchairs though. xD

It is also crippling. It is better to have no sense of fear and still avoid things that come at you for the sake of convenience and generally practicality. It's not really about how I like to live anymore. I just can't bring myself to be afraid of anything. Death is trivial. Pain a little less so, but the end of pain is death, which I do not fear, so there is not much going on there. The one thing that I might fear is doing something that I myself regret.

Seven now that I can remember. I am keeping a log by request from someone else, and it is always a good idea...

Mmm... I ceased to have fears in real life, and so I stopped fearing things in dreams. It makes everything rather easy, really. Stress is more annoying than the concept of fear to me, because it is more real.

Exactly! "I love humans! They are so intriguing. I love them! I love them! I love them! I love them! ... And they should love me back."

Mine are almost never frightening. I enjoy them too much for that... My own dreams fascinate me more than others' do. A narcissistic trait of mine, that.

I am tired. I was banned from another forum today. How lovely...

Good. So, how have you been?

Probably not, to be honest. My dreams are rather strange themselves, unto being surreal, but not as random as others'...

Hello. How are you today, and all of that...

...aright my eye keeps twitching, I'll go to sleep. >:
Goodnight/morning mommy <3

You should get this raincoat then


But it's only 2 AM- *shot*

Oh trust me I do the same, haha. I'm not perfect by any means. xD If someone tells me they listen to, say, My Chemical Romance I cannot help but have a little bit of prejudice against them. But that of course isn't the only band they like (if it is, well, then that's a completely different issue), I'm sure we could find some sort of common ground.

Ahhh Death Cab. I love love love The Postal Service and I like a few Death Cab songs (I Will Follow You Into the Dark, Lack of Color, The Sound of Settling, the ones that everyone loves) but I just cannot get into the rest of their stuff. It's all so... same-y, even across the different albums I've tried. And yeah, that's definitely cool. I look back to posts from like 2006 and am like "oh god, was I really that much of a nubcaek?" But it's kind of humbling in a way, it reminds me that everyone's a noob at some point. And what you mean about bad memories, well, it's good in a way too... It's okay to have scars, they will make you who you are. /cheesy (also that is one of my favorite song lyrics ever)

It'd have to be something that I just do in my free time just for enjoyment, I don't think I could deal with deadlines or anything like that. Sometimes you need to give an album a few listens until it grows on you--when I first heard a lot of the songs on Los Campesinos!'s newest record I was kind of meh, but it has really grown on me.

I actually don't since I'm allergic. xD
I just know that they're really dangerous, since whenever my friend eats one next to me I get splattered in grapefruit juice >>