NarutoSuperKubii

Hey, man. What's popping?

its fine i actully have to go now ^^ talk to you later and have a good night/afternoon/morning and if its night sweet dreams =) *hugs* and watch your going to forget all about this tomorrow hehe

because i feel like im putting that peron into pressure like thet HAVE to help me no matter if i tell them to forget about me -_-' and then like me i feel like im surrounding them with depression and like me make them depressed -_-

hehe thats the thing though he let one person know =3 i let no one, i am not allowed

i dislike people without guilt -_- but people without guilt are powerless if you are affectless and dont care what they do ^^ and which im very good at makeing people feel guilty...
and yess gateway XP usually when people tell me how bad it is to keep it in i frecken laugh and just say." you have no clue, of the pain" lol lets just say that i may say its ok but the pain people give me it only grows more each day even though i say i dont mind or i forgot all about it and or it never really bothered me =) people dont know how much pain i really am in, even the reall me shows only half the deprssion and half the pain im in and people who knew my old user Dark Shadow knew the real me but they forgot all about me and some even hate me now =)

i feel like im acting like everyone esle only careing about my owen problem and i feel like im giving up on them, and i have REALLY REALLY REALLY bad guilt so i never really like to talk about my problem *shrugs* and in saying that =) that would be the opeing gateway into the real me wich i will not let u see ^^ only the real me speaks of my depresion and problems

i know its not good =) but i feel like im being selfish when i even think about my problem, like i feel selfish right now XP

yeah...lol XD sorry, i told you all this =) i know i know ur going to say ."why?" im going to say " because you had the read all that and it really dosent affect u, plus why would u care ^^ im just a comfused teenage girl on the internet u talk to =)" ur going to say." D= thats not ture." im going to say." thats what everyone says and usually people that say that to me once i helped them with their problem they hate me or forget me" your going to say " well im not like eveyrone else." im going to say." i have been through to much crap to belive that sorry =(" and i know that because u know how much times i had to repeat that conversation -_- *sigh* and when my frineds hear me say i cant bleive that. they just act like i hate them for no reson and that im the bad guy so the "lieing to protect" comes in and i just lie and say but i belive u...XP which even I think is stupied

^^ i put happy stuff like Location: smiling at the rainbows that come after the pouring rain! thats how i use to hide but i guess im like overflowing of deprssion XP but o well, and to tell the truth i havent told anyone so shh, i cry like 2 times a day =( one is when my sister/mom says they wish they werent related to me, and when a friend leaves and forgets me or when i relize no one cares about me, other then that i make sure not to cry and i have never cried infront of someone XP i guess thats where the "huggy mood" comes in, i get so depressed i need warmth XD i only say its when i get all happy but its quiet the oppisite

yeah i have seen people cry...XP you know how hard it is not to cry while watching someone cry hugging u for comfort...=( its really hard but again i will not shed a tear infront of someone to see how weak i am XP lol like i use to act normal on here but then i got to know people on here and then i relized i cant let anyone on here see but i guess i give pretty obivous hints with my signnuture and stuff lol aka i need to try harder to hide

one of my friends have a mother who dose drugs and picks drugs over her so my friend had to live with her grandparents but they kicked her out so she lives with a friend...i have tons of friends with depressing lives...and i rather not...i swor that before i even think of my problems i must help my friends with theirs... -_- sometimes i think im way to nice and somtimes i think D= i dont care or try hard enough *hugs tighter* thanks for reading ^^

even small problems can cause pain =) so i try not to be so mean thats why sometimes i may seem like an idiot its because i try not to be mean and dont know what to say but being human i want to... but so far i have been doing an ok job i know i can do better lol but right now i have been comfused =) and this is still my happy side talking, i never let my real me show up around my friends, =( most of my deprssion comes from other peoples depression and im all my friends always tell me their big problem. like one has a abuseive farther, the other loves to lie but her brother beats her, ones way way poor and her family dosent lover her, and ect ect, so i can never show how depresse i am, and how craped up and screwed up my life and funny thing is when i accedently tell them my problem they always act like its not a big deal when they dont understand...which hurts me more and makes me feel like im not doing my job as a friend, its not like i want them to care about me but if they dont care about their friends their just selfish and just want to fix their problem only, *hugs* lol still reading?

i would ignore them, why should u care what they think its their owen fault their too busy being ******s and not seeing how kool and nice u are D= their are other people in the world that will understand your pain and be your greatest friend ^^ we are all the same but again we are all diffrent =) never for the worse but only for the good ^^ my pain is something that helps me see the world and its a very sad vile world =) but i know its possible to still change it we just got to keep standing strong. and be the better people and soon their see we dont care and more people that care more of the matter, people shouldnt give up and kill themselves or your just like them and let the world fall under the hands of the people you hate and hurt you D= just being alive helps the world a better place, ^^ still reading?

ug i really dislike those people >.< sadly thats my whole family and when i nag them i get yelled at and grounded -_- and then i feel bad for the people who get all sad because of the judgement of others T~T..

thats what people always tell me but it actully just keeps getting worse i know cause my mom use to love me and care about me, but now shes affraid of me cause i started wear alot a black and chains (not anymore because i decided i dont care anymore what people think)..but ill be ok because as my problem grows worse i will gorw strong and no matter what i will try my best not to let anyone see that im hurt and the pain they give me...and lol u saw the cheesecake thing?

i would go in my room and go to my corner (and yes i actully do have a corner...) and cry...i do it everyday cause everyday my mom or my sister would tell me they wish they werent related to me...my step dad just plain dosent care and my dad ran away..(proves how hated i am...i only wish i knew why...) cheesecake...

thats who i meant

for me its hard to protect XP cause no one will trust me cause im "too nice" and when i try to help they just yell at me and hate me...thats why i guess i act stupied and happy all the time cause im affraid of being alone again and i already know people hate and use me but hearing them actully say it hurts

weird
your keeping one right now

even if i hate them i would protect them...-_-....i would die giving my life to make someone happy, even if i hated them but putting a real smile and letting someone learn the ways of good is my #1 goal, i dont even care if i die fulfilling that goal either too