Wtf is this?

This better be Shiki on a different site or someone's gonna get their ass whooped.

 

what am I looking at?

 

looks like a poorly made signature for use on internet forums

whoever made it should probably eat several bags o' dicks

and die

from aforementioned bag-o-dick eatin'

maybe asphyxiation

unless that gets him off

people do that you know

like David Carradine

died in bangkok

bangin his kok

with a prostitute

chokin himself

he liked it

he knew karate you know?

Kill Bill was a cool movie

lots of chicks fighting

yeeeaaaaaaaahhhh

not the black one though

wasn't she on Mad TV?

I think so

lol cheerios

uma thurman got raped in a coma

lol

that probably sucked

dude

you think maybe coma-watcher people do that?

sick

...

kinda awesome though

unless they're uggos

eww

ugly people in a coma?

damn, they lose on all fronts

well

atleast they're not outside

(with their ugliness)

ugly people should go into comas more often

think we could do that?

maybe I'll do it

when I become President

I'll just pass a bill

be all

"Hey congress"

and they'll be all

"Yeah Mr. Prez?"

(I pass a law that everyone has to call me "Mr. Prez")

and then I'm all like

"Ugly people are so ugly, right"

And they all jiggle in agreement

so I'm like

Ugly people coma bill

ugly people gotta be in comas

by like a certain time

sorta like TV signals switchin over, and hybrid cars

all you uggos gotta just...idk

drop a toaster in your bathtubs

by the end of the year

and get into a coma so I dun have to lookit you

damn

I would be the greatest President ever

(well duh, with an awesome name like Mr. Prez)

you think they give Nobel Prizes for that kinda thing?

They'd probably invent one for me

the "infinitely improved humanity forever and always prize"

I'd win it every year

Einstein ain't got **** on this

maybe Walt Disney would come back to life because all the ugly people are gone

he froze himself because of that, you know?

that and jews

dunno what I can do about the jews, that's kinda a touchy thing

someone beat me to that one

don't want to seem unoriginal

I'd be the Carlos Mencia of Genocide

...

I'm not sure who should feel more bad about that

the Genocide or Carlos Mencia

hmm

Genocidlos Men-cya-later

lol get it

I wonder if there are Nobel prizes for awesome puns

there should be

the nobel prizes really don't cover a significant number of awesome things worth getting a gold medal over

people get gold medals for ping-pong

I mean seriously

the fuck?

and badminton

hehe

you know what the thing you hit in badminton is called?

a shuttlecock

(lol)

oh man

dude

shuttlecocks would be fuckin awesome

that's what I'll tell NASA to do

I'll be like

"Hey NASA"

and they'll be like

"si?"

(because I moved NASA to Mexico so people would stop having a reason to go to Florida)

(too many old people and tourists, srsli)

so yeah, "Dude NASA, make space shuttles look like cocks"

"que"

"cocks"

"que?"

"cocks"

"por que?"

OH GOD I HATE YOU NASA WHY DO WE EVEN CARE ABOUT SPACE

So then I move NASA out of Mexico because seriously, the fuck

I'd probably miss all the tacos though

ever watch a space shuttle blast off while eating a taco?

aaaaaaawesoooome

I'd have to move NASA somewhere I can still do cool shit while things go boom

not Iowa

because then

I'd be watching shuttle go off next to a bunch of corn

I'd be all

HEY CORN WATCHA DOIN

and corn would be like

"Photsynthesis"

...

"YOU'RE SO BORING CORN I HATE YOU"

So yeah, Iowa is out

(why do people even live there?)

forget it

where are there a lot of Italians?

because

I probably wouldn't miss the tacos so much if I had a plate o spaghetti

but then I'd probably look all messy :\

Presidents can't be messy, they have to look cool

like the Fonz

omg

omg

at my inauguration, I'm going to make it so that "Hail to the chief" cuts out randomly

and people will be all like

OMMMGGGGGG

(ladies will probably cry)

and I'd be all

*leather jacket*

I GOT DIS

And then, theres this jukebox

and I walk up to it

and SMACK IT SOME SENSE

and then Hail to the Chief starts playing again

it would be the most bad ass thing to ever happen in history ever

The Chief Justice would probably suck my dick right there

while still swearing me in

he'll be all

MMF UMPH HRGH SLURP GARGLE

and I'll be all

"I do"

...

does the president say "I do"?

screw that

I would say

"FO SHEEZY"

*double thumbs up*

*smile to the cameras*

then I nut on him

(he'd probably become a born-again christian afterwords)

so anyway

I'd probably conquer Italy so that I could put NASA there

and have a pizza pizza pizza pie

hehe

anyone remember Zoombinis?

and that one part, where like

you run into the rock monster, and he goes

"MAAAAKE MEE A PIIIIIIZAAAAA"

I sometimes shout that during online video games to confuse people

ask Ken, we play Monster Hunter

and we're hittin up this Hermitaur

so I'd be like

"Hey Ken"

"This Hermitaur is gonna make me a pizza"

and I'd proceed to shoot at it with my bowgun shouting

MAAAAAKE ME A PIIIIIIIIZAAAAA

and Hermitaur would be like

"QUIT IT, LANCE"

If you could hear me say it this would probably complete your life

but you can't

because you're not bffs with me

having a bff is really helpful nowadays

because it becomes an answer to anything

frat boys be like

"wanna hit up that gnarly kegger later, broham?"

"idk my bff chlamydia :\"

and he understands completely

so they go back to their dorm

and listen to Dave Matthews Band

while sipping naddy ices

and having sideways visor caps

because, you know

their left ears need to be protected from the sun

Dave Matthews Band abbreviated is DMB

which is kinda like

WMD

so, I'd probably name all of America's nukes after Dave Matthews Band songs

"Crash", hehe

global nuclear extermination would be fun times under my command

because all the nukes would have silly names

"Half of China has just been destroyed under the great girth of Oprah Winfrey"

"fuckin niiiiice", I say

as I'm playin SNES in the background of our secret military base

and then we all fist-pound

(real quick though because I'm fighting Scar in Lion King)

(I just got done beating Aladdin)

so yeah, then the entire popular of the earth is annihilated

by our largest nuke ever conceived

appropriately dubbed "khhottie30"

and I'm left with my entire presidential cabinet

(which consists of all supermodels/porn stars)

(positions were selected by their unique talents)

("Speaker of the House" has a nice mouth, if you know wha m sayn?)

so with the population of the earth depleted

it's up to me to repopulate the earth

with awesome children who possess the genetic make-up to be tall and sexy

with awesome child-bearing hips

who have no problem putting out

in front of cameras

basically what I'm getting at here

is that it would be the best. earth. ever.

 

You make me want to turn this into a game, guess what Fayt's raging about this time.

 

no srsly, tell me

 

...Lolwut?

 

Lol. That would be a very interesting Game to play.

Spoiler

The Game

 

Ugh, dear god my fingers have cut themselves with razors from all that scrolling.

 

The Game. csvsdvsdv

 

thank you all for participating in this experiment called "thoughts TMM has over the course of an hour"

 

I hate it when people steal some of my old sigs. I've gotten over 10 people who have stolen my stuff and then photoshopped their name on it.

 

I got bored. And I though it was funny.

 

Have you ever noticed you spelt 'helmet' wrong in your username? Just throwing that out there.

 

LOL. Why can't I give rep????

 

Funny. There was an entire thread dedicated to that.

 

I think he MENT to do that.

 

Yes.....so?