Someone please help.

Today my black cat ran away after crossing my path and knocking over my table salt and then walked beneath a ladder holding fragments of a broken mirror, which was owned by a man prone to opening his umbrella inside on sunny days.

 

.....What?

 

You are doomed...

Today I was hit in the face three times (by basket balls). :(​

 

Yes, that's him.

@thread - By my count you have 17 billion years of bad luck.
Wait... are they added to each other, or multiplied?

 

I think pretty much everyone's had bad luck today.
Pretty much the entirety of northern New York had terrible terrible snowstorms today. Lot's of people didn't have power at all today, and my house, personally, had the phone lines come down. They're back up now, but...

 

I think they're placed as powers of the first number.

 

In that case, you've just got to hope the origional number is 1 or below.

 

wow, looks like my luck today is good luck, since I'm the only one who hasn't had any bad luck......I hope I didn't just jinx it.

 

It's 13th and is Friday after all.

 

Don't forget that one moment when you stepped on the same crack with both feet.

By the way, how is your mother feeling? I do hope she's recovering.

 

I think you're pretty much cosmically screwed, Precious What?.

 

You're dead.

 

oh crap, I never noticed that. Everyone watch out for Jason, he's probably waiting till night to strike

 

Best way to avoid Jason or any other classic slasher villian, with possible exception of Freddy, is to not have sex or make out. Also not splitting up might help your odds since there is safety in numbers.

Basically, just don't do what the people who got killed were doing.

 

That's silly. You have to be as Genre Blind as possible.

 

Only if you're an idiot.
In a real life situation like this, you don't do what the idiots are doing.
This can actually apply to any situation.

 

Why would you tell Precious What? to do such a thing?
No, he should be more Dangerously Genre Savvy.

 

Pfft, that stuff only happens in the movies. Welp, I'd better be off to my rich uncle's remote island home now. I wouldn't want that storm coming to delay the ferry.

Nah, that's for villains. What? isn't a villain. What? is a Spanner in the Works. He does his thing, and then screws up the villain's plan by pure accident.

 

What does that make you and I, then?

 

You are a fanfic writer.

By the way, how is the second chapter coming along?