Octopus

A man walks into a bar with his octopus.
He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone that it is a very, very talented octopus and can play any musical instrument in the world.
Everyone in the bar laughs at this outrageous claim and dismisses him as total crank. At this the man angrily announces he will wager £50 with anyone that his octopus will play any musical instrument they care to provide.
Immediately a challenger walks up with his electric guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus then proceeds to pick up the guitar and starts playing better than Eddie Van Halen.
In amazement the guitar man pays up his £50.
Another man walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis. This guy also pays up his £50.
At this point a Scotsman walks up with some bagpipes.
He gives them to the octopus who fumbles with the instrument for a minute and then sits down with a confused look. "Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye nae plae it, laddie?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm gonna f**k it as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off!"