For Luxord

Luxord, this thread is for you.

Yesterday, roughly this time, I sent out a PM to several members of this site. In the PM I asked people to write a couple of lines about Luxord, PM it back to me and then I would compile it into this thread as to show you how much people around here care about you. Unfortunately with the limited time there is we couldn’t get everyone involved. However, if someone reading this also wants to leave a little something then of course you’re welcome and encouraged to do so in this thread. Without further ado, here are the messages people have left for you:




Hey Luxord,
I hope that you aren’t thinking that I think lower of you just because of our talk yesterday, it really doesn’t matter. I think you’re a really awesome guy and I wanted you to realise that others did too, which was where the idea for this thread started. You’re a pretty rad and hardworking guy. Here’s to hoping that everything goes well and hoping that you’ll come back, though that is of course your choice. Always remember to be yourself, no matter what. There will always be a place here for you. We are all rooting for you. Hope this will cheer you up a bit!

- Christhor




I know we haven't talked that much but I would like to give you a big thank you Luxord. As simple as it is, it has been very nice having someone who joined staff with me (even if our positions are nothing alike). And you helped me as I was getting my feet wet in the Code Vault. I really wish there was more I could do to help you. You are a really nice and all around awesome dude and it has been my pleasure to know you. You are in my prayers.

- mixt




Hey Luxord,
First of all I want to say sorry for not responding to your VM. D: It and some other ones got lost in the influx I got recently. Anyway, I can't say I know what you have to go through right now. I don't understand much about it or why it's happening, but do know this: Even though I've never talked to you, and am still wearing my FRESH MEAT staff sign, I do want you to know that I am here for you. If you need to talk, VM, MSN, PM - anything, me and everyone else are here for you.

Even though I barely know you, you've been part of this site as long as I can say I've been here, and I look forward to continuing to see you after this happens. Just know that all of us are rooting for you, and will be there right when you come back t tackle glomp you all across the forum. Best of wishes, dude.

- Plums Vi Britannia




I haven't known you for very long, but in the time since we have been talking I have found you to be a pretty awesome guy. <3 It's incredibly unfair that a driven and talented guy like yourself has to go through this. I wish you the best of luck in your operation and the following recovery time and want to assure you that I am keeping you in my mind & prayers.

- Misty




Luxord, I've barely spoke to you but when I did in Voxli, twas funny, I was literally close to tears when you was teasing fkb and Cryo by shipping them with other members. We and the others in Voxli at the time made quite a few beatufuil threads giving the parings a background story and other stuff. I hope reading this cheers you up, even a little. You're awesome dude and I hope everything goes well. I salute you supreme rice king n_n I would write more but I'm running out of time..and I'm too lazy<3

From your ricey loyal subject ,

Kelly




I wish I could find the words to sum up what I want to say., but I simply cannot.
I'd wish you luck, but that would make it seem dangerous
I'd tell you how much of an inspiration I find you, but it would seem cliché.
I'd lecture you on the importance and greatness of this but you'd get bored.
So instead let me say thank you for coming to KHV, and let me say that though you deserve better you have not recieved it; so instead you should make it happen, you'd be surprised how far human will can go.
This probably sounds extremely odd but, I really don't have the words for what I wish to say.
I wish you well, and I look forward to seeing you after it all.

- rikusorakairiown




To Luxord,

I don't know you that well, and I don't really get the rice thing. But from what I've seen, you look like an awesome member. You've obviously affected a lot of people on the site--for the better. I'm proud of you, bro. KHV will always be here. Even with the drama, and the frustrations, that all comes with being apart of a family. We'll be thinking of you, and waiting for you with open arms. We love you. Take good care of yourself and don't stoppp, believin'. <3

- נαуn




Luxord, you're an amazing guy and are always great to talk to. You bring voxli alive and always have something to say. I love all the chats we have on voxli, especially when we're all on mic and it all gets a bit mad. I've had lots of laughs with you and I look forward to lots more in the future. I wish you all the luck I can, as you deseve it all and more. You'll be fine I'm sure, so keep smiling and we'll wait eagerly for your return.

- Midnight Star




Dear Luxord.

After meeting you only a couple months ago, I wanted to tell you what you are doing is one of the bravest things I have ever seen anyone do. I know you must be so nervous and freaking out ever so slowly. I want you to keep your head up and just try to thing positive. I know you've told me that the easiest way is to stay negative. We all gotta work hard to get somewhere. I wish you the best and I want you to be back up your feet so I can watch you make a mod of me in a KH game. We will have the greatest story ever full of awesomeness and even weirdness. I think of you as a good friend to me and I hope I have been one to you. I know you will make a swift recovery and return here. Every person who you have talked to, you have made an effect in all of us. So get well soon and we will be here to party on Halo when you return. :3 love you buddy <3

Sabby.





Doing these sorts of messages is always difficult. Inevitably, I put them until the last possible moment. Not because there's nothing to write about you, but because there's so much to say. Choosing what to say and what not to say is one of the hardest tasks. From your superb coding and cleanup of the Code Vault, to your humourous rice-meme campaigning, to you openly speaking your mind about Voxli. Each of those, and countless more, are valued parts of you, and deserve their own recognition. That said, I do not have the time to write a book about you, nor even a suitably long essay. So instead, I'm going to focus on what -doesn't- define you: your cancer.

Having cancer sets you apart from everyone else. Having it terminal even sets you apart from similar patients. It would be very easy for your cancer to become you, and take over your entire sense of identity. Which is why it is such an achievement that you're not. You've tried incredibly hard to avoid that fate, and your effort has paid off. Where as anyone else in your situation would be known as "Luxord, that kid with terminal cancer", you are not. When I think of you, cancer is often not even on my mind. To me and to everyone else, you're Luxord, the awesome Coder from KHV, the guy who single-handedly cleared away enough spam in the spamzone to give Misty Top Poster. But it's not just deleting posts that causes people to remember you. You have an incredible personality too. Whereas others change when they join staff, you have remained one of the members, and a friend before an automaton. You always joke around. Can you be offensive? Does it get on some people's nerves? Of course. More importantly, do you let that affect you? Hell no! You keep on throwing out joke after joke for us to laugh about together, be it CryobanexNova shippings (lol), Rice spam, Dalk's lawfulness or even just everyday life.

That's the important thing about you, I feel. You're entirely yourself. You don't allow yourself to be defined by your disease, your position or your peers. I know that when you're gone, I'll be sad.

Then I'll be happy.

I'll be happy, because you'll be back here, doing awesome coding, messing around with us in Voxli again. Because I'm certain that you're not going to let a silly disease keep you from doing what you want.

See ya soon!

- P




I'm really sorry that you're having a rough time, and I don't know what it's like to go through what you're going through right now, but I have faith that you can get through it. I know that you have a lot of determination because over the last few years, you've been persistently maintaining the Code Vault, and ambitiously striving to become a Coder. Without a doubt, you're among the most active and devoted members on this site. It's time to focus that devotion inwards and concentrate on getting better. Take as long as you need to recover, and know that we'll handle things here. You'll be greatly missed if you decide not to return, but do what's best for yourself, and know that you're always welcome back :) Take care, ♥♦♣♠Luxord♥♦♣♠.

- iwantedtoexplode




Luxord, you're just awesome ^^ Such a great friend is hard to get, and I hope you'll feeling better soon ^^

- Wheel of Time




For Luxord
Luxord, you are perhaps one of the greatest members - and friends - I have held the pleasure of meeting on this forum, and as such I wish to remind you that we all love you dearly and will support you in this upcoming challenge - which, you shall no doubt overcome with your mastery over rice. Life, at this point, may indeed be quite hard, but you shall move through this wave and onwards into brighter horizons - life is a factor of improvement, though the negatives may bog one down at first, positives begin to emerge. One must simply have hope. You are a wonderful, amazing person, and let it be known that simple English adjectives cannot express such meaning with ease or even eloquence - yours is a soul of kindness, wit, and good humour that transcends simple linguistics, and as such you shall be in the hearts of all of us, remembered for who you are and who you will be in the future - Luxord, Gambler of Rice, conqueror of this operation, and an excellent human being.

- What?




Luxord,
You're such a great, hard-working person with a fantastic sense of humor, and it's clear you're a passionate musician and a talented coder =]. You've done so much work for KHV it's astounding, and we all really appreciate it. I wish you the best with your operation and recovery, and remember we'll always be here for you if you need us. Take care and I hope the hospital food's not too bad 8'D maybe they'll have rice!
All the best,
Stardust




Hey Luxord,

I hope the operation goes well and you have a speedy recovery. I never had an operation done before so I wouldn't know but I found thinking happy thoughts help me when I have to do something I dread. Anyways, get better and you'll have your cushy Coder seat waiting for you when you get back.

- Evilman_89




Alright,

Luxord, oh how epic you've made rice ^^ I can't acknowledge it without laughing (I wander how many references to rice there will be in these messages xD). Anyway, I can't imagine how scared you are and I really hope you the best, it's untrue how much I wish I could help but words are all I can offer, otherwise I'd get you some grapes or rice. I believe you'll be just fine and you'll return to do some more epic coding. Now, I don't know how much this means to you but I'll be praying and I'll ask my church leaders to pray as well. I'll miss you in your absence, get better soon my friend. Xx

- Ienzo




Dear Luxord:

Thinking of you wherever you are ... okay, sorry, I couldn’t resist ^^. I wanted to say that, while i hope never to feel what you are right now, I am thinking of you. Things of late haven’t been the best for you, and yet you’ve been able to stay positive and a generally cool guy all of the way through it, and I respect that. We’ve had our minor quarrels, but I think it’s fair to say we don’t despise each other. What you are going through is not easy, and my thoughts are with you ... and if I were to pray, you would be in my prayers too ^^. You’ll be fine, I’m sure of it, I know that you will be all right.
Thinking of you in difficult times

Clawtooth.

P.S. Rice ... that is all.




Be well and I hope you're okay. It'd be sad to have such a valuable member of KHV leave us. And besides, who would provide us with rice?

- Jet.User




"Luxord... Ryan... Friend, you're going through some deep shit and I get that. I get how scared and hurt you are and I know how much everything seems to suck right now, but it won't suck forever. Trust me, I should know, but then again we've already had those vent sessions called PMs about all of that, so i'm not gonna repeat it again. I'll admit that I can not even fathom some of the things you must be feeling. The fear of death, or the pain of being stabed in the back by a TRUE friend, as the people who've stabbed my back were more like close acquaintances (<-- sorry for possible spelling failz...). I love you as a friend and I love you as a guy. You are TRULY one of the best, nicest, sweetest, awesomest men i've ever met and it would be sad to see you leave, both this earth AND this forum. You're one of the cool katz, and coming from the big cat herself, that is QUITE an honor. I wish we could meet in real life just ONCE and take an hour or two to talk, vent, cry, hug, and anything else you would be willing to do, but sadly being in the same timezone and the same city are two very different things. I can tell I am venting and/or ranting at this point but i'm speaking my mind and letting all of my emotions out, which is something YOU told me to do! I know that I am strong but you need to stay strong too. The day of the operation, or not depending on what your heart tells you, I will be thinking about you the whole time and I will be praying for you. I looked up what your name means and I found it. It means little king, and the traits of people with that name are that they're strong, active men who are extremely good-looking, though shy. I thought it fit extremely well for you, as my defenition fits me. I want to write another poem for you, but I think i've got some better words for you. Three to be exact...

So. Far. Away.
I love you Ryan, and I hope you end up happy and healthy, no matter where you end up.
Never feared for anything, never shamed but never free
A life that healed a broken heart with all that it could
Lived a life so endlessly, saw beyond what others see
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could...

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book its burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away...

Plans of what our futures hold, foolish lies of growing old
It seems we're so invincible, the truth is so cold
A final song, a last request, a perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind
Where you can stay, you can stay awake forever...

I'm here for ya till the bittersweet end buddy. These lyrics in particular made me think of our conversations and of our relationship... Now excuse me while I go cry and pray for your safety, health, and eternal joy.

Sorry for being such a wussy...
~Catalina



Another Luxord thread.
There will be rice.

 

I feel kinda out of the loop not getting one of these, but still; I hope he does well in his operation, and that his situation gets a lot better.

 

I feel so stupid for never even knowing about this! D:

Luxord, I understand that things are hard, but you can get through this. I know you can. All of KHV believes in you. Getting through this operation is gonna be a piece of rice cake for you.

 

Wow...
I don't really know you well, but you can make it through this.
It'll get better.
And we'll be waiting for you here.

 

Hey man, you're a pretty gr--

...Wait, he shipped me with whom

 

Oh no, I didn't know about this D: Luxord, we don't talk often, it was mainly on voxli that we ever spoke recently at least, but either way I still know enough about you that you are a great person, and KHV is here for you no matter what. I wish you all the best with the operation, stay positive, and we'll be waiting here for you to get back. It's safe to say that a lot of members love you here at KHV, myself and everyone you have met here will be rooting for your speedy recovery. Stay strong, Luxord.

-Xaale

 

Where to begin....Just WOW I did not expect this at all. Well I can start with what you all deserve. A huge thank you. I am extremely lucky to have all of your support.

Look how far we have all come. I mean I found this site in 2007-2008 and just looked at the code vault as a guest and gathered everything I needed to play like the coders did in their videos. Then in 2009 I said to myself I want to be like them and it is going to happen. When I started out I was not doing great at all. The noob trying to realize that you actually need to think to make these codes. But slowly I made my way up in the ranks and believe it or not made premium in about 7 months or so.

Still i could not accomplish much so I decided to take a small break and wander into the spamzone. 2010 the year Wolfie ate my face and I left khv for a good while. During that time I learned how to hack by myself with no help because that was the only way I was going to really learn. And after my first year of marching band freshmen year when I had free time I thought "Hey I remember kh-vids I should go back and show them what I've got." I am so happy I came back. Every single one of you from banned members to staff has taught me something about this site, about myself, and about other life related things.

I never would have thought the spamzone or anyone outside of the code vault would like me let alone know who I was. I thank FKB big time. She told me to go to tinychat which lead me to voxli. Where it all started. From listening to cherry rap to dalk and rissy singing Master Exploder. Through the good times of pairing members together without them knowing it to getting 16 pages of replies to 4E's thread laughing our asses off the entire time on mic. Of course there were bad times. Having half of a room know you may die and trying to explain to one of the site's nicest members that you have cancer. This site was supposed to be my escape from life. A stress free way to get away from it all. It turned out to be a big part of my life and at first I was not happy about it but now I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Look at me now. I am a coder. If you think highly of that or not I still made it on staff. My goal since before I joined this site (ask CtR I kind of back seat modded a lot in 2009). But hey if an average guy could turn into a hacking role model then any of you can achieve whatever goal you may have. I am talking to all of you. Whatever you want in life just go for it because the only one stopping you from getting there is you. Life has it's fair share of challenges I will tell you that much but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You all opened my eyes today. I came out of hiding because there is no reason to. A forum with this much love for a person they haven't even met in real life is not something you see every day.

Now this one is probably going to make sabby roll her eyes but....

If I don't make it through this even though I am confident I will. I want you all to stay strong.
Remember me as I was. Sure you can cry or be angry or do whatever but you will need to heal eventually and don't any of you dare blame yourselves or feel guilty. This is all on me now. Stay strong khv for me and for you.

Remember the good times not the bad. Dwelling in sadness and anger will get you nowhere.
If anything you should remember three things

1: I love you all and you each hold a special place in my heart.
2: Always remember to eat your rice.
3: Last but not least DALK IS THE LAW.


Thank you all once again.

 

This is where you are going? So the coin keeps spinning. I'll be watching.

Good luck. Life and death, I have not encountered these kinds of flips before... My support would go out to your dead soul if you die, for that is the only thing that you would need support for.

Feeling... Taboo.

 

I'm jumping on the bandwagon here because I can. :3

Luxord, even though I haven't really known you that long, we've talked so much and I've told you many things that I've yet to even reveal to some of my closest friends because they didn't know what it was like to have to go through what I did. You're nearing that time that I survived and I hope to some higher entity that you make it through, because if anyone deserves it, it's you.

You're a great friend and an amazing guy and you've made the coder section even more awesome than it already is. Your decision made me really happy because I know that I somehow contributed to your final decision of actually going through with it, and I have confidence that as strong as you are, you'll make it. I don't want to put here what will happen if you don't, but we will stay strong no matter what happens to you in the future.

Regardless of where the future takes you, you will always be in my thoughts, and I will always hope that no matter where you are, you're happy. You're a good guy Luxord.

-Saxima

 

Hey there Luxord, hope everything turns out well. And by well I mean how you want it because I don't know the **** you are going through.
Btw, Im better than you at playing drums. Get well.


- I don't need to sign this because you can already see that I posted it. Lololol

 

BLUH OUT OF THE LOOP


Luxord-
YOU ARE AN AWSOME PERSON. KEEP BEING AWSOME.
I really hope we can get to know each other better sometime. <3
~~~~Your Supreme King and Fearless Leader.

 

I wish you all the luck in the world, and hope everything goes as well as possible. I regret that I didn't get to know you sooner, and I regret the fact that my own technical inabilities limit my understanding of what you've done for the Code Vault.
Best wishes, MadDoctorMaddie

 

Aww, Ryan... I only wish FKB could be here to give you back the rice she stole...

Love ya buddy, and i'm glad to see that you're visible again.

Also, CGO has some rice for you.

<3<3<3

 

You are a stranger to me, but you're also a part of this community (staff member or no), and as any neighbor would, I'll be hoping for your good health. Take care and I'll be waiting on your comeback. I do mean that. Really.

- Spike

 

Luxord, I've always seen you around KHV in the spamzone, and I knew only from your posts you were probably a pretty cool guy. It was proven right in Voxli. (You can always count on ЅкyCɑт for being google image goddess.) Anyway..we'll be waiting for you here with party hats and that thing that you blow into and it unrolls.
Best of luck man, my prayers are for you.
-AwkwardFailure

 

I wish I was more well known so I could have beem part of this.

Lux. You are awesome. Only talked to you twice and just learning that you played an instrument made you awesome in my eyes. You even have good taste in music. I couldn't imagin being a voder which is why you appear so godly to me. You take what I enjoy and are able to morph it into almost anything. Wasn't there for the rice party but I didn't need to be. I don't know why this was made but I hope it isn't because you want to leave. Your to awesome for that. Besides I think someone on this site "likes" you. Keep beimg awesome man.

 

Aww I never heard of this D8

Is it wrong I'm tearing?Either way,Luxord,I don't really know you all that well.But you seem like a great awesome guy.I don't know what the rice stuff is about I go along with it any way.You seem awesome and cool,don't you play an instrument?I wish to one day talk to you,maybe when you come back.Anyway,Stay strong,Best of luck,and I'm praying for you .

-Terra

 

Dude, I feel horrible. I had no idea what was going on. I don't know if it was mentioned in Voxli and I wasn't paying attention or I'm just a terrible person and forgot! I didn't reply to your VM because I was searching the site for some clue to what you meant. Now that I heard, I hope that everything goes well and I apologize so much for not knowing and even forgetting, if that's what I did. You are a really awesome being, not just member or person, but being in total. In fact, one of my earliest memories of this site is your old sig with Sora on the stairs (which was also my first VM to you). Though I still don't get the rice thing, I'll save you a bowl just for you! You're in my thoughts. I hope everything goes smoothly. Be strong, just like you've already been so far! We're all here for you, man.

 

I want to take a second to thank everyone who particapated too. Thanks guys, it's beautiful to see that in the times in need a rather splitted community like this can come together in unison to help one person. I also apologise to everyone who would have wanted to be in on the thing but weren't, if I had thought of the idea a bit sooner there would have surely been more people involved. It's lovely to see people carry it on in the posts though, which was what I hoped would happen. Thank you guys.

 

I honestly had no idea that you were going through this... I'll have ye know that we've all got your back Luxord :3

You are a genuinely awesome fellow, I'll have you know first thing!! We never really got talking till this year but i have to say once we started talking I found you to be once of the sweetest, awesomest (if thats a word) people I've had the pleasure to talk to, from great musical tastes to having general rambles about the hacking/coding community!! xDD You gave me courage to actually post in the coding section, something I never used to do and well... You put up with my godawful rapping and such xDDD will always love our voxli convos!! 8) Don't forget that you're a great friend, an awesome staff member and loved by most of us <3

I know that you must be in a bit of a dark place at the moment, but never give up on hope c:
Sometimes the doctors could be wrong. They were wrong the first time they diagnosed my brother when he was 2 and he lived most of his childhood as normal c:. So I really hope they were so wrong in your case too, and that things work out for the better. Because nobody, nobody deserves this accursed illness.

Keep strong, ok? :3 I'll make ye some scones when we cross paths again 8) and who knows, maybe even another godawful rap? xD