I apologize in advance for, well, everything. It took a while and it wasn't worth the wait or forgetting about it or anything. Well, I'll let it speak for itself. But I really do apologize. Also, pretend the formatting isn't ****. Thanks. Spoiler: ~Super Neon Shoujo Quest Ai~ Jiku Neon: “It's really hot in the summer's here. Really hot. Like, “Get your eggs and bacon out here because this sidewalk is cookin'!” hot. I can't stand it usually, so I stay inside.” Jiku Neon: “This past summer, though. It was the hottest one on record...” Jiku Neon: “God. I fucked up hard. I never should have said yes that day. If I could change anything about my life right now, I'd never have gone with him. Things would never have gotten so weird. I wouldn't have gotten so--” *ring* Jiku Neon: “Agh, my phone. It's... Ashwin. I guess I've been blowing him off for long enough as it is. He really does deserve an answer before I go tomorrow.” Jiku Neon: “Hey, Ash. What is it?” What?: “Can you meet me at the Observatory tonight? it's your last night and all so I thought that maybe if you weren't busy...” Jiku Neon: “Ashwin, I can't.” What?: “Why not? We've been planning it all summer. You're going to go back to that school tomorrow and that's all the way in the next town over. You won't be back until the Wint--” Jiku Neon: “I said I can't, alright?” “… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that.” Jiku Neon: “He sounds really sad. I can almost see his eyes wavering along with his voice. We've been friends since we were kids, how did it come to this?” What?: “No, it's fine. You don't have to. I get that things have been different between us for a while. Looking at stars like we used to isn't as important.” Jiku Neon: “No! Ash, I'm sorry. Really, I just-- things are hard right now. I'll make it up to you somehow, I swear. I'll only be a few hours away at school, you know? We can do it some other time, just not now. Now I just need to be alone. Okay?” What?: “You've always been really bad at lying... So I'll trust you on this one. Next time we're going to spend all night in there. We're not gonna let them kick us out or anything, we can go find that one place on the second basement level, in the planetarium where we used to hide as kids. It's such a strange architectural feature too, why have that random outcropping and why put a perpetually empty cabinet in it behind that lard theater curtain? But I bet we could still fit in there and given how much dust there was there last time, I doubt even the cleaning people know its there. We could bring backpacks and snacks and star charts and we could even look for comets and planetary transits. Did you know--” Jiku Neon: “Ash, you're hyperventilating. You need to be a little calmer about these things.” What?: “I am not hyperventilating. I just happen to be breathing a little faster than normal to allow my mouth to keep up with all my thoughts.” Jiku Neon: “Really? It seemed like you were doing a lot more breathing than talking during bits of that.” What?: “I'm perfectly fine. So you promised, no going back on it. Right?” Jiku Neon: “Yeah. No going back on it.” What?: “You swear?” Jiku Neon: “On my unopened factory condition copy of God Hand.” What?: “Alright. I'm here if you need me, you know? If you want to be alone it's alright, but if you ever need anything. Anything at all--” Jiku Neon: “Thanks. It means a lot to me, ever since we've been kids you've been the only one I can talk to about things. But this time it's not something I want to talk about, I just need to...” Jiku Neon: “What is it that I really need to do here?” What?: “Well, I'll let you figure things out then. Bye.” Jiku Neon: “Bye...” Jiku Neon: “I'm such an idiot. Maybe I should call him back.” Jiku Neon: "No, that wouldn't help anything. Ash is still just a kid at heart, he probably couldn't understand this kind of thing. I'll go for a walk. It's much cooler at night and it's when... well, it's not important.” Jiku Neon:“I hate him.” Jiku Neon: “Who am I kidding? I'm still head over heels for that idiot. I bet he thought I was just some stupid girl he could play around with for a summer. I bet he's already moved on to the next conquest. I was stupid to believe it meant anything. Fuck.” Jiku Neon: “It's 'cause I'm really just as shallow as all those other girls. The second a pretty boy like that gave me a second glance I was his. Fuck.” Jiku Neon: “Maybe it's better that it ended like this. Maybe it's better if I just do my best to forget this whole thing. Maybe there's nothing more to it and I'm the only one who ever cared.” Jiku Neon: *sigh* Jiku Neon: “But forgetting and moving on is so hard. God, I'm walking in circles in real life too. Even though it's night, it's so damn hot. I'm already gross and sweaty. Guess it's time to go back home.” Amaury: “Hey!” Jiku Neon: “...no...” Amaury: “Jiku!” Jiku Neon: “No, no, no...” Amaury: “HEY!” Jiku Neon: "No, no, no, no, no, no no nono—Hello. What're you doing here at this time of night?” Amaury: “I didn't know that you'd be here. I jog around the park a lot, you know, to stay in shape. Haven't seen you for a few days, you been alright?” Jiku Neon: “Not really.” Amaury: “What's wrong? Anything I can help with?” Jiku Neon:“Not really.” Amaury: “But I REALLY want to. That's me helpful as a clam.” Jiku Neon: “That didn't even make sense.” Amaury: “Isn't that a saying?” Jiku Neon: “No. No, it isn't.” Amaury: “Well, if you ever need anything you know where to find me.” Jiku Neon:“Thank goodness, he's gone.” Jiku Neon: “Amaury, wait.” “What are you saying?” Amaury: “What's up?” Jiku Neon: “I-- I-- uh...” Amaury: “Is it bigger than a breadbox?” Jiku Neon: “Shut up and listen, you total doof!” “It's about that party a few days ago. The last time you saw me.” “Keep it together.” “You remember what happened, right?” Amaury: “Of course I do.” Jiku Neon: “Well, you remember how I left early, right?” Amaury: “Yeah, were you feeling ill or something, I hear there's--” Jiku Neon: “No seriously, just shut up and listen for once in your life!” Amaury: “You're serious, aren't you?” Jiku Neon: “No shit, Sherlock.” Jiku Neon: “Yes, I am. Now please.” Amaury: “Ah, okay, okay. I'll listen, anything to help. So go on.” Jiku Neon: “I left because I saw him with her.” Amaury: “Yeah, so?” Jiku Neon: “Like with her, with her, you doof.” Amaury: “Um...” Jiku Neon: “They were making out, okay? I said it. The guy I was going after this whole Summer was snogging some weird chick he knew from homeroom and I was the sucker.” Amaury: “That's... awful. Did you talk to him about it? Maybe there was some misunderstanding.” Jiku Neon: “No and do you seriously expect me to go up to him and ask that?” Amaury: “It can't hurt. Right?” Jiku Neon: “I have no idea what possessed me when I thought talking to you would be a good idea.” Amaury: “You can avoid him if you want, you're leaving for school soon and he's sticking around here for another year.” Jiku Neon: “But the second I come back--” Amaury: “Then what do you want to do?” Jiku Neon: “I don't know. I just want things to go back to how things were before this summer started. I want to just not feel that deep, heavy throbbing in my chest when I think about him, you know?” Amaury: “No, actually, I don't.” Jiku Neon: “I don't want to be in love with him because he clearly can't reciprocate.” Amaury: “Tell him that.” Jiku Neon: “He'll just use it against me. He was playing me from the start. I knew--” Amaury: “How do you know? You never got his side of the story. Maybe he's just as much a victim as you.” Jiku Neon: “But he wouldn't told me, if that were true.” Amaury: “You haven't spoken to him, though.” Jiku Neon: “He'd call at l– no, actually, he did call and you ignored it, all seven times, miss prissypants.” Amaury: “What?” Jiku Neon: “I seriously thought the end of the world would occur before I said this but Amaury... you're right.” Amaury: “Uh, thanks?” Jiku Neon: “You're welcome.” Jiku Neon:“I can't believe it. I'm so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. All I needed to do was ask. Either things work out and we're all happily ever after or he rips my heart out and crushes it underfoot. Either way it's better than this-- this-- this perpetual dull ache, this disgustingly slow burn creeping and searing ever outwards through my body at the mere thought of him, this unrelenting stinging in my eyes as I force myself not to cry. This has to end. I don't know why everyone's talking up love so much, it seems great when you start out but then you realize there's actually something there, something you can't get rid of whenever you want, something they always play down on those inane shows and in those trite movies. Art imitates life, bah. Humbug to that shit. I don't even know where I'm going or what I'm going to say exactly but I'm running now and for once it's towards my problem and not away from it-- “Fuck.” *crash* Jiku Neon: “Ngh...” Forsaken: “Yeah, me too. I'm sorry, I wasn't really looking where I was going and then suddenly... you.” Jiku Neon: “Nah, it's my fault. Besides, you broke my fall, so we'll call it even.” Forsaken: “Good to know something came of that. So where've you been?” Jiku Neon: “Looking for you. Well, for the last few minutes. Before that I was avoiding you.” Forsaken: “Pardon?” Jiku Neon: “It's a story that I plan on broaching the subject of a little bit later in this conversation. Can we find somewhere to sit?” Forsaken: “Uh, sure. My house it just a block or so away, but I was on my way to the convenience store. You want to come? We can talk as we walk.” Jiku Neon: “Uh, sure. We can talk if we want to.” Forsaken: “We can also wait until we get back to my place if you really need to sit down for this.” Jiku Neon: “Yes. Yes, I think that's better.” Forsaken: “Well, we'd better hurry along then, it's getting late.” Jiku Neon: “Uh, yeah. It is, isn't it?” Jiku Neon: “Okay, Jiku. He's right there next to you. The man of your... okay not dreams. You never really dreamed about-- get your shit together girl, this is it. In a couple of minutes you're going to have a good long-ish talk with him and figure shit out. Hopefully heartbreak isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be, otherwise lovesick might actually be the-- no. No. No second thoughts, you hear? You are doing it. You are making this happen.” Forsaken: “When I said we could wait on what you had to talk about I didn't mean you had to stalk behind me in silence. It's kind of creepy.” Jiku Neon: “Sorry.” Forsaken: “No, no. I meant like, you are still allowed to talk and all.” Jiku Neon: “I've got... things on my mind I suppose is the best way to put it, so...” Forsaken: “Okay, we'll talk later. You got a five?” Jiku Neon: “No, I actually didn't bring anything... Wow, that was poor planning in retrospect.” Forsaken: “Oh, nevermind, I got it.” Jiku Neon: “Sorry.” Forsaken: “What's up with you? I haven't seen you apologize this much since we first went out.” Jiku Neon: “Old habits, I guess.” Forsaken: “Gimme a second while I go buy this stuff.” Jiku Neon: “Okay.” Jiku Neon: “Alright, he seems totally fine. I seem... marginally passable. I probably stink to high heaven given how much running I've been doing but fuckall if I care. That's right. Keep yourself psyched. Keep yourself from pussying out like a big fat coward. Alright.” Jiku Neon: “So how far is it back to your place?” Forsaken: “Oh right, I never got a chance to show you. It's just about half a mile. How long were you running?” Jiku Neon: “I started in the park.” Forsaken: “That's over a mile away. Why were you running anyway?” Jiku Neon: “So about ten minutes I guess? Like I said, to find you.” Forsaken: “You weren't even breathing hard, that's pretty good. I remember when I thought you were a hopeless, nerdy, shut in. Shows how wrong you can be, you know?” Jiku Neon: “I sort of am... I just have other interests, too.” Forsaken: “I didn't mean anything bad by it. We're all sorta nerdy about certain things, aren't we?” Jiku Neon: “Uh, I can't really speak for anyone else.” Forsaken: “Yeah, you're right. You're usually right, aren't you?” Jiku Neon: “Um, J-- No, not now. Just wait, you've got time.” Forsaken: “What is it?” Jiku Neon: “N-nothing. I'll tell you later.” Forsaken: “Alright. Here we are, the old homestead. The folks are out.” Forsaken: “I hope that's not a problem.” Jiku Neon: “No. It's fine.” Forsaken: “Cool.” Jiku Neon: “So... um...” Forsaken: “Yeah?” Jiku Neon: “Gimme a second, dammit!” Forsaken: “Alright, alright.” Jiku Neon: “Okay. I'll start with an apology and then follow with an explanation.” “I'm sorry I was avoiding your calls. I think that I probably shouldn't have done that.” Forsaken: “Why were you, then?” Jiku Neon: “I was getting to that, jeez, have a little patience.” Forsaken: “Sorry, sorry. I'll let you go on.” Jiku Neon: “Well, you know the party last Friday?” Forsaken: “I was there. In fact, we both were.” Jiku Neon: “Yeah, about that... do you remember everything that happened?” Forsaken: “What are you getting at?” Jiku Neon: “Just tell me what happened after we split up. After I... you know.” Forsaken: “Nothing much.” Jiku Neon: “What if I told you that I saw you with Jayn?” Forsaken: “I'd say you were right.” Jiku Neon: “What if I told you that I saw you two--” Forsaken: “She jumped on me. I tried not to hurt her feelings. That was it. I seriously never thought you'd be so weird about that. She's crazy. Absolutely insane, she called me racist for letting her borrow a black sweater. How in the world I that racist? It's what I had on hand. Anyway--” *ding* *dong* Forsaken: “Who could be here at this hour? I've gotta get that. We'll continue this when I get back.” Jiku Neon: “Who could it be, out there?” Jiku Neon: “Oh, god damn it! Why can nothing in my life go to plan? Why? What is she even doing here?” Forsaken: “Hey, Jayn. What's up?” Jayn: “I'm here, just like I said I would be.” Forsaken: “Now's not a good time, besides, I told you not to show.” Jayn: “But you were joking.” Forsaken: “No, I'm pretty sure I wasn't.” Jayn: “You're so funny sometimes.” Jayn: “Can I come in?” Forsaken: “I'm kind of busy at the moment. Can you come back another day?” Jayn: “I'm coming in.” Jiku Neon: “Hello, Jayn.” Jayn: “What's she doing here?” Forsaken: “We were talking, it's a thing people tend to do from time to time.” Jayn: “What were you talking about?” Jiku Neon: “She just kissed him.” “She just kissed him like it was totally natural.” “He didn't really push her away either. He just kind of sat there.” “When I tried...” Jiku Neon: “Things. I was actually just leaving.” Forsaken: “Jiku! Seriously?” Jayn: “That's such a nice coincidence. Though, you shouldn't have been here in the first place, me and Fork have a date.” Jiku Neon: “I know. Just took me a little while to figure it out.” Forsaken: “Jiku. Wait. Arrêtt. Halt. Stop. JIKU! You know she's a little... weird about me.” Jayn: “I am not weird!” Forsaken: “You ARE!” Jiku Neon: “You make a wonderful couple.” Forsaken: “Jiku, come back here!” Jiku Neon: “No. I'm done.” Jayn: “Now we're finally all alone together! Yay!” Forsaken: “Jayn. Stay. I'm going to go out to find her, when we come back you're going to be nice and apologize.” Jayn: “For what? Do you want me to cook you dinner?” Forsaken: “Fuck it.” Jiku Neon: “Fuck everything. It hurts. It hurts bad. It hurts worse than I thought it would, seeing her kissing him again. It hurts worst that he was so calm, that he thought he could diffuse this situation, diffuse me. He should have been flustered or something. He should've done something! ANYTHING AT ALL! God, he's so stupid. I hate him.” Jiku Neon: “I'm going to sit here until morning, leave and everything is going to be alright. Fuck . It's not. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna suck and nobody's gonna get it. I'm gonna have to take this all alone and... ugh.” Forsaken: “I knew you'd be here.” Jiku Neon: “I never should have brought you here. Who did I think I was impressing?” Forsaken: “Jiku. Just listen.” Jiku Neon: “Jad, I just want to be alone.” Forsaken: “Are-- Are you crying?” Jiku Neon: “No!” Forsaken: “You are!” Jiku Neon: “I'm not.” Forsaken: “Just admit it.” Jiku Neon: “I'm not crying because the guy I like was making out with another girl; I'm not crying because he doesn't seem to care about me; I'm not crying because seeing him in front of me like this hurts; because I'm not crying!” Forsaken: “Alright. You're not crying.” Jiku Neon: “Damn, s-straight, I'm not...” Jiku Neon: * sniff * Forsaken: “So... Remember when you first brought me here? To this field.” Jiku Neon: * sniff * Jiku Neon: “It was like two weeks ago.” Forsaken: “Yeah, but do you really remember it?” Jiku Neon: “I brought you up here and said I came here when I had to think. You said it was beautiful, we talked a bit and went home.” Forsaken: “What did we talk about?” Jiku Neon: “Stuff.” Forsaken: “We talked about what we wanted to do in the future. You even told me that you were surprised a guy like me was thinking that far ahead.” Jiku Neon: “Yeah, though, I still think you've got basically no shot at being a famous novelist.” Forsaken: “Do you remember what else I said I wanted to do in the future?” Jiku Neon: “Was there something else?” Forsaken: “I'll say it again. I want to be important. Not like the kind of guy that rules the country or anything. I just want to mean something, to be something that everyone-- no even one person really cares about, really wants around.” Jiku Neon: “Yeah... You told me that you didn't think any of your friends really liked you all that much. That I was the only one you felt comfortable talking to like this.” Forsaken: “That's right.” Jiku Neon: “But you know. Even before you started talking to me. For a while now you have had someone like that. Someone who doesn't just think you're important so much as she thinks you're the entire world. Someone who'd even believe that you'd become a famous writer. You knew that when you brought it up, didn't you?” Forsaken: “What? No-- she's different. She's just a weird stalker.” Jiku Neon: “She does some weird things. But she'd do anything for you. She does everything she does for you as it is. I've never heard a sentence out of her mouth that didn't have something to do with you. I've never seen her so much as cast a fleeting glance towards anyone but you. She lives in a world populated by two people. You and her. You know this. That's why you tried not to hurt her feelings, not because it'd make it weird between you or because you're scared she'd freak out. You just want to protect her from stuff like that. Stuff that'd make her cry.” Forsaken: “I... I never really thought about it.” Jiku Neon: “Well, I come her to think. Maybe you should try your hand at it.” Jiku Neon: “Jiku. What are you doing? You're telling him to think about another girl. You're telling him to think more about the girl you're already seeing on green shift. You're telling him all the reasons she's better than you for him. Why?” Jiku Neon: “...because you believe it?” Jiku Neon: “Well?” Forsaken: “Maybe somewhere in the back of my head I always knew. I used to think that maybe she'd grow out of it, but now I don't really know what I'd do if she did. I'd miss her, probably.” Jiku Neon: “Anything else?” Forsaken: “I think... I didn't kiss you because she was watching. I didn't want to say it because I didn't want to ruin things between us, you're my best friend, you're the only one who really seems to get me. But...” Jiku Neon: “So you choose her?” Forsaken: “Jiku, you're... just amazing. You may not get it yet, but you just are. Everything you do surprises me, makes me wonder what I'm doing with my life, makes me think about the world at large, makes me want to follow my dreams and make a difference.” Jiku Neon: “But in the end, when I say 'I love you,' you say, 'I respect you.'” “You can't see yourself with me and that doesn't change.” Forsaken: “Don't make it sound like I never think about it. But you want me. You're strong enough to get over me. What do you think will happen to her if someone pulls her out of that weird world of hers?” Jiku Neon: “She'd die.” Forsaken: “I think so too.” Jiku Neon: “But you do love her. You don't just worry for her?” Forsaken: “She might be annoying and weird and creepy and at times scary, but yeah. I like you, I like you the best of every person on the planet. But I love her. You make the world a bright place I want to see. She's the one I want to see it with.” Jiku Neon: “So that's how you feel?” Forsaken: “I'm sorry.” Jiku Neon: “No... don't be sorry. I wanted this. I wanted you to work this out. I wanted you to tell me. I didn't want to pretend or get fooled. But I didn't want to get in the way either. I love you, so I want what's best for you, what will make you the happiest. So be happy, it'll make it easier for me to move on.” Forsaken: “...” Jiku Neon: “...” “It doesn't hurt anymore.” GAME OVER
Oh my goodness, oh my gosh,. aishfoaf iog aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhhhhhhhhhhThis is the greatest thing that's ever happened too many feelings for an intelligent reply afjihhhhh
