Search Results

  1. Laurence_Fox
    Yeah...

    Might be a little...not tonight.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 11, 2008, 1 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  2. Laurence_Fox
    How's it goin?
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 9, 2008, 10 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  3. Laurence_Fox
    Thread

    MSN convos

    They're nice when I'm here to take part of them.

    Not so much when I'm away from the computer and in class.

    You know who this is directed to.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 7, 2008, 2 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  4. Laurence_Fox
    http://z0r.de/?id=421

    AK-47 spin.

    Why doesn't it have a counter?
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 6, 2008, 0 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  5. Laurence_Fox
    http://z0r.de/?id=702

    N O B O D Y gets out A L I V E

    ...

    Unless of course you appease me with cookies and cakes. :3
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 3, 2008, 1 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  6. Laurence_Fox
    After a long and cookie filled talk with CtR, I have decided to stay on KHV.

    Thank you for those who replied to my 'Departure Thread'. It was false. I never intended to leave the site. Forgive me for deceiving you. Thank you Kitty, Splitty, and whoever replied on that thread.

    Kitty, Vivi, and Forsaken were in on the ruse. I had intended to do it for the lulz but those replies were enough to convince me that I had indeed made myself a little niche in this forum. Even if I don't make it to staff, which is my goal one day, I'll still have made friends and had some great times.

    That's right. My Reich won't end here. You all get to enjoy having your Nazi around still.

    Grammar challenged, the ignorant, and newbs/nubs beware. :3

    ~Laurence_Fox
    Prämienmitglied​
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 1, 2008, 12 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  7. Laurence_Fox
    Thread

    I'm out.

    Dear KHV staff, premiums, members, and newbs/noobs,

    After long moments of deliberation, your resident Nazi has decided to up and leave this forum called KHV.

    There were tons of lulz worthy moments that I was glad I had the opportunity to share with you. Calling out the rpers on their atrocious grammar, the various troll attacks by Boris and his cronies, the old spammy Evolution vs Religion thread where I kept bashing the Christians and their lack of evidence God snapped his fingers and everything was as we see it today, and lots of other lol-worthy moments(usually involving Roxas, Alice, or Xaldin).

    But why am I leaving? I feel the site has changed too much for my liking. No I'm not *****ing about the negative feeling. I would hate if this site turned into one of those horrible little Christian day camps with flowers and hugs and smores all over the place. KHV is a great community all in all but since I joined in 2006 the site has completely changed.

    Staff has come and gone. Heck when I was here shadowjak wasn't even staff and Vivi, or should I say Shikamaru's Shadow, was a lowly FH. Cin and Darky were Admins, Deathspank still made an occasional post, premiums were still orange.

    Now shadowjak is a sectional mod, Vivi is a regular member, Cin and Darky are premium...and pink I might add. Not to mention shadowjak has me blocked from his MSN, the *******. =/ Deathspank has turned over the forum to new management and all of this is just too much of a change for this old German soul to take.

    I am glad you enjoyed Twin Cynics and I am sorry I was not able to complete Spam Eater before this change of heart came about. I really should be focusing more on my Academics and maybe, just maybe finding a job...if I get the motivation to.

    I'll still appear every once in awhile to hound the new members, check up on KHVR, and to maybe post Spam Eater.

    Thank you for making these 2 years great guys. I'll be seeing you around.

    Langes Lebendes Deutschland!

    ~Laurence_Fox
    Prämienmitglied​
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 1, 2008, 7 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  8. Laurence_Fox
    Thread

    Insane Driver

    Rated PG for car abuse. You have been warned.



    No I don't know the guy but it makes me laugh so hard.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Feb 1, 2008, 5 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  9. Laurence_Fox
    I took this when I went to her town for a wee visit the other day.

    Kitty
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 31, 2008, 12 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  10. Laurence_Fox
    or trying to.

    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 29, 2008, 1 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  11. Laurence_Fox
    Cast
    Part 1

    Okay so here's part 2 where yours truly makes an entrance. Other stuff happens so go and read.

    .~+~.
    When last we left our hero, Spike was heading North to rescue the scientist Soushirei in Soviet territory. Let's join him.​

    Spike crouches down in some tall grass and removes his binoculars to observe some soldiers up ahead. He also has his radio switched on.

    Spike: Major, I've spotted two enemy soldiers.

    Major Tom(DA): They're probably KGB troops sent to guard Soushirei.

    Spike: AK-47s and grenades.

    Major Tom(DA): Snake, your presence in Soviet territory is already a violation of international law. We can't let the Kremlin find out that the CIA and the American government are involved. Contact with the enemy is strictly prohibited. Don't engage them in battle, either. This is a stealth mission. Got that?

    The Boss(Mish): The major is right. The point of this mission is to sneak through the jungle without being seen. The success of the mission depends on how well you use your camouflage. Change your camouflage by selecting "CAMOFLAUGE" from the Survival Viewer. The "UNIFORM" option lets you pick your uniform, while the "FACE" option lets you change you face paint. Choosing camouflage that blends in with your surroundings will help you conceal yourself more effectively. Also don't forget that anything that moves will stand out in the jungle. If you just stand up and run around like an idiot, you're bound to be spotted. But if you crawl instead, you should be able to sneak by without being noticed. You can see how effective your camouflage is by looking at the Camo Index. The Camo Index shows how well your current camouflage blends in with the surrounding area. The higher the value, the harder you are to spot, and vice versa. The key is to make yourself one with nature. Keep that in mind as you go along, OK?

    Spike crawls by the soldiers. Throwing a snake to distract one before point a gun on one of them to get items from him. The other one is knocked out and dragged to an area of grass. A few more soldiers are encountered but Spike deals with him in mostly the same way as the first. Finding thermal goggles in a fallen log.

    Spike soon comes to a small bridge guarded by solders. No way past them but he quickly spies a hornet's nest which he shoots down. Causing the soldiers to run. Spike crosses the bridge.

    Spike soon finds the abandoned factory where he switches his radio on.


    Spike: Major, I've reached the abandoned factory where Soushirei is supposedly being held. This place is a dump. I can't see Soushirei from here. The security is pretty tight. There are sentries posted around the perimeter. I wonder how many are inside.

    Major Tom(DA): Your objective - Soushirei - is inside the factory...they should be holding him in a room in the northeast section.

    Spike: The northeast section. Got it.

    Major Tom(DA): Be careful. Your mission is to bring Soushirei back alive. He must not be exposed to any kind of danger. Do not approach Soushirei while in the Alert Phase. And one more thing, Snake.

    Spike: You mean there's more?

    Major Tom(DA): No...it's just...when you get to Soushirei, I want you to tell him something from me.

    Spike: And that is?

    Major Tom(DA): "Sorry for being so late."

    Spike: is that all?

    Major Tom(DA): Yes.

    Spike ends the call and proceeds into the factory to make sure he is not seen. He tranqs each of the KGB guards making his way northeast in the process. He places the bodies in tall grass and behind boxes so they won't draw attention.

    He eases open a door to where Soushirei is. Soushirei is burning what looks like blueprints to something.


    Spike: You must be Soushirei.

    Soushirei: Are you one of Libregkd's men!? He burns the rest of the blueprints. You'll never get it from me!

    Spike: No. I'm a CIA agent. I've come to escort you back to the other side of the Iron Curtain.

    Soush: You're CIA?

    Spike: I know I don't look like much but...yeah. I was sent by Major Zero, the man who got you out two years ago.

    Soush: Zero...

    Spike: I have a message from him.

    Soush: What is it?

    Spike: He said to tell you "Sorry for being so late."

    Soush: Did he now..

    Spike: What does it mean?

    Soush: It means he's a man of his word. But we've got no time for this. You've got to get me out of here before they arrive!

    Spike: Who's "they"?

    Soush: Colonel Libregkd of GRU. You in the West know him as Thunderbolt.

    Spike: Thunderbolt? Never heard of him.

    Soush: He's a member of the army's extremist faction. A man who seeks to seize control of the motherland. Ever since the Cuban Missile Crisis two years ago. The Soviets have been pursing a policy of peaceful coexistecne with the West. Despite resistance and criticism from hawks in the army and the provincial authorities. The Soviets have managed to suppress the opposition so far. But the failure of agriculture policies has put them in a precarious position. And on top of that, the tragedy last November.

    Spike: President Deathspank's assassination...

    Soush: Precisely. In a sense, the Soviets had lost their biggest partner and their power base is rapidly crumbling away. A certain group is plotting to use this opportunity to seize power by rallying the anti-government forces overthrowing the government. The mastermind behind this plot is Colonel Libregkd of the GRU. He has control over another secret weapons research facility much like this one - OKB-812 known as Repliku Design Bureau - and is using it to further his plans. But that is not enough to satisfy him. Now he is plotting to seize the secret weapon I have been developing here and use it as leverage in his bid for power. The intelligence says that they are going to make their move during the test.

    Spike: Then...the soldiers outside...

    Soush: Exactly. They wouldn't need that many men just to keep me inside. So long as I get my Wii and Brawl...oh wait...wrong time period. Their orders were to prevent Colonel Libregkd from capturing me. Even if it meant killing me in the process or so it would seem. Libregkd will come. I am sure of it. You must get me out of here before then.

    Spike: Leave it to me.

    Soush: By the way, your Russian is superb. Where did you learn to speak it?

    Spike: From my mentor.

    Soush: Is that so. America is truly a frightening country.

    Spike: Gives Soush a light pat on the shoulder Having second thoughts?

    Soush: No. I have no love for this place. Let's go.

    Spike turns his radio on after that to contact DA.

    Spike: Major, this is Snake. Soushirei is safe with me. He's doing fine. No injuries.

    Major Tom(DA): Good work, Snake. Now hurry up and get Soushirei to the recovery point! We'll rendezvous with you there.

    Spike: Roger.

    Major Tom(DA): What about the sentries?

    Spike: Pause. I had to kill them...there was no other way. But no one will know we were involved.

    Major Tom(DA): I see.

    Spike: What about The Boss?

    Major Tom(DA): We lost contact with The Boss some time ago.

    Spike: What happened?

    Major Tom(DA): It's probably just a weak signal. Just hurry and get Soushirei out of there.

    Spike switches his radio off and starts to escort Soushirei out of the room. Soushirei follows keeping cover with direction from Spike. Soushirei appears to know some sort of martial arts from how he stands. But they're being watched.

    KGB Soldier: Freeze!

    And like that, the KGB surround the pair. But aid is about to come from an unlikely source.

    ???: So this is the legendary Boss?

    The sound of jingling spurs announces the newcomer's arrival as well as the spinning of a small gun about one crimson clad finger. The newcomer is clad in a sort of black uniform.

    ???: We meet at last.

    KGB soldier: You...you're from the Ocelot unit of Spetsnaz! What's a GRU soldier doing here?

    The newcomer holsters the gun to make some sort of two fingered gesture at the KGB soldier.

    ???: Soldier? He adjusts the red beret on his head.

    KGB soldier: He's the Ocelot commander!

    ???: Ha! That's Major Ocelot to you. And don't you forget it!

    KGB soldier: Soushirei is ours. Now get out of here.

    Major Ocelot(LF): An ocelot never lets his prey escape.

    KGB soldier: What?

    Ocelot draws his gun causing Spike and Soushirei to duck for cover. He proceeds to take out each of the KGB soldiers that had surrounded Spike and Soushirei earlier. Using an impressive ricochet move on the last one.

    He approached one of the soldiers that are still alive and shoots him point blank Using a boot to roll the body off of his hat. He picks it up and hits it against his thigh to get rid of the dirt on it before placing it back on his head.

    Ocelot(LF): I can't say it feels good to kill a comrade, even if it is for the GRU.

    Spike: Soushirei take cover.

    Soushirei sees no reason to argue and flees. meanwhile, Ocelot seems to think something is not right.

    Ocelot(LF): Hmm...you're not The Boss, are you?

    Ocelot turns before letting loose a loud meow. Soon enough, a number of black clad forms appear from out of the jungle and from the surrounding ruins. This is Major Ocelot's unit...so to speak.

    Soushirei: GRU Operatives...

    Ocelot holds up a hand, a signal to his fellow ocelots to hold fire.

    Ocelot(LF): What is that stance? Ha..that gun? He starts laughing which the rest of the ocelots join in on. If you're not The Boss...then die!

    His gun proceeds to jam which Spike picks up on sending Ocelot swiftly to the ground using CQC. Spike disarms Ocelot as Soushirei runs into the jungle.

    Ocelot soldier: Major!

    Ocelot(LF): Leave him. Shoot the other one! And get him off me!

    Spike takes out the rest of the Ocelot's using his tranquilizer gun and CQC. Spike turns his attention back to the Major who once again gets pwn't by CQC to the ground. The bullet discharges from his gun

    Ocelot(LF): Impossible...

    Spike: You ejected the first bullet by hand didn't you? I see what you were trying to do. But testing a technique you've only heard about in the middle of battle wasn't very smart. You were asking to have your gun jam on you. Besides, I don't think you're cut out for an automatic in the first place.

    Ocelot's gaze is rather blurry. Like DA after a bender talking to a large duck called Lisbeth.

    Spike: You tend to twist your elbow to absorb the recoil. That's more of a revolver technique.

    Ocelot(LF): Midly indignant You..filthy American dog!

    He draws a knife from his belt before getting up to attack Spike. Who punches him in the ribcage then hits him on the back of the neck with the hilt of his gun. Then a grab issued to the shoulder would result in the Ocelot commander on his back in the dirt for the third time.

    Spike: But that was some fancy shooting... you're pretty good.

    A crimson glove grabs onto Spike's wrist. The other hand raises into that two fingered gesture again toward Spike.

    Ocelot(LF): Pretty good... Ocelot than finally passes out.

    Spike turns on his radio to contact the Major.

    Spike: Ground control to Major Tom?

    Major Tom(DA): You're a real comedian. Lisbeth didn't even laugh.

    Spike: Who? Have you been drinking?

    Major Tom(DA): No. Anyway, are you all right?

    Spike: I've run into a few snags. These guys were after Soushirei, too. Apparent they were taking orders from a GRU colonel named Libregkd.

    Major Tom(DA): A GRU colonel?

    Spike: Part of an internal Soviet power struggle, according to Sokolov. Something between KGB and GRU.

    Major Tom(DA): Soushirei was being guarded by the KGB and hunted by GRU? Snake, it sounds like this could be even hotter than Cuba.

    Spike: I don't like it. Something about the whole thing stinks.

    Major Tom(DA): I agree. You'd better hurry.

    Spike: Soushirei ran off by himself. But I'll catch up to him.

    Major Tom(DA): We're counting on you.

    Spike turns off the radio and continues into the jungle to look for Soushirei once again. Leaving the Ocelot commander and his soldiers unconscious for the present moment.

    He finds Soushirei by the bridge he encountered earlier.


    Spike: You okay?

    Soush: Those men were from the Ocelot unit.

    Spike: Spetsnaz?

    Soush: Yes. The best GRU has to offer. They're coming for me. I'm finished!

    Spike: Calm down. I'll get you out of here. I promise. And we've got some of the best backup we could ask for.

    A large explosion draws their attention. Soushirei points off to something causing Spike to look. A large machine is seen perched on a cliff upriver.

    Spike: That's what they were making you build? Mentally: I'm screwed. T-T

    Soushirei: Yes. The Shagohad - "The Treading Behemoth" - a tank capable of launching nuclear IRBMs.

    Spike: It can launch nuclear missiles from that kind of terrain? Mentally: I am so screwed.

    Soush: Oh yes. And without support from friendly units.

    Spike: A nuclear-equipped tank capable of operating solo. Mentally: Someone shoot me now please? is that thing finished?

    Soush: No, this is only the end of Phase 1. It won't be truly finished until we complete Phase 2.

    Spike: Phase 2?

    Soush: The weapon's true form. If it is completed and the colonel gets his hands on it it will mean the end of the Cold War.

    Spike: Well there's some good news.


    Soush: Then the age of fear will truly begin...

    Spike: A world war?

    Soush: I had no choice but to cooperate! I didn't want to die. I wanted to see my wife and child again America. Please, take me to America, quickly. They cannot complete it without my help!

    Spike: Got it. Let's go!

    Spike draws his gun and knife and starts to lead Soushirei to the rendezvous point. Will they make it?
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 26, 2008, 6 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  12. Laurence_Fox
    Cast

    Pardon me for making this posted so late but school started and I've been in a petty pisspoor mood since it has.

    Oh well...

    They're going to be rather long segments and the way I did the names here is rather strange. Since they're all codenames I put those first and then the username of who that person is represented by. Oh you'll figure it out.


    .~+~.


    After the end of the server change, the forum known as KH-Vids was split into two -- East and West. This marked the beginning of a Cold War.​

    5:30 AM. August 24th, 1964. Over Soviet Airspace

    Pilot 1: Flying over Pakistan altitude 30,000 feet. Approaching Soviet airspace.

    Behind the pilot, another person is seated in the plane appearing to smoke a cigar.

    Pilo 1t: 20 minutes to dropoff. Commencing internal depressurization. Equipment check.

    Another figure is sighted. That of a woman.

    Pilot 1: Arm main parachute.

    A man with a distinctive British Accent speaks next.

    British Man: Alright, are you ready to go?

    Pilot 1: Drop zone still showing a high pressure mass. CAVOK (Cloud and Visibility OK)

    British Man: Good, we've got high visibility.


    Pilot 2: Connecting oxygen hose to interior connector. Put on your mask. He appears to take stock of the man with the cigar. Does this pantywaist know what he's doing?

    Pilot 1: Approaching release point...ten minutes to dropoff.

    British Man: Hey! Are you deaf? He said put out the cigar and put on your mask.

    Pilot 1: Depressurization complete. Checking oxygen supply.

    Pilot 2: Six minutes to dropoff! Opening rear hatch!

    The hatch opens bringing light into the otherwise dark plane. It is a sunrise.

    British man: You'll be falling at 130 miles per hour. Try not to get frostbite from the windchill. This is one for the history books. The world's first HALO jump...and no I'm not making this up.

    The man approaches the rear of the plane preparing to jump.

    British man: Spread your wings and fly! God be with you! Man that was cheesy...

    The man jumps from the plane. Leaning into a swift dive into Soviet controlled territory.

    Begin Flashback

    British man: Spike, I've got some important news. The head of the CIA hs finally given us the green light for the virtuous mission.

    Spike: Virtual Mission?

    British Man: annoyed No, the Virtuous Mission. The future of our FOX unit depends on it. It it succeeds, we'll be officially organized into a unit.

    Spike: Virtuous Mission? Sounds like some kind of initiation ritual.

    British man: Don't get cocky on us now. This ain't a training op here.

    Spike: So what exactly is this wonderful mission?

    British man: Well...about 2 years ago, a certain Soviet scientist requested asylum in our new server, aka the West, through one of our moles.

    Spike: Mo-le mo-le mo-le!

    British: Very funny. Now don't interrupt. His name is Soushirei. He's head of the OKB-754 Design Bureau, one of the Soviets' top-secret weapon facilities and the East's foremost expert on weapons development.

    Spike: If it's top secret...how do we know about it? But isn't he that famous rocket scientist?

    British man: The very same. On April 12, 1961, the Soviets achieved the first manned flight in history.

    Spike: The Earth was blue. But there was no God.

    British man: You see that on a fortune cookie? The rocket that carried Yuri Gagarin into orbit was the A1. Known as the Vostok rocket. Soushirei is said to be the man most responsible for the multi-engine cluster used in that rocket.

    Spike: Are you reading this on Wikipedia?

    British: Wikipedia doesn't exist in Cold War era. I know all this. Anyway, after Gagarin's flight, Soushirei left rocket development to become the head of the newly established Design Bureau.

    Spike: From a lowly technician to head of a design bureau. UPGRADE. That's quite a promotion. So why'd he want to defect?

    British man: It seems he'd become afraid of his own creations.

    Spike: Afraid?

    British man: Call it a crisis of conscience. Or it could have been that Alice bot he tried to make. I don't remember.

    Spike: And for that, he left his country and his family behind and hopped the fence?

    British man: Not really. One of his conditions was that his family was also to be taken safely to the West. We used a mole to get the family out first and succeeded in sneaking Soushirei over the Berlin Wall shortly afterwards. I was the one who conducted the operation.

    Spike: The security on the eastern side was still full of holes back then. Then what?

    British Man: We got Sokolov over in one piece but the whole ordeal had left him exhausted and we checked him into a hospital in West Berlin. It took him two weeks and more than 600 miles to get from the reseach facility in the Soviet Union to Berlin. He was in no condition to say anything coherent. And it was only a week later that we had something much bigger on our hands.

    Spike: The Cuban Missile Crisis right?

    British Man: October 16, 1962. Deathspank received word that the Soviets were in the process of deploying intermediate-range ballistic missiles in Cuba. The President demanded that the Soviets dismantle and remove the missiles. At the same time, he announced a naval blockade to prevent further missile shipments from reaching Cuba. But the Soviets didn't back down instead placing their armed forces on secondary alert. Soviet transport ships carrying missiles continued on course toward Cuba. U.S and Soviet forces went on alert for an all-out nuclear war. Frantic negotiations were conducted through the UN's Emergency Security Council and unoffical channels to end the hair-trigger standoff. Finally, on October 28th, the Soviet Union agreed to remove its missiles from Cuba. And so the world avoided a nuclear holocaust...but in order for the Soviets to get their missiles out we had to make a deal.

    Spike: You mean the one where the U.S agreed to remove its IRBMs from Turkey?

    British Man: No. The Jupiter IRBMs deployed in Turkey were obsolete and we were going to get rid of them anyway. They had no strategic value whatsoever to either the U.S or the Russians. The Turkey deal was a ruse - a cover story that was fed to the other intelligence agencies around the world.

    Spike: So what did they really want?

    British man: Soushirei. They wanted us to return Soushirei.

    Spike: You mean the Soviets pulled out of Cuba just to get their hands on Sokolov?

    British Man: That's right.

    Spike: What the hell was he working on?

    British man: At the time, we had no idea. We were running out of time. It was either give up Soushirei or risk a full-scale nuclear war. In the end we had no choice. Deathspank gave in to the Soviets' demand. The next day, I got Soushirei out of the hospital and handed him over to the agents on the eastern side. Soushirei kept on screaming "Save me!"until he disappeared from my sight. Then, a month ago we received some new information from one of our moles.

    Spike: About Soushirei?

    British man: Yes. He was taken back to the research facility and forced to continue working on the weapon in question under KGB supervision. What's more, it's on the verge of completion.

    Spike: So? What kind of weapon is it? Something to do with space rockets?

    British man: No, missiles.

    Spike: Same technology.

    British man: I suppose you're right. We don't know the details but it appears to be a new kind of nuclear device. For half a year now, the Soviets have been conducting frequent nuclear tests.

    Spike: Something to do with the weapon I assume.

    British man: We're talking about a secret weapon so big that the Soviets were ready to pull out of Cuba to get it back.

    Spike: Is Soushirei still in the facility?

    British Man: According to our intelligence he's in Tselinoyarsk.

    Spike: Where?

    British man: Tselinoyarsk.

    Spike: Scene of the great vowel rebellion.

    British man: Would you stop? Tselinoyarsk is a place in the mountains about 3 miles to the west that's known as the "Virgin Cliffs".

    Spike: Hmm...The Virgin Cliffs. Nice name for a Virtuous Mission.

    British man: They movied him there just recently.

    Spike: Why?

    British man: Apparently they're conducting a field test of the weapon. But it's our best chance to get him back. This mission would never have been possible if he were still at the research facility. This is our last chance so don't **** it up. Soushirei must have known that too when he contacted us.

    End Flashback as Spike continues his HALO jump into Soviet territory.

    British Man: Listen up, Spike. Your mission is to infiltrate Tselinoyarsk in the Soviet mountains, ensure the safety of Soushirei, and bring him bac to the West. If we don't get Soushirei back before that weapon is complete we'll be facing a major crisis. The clock is ticking.

    At that point, Spike opens up his parachute to float safely down to the ground.

    British man: Once we've confirmed the rescue of Soushirei, stand by at the recovery point. A recovery balloon will be dropped at that point. Helium will be pumped into the balloon to inflate it. The process takes about 20 minutes. Once it's complete, the gunship's arm will latch onto the balloon and pull it up.

    Spike: The Fulton Surface-To-Air Recovery System. I'm familiar with the theory.

    British Man: Take it easy. It's been combat-proven.

    Spike: Do you think Soushirei's up to it?

    British man: The shock will be less than during a parachute jump and the arm can handle up to 500 pounds.

    Spike: So you're planning going over the border in a single Combat Talon?

    British man: She's equipped with two 6-barrel 20 millimeter Vulcan cannons as well as two 40 millimeter machine guns.

    Spike: Sounds like she could hold her own against a battalion of tanks.

    British man: Even with the fuel in the reserve tank, we're facing a 4-hour time limit. If all goes well, it shouldn't take more than a few hours.

    Spike: Home in time for dinner.

    British man: But if anything goes wrong. You'll be eating dinner, breakfast, and all the rest of your meals in the jungle.

    Spike descends into the canopy of a Russian jungle, losing his backpack on the way. He releases the parachute and lands on terra firma. He pulls off his mask to reveal...a rather feminine looking face. He quickly receives a call over his radio.

    British man: Do you copy? You're already in enemy territory, and somebody might be listening in. From here on out, we'll be using code names to refer to each other. You're codename will be Naked Snake. I'll be referring to you as Snake from now on. You are not to mention your real name.

    Spike: "Snake"?

    British Man: You don't like snakes?

    Spike: What do you mean?

    British man: You've eaten one before, haven't you?

    Spike: In survival training.

    British Man: Snickers. I'm glad to hear that.

    Spike: I don't know if I'd ever order one in a restaurant, but...

    British man: Be careful, You might not have a choice.

    Spike: What about you, Major? What should I call you?

    British Man: Hmm, let's see...I'll be... I'll be Tom. Call me Major Tom. Oh and Snake...

    Spike: Yeah?

    Major Tom(DarkAndroid): The crew isn't watching anymore. You can take off the disguise now.

    Spike: Good idea. This isn't right. Time for the snake to shed his skin.

    Spike ends the call to pull the effeminate mask off. Since we chose the 'I like MGS2!' option at start. He looks about his surroundings before ducking behind a tree.

    Spike: Ground control to Major Tom. This is Snake. Kept you waiting huh?

    Major Tom(DarkAndroid): This will be a sneaking mission. You must not be seen by the enemy. You must leave no trace of your presence. Is that clear? This kind of inflitration is the FOX unit's specialty. In other words, weapons and equipment are procure on-site...that goes for food as well. You're completely naked, just as your name implies.

    Spike: Great, Now I can see why you asked me if I like snakes. I suppose calling me "Snake" was your idea of a joke too.

    Major Tom(DarkAndroid): No, there's a good reason for that. I'll tell you later, when the time is right.

    Spike: Gotcha. Getting back to the subject, how exactly am I supposed to feed myself?

    Major Tom(DarkAndroid): You've been given a knife and a tranquilizer gun. Use them to hunt for food. You'll also find some medical supplies in your backpack.

    Spike: Sheepish Yeah, about the backpack...I lost it in a tree on the way down.

    Major Tom(DarkAndroid): I see. Well, you'd better go back and get it, then. Do you know where is it?

    Spike: No problem. I can see it from here. It's stuck on a branch...

    Major Tom(DarkAndroid): To climb a treem stand in front of a tree that's covered in ivy and press the Action button. I'll be monitoring your progress over the radio. We can't risk violating Soviet airspace, but I'll be in the gunship. My frequency is 140.85. I'll give you a CALL if I need to talk to you. If you need to talk to me use the SEND function. OK, Snake. Go get your backpack.

    Spike proceeds to slide down a nearby hill toward the tree where his backpack got snared on. He climbs up to the limb, walks out then plucks the backup up.

    Major Tom(DA): I see you've retreived your backpack, Snake. To equip a weapon it is necessary to take it out of your backpack. In the Survival Viewer, choose "WEAPON" from the "BACKPACK." Your available weapons will be displayed in a window in the upper-left. From that list, choose the weapon you want to equip and press the Enter button. For other equipped items, just do the same thing from "ITEM".

    Spike: Got it! Use the Survival Viewer "BACKPACK".

    Major Tom(DA): Yep, that's right. Survival is funadamental to this mission. After you've been out in the field for a while, your stamina will start to drop. If your stamina gets too low, it'll affect your performance. You won't be able to shoot acuurately, for example, and your wounds won't heal as smoothly. Keep an eye on your stamina so you don't run out. To recover lost stamina, you can hunt for local flora and fauna. You can use either your tranquilizer gun or your knife to hunt.

    Spike: My only weapon is a Mk22 Hush Puppy tranquilizer gun?

    Major Tom(DA): That's right. It's been fitted with its own suppressor. How ever, the suppressor will deteriorate every time you fire. Once it's durability reaches zero, the noise suppression effect will be gone. So don't get too trigger happy with it. The suppressor's durability is shown in the icon. Any weapons and equipment beyond what you're carrying now, you'll have to find as you go.

    Spike: I have to find my own weapons and equipment? Whose crazy idea was this, anyway?

    Major Tom(DA): Lisbeth thought it up. I mean...Solo covert actions are standard FOX operating procedure. You can't leave any traces of your presence. No weapons, equipment, footprints, sweat, or bodily wastes - the same goes for bullets and cartdriges, too. Your presence in enemy territory is already a violation of international conventions of welfare. There aren't supposed to be any American soldiers in Russia. It could spark an international incident. You can't let anyone see you. You can't let the enemy know you're there. This is a stealth mission. You're a ghost, Snake, in every sense of the word. There'll be know rescue if you're captured. The military and the U.S government will deny any involvement in the affair.

    Spike: Then I'll just have to take care of myself, huh.

    Major Tom(DA): I'm afraid so. You've been given a "Fake death" pill for that purpose. SIS guidelines stipulate that soldiers on covert ops like this one, be issued a potassium cyanide capsule. Tape it to your body, so you can take it when you need to.

    Spike: How generous of you.

    Major Tom(DA): Use it if you're taken prisoner by the enemy. It'll send you into a state of false death for a short time.

    Spike: ...fooling them into thinking I'm really dead. So how do I come back to life?

    Major Tom(DA): Just take the revival pill.

    Spike: You mean that thing they put in my tooth before the mission?

    Major Tom(DA): That's the one. But be careful. If you remain in a state of false death for too long, nothing will be able to bring you back. Remember that.

    Spike: I'll keep it in mind. You said this was a solo mission, right?

    Major Tom(DA): Right.

    Spike: I guess that means I can't count on any reinforcements

    Major Tom(DA): Correct. The mission rests entirely in your hands.

    Spike: A real one-man army.

    Major Tom(DA): Relax, there's a support team ready to back you up over the radio. I'll introduce them to you. This time, survival is of utmost importance. The first member of the support team will be in charge of monitoring your physical condition - acting as a medic so to speak, as well as recording your mission data. She's a member of FOX as well, and she's here on the gunship with me.

    Spike: *Perks* "She"?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): Hello, Snake, I'm Para-Medic. Nice to meet you.

    Spike: Para...Medic?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): As in a medic who comes in by parachute. What did you expect?

    Spike: Aren't you going to tell me your real name?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): Are you going to tell me yours, Mr. Snake?

    Spike: my name, huh...it's John Doe.

    Para-Medic(Rosey): And they call you Jack for short? You're a regular Captain Nemo.

    Spike: Lucky fin?

    Para-Medic: No no...CAPTAIN Nemo not FINDING Nemo.

    Spike: Well...a name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name. What's your name?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): Jane Doe.

    Spike: Faceplant Very funny.

    Para-Medic(Rosey): I wasn't joking, but I'll tell you my name only if you manage to make it back alive. my frequency is 145.73.

    Major Tom(DA): She's also in charge of recording your mission data. Whenever you want to SAVE, SEND a message over the reserved SAVE frequency, 140.96.

    Spike: So saving lets me record my mission data?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): That's right. It also records the state of your health.

    Spike: Good to know.

    Major Tom(DA): There's one more person I want to introduce you to, Snake.

    Spike: Huh?

    Major Tom(DA): Speaking of snakes, you remember The Boss, don't you? A legendary soldier, and your mentor. Actually, it was The Boss that got the DCI's authorization in the first place. She's going to be serving as FOX's mission advisor.

    Spike: The Boss is?

    Major Tom(DA): She also helped me plan this mission. She and I were at SAS together.

    The Boss(Mish): Spike, is that you? How many years has it been?

    Spike: Jaw drops. Boss??

    The Boss(Mish): That's right, it's me. Talk to me. Let me hear your voice. (I'd say something at this point. But she'd likely hurt me.)

    Spike: It's been 5 years, 72 days, and 18 hours. T-T

    The Boss(Mish): You've lost weight.

    Spike: You can tell just by the sound of my voice? oO;

    The Boss(Mish): Of course I can. I know ALLLLL about you.

    Spike: Really. Well I don't know anything about you.

    The Boss(Mish): What's that supposed to mean?

    Spike: Why did you disappear on me?

    The Boss(Mish): I was on a top-secret mission. You didn't need me anymore.

    Spike: But there were still so many things I wanted you to teach me.

    The Boss(Mish): No. I taught you everything you needed to know about fighting techniques. I taught you all I could. The rest you needed to lean on your own.

    Spike: Techniques, sure. But what about how to think like a soldier?

    The Boss(Mish): How to think like a soldier? I can't teach you that. Srsly, gtfo. A soldier needs to be strong in spirit, body, and technique - and the only thing you can learn from someone else is technique. In fact, technique doesn't even matter. What's most important is spirit. Spirit and body are like two sides of a single coin. They're the same thing. I can't teach you how to think. You'll just have to figure it out for yourself. Listen to me Spike. Just because soldiers are on the same side righy now, doesn't mean they always will be. Having personal feelings about your comrades is one of the worst sins you can commit. Politics determine who you will face on the battlefield. And politics are a living thing. They change along with the times. Yesterday's good might be tomorrow's evil.

    Spike: Is that why you abandoned me?

    The Boss(Mish): No. It had nothing to do with you. I already told you, Spike. I was on a top-secret mission. A soldier has to follow whatever orders he's given. It's not his place to question why. But you're looking for a reason to fight. You're a natural born fighter, but you're not quite a soldier. A soldier is a political tool, nothing more. That's doubly true if he's a coareer soldier. Right and wrong have no place in his mission. He has no enemies and no friends. Only the mission. You follow the orders you're given. That's what being a soldier is.

    Spike: I do whatever I have to do to get the job done. I don't think about politics.

    The Boss(Mish): That's not the same thing. Sooner or later, your conscience is going to bother you. In the end, you'll have to choose wether you're going to live as a soldier, or just another man with a gun. There's a saying in the Orient: 'Loyalty to the end." Do you know what it means?

    Spike: being...patriotic?

    The Boss(Mish): It means devoting yourself to your country.

    Spike: I follow the President and the top brass. I'm ready to die for them if necessary.

    The Boss(Mish): The President and the top brass won't be there forever. Once their terms are up, others will take their place.

    Spike: I follow the will of the leader, no matter who's in charge.

    The Boss(Mish): People aren't the ones who dictate the missions.

    Spike: Then who does?

    The Boss(Mish): The times. People's values change over time. And so do the leaders of a country. So there's no such thing as an enemy in absolute terms. The enemies we fight are only enemies in relative terms, constantly changing with the times. As long as we have "loyalty to the end", there's no point in believing in anything... even those we love.

    Spike: And that's the way a soldier's supposed to think?

    The Boss(Mish): The only thing we can believe in with absolute certainty...is the mission, Spike.

    Spike: Alright, but do me a favor.

    The Boss(Mish): What is it?

    Spike: Call me Snake.

    The Boss(Mish): Snake? Oh, right, your code name is Snake. It suits you well.

    Major Tom(DA): That's right. The legendary unit that The Boss put together during World War II was a snake. The Cobra Unit...a group of heroes that brought the war to an end and saved the world. As long as you got a legendary hero backing you up, you'll be fine. Isn't that right, Snake?

    Spike: Yeah. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have with me. Oh and more thing, Boss...

    The Boss(Mish): Yes?

    Spike: it's good to hear your voice again.

    The Boss(Mish): Same here. After all, who knows if either of us will make it out alive... Snake, you were always best at urban warfare and inflitrating buildings. But this is the jungle. Survival is going ot be the key. Those CQC techniques I taught you are sure to come in handy.

    Spike: CQC - Close Quarters Combat, huh... I've been in the Green Berets for the past few years. I'm probably pretty rusty.

    The Boss(Mish): Not to worry. I'll be here to help you remember. You newbie. After all, this is your first actual survival mission. I'll be supporting you over the radio.

    Spike: Where are you Boss? Next to the major?

    Major Tom(DA): The Boss is communicating with us by radio from aboad a Permit-class submarine in the Arctic Ocean.

    The Boss(Mish): My freqeunce is 141.80. Call me if you need my advice on battle techniques.

    Spike: Gotcha.

    Major Tom(DA): Your mission is to retrieve Dr. Soushirei. Dr. Soushirei is being held in an abandoned factory located to the north of your current position. Avoid heavy combat and don't let anyone see you. Don't forget that this is a stealth mission.

    The Boss(Mish): Snake, try to remember some of the basics of CQC...

    Spike draws the knife he's been given as well as the tranquilizer gun.

    Spike: Commencing Virtuous Mission...now.

    Spike climbs underneath a nearby falled tree. Killing a snake for food.

    Para-Medic(Rosey): I see you caught yourself a reticulated python. The reticulated python is said to be the longest snake in the world. The biggest ones can grow up to 10 meters in length. Although they're not posionous, they're still very dangerous, so be careful around them. They have a highly ferocious temperment, and they can swallow who even large animals like deer and pigs. Their most distinguishing feature is the mesh pattern of their scales. This pattern acts as a highly effective natural camouflage. If you think there might be a reticulated python about, pay close attention to your surroundings. Otherwise you could get bitten before you even know it's there. It's a huge snake, but you should be able to capture it alive by using the tranquilizer gun. I'll bet if you capture one and throw it at an enemy, it'll give him a good scare.

    Spike: Right. But - how do they taste?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): Huh?

    Spike: Do they taste good?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): You're actually going to eat one?

    Spike: Why else would I be asking?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): MutteringCannibal.

    Spike: What was that?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): Nothing. Let's see what the guide says...Ah you're in luck. It says they taste pretty good.

    Spike: Good. I can hardly wait.

    Spike proceeds into a swamp where there are large crocodile like creatures. He throws a grenade in the mouth of one causing a ? to appear over it's head before it explodes into 3 neat little floating ration boxes.

    Para-Medic(Rosey): I see you've captured an Indian Gavial. The Indian Gavial is a crocodile that originally lived in freshwater regions in India and Nepal.

    Spike: Why are Indian crocodiles way out here?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): They're captice crocodiles that were brought here for research purposes, but escaped and became wild again. Indian gavials are large creatures - adult males grow to over six meters in length. You'll never catch one alive. Even if you use the tranquilizer gun.

    Spike: Got it. So, how do they...

    Para-Medic(Rosey): Taste? Yes, I did look into that. You know what they always say - tastes like chicken!

    Spike: Sounds delicious.

    Para-Medic(Rosey): But be careful when capturing an Indian Gavial. Normally they're cowardly creatures, but the ones in the forest there are belligerent. Apparently they attack humans.

    Spike: What do you mean?

    Para-Medic(Rosey): They weren't the direct subject of any serious research but some think they may have become violent as a side-effect of the atomic research that was conducted nearby.

    Spike ends the call and continues North to rescue Soushirei.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 25, 2008, 27 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  13. Laurence_Fox
    Thread

    Um...okay

    Wii Meditation video

    So now they're telling us to sit down? oo;

    REVOLUTIONARY.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 24, 2008, 0 replies, in forum: Gaming
  14. Laurence_Fox
    Thread

    Odd picture

    So I was poking about on a photography site I like with the subject being abandoned buildings. When what should I find but this:

    [​IMG]

    It's almost creepy. o.O;
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 20, 2008, 17 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  15. Laurence_Fox
    So I decided to skip 2 all together. I might write it sometime in the future but 3 seemed more interesting. So here's the cast of this one.

    This story is by no way connected with The Twin Cynics that I had written earlier.

    The Cast
    Naked Snake/Big Boss: Spike
    EVA: Kitty
    Major Zero: DarkAndroid
    Para-Medic: Rosey
    Signit: GhettoXemnas
    Major Ocelot: Laurence_Fox
    Colonel Volgin: libregkd
    The Boss: Mish
    The Fear: shadowjak
    The Pain: Cin
    The Fury: Darkwatch
    The End: Vivi's Dark Side
    The Sorrow: Forsaken
    Major Raikov: RISK
    Sokolov: Soushirei
    Granin: Repliku
    Johnny: himself 8D
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 19, 2008, 8 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  16. Laurence_Fox
    [​IMG]

    Isn't 'arctic cold' a little redundant?

    But then again I don't know about 'Arctic Heat'.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 18, 2008, 0 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  17. Laurence_Fox
    So I was reading the manga the other day and came across a most delightful image that had me in stitches.

    [​IMG]

    I don't think the intention was humor at this point though.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 17, 2008, 14 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  18. Laurence_Fox
    by O R A N G E to a fight to the death.

    One of her kindred was hurled at me and hit me in the jaw.

    Don't worry. The orange was delicious. :3
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 13, 2008, 8 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  19. Laurence_Fox
    http://www.grammy.com/GRAMMY_Awards/

    Just one question:

    When is Evanescence considered 'hard rock'?
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 13, 2008, 2 replies, in forum: Music
  20. Laurence_Fox
    This is a nice little guide I found somewhereabouts on the internet. Whatever you do in private IM roleplays is your business but this was written for role play on a forum and is a rather nice little easy to follow guide.

    I would like to avoid drama with this unlike the last time I called attention to this very problem. All I am trying to do is make your role plays a more enjoyable experience. I am not being mean by doing this and I would appreciate no one say that about this guide. In the end I am doing this for you, the role players of KHV.

    So without further ado, here are these simple guidelines:

    1. If you want to show that your character is saying something, then do it as if you were writing dialouge out for a story. Example:

    "How are you?" George asked her.

    2. If you want to show your characters thought you may place them in italics, or like so:

    "I wonder why I've never seen her before" George thought to himself.
    OR:
    I wonder why I've never seen her before. George thought to himself.

    3. If you want to show your characters action, then simply write the action down. Do NOT use asterisks (*) dashes (-) or any other symbols to show this. Example:

    George smiled, standing as he did so, extending a friendly hand the girls way to shake.

    4. RP posts are ALWAYS done in third person. Do not use the phrase "I" in relation to your character. Example:

    George laughed, reaching down to help the girl pick up her things, he was clumsy himself and so thought nothing of it.

    5. Use proper grammar and spelling when typing a post, no chat or text speak. Vary your sentence length as well. Example:

    Once her things were gathered George offered them to the girl, waving off her thanks, "Don't worry about it." he assured her. He helped her tuck her things back into her bag, motioning over his shoulder to the Cafeteria, "Care to join me?" he asked with a charming smile. He, of course, was hoping for a yes.

    *If a mod wishes to move this somewhere, they may do so.
    Thread by: Laurence_Fox, Jan 12, 2008, 10 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone