Recent Content by sadde211

Monster
By Sadde Morgan

Iron masks and burning lies,
Your words can cut through flesh and bone.
Don’t understand
How you can go through life alone.
It seems to me
That your mind still isn’t your own.

Don’t destroy,
All that you create.
Filled with prayer and life,
All that you’ve learned to hate.

Monster,
How should I feel?
When I see all you don’t reveal?
Monster,
These wound we can never heal,
Those we’ve tried to conceal.

I watch her cry inside,
And hope to block it all out.
A life of lies,
Broken glass she could do without.

For your sake,
You should watch her cry.
Hope to god
And maybe wish she would die.

Monster,
How can you say,
That everything was always okay?
Monster,
How can you feel,
Everything that you say isn’t real?

I see his heart break inside,
Every day is always lied.
Though the glass he’s tried to assemble,
They all hold out and pieces collide.

Monster,
What should we do?
Give way and just thank you?
Monster,
What can I do?
Watch as the waterfall flies,
Shattered glass from our old guise.

Break down in tears,
We all have seen the game.
In the end,
It’s you that we blame.

We once were one and the same,
You and I,
I remember those days,
Sparks did fly,

But there was still love,
There was still life,
We could all see it,
Hidden deep was her strife.

Monster,
How can I stand by?
Watch as our time died.
Monster,
How can I watch?
What you did to her,
Back to what I refer.

I watch you now,
In your “peaceful“ design:
“Yep, that’s right,
Everything’s fine!â€

Listen to her now,
Right by your ear.
The mirror‘s reflection,
Only become‘s clearer.

It wasn’t the end,
O’ Monster of mine,
I was waiting for you,
Hoping you’d decline.

Monster,
How could you listen?
Watch our life crumble,
The glass beams and glistens.
Monster,
How could you believe her?
“I will love you, and honor you,
respect and cherish you
All the days of my life.â€

And me,
Sitting here,
Ready to look away,
And break down into tears.

Watching my life,
Pass me by,
Almost as if,
Through someone else’s eyes.

Monster,
Don’t you listen?
Can’t you believe me
When I tell you we’re dieing?
Monster,
Cry out now,
I want to sit here when you finally realize,

Monster,
You’re not like me,
Monster,
You can’t control me like you did her.
Monster,
Everyone’s leaving you.

The clarity
Of the glass in my hand,
Watch as it,
Pours out like sand.

Like the hourglass,
That is your time.
You see it now,
What I write out in rhyme.

You’re going to be alone,
Forbidden,
Without life.

Monster,
Don’t you see what you’re doing?
Monster,
Don’t you know you killing me?

Every day I get home,
My wounds reopen at the sight of your face,
And the antidote,
You tried to erase.

Luckily,
You’re days are numbered.
Monster,
You’re on your own.

I sit in my bed,
Music pounding in my ears,
Trying to block out the pain,
Trying to stop the constant tears.

Anger is an issue,
Hate is as well,
Pity for dreamers,
Might as well go to hell.

Watch what I say,
And hate what I do,
Every day remembering,
What you put me through.

Fear is an object,
Fear is a price,
But it leads to the goal,
Only one toss of the dice.

Watch me now,
Destroy my life without a care.
Pain’s a release,
Hating and loving in sudden despair.

Clashing colors,
Individuality hated,
Conformity ignored,
All words of wisdom- suddenly sedated.

Turn the wheel,
Let the blood flow,
After all it’s a game,
Who would know?

Someday that wheel will I finally turn,
Get up enough courage to finally try.
Maybe to hate,
Maybe to die,

But in the end what does it matter?
In this world of living dead,
My reality is naught,
My façade I will shed.

Break me down,
Watch me cry,
Replace this fear inside,
Life I no longer will defy.

My idea was good,
It was all there,
Until of course,
Into the flames I did stare.

Watch me now,
Don’t run away,
I’ve got a story,
To tell you today.

Life is a game,
And you either
Loose or give up.

I intend to do neither,
So watch me rebel,
And watch me play
With the fire’s of hell.

I was really angsty when I worte this but I like it a lot.

Okay. This is a story I've been working on, but I'm only posting the first chapter for now. If enough people like it, and I feel good about it, I'll post the next one.

1.
Dreams flashed in front her eyes, memories and bloody visions, things she knew were too horrible to even see, truly. A death, a friend, a power, a life. Everything so fast it made her eyes hurt from the deepness of the dream. She felt a cold touch on her face and her eyes flashed open.
She was alone. That much she knew. The girl sat up slowly, her frizzy red hair falling past her shoulders and to her waist and she felt the presence of someone else in the room, despite her knowledge of no one being there, something dark… evil. Her green eyes flashed around the room with lightning speed, trying to find the presence there. Nothing.
She slid her long thin legs over the bed from and the dark green short sleeved tunic fell down below her knees, covering her thin corset easily. She felt a cold ring on her shoulder, but she didn’t even have to reach up to know what it was. The silver cuff that had been there sense she was a little girl.
How could she know that? The girl thought absently, arching her head into the hallway, looking for the darkness that she had known was there. She backed up and looked around the deep red room with mahogany furniture. There was a circular bed in the corner, a desk across from that, and a chest and armoire on the other wall.
She put her long elegant fingers to the desk and opened the letter box in the corner. She opened it slowly but before she could look at any of the letters, a crash sounded down the hallway. She closed her eyes, envisioning where she could get her clothes, trying to tap into her memories, those she had forgotten, and she slowly reached down and open the bottom drawer of the armoire. In a few minutes, she had put on a thin pair of brown breaches, very thin and tight against her body. She seemed to like it that way.
The girl pulled on some brown boots and pulled a bow, a knife and a quiver full of arrows out of the trunk. She put on a black velvet cloak on and strung an arrow and aimed walking gracefully along the walkway, following her instincts.

Faye quietly walked along the walkway, the water from the rain dripping down her torso, cleaning her ragged dress. She grabbed onto the necklace around her neck, a little fairy that had been made in the Renokan kingdom. She loved it, it was the only thing she had left from her family, before they left her in the middle of the streets as a child. She still remembered that day, although however vague, she’d never forget her mother’s face.
She stood outside the tavern and watched as Faye opened the door. “In here, mother?†she had asked.
Her mother had forced a smile, her brown hair falling down around her in knots. “Yes, sweetheart, in there. You’ll be living here for a while. Just until I get back, okay, Faye?â€
“Whatever you say, mother.†She said nodding and dropped her bags in the front door.
She remembered staying at the door for a moment, listening to her mother speak with the man who had helped her bring Faye there. She remembered the broken glass shattered around the room, the broken doors and tables in piles all around her, the chairs splintered and unusable.
“Are you sure we should do this?†she heard her mother say.
“If we don’t we’ll be forced into it by those stronger than us. She is one of them, Jamie, we have no say in what we must do to preserve our kind. To win back our land and be free. Be grateful it wasn’t when she was older, at least now she’ll be able to forget about us and live her own life while she’s still young.â€
But Faye never forgot her mother, or the man who had comforted her when she gave her up. She still remembered looking through the glass out into the foggy night, hoping to catch a glimpse of her mother leaving.
It had been a night much like the one tonight, dark and raining. She remembered it. She had found a room in the old Renokan tavern she had been left in.
Renokans. They had started all of this. They had driven everyone insane, they had made everyone think them as evil. They had started the war. They had given her what she didn’t want. They had been the ones who had made her mother leave her. She was sure of it now. She closed her eyes, the water dripping down her face as she remembered the day she had found out what she was.
It had been bright and sunny. It was a day she had gotten enough food to eat, a rarity. She had discarded the meat and given it to a family nearby, a family who had lived on the streets as long as she had. “Here you go, Terressa.†She said kindly, and the littlest girl ate it hungrily. The mother, Dianna, looked after her gratefully. Faye didn’t eat meat.
She sat back against the wall and ate the bread and cheese she had stolen, fingering her black hair silently. It was unlike her to steal. She didn’t want to do it, but sometimes it was a necessity. She would have to in order to live.
She closed her eyes, envisioning herself as she was, if she looked like the pretty girls who lived on the Yander Hill. She would put her long brown hair back and up high in a bun and would proudly display her necklace. The dress she would wear would compliment her blue eyes beautifully, a deeper blue, darker than her light eyes. It would make her breasts look fuller, bigger, much more feminine and adult. She was quiet flat-chested for her age. And maybe, if she did look prettier, she would look better for him.
A man rode up beside the ally was in and noticed her scrabble to hide the things in her bag. It was a mistake on her part, for she knew he would notice. She wanted to get out of here, before the man caught her and found out she had no parents to speak of. She would be put with a family that would hate her, and she would have to run away to her tavern again.
“Hey you!†He called, just as she had anticipated, and she ran, as fast as she could, down the alleyway. It was him. The Prince of Dantius. At least now he noticed her.
She ran as fast as she could, but knew it would mean nothing. He had a horse and she was on foot, there would be nothing to stop him from getting to her. Part of her wanted him to catch her, but another part of her wished she could get away. Part of her wanted to be free. Free to fly and make her own way. Free as a bird.
In a moment she was doing just that, and she frantically looked around as she felt herself float upward. Faye looked around and soon learned that instead of asking questions, she should just enjoy the inevitable. She was Renokan. She was a fairy. She could fly.
She watched as the man she had loved sense she had first set her eyes on him watched her with his beautiful grey eyes and she flew away into the morning sun.
That had been two years ago, she was seventeen now, and she stood in the rain the full moon almost gone behind the hill, her wings tucked in their spots on her back, the fragile plastic-like wings hiding from the rain. She stood there and didn’t even have to look up to know that there were three men standing around her, ready to fight. Ready to try and hurt her, they wanted her. Rage and sorrow filled her simultaneously, and she rounded her foot around her, almost in slow motion and hit the first man in the jaw.
Blood catapulted in the direction her foot went and she simply continued the kick as she hit the second man in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of him. She twirled with the grace of a Renokan as she knocked the first and third off their feet and jumped in the air using both her feet to break the second mans neck.
An animal flew by her and plunged jumped onto the first man’s chest. She had barely time to register him ripping the man’s throat out as she jumped and kicked both her feet into two different directions, in between the man’s legs, making him do a split. She used her left foot, to balance her as she landed, but let the right continue on as she hit the man in the neck and she felt a snap underneath her foot. Faye landed, and turned to look at the creature that had helped her.
The wolf stared at her, its gray eyes challenging her. In bowed down on one knee for a moment, then quickly turned to the horizon, the dark fur standing up on end. The sun found it’s way over the hill.
A howl filled the night, like a scream. It sounded painful and made it feel like reality was being ripped in half. She watched as the wolf cried out and the muzzle roughly distorted out of shape and into a face, a very human face. The animal’s torso grew longer and the legs thicker. In good time, the dark wolf had transformed into a human. And not just any human, but the Prince of Dantius.
“Your Highness?†Faye asked into the rain and the boy panted, his dark-brown-almost-black hair matted against his face. It reminded her of the wolf’s fur.
He gasped for air and didn’t say anything. “Your Highness, are you alright?†Faye asked urgently, kneeling down next to him.
“I need…†he said breathless. “To rest… out of the rain…â€
“Come on, I’ll take you to my tavern.†She said and helped him up. He put his arm around her neck and she helped him walk. “It’s only a few minutes away.â€
Faye needed to help him. Not only because he was the Prince, not only because he was the one she had fantasized about, or because he was the only one that knew what she could do. It was because, he too, was Renokan. He too, was like her.

When Sander awoke, he wasn’t where he thought he would be. He wasn’t in the middle of the street, probably surrounded by the people, wondering what the Prince of Dantius was doing naked in the middle of the town square, unconscious.
Instead, he was in a bed, his arm, where he had gotten slashed by the man was bandaged and treated probably. He wore a black tunic, greed breaches at the foot of the bed where he slept. Slowly, he shook away the sleep from his mind and slipped out of bed. He put on the breaches and opened the curtains on the windows. It was bright outside, the sun well overhead. He had slept through most of the day, it was well into the afternoon now. Who had helped him? What had happened was a blur.
He remembered being at a dinner with his mother and father. There were many important people there, and he was supposed to entertain. He had gotten a sense that he was needed, that he needed to change, and so he had excused himself and, like he sometimes he did at night, melted into his wolf shape.
He ran as fast as he could towards what his instincts had told him needed doing. It had only happened a few time in the past, but this time the need of it was insanely overwhelming. It took most of his restrain to change right then and there, in the middle of a court of officials.
Sander shook his head again and headed downstairs slowly, knowing the energy the change had expended him. He made his way down into the middle of the tavern.
It turned out it was one of the most well know Renokan taverns of the previous age, when Renokan taverns were still aloud in Dantius. It was a wreck now, but it seemed that someone had attempted to clean it as best as he could. The front desk had papers scattered all over it, as if someone had been sorting them, and the remains of the tables were put in a pile in the corner. There were still some big pieces on the floor, which meant that someone that wasn’t very strong lived here. A woman perhaps. He made his way past the desk and into the back, where he heard the sounds of someone cooking coming from. Food. He thought hungrily. Good, I could eat just about anything right now…
He stood in the doorway for a moment searching the room with his grey eyes. He saw no one, although the stove was on and the counters were covered with ingredients. He arched his head for a moment and stepped into the room a bit.
She popped her head up almost instantly, her wavy black hair bouncing along as she nodded her head to an old song he had heard before, but couldn’t seem to place the name. She turned suddenly and he realized who had saved him.
It was the girl he had seen fly away from him. The girl who lived on the streets. She had beautiful blue eyes and a straight posture that made her look almost noble. She had a thin face and long, skinny fingers and arms. She wore a brightly colored shirt, one that seemed slightly dirty, and a pair of brown breaches, covered in flour and dough. She had been cooking a long time.
Her eyes fell on his and she quickly ran around the island and kneeled before him. “You’re Highness.†She said, averting her gaze.
Everything fell into place now. He had seen her that day a few years ago, his memory still felt what he had felt when he had seen her. The happiness and innocence. She wasn’t so little anymore though, and when he felt her in trouble, he must have been sent to save her. He had a painful flash of memory as he killed one of the three men attacking her in the rain and bowed down on one knee for her.
He knelt down now, to be eyelevel with her. “Sander.†He said slowly. “To you, I’m just Sander.â€
She looked into his eyes now, and saw the true sincerity in his words. His eyes couldn’t lie, no matter how hard he would try to make them, they would always betray him. At least now he could get her to stop treating him a god. To have someone that would stop treating him as a god. “What’s your name?†he asked her.
“Faye.†She said quietly. It wasn’t that hard to understand. As far as he could tell she was a fairy, one of the beautiful and natural of the Renokans. Faye meant little fairy.
“Faye, you know I saw you two years ago.†A flash of recognition lighted her eyes. “And you saw me last night. And last night you remember what I did, don’t you?â€
She gulped. “You bowed to me.â€
“For wolves, that’s a sign of trust and equality. So if we’re equals,†Sander reasoned. “you most certainly don’t have to treat me like royalty.â€
“But… your Highness I-â€
“Sander.†He corrected her.
“But Sander, you are royalty.†She said quickly. “It is only fair that a street brat such as myself should bow down before your greatness…â€
“We’re both Renokans here.†He interrupted. “And I’m anything but great.â€
She dropped it, then, and Sander was relieved. He helped her up, and held on to the wall for his own support. “I made breakfast.†She offered, scrabbling behind the island again. “Even with meat for the werewolf.†She winked at him.
Werewolf. There was the word for him, finally, he had told somebody, and finally he heard what he was. That was it. He was a werewolf.
She noticed the dark change in him and quickly averted her eyes. “Sorry.â€
“It’s okay.†He assured her. “It’s just that nobody really has called me that yet. Nobody knows what I can do.†He paused. “You don’t eat meat?â€
She looked at him with an are-you-kidding-me? look. “I’m a fairy. What fairy do you know of eats meat?â€
She had a point. “I haven’t met very many fairies.†He said smiling slightly. “So I wouldn’t know.â€
“Come.†She said motioning to the chairs by the island. “Sit.â€
He did as she asked and sat in the leather bar stool and she put the eggs, sausage and bacon on a plate for him. “There’s bread in the oven, and more sausage if you want it.â€
He looked hungrily at the plate, and would have eaten with his hands if he hadn’t been raised as a proper gentleman. She handed him a knife and fork and he started to attack the meat as best he could.
“Forgive my cooking skills.†She said, sitting down next to him, a plate with eggs, oatmeal and fruit in front of her. “I’ve never cooked meat before.â€
He had half the sausage gone by then. “Well then excuse me for acting like an animal while I eat it.†He caught himself, and grinned.
She grinned too. “The animal can sometimes act like an animal.†She said and ate a piece of her fruit. “It might not be how your raised, but it is who you are.â€
He felt good, it was the first time he had ever confided in anyone about what he could do. Well, the first time anyone ever had found out about what he could do. He suspected it was the same with Faye. Sander liked it here, it certainly was a lot better than the stuffy banquet hall with the long table where you couldn’t even see anyone. It was nicer here homier.
“So how did you find this place?†Sander asked after a minute. “It’s certainly lucky for a Renokan to find a deserted Renokan tavern.â€
She was quiet for a moment, thinking. “When I was seven my mother and her friend left me here.†She said, and Sander stopped eating. “He told her that I was one of children that were the last hope for their race to survive and that they should just let me go.†She shook her head. “He convinced her to leave me here, on the streets.†She pulled a chain out from under her shirt and revealed a silver fairy pendant. “This is all I have left of her.†She was quiet, remembering the sad memory, then shook her head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bothering you with my tragic life.â€
“No, it’s fine.†He said. “I like hearing about you. You… intrigue me. Ever sense I found out you could fly I’ve been hoping to find you again.â€
She smiled. “You know, it’s funny, the day you found out I could fly was the day I found out I could fly.â€
He looked at her strangely. “You ran as fast as you could away from a man on a horse and you knew you couldn’t get away?â€
She laughed. “Yeah, I did. I just knew I had to get away. I was young, and thought you would throw me in jail for stealing.†She caught herself, and began taking great care in picking at her food.
“You thought I would throw you in jail for stealing?†he said skeptically, and she looked up.
“Isn’t that what you do?†she asked, confused.
“That’s what my father does.†Sander said. “If you’d stayed I’d probably given you all the gold I had on me.â€
She stared at him. “You’d do that for someone you’d randomly met on the street?â€
He shrugged. “If they needed it.â€
She dropped the subject. Apparently she believed, as many of the others in the kingdom did, that all royalty was cruel. Maybe talking with him would change her mind. He didn’t want to be like his father. He wanted people to know that.
“So how about you?†she asked. “How long have you known about being a werewolf?â€
Sander sighed. He knew she would ask that sooner or later. “About four years ago, when I was twelve, I had a problem nagging me in the back of my mind. It was small at first, but it grew in intensity, and when I went into my room that night I turned into a wolf. The next morning, I found myself face down in my bed, the glass in my window broken. I found later that day that a Duchess I knew had almost been raped by the pier. She had been saved by a dog-like animal. The court was in a flame because of it. The next time it happened, I was sure it was me, and I accepted it. I was a werewolf, a Renokan.â€
Faye was quiet for a moment, taking in his story and thinking it over. “But how can you be a Renokan? Your parents are humans.â€
He looked out into nothing and thought the question over. He never really considered it. Renokan genes passed through hereditarily. His parents most certainly weren’t Renokans, but he most certainly was. How was it possible?
Maybe they weren’t his parents. Maybe, his real parents were out on Reno, hiding from the government, and, like Faye, left him with the Queen and King of Dantius. It wasn’t like he looked like them. They both had platinum blonde hair, as was the natural color in Dantius. But he had dirty blonde hair, and grey eyes, while they had platinum hair and brown eyes. He had always wondered why he looked so different, so… foreign. Maybe he was the son of a Renokan and maybe they were still alive. The King and Queen were always distant from him, like they didn’t want to get to close. Maybe it was just being in the court, and they had to much business to attend to him. But maybe it was something else, something different….
“I’m starting to think that the King and Queen aren’t really my parents.†He said slowly.
She didn’t seem to even flinch at this, she took it calmly. “Well at least you have the flexibility to imagine what your parents are like. I remember my mother as she was. She left me there even though she knew she could keep me. You? They could have been starving and done it for you, because they knew they couldn’t feed you. It could have been an act of compassion.â€
Sander had to admit he didn’t think about that possibility.
Faye shrugged. “You’ve never lived on the streets, you don’t see what some people do to save their children.â€
He shifted his weight uncomfortably. “But if your right, maybe I should have lived on the streets instead of in the palace’s luxury. Maybe I should just live on the streets, no food or money.â€
She smiled slightly. “If you did that there would be much more people on the streets than you realize.â€
“How so?†he asked.
“You said so yourself, that if you see someone in need of money on the street, resorted to steeling you’d give them money. How many times have you done this?â€
“A lot.†He admitted.
“Now think about what would have happened to those people if you hadn’t given them hope.â€
He sighed. “I guess your right then.â€
She smiled completely now. “You have a good heart, Sander. Unlike your father, you will rule the people will diligence and honor.â€
Sander grinned. “I hope so. Faye, do you want to come to the palace for a while? I mean, I’ll be happy to lend you some rooms.â€
She shook her head. “And be intertwined in the inner working of palace politics? No, thank you.â€
“Than at least come to my birthday party tomorrow.†He said. “It’s the least I can do. You did save me.â€
“I didn’t save you!â€
“Think about what would have happened this morning if they had found the prince unconscious in the middle of the street.†She blushed. “I would be asked questions I really didn’t want to answer and my family would be disgraced. In my opinion, you save my family from political ruin.â€
She thought for a moment. “I don’t have anything to wear.†She said shyly.
Sander thought for a few minutes too. “I don’t have anything to do early tomorrow morning, so if you want I could buy you a gown. Anyone you want.â€
She smiled. “Really, Sander? You’d do that?â€
“Anything.†He said grinning, than added under his breath. “For you.â€

The girl bashed open the door with her foot and looked cautiously around the courtyard. She vaguely remembered being here before, while it was crowded, but now it was almost completely deserted. She checked for anything threatening and strung her bow over her back, but kept her knife loose from it’s place on her arm.
“Hello, darlin’.†She heard from behind her and twirled around in a second her knife at the man’s throat.
He grinned, his hands in the air. “O’, the rose ‘as thorns!†he chuckled.
“What do you want?†she snarled, startled by her own voice.
“Nothin’, flower.†He said. “Maybe a kiss or two..â€
“Don’t mess with me.†She growled and slashed open her neck, and he collapsed.
She cleaned her knife on his shirt and stood, thinking about the ease at which she killed. He had threatened her, and even though it probably wasn’t a very serious threat, she had killed him. Who was she?
She put her hand inside his shirt and felt through his pockets until she found the coin bag filled to the brim. The one thing the girl had been looking for.
She sighed. Why was it always too easy to steal money from those who tried to hoard it? She shook her head. How did she know that? The girl tucked her hair behind her ear and brushed past the tip of it, which startled her. It wasn’t rounded, like the man’s, it was pointed.
Renokan…. The word bubbled across her mind. Elf… And she understood. She wasn’t human. She wasn’t aloud to let people see she wasn’t. She put her hair in front of her face again and pulled the hood of her cloak up.
Her mind wandered slowly back to what he said as she walked away. “The rose has thorns.†She thought for a moment. Rose. That was a good name.