Recent Content by highlander

Cut and Heal
Wounds
That have been bleeding
For me what seems like a thousand years
Bleeding without cease
Have been healed
With the sound of your voice
Your words have brought me
Greater and faster healing
Than that of the greatest remedies
A single complement from you
Is all I need to know how special I am
Your gentle laugh tears all my fears away
Leaving me with all the joy In the world

Your soft bright smile
Takes me away from my dark past
And Melts away the part of my heart
That has remand frozen for too long

But you have hurt me
More than all the suffering
I have endured in a lifetime
You heal my broken heart
But you cut right into it again
You heal and cut
Cut and heal
Cut and heal
Over and over
Once you have heal me
You cleave even deeper
And weld my heart
Back together again
You say you love me
But do you really?
Because you don’t show it
You say that you cherish me
But you put so many more things above me
You say you’ll always be there
But when I scream out for help
You don’t hear me
Because your to absorbed in your own life
You cut and heal
Cut and heal
Cut and heal
You say I mean the world to you
So then why do you keep looking for something more?
I’m sick and tired of all your lies
Stop saying you love and show me you do
Or at least stop lying to me
when will the day finally come
When you stop piercing into my heart
Or when you finally cleave my heart in two
Or when my heart becomes immune to you
Either your actions heal me along with your words
Or your words back up your actions
And cut straight through my heart
Or you continue to cut and heal
To the point where I want nothing to do with you[DOUBLEPOST=1348555386][/DOUBLEPOST]This is a poem that I wrote, what do you all think?


Sham of a life


I hear it now
It echo’s in my head
Every word they say
Ugly, disgusting, fage, douch
Useless, unlovable, pitiful
Dumb ass, sicko, scum
They say I’m an abomination
And that I’d be better off dead
And their right
My existence is a sham
I’m merely a burden on society
Nobody cares about me
They all walk by me like I’m not there
The only time I’m acknowledged
Is when they persecute me
They have nothing but hate for me
They have each other
But I have no one
No one wants me
I’m insignificant to them
So I try and try to be worth something
But it’s all in vain
Because no matter what I do
They still don’t accept me
All I want is to be loved by someone
Anyone
I just want to be looked at
And seen with value
I want to be accepted
But no one can love someone
That’s as worthless as me
I hate how pitiful I am
I hate my weakness
I hate how pathetic I am
I hate that I’m so useless
I hate my awkwardness
That doesn’t allow me to be acceptable
I hate that I can’t help anyone
I hate the way I look
I hate that I’m so pitiful
I hate that I’m not capable of anything
I hate myself
I wish I could just die
And be done with this useless life
So I cut
I cut into my skin
Because I hate myself
And I want to die
I cut
Because I don’t want to feel
The pain of being alone
So I don’t think about how worthless I am
So I don’t remember that no one cares
I cut
Because I have become numb to pain
And I want to feel something
And remember that I’m alive
Remember that I’m real
Remember that I exist
Remember that I’m human
Remember that I can feel something
But I also want to forget it as well
Forget that I’m suffering
Forget that I’m imperfect
Forget how worthless I am
Forget that I’m still living
In this epitome of hell
Forget that no loves me
Forget that they would be happier
If I were dead
Forget how hideous I am
Forget that I’m an abomination
Forget that I’m a sham

Damn it I hate myself!
Why am I so unlovable?
Why can’t I be acceptable?
Why do I have to be so despicable?
Will someone help me see what value I have?
Will someone show me what’s lovable about me?
Will someone accept me?
Will some love me?
Please
Will someone save me?

I hate it all!
There’s no point in this cursed life
I suffer only to suffer more
I hate this sham of an existence
I hate this life I’ve been cursed with
I hate everyone who persecutes me
Because they are right
I hate those who don’t help me
Because they shouldn’t
I have no reason to go on living
The world would be better off without me
I’m only being a burden to everyone
So screw it all
I’ll end my pain along this sorry of an excuse of a life now!
Good bye [DOUBLEPOST=1348555506][/DOUBLEPOST]Another one of my poems


Poor little boy

Poor scared little boy
Trying to be tough
Benching whenever he can
So when he fights he is ready
He will not be bullied again
Poor hurt little boy
Hacking out his arms
Trying to forget his pain
Cutting to forget he’s alone
Poor insecure little boy
Joining the gangs
So that he has people around
Stealing and vandalizing
So that they think he is cool
Poor lonely little boy
Doesn’t have anyone at all
Only the razor that cuts him
And the crap he smokes
Poor hopeless little boy
Wants to die
Because he believes the world
Would be better without him

Good loving God
Calms the boys anger
And shows him how to love
Good comforting God
Takes away his blade
And he heals his wounds
Good accepting God
Gives the boy his identity
Calling him his son
Good compassionate God
Crying with the boy
Feeling the boy’s pain
And wanting to be with him
Good merciful God
Gives the boy a purpose
And a reason to live.




Nothing, not even a shadow
I lye here in one piece
Yet I am in a million
My heart has become one
With all of these loves and passions
And one by one
They are stripped away
Taking part of my heart with them
Leaving what once was full and radiant
Torn, empty, lifeless and pathetic
And as I look in the mirror
I see absolutely nothing
The man that I once was
Is no longer there
He has not been replaced
But rather reduced to nothing
I have become a shadow of a man
But even a shadow
Has a partner to walk with
But I have no one
I have become no one
I am nothing
Stripped of all love and passion
There is no purpose to my existence
Everything I once lived for
Everything I loved and treasured
Means nothing to me now
It is but smoke carried away by the wind
I turn away in disgust
Fleeing to a dark hole
A dark hole marked with suffering
A hole shrouded in oblivion
And flooded in pain
But I don’t care
I have nothing, no one, no where
No passion, no love, no life
No reason to live
No use, no strength
No emotion, no home
Nothing to call my own
No worth, no talent
My existence is sham
As purposeless as a grain of sand
I have nothing
So this hole will be mine
Though it may be an epitome of hell
It is all I have
So it shall be My hell
It will be My tormentor
And Mine alone
I will accept this torture
So long as I may have something
For I long for nothing more
Than to be something

What has reduced me to this?
When did I cease to be?
When did I begin to shrivel?
When did I lose my value?
When did I become an outcast?
When did I lose my place?
When did I no longer belong?
When did this all happen?
It all began with my heart
It began when it was torn
When my loves and passions left
They took part of who I am with them
So would I be restored
If I had them back?
Would who I am
Return with them?
It would.
It all would be better
If I had my heart once again
That is what I need

So using all the strength I had left
I freed myself of the hell
That had become my home
And went to retrieve
What I had lost
And as my love and passions
Came into sight
I could feel hope returning
Like the sun after a long night
And as they were sight
I ran to them
Like a mother runs to her son
After he has returned from a long journey
This was it I would become something again
I would have value once more
My life would have a purpose
I would mean something to someone
I would finally belong again
But when they were in arm’s length
They snapped at me
With a look of rage in their eyes
They came forward
With the obvious intension
Of harming me
I turned and ran in despair
After I all I did and all I gave
After all I had suffered for them
They had turned on me
And treated me like a stray dog
But even a stray has pride
And my pride has left me as well
So I’m worth less than stray
I have nothing
I am nothing
And I will fade into
Nothing


I want to be with you

Who do you think you’re fooling?
I see past your rough mask
I see that you are broken and insecure
I know you’re hurting
I know that you’re weak
I know you’re sensitive
So why are you trying to be something you’re not
Why are you pretending you have it all put together
Why are you acting like you know what you’re doing?
Why are you acting like you’re okay?
Why are you pretending you don’t care?
Stop fooling yourself
We both know you need people
We both know you want to be loved
We both know you feel alone
We both know you’re just trying to find your place
You don’t actually like what you do
You just do it so that they accept you


But you know what?
I’ve been there with you this whole time
I was there crying with you
I was rejected with you
I was humiliated with you
I was abused with you
I was there bleeding alongside you
And I have always been there ready to love you
Who am I?
I am the creator of everything
I made the earths blueprints and laid its foundations
I made all the measurements for its area
I confined all the oceans to their places
I show the dawn its place every morning
It’s colors are reflected in my eyes
I clothed the night in darkness
I patched it with the bright laminate moon
I decorated it with each star
I dressed Orion with its belt
I endowed the dipper with the North Star
I have seen and conquered the gates of death
I know the answers to deaths dark mysteries
The cold frost resides in my womb
I give birth to the winter
It covers the flowers I had just painted
I gardened the spring
So that it may disappear in winter’s ice
And when the time comes
My warm breath melts away the dark frost
And reveal springs colors once more
I warm the earth with the summer’s heat
So that it may take shape in my hands
And refined under the weight of my hammer
I command the clouds and rain
I plan their ambushes and attacks
They flood where I order them to
And give enough to bring life where I desire
I teach the connivers how to hunt their prey.
I bless them with their dominate strength
I guild the birds to their nesting areas
I hold them in the sky
So that they may be safe from the predator

I am the God of the universe
And I have chosen to make you
I gave birth to you
And I have seen your troubles and heart ach
I want to comfort you and share your pain
I want to laugh and cry with you
I want to be your dearest friend
I want to hear what is on your heart
And I want to pour my heart out to you
I want the mutual sharing of our thoughts and feelings
I want to dream with you
I want to be with you and experience everything with you
All of it the good the bad and the ordinary
I want nothing more than to be with you
I love you
And I want for nothing more than to be loved by you as well
Even if you turn me down now I will always love you
And I will wait and meet you where you’re at
I will accept you how you are
And see you as the perfect masterpiece I made
I will treasure you and protect you
And if you are stolen away from me
I will relentlessly hunt you down and get you back
I will not give up on you
And when you fall I’ll take the hit with you
And I’ll pick you up carry you out of the abbess of shame
You are my child and I love you

So will you love me in return?
Will you allow me to walk beside you?
Will you allow me to share in your pain?
Will you find your identity in me?
Will see things with my eyes?
Will you share your heart with me?
Will you listen to my heart?
Will you dream with me?
Will you?
Or will you push me aside again?